How To Build Trust In A Relationship

                                                                     
                                                                   
                                                                
                              

  How To Build Trust In A Relationship



Building trust in a relationship can be very difficult depending on the circumstances. If one partner had an affair, then it may take several years to build trust in a relationship.  It can be done and marriages survive affairs but it will take time. The person who had the affair will need to apologize to his/her partner and then be prepared for that person to learn to trust them again.

But trust is something that needs to be built up in every partnership. After all you are going to share your life with this other person so you need to know that they share the same values as you do. If you are trying to build mutual reliance there are several ways of doing this:

1) Make sure your words and actions match. If you say you are going to be home at a certain time, then make sure you are or else phone in advance to explain why. It is the little gestures that define who we are.

2) Always tell the truth no matter how painful. Lies destroy every type of relationship from friendships through to marriage. Telling the truth isn't always the easy option but it is the safest. If your partner knows that you always tell the truth, they will trust you much quicker. If they hear you telling lies to others, even those that you dismiss as being small they will have less belief in you.

3) Do not keep secrets when in a relationship. Now I don't mean that you have to tell your new partner your deepest secrets but as soon as the relationship looks like it is becoming serious, it is a good time to make sure that any relevant history is out in the open.

4) You need to have faith in your partner before expecting them to return that trust. If you have to text them morning and night wondering where they are and who they are with, they are likely to think you have something to hide.

5) Don't be unrealistic. All relationships have issues even those that have been happily married for 50 years. You need to accept that being part of a couple means that you take the good times and the bad. If you bolt at the first sign of trouble, your partner is never likely to trust you.

6) Finally rely on yourself to do the right thing. You must first know yourself and trust in your ability to make the right choices before you can trust anyone else. You have to know what your own goals and aspirations are in life before you can share a meaningful existence with someone else. Somebody with a defined sense of values is more likely to trust another person as they will quickly recognize these similar values.

All good relationships are built on a number of factors so learn how to build trust in a relationship now to increase your chance of success.

Proven Advice For Teens Dealing With Breakups

Proven Advice For Teens Dealing With Breakups




Teenagers and adults tend to handle things differently in certain situations, and dealing with breakups is absolutely no exception. Some of the greatest advice that can be offered to teenagers dealing with breakups can be found online, because there are teenagers all over the world that are learning the lessons of love the hard way, by losing the people they cared about to breakups.



If you are a teenager and you have been recently separated from your boyfriend or your girlfriend, then you are probably feeling heartbroken right now, which is simply expected no matter how old you are. Luckily, you have plenty of living ahead of you, and you will meet a surprising number of suitors in your life that are better suited for you. Everyone goes through love and loss, and while it is unpleasant to begin so young, you can and will move on from this moment of heartbreak.



Here is some basic advice for teens dealing with breakups and the associated heartbreak.



- Do not try to rekindle things with your ex right away. The best way to show your ex that you are worth getting back together with is to play it cool and let him or her think that you're doing just fine without them. Play it cool by acting like you're having fun and hanging out with people, and that you do not need your ex to enjoy yourself.



- The initial period of time that occurs after a breakup can be rough, and you might feel tempted to get back with your ex, but you need to let your emotions simmer first so as to come off as calm and cool rather than needy and desperate. If you act desperately, this will actually greatly diminish your ability to get things going with your ex again in the future.



- The best plan to follow is to stop constantly calling, texting and trying to see your ex. Move on, or at least facilitate the appearance that you are moving on. Play hard to get. Play it cool. Let your ex develop the needy and desperate feelings rather than exhibiting them yourself.



- Get out of the house and see other people. Spend time with friends, meet new people, and have fun. Let your ex see that you are having fun and getting along fine. Don't be afraid to flirt a little. This will work wonders for your self esteem and your hurt feelings, and will create a little bit of jealousy in your ex. Let your ex simmer for a while, and you will start looking much more attractive to him or her in no time at all.



However, a word of caution with this particular word of advice, for teens dealing with breakups; don't overdo the jealousy factor as it can easily backfire on you.



- Take things slow. Even if your intention is to get things going with your ex, the breakup is going to have created residual feelings of heartbreak, so you need to mend your heart before you strike up any relationship, ex or not.



To sum up this advice for teens dealing with breakups, use your common sense and keep your emotions under control. By doing so you will find that time will be your best friend as your heart heals :)

Dr. Pharms, PhD.

How To Win Your Love Back And Keep Them

How To Win Your Love Back And Keep Them

If you're looking around wondering how to win your love back, then you've no doubt found yourself in a situation where you're still in love with your ex, but your ex has walked out of the relationship.

Your first step to win your love back has to be to take some time out and get your head together. It would be a big mistake to try and win back your ex within days of the breakup, particularly if it has been a messy breakup. So make sure that you take some time to sort yourself out.

Your first thought should always be to look after yourself.  That means avoiding your ex and making no contact with them at all. It's not going to be easy to go from being in a relationship with your ex to making no contact with your ex, but it is vital that you do.

