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Showing posts with label communication. Show all posts
Showing posts with label communication. Show all posts

Sunday, May 20, 2012

How To Overcome Communication Problems In Relationships




How To Overcome Communication Problems In Relationships


Communication problems in relationships are so common that no matter how great you and your sweetie get along, you’re bound to run into some miscommunication somewhere along the line. The good news is, with the right approach, these problems usually aren’t too hard to solve.

Bridge the gender divide!

Men and women approach relationships in distinctly different ways. Without and open mind, it’s all too easy to write the opposite gender off as “illogical” or even start thinking of their differences as childish or petty. The fact is neither gender is perfectly logical. Taking some time to learn about exactly how the opposite gender looks at love matters can help you avoid a lot of problems in relationships.

Listen thoughtfully!

Don’t forget that you’re one half of the communication problem. When you’ve been together for a while, you might start to think you know what your partner is going to say. Unless you have ESP, though, you’ll get a lot farther by actually hearing your partner out. When sweetie tells you something, restate what they said to make sure you understood correctly and let them know you heard.

Release the need for blame!

When one of you has a problem, the relationship has a problem and it’s in both your best interests to work it out peacefully. Instead of going around in circles trying to decide whose fault it is, focus on how you’re going to solve it. Likewise, try to avoid blaming your partner for your overall mood. 

Stick to the facts!

When trying to talk over problems in relationships, don’t bring up any thing you can’t prove. Instead, stay with what can’t be argued like your own feelings and what your partner already agrees they do. For example, saying “You disrespected me in front of my friends.” can be argued because standards of respect differ. On the other hand, saying “I was embarrassed when you told Dave you don’t think I should ask for a raise.” is not only unarguable, but also gets your point across more clearly. 

Be frank, but kind!

You’re not doing anyone any favors by taking a “put up and shut up” attitude to problems in relationships. All you end up doing is allowing wounds to fester and they can eventually reach the point where they’ll never heal at all. Instead, speak your mind when you have a problem, but do so with gentleness, kindness, and respect. Remember, your partner probably isn’t trying to hurt or annoy you and may be pretty upset to hear you’re unhappy.

Be a friend, not a coach!

Chances are, your partner isn’t with you because they’re hoping you can correct all their bad habits and personality flaws. You’re not their parent, teacher, coach, or boss. You’re their friend, lover and mate.

You may think you’re giving constructive criticism, but your partner might think your love or respect for them has diminished because of this one little flaw they have. Instead of criticizing, encourage improvement by giving your partner some positive feedback when they do something you really like.

There, that doesn’t sound too hard, does it? These techniques may be simple, but they really do work to solve communication problems in relationships. Give them a try.

Saturday, January 28, 2012

Top Ten List Of What To Do And What Not To Do In Relationships



Top Ten List Of What To Do And What Not To Do In Relationships


Most of us who have been intimately involved with someone beyond the infatuation stage know that relationships are like a roller coaster ride. When things are good, they are very, very good. When things are bad, they are very, very bad. As a relationship consultant, I have developed Top 10 Lists---one for men and one for women on 10 things to do and not to do in relationships.

MEN

DO

1. Just listen to your partner without offering advice.
2. Trust and Respect her.
3. Treat her as an equal partner in your relationship.
4. Stay and support her when she gets emotional. She is looking for understanding, not solutions.
5. Continue your courtship even after she’s committed to you. Continue to create romance in your relationship.
6. Do little things on a regular basis. A woman does care if you call her at work to say, “I love you” or if you buy a new TV for the living room. The small things are worth just as much as the big ones.
7. Honor any agreements you have made with her.
8. Encourage her goals and direction.
9. Find out what your partner would like to do and then do it with her.
10. Say, “I’ apologize” when you’ve done something you regret or that was hurtful to your partner, whether intentionally or unintentionally.

DON’T

1. Go to bed angry with your partner.
2. Try to offer advice or solutions when your partner just needs you to listen to her without comment.
3. Pretend to listen to her when you really aren’t.
4. Shut your partner out when you need to sort things out in your head. Just explain you need space, you aren’t angry with your partner and that you’ll be back.
5. Criticize your partner, especially her appearance.
6. Yell at your partner as if you were her father.
7. Take every word she says literally. Women, when upset, tend to speak in absolutes, such as “You NEVER listen to me;” when what she really means is that you aren’t listening to her at that time.
8. Allow jealousy to erode the trust, love and respect of your relationship.
9. Violate her privacy.
10. Forget special occasions.

Men and Women have different communication styles, different needs and desires, and different relationship challenges. Learning these differences can assist us in strengthening the relationships we have now and in the future.