 Contacting your ex makes you weak and puts you in a negative and vulnerable position.  Particularly if your ex has asked to be left alone.  Constantly calling or trying to see your ex means that you become less appealing to them.  Exs hate needy and desperate, so back off if you want to win your love back.

Instead, work at sorting yourself out. As you focus on yourself make sure that you're not spending all your time on your own.  It is very easy to find that when the love of your life walks out on you that you end up filling that space doing nothing but thinking about them.  This is a surefire way to find yourself depressed and low and recovering from depression brings a whole other level of problems that you don't need.

Get out and about and reconnect with your family and friends. Meet new people and make yourself have some fun.  Yeah, it's not going to be easy, but if it's the way forward to figuring out how to win your love back, then you have to do it.

As you slowly get back on your feet after the shock of the breakup, you should then begin to think about any role that you might have played in the breakup of the relationship.

It is very easy to blame your ex for everything that has gone wrong, but remember, it takes two to make a relationship and two to break that relationship. So during this time away from your ex as you work on figuring out how to get back with them, make sure that you are honest with yourself and that you claim any part of the breakup that is due to you. 

Did you make a mistake that caused the break down of the relationship? If you did, then you need to figure out how you're going to rectify the behavior that led to the mistake and the eventual breakup.

Though some of the outlined steps might seem counter-intuitive, if you're serious about figuring out how to win your love back, they are steps that you must take.

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PULL It Together - Help Save Marriage

PULL It Together - Help Save Marriage

Those who want help save marriage from ending in divorce need to PULL it together. It is a hard thing to watch a marriage that was once so precious and important fall apart. It's heart breaking to sit by as the two of you start going your separate ways. If you don't want that to happen then do something about it. Pull it together to help save marriage.

Chill out:

Take a moment to catch your breath and step back from the situation. Not necessarily take a break from it but to just calm down. It is easy for things to get over-heated. Take a moment to catch your breath and give it a moment to cool off. When you were young you were probably told to count to 10 when you got angry so that you could give yourself a chance to get yourself under control.

The same principle applies here. Before you do anything else, take a breath. The next time something is said to you that makes you mad, calm down, get a hold of yourself and then let go of your anger. Only then can you truly learn how to communicate and take the next step to help save marriage.

Understand what is happening:

While you are chilling out and taking a moment to breathe, take a look at what is happening. This is where you try and look at the big picture and then look at things from other perspectives. From where you are standing at the moment things may look pretty bad. Try to look at it from other perspectives and it might not be as bad as you thought.

Try looking at it from an outsiders perspective and from the one you love. From those other perspectives you might find out why things have been getting out of control. There may be a relatively simple solution to help save marriage.

Laugh at yourselves:

This doesn't mean to make light of the situation but it does mean don't take yourselves so seriously. It is easy to make mountains out of mole hills. Things snowball out of control but when you are able to see what it was that actually made the snowball you may end up laughing at it.

It can be hilarious to find out how a minuscule  thing can turn into something so huge when it didn't have to. It can be hilarious if you are willing to let it be. Many times when people go through a rough time they will say, Some day we are going to look back at this and laugh! Why wait?

Look for ways to improve:

Once you have had a chance to step back and catch your breath and then been able to get some perspective on the situation, you can move on. When you have realized that at it's root, this situation or problems that you have been struggling with is really small and manageable you can get things on track.

The next thing that you need to do is commit yourself to finding a way to improve.If you are responsible for the little things that get blown out of proportion, then try stopping it. If you have learned that you overreact, then stop it. Improve the way you handle situations and everything else may just fall into place to help save marriage.

To help save marriage, PULL together and bring back what belongs together...the two of you.

My Boyfriend Dumped Me - Picking Myself Back Up

My Boyfriend Dumped Me - Picking Myself Back Up

I feel like dying because my boyfriend dumped me! It isn't the end of the world and it isn't even close. Even though it hurts, it isn't going to last forever. This is something that you can and will get over. It will take some work, some help, some readjusting in the way you think, and some time. Be sure that just because you are upset that my boyfriend dumped me doesn't mean that life stops, life goes on. Be ready for it.

Getting past the idea that my boyfriend dumped me isn't going to be easy but it also isn't going to be impossible. You are going to have to pick yourself up and dust yourself off and move along. The alternative means that you will be stuck wallowing in your own misery.That is no life that you want to have then do what it takes to get out of it. It takes work to climb back out of the pit but the work is worth it and so are you.

Don't be afraid to ask for help but be careful where it is that you ask for it. If you are battling depression because of it, seek professional help. This doesn't mean that you are going crazy, depression is something that many people deal with so don't worry about people judging you. Do try to beat it, though.

It may be, though, that you have good friends or family that can help you out while you are trying to deal with that fact that my boyfriend dumped me. Be careful to not lay too much on these people, though, and when you ask for advice, follow it. If you are constantly complaining about your life and the situation but aren't following up on what advice is given, they are going to reach a point that you don't want. They are going to get tired of you and cut you off or seriously consider it.