WOMEN

DO

1. When you want more quality time with your man, make the time you do have as positive as possible.
2. Trust and respect him.
3. Stop nagging.
4. Allow your partner time away from you without giving him the third degree.
5. Appreciate the little things he does for you and tell him so.
6. Make love creatively and often. Don’t be afraid to initiate lovemaking.
7. Honor any agreements you have made with him.
8. Support his goals and direction.
9. Ask for what you want! (Believe it or not, no matter how much he loves you, he really can’t read your mind.)
10. Accept his “No” gracefully, trusting that he would if he could.

DON’T

1. Go to bed angry with your partner.
2. Insist he always share his feelings with you. Talking about feelings is more what women need.
3. Attempt to converse with your partner during a good movie or sporting event.
4. Continue to “give” in what you perceive is a lopsided relationship when you are at a point of resentment.
5. Criticize him or put him down, especially the things he does.
6. Scold your partner as if he were a child.
7. Use sex as a prize for good behavior or the withholding of sex as punishment for “bad” behavior.
8. Compare him to a fictional character in a book, movie or soap drama and find him lacking.
9. Violate his privacy.
10. Try to change him. Appreciate the man he is right now.

There is so much to learn about satisfying relationships that your parents never showed you. Please don’t become one of the statistics of divorce or perhaps worse, stay in a miserable relationship to honor your marriage vows while having so many regrets about your life as the time ticks away.

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Thursday, January 26, 2012

Six Essential Secrets For Flowing Relationships





Contrary to most conventional wisdom, it's not your looks, your money, your job or even your luck, that's going to land you that great relationship, and keep it sizzling. No, the secret is all in your attitude.

Here are my Six Essential Secrets For Flowing Relationships

1. Stop competing with each other! Good relationships are all about being on the same side. What's the purpose in scoring all those points? Sure you may cross the finish line first today, and maybe tomorrow as well. But you'll be all alone when you do, and if you carry on this way, eventually you may not have anyone left in your life to compete with! So stop competing; stop player-hating; start concentrating on crossing that finish line as part of a winning team.

2. Listen, communicate and hear! One of my favorite parts of my great relationship period, is to sit and chat with my wife. We talk about big stuff, and small stuff; share plans and pains, and each of us engages with what the other is saying. We never use silence as a weapon, and we never go to bed mad. Master the simple art of real conversation, and your relationship is halfway home!

3. Understand a relationship is not about "ownership. "This is probably the most common personal problem I come across. Possessiveness and jealousy are two of the most destructive of all human forces. Very few relationships will survive the poison of this twin-horned devil. Let it go!

4. Pay yourself first every day! The most important relationship of all is the one you have with yourself! That means taking care of your body, mind and spirit every single day. It's simply called self-respect. I can guarantee you, that if you don't care for yourself, then few others will. Why should they? If you've already demonstrated your own low self-esteem, who am I, or anyone else, to argue with that? Take care of yourself first each day, in order to be strong enough to take care of the people you care about.

5. Put the romance back! You just can't beat it. A romantic gesture says: "At this moment, I am thinking 100% of you, and your needs, and I want to do everything I can to please you." It also says a great deal about your own self-esteem. You'd be amazed how many people are motivated to make romantic gestures because of the praise they'll receive, not the pleasure they'll give. That isn't romance, its selfish. Learn to discern. Become a Master of Romance. It'll spice up your life!

6. Learn how to bend, but never so far that you snap.  Relationships are all about give and take. It's OK to bend with the wind sometimes. That's the nature of the dance. But it's not OK to bow over so far, so often, and so low, that you get worn down, weaken and snap. Learn how much to give, how much to take, and when to walk away.

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Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Five Most Important Things to Remember About Dating Women



Five Most Important Things to Remember About Dating Women




   Everyone does it. Not everyone loves it. Whether you enjoy dating or find it stressful and horrible, you know that if you are ever going to find the one person who can stop your dating life forever, you have to do it. Gentlemen, you simply have to date women if you are ever going to find the perfect one for you. So, here is some good advice for you. 

Successful dating can be broken down into the five most important things about dating women. They are:

Women are not guys.  They do not think it is fun to make noises by placing their hands under their armpits and acting like a winged creature. Even if they are drunk, they don't like this. Save this type of behavior for guy's night.

Women are not guys. They do not think it is cool to brag about your previous relationship conquests. They do not want to know about the ditzy blonde who had nothing to say but had the most amazing rack ever created. Nor do they think it is great to have their guy greeted by every woman in the place.Take your date to a different place just to be on the safe side and never, never, never mention your ex-girlfriend.

Women are not guys.  They do not like to see you show up at their door in your ratty old jeans with a cheap five-buck pizza in hand. Trust me on this one.  Maybe later  way later, like after the kids become teenagers  it will be okay for this kind of thing to happen. But for now, please, guys: take a shower, put on something nice like khakis and a pullover shirt, and have flowers in hand instead of greasy fast food.

Women are not guys.  They do not love it when their date pulls out buy-one-get-one-free coupons at the restaurant cash register. There is nothing wrong with a bargain, especially in these tough economic times, but use those freebies when you go out with your mom (who will love your thriftiness) or