You should also re-frame the way you look at the situation. Try looking at it from a different angle or perspective. While you may see it as the end of the world, from another person's perspective, it may not be. Try to find that other person's perspective. Try to see what good it is that you have to offer someone. What are your best qualities? For sure there is going to be someone out there who will appreciate them. Wait for them to come along.

While you are waiting, find some way to improve yourself. Find something that you have long dreamed about doing and throw your life into it. If there is something non-romantic that you have longed to achieve in life, pursue it. Do you want to make yourself better in anyway, now is the time to do it. Try to find someway to use this time and that negative energy you have will disappear, do something positive with it.

The end result will be a happier you.Once you have found that happiness, it will become magnetic and draw in the person that you dream of, the one that makes you smile and makes you feel like you belong. It will make you look back on this dark time in your life when you were crying because my boyfriend dumped me and see it as one of the best things that ever happened to you.

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The Secret To Letting Go After Divorce

The Secret To Letting Go After Divorce

One of the most difficult things to do after divorce is to let go and move on emotionally. This means letting go of all of the pain, anger and hurt your spouse has caused you. It sounds easier than it is. So just how to you let go of those negative feelings towards your ex?

You must remember: accept and forgive. It doesn’t mean you want to go back and live it over. It doesn’t mean you would keep the marriage together. It means you can move on with your own life, and live with the fact that your ex is doing the same thing.

Your ex-spouse’s life is meant to take a different path. If you have children then you will always be part of each others lives. But you will be able to detach and view your ex as the parent of your children instead of as your spouse. A new relationship will emerge. The roles are different. You choose how you are going to play this out. You can deal with your spouse either with kindness and understanding, having truly put the pain of divorce behind you, or you can harbor ill feelings and hang on to old hurts and feelings of betrayal. The choice is yours. Choose wisely. One road leads to peace and serenity and the other to anger, frustration, and pain.

This is your time of refection and soul-searching. There is light at the end of the tunnel. You will reach it. Right now you may not be able see past the hurt, anger, and pain. But trust me, life will become joyful and complete once again. You get to decide the life you want to have. Don’t turn bitter. It may be the easy path now, but later on it will be the hard road, and there won’t be any exits. How you see your divorce is the most essential choice you will make.

Say to yourself that , I now see my divorce for the many gifts it will bring to my life. Amidst the pain and sorrow, I will learn some tremendous life lessons. Now I can bring these into my new life and create a more compelling future. Listen to your heart. Trust in the knowledge that you will survive this devastating loss. You will survive, and you will thrive again. For Your information on  The Secret To Letting Go After Divorce:

How can You Tell If You Are In A Toxic Relationship??

How can You Tell If You Are In A Toxic Relationship??

  Here are some clues:

Your partner puts you down (verbally) in front of others. While your partner says they love you, their actions don't back it up.Your partner is controlling ,reading your mail or showing up at places you are at just to check up on you. Your partner tries to make you dependent on them. You have changed things about yourself to please them.

Toxic people make you feel ill just being around them. So, why would anyone end up in a toxic relationship?

Why would anyone want to be with someone who makes them feel emotionally or physically harmed?

A toxic relationship has a cycle. There's a honeymoon period, followed by a blow up, followed by a reconciliation at which point the cycle begins anew.

When you first meet a new partner, you are obviously in the honeymoon stage. It is not until they've sucked you in further that you realize that you are in a toxic relationship. At that point, it is difficult to get out
One reason is that many people in toxic relationships grow up in toxic homes. As a result, they replicate the patterns of their childhood without even knowing they're doing it.

And, they may not know any better. Others believe they do not deserve happiness. Still others find that they enjoy taking care of people.But the first step in getting out and staying out of toxic relationships is to realize that you do have choices. Often people who stay in these are couples have low self esteem or suffer from depression.

Once you realize that you have choices, the next step is to start standing up for yourself. In most toxic relationships, the toxic partner has taught you that it is all your fault( which its not). Once you buy into this, it can be very difficult to either walk away from the relationship or set new limits that can heal the relationship.

For some people, working in therapy groups can help them either get out of or redefine these horrible relationships. The good news is that some people are able to break the cycles of toxic relationships. Some of them leave the relationship and form new, healthier bonds. But others are actually able to repair their relationship and stay in it:

The truth is that most relationships are able to be salvaged. Sometimes it takes a little space. Other times, it takes counseling. But if both partners make an attempt, it is possible to renew the bonds in a healthy way
The first thing you need to decide is that the relationship must improve or you're willing to walk away.

If you aren't willing to walk away, you'll never be able to heal that which divides you.

Once you have liberated yourself from the dependency that is at the core of a toxic relationship, you can start to assert what you need from the connection. Don't nag the other person. Simply say I need your Support, I Need your Love, or I Need your Truthful Opinion.

If you don't get what you Need, the other person should know that you're prepared to Walk.

A Healthy Relationship is a two way street. In a toxic relationship, the street is only going one way. You have the Power to change that, but you must take the Power into your own Hands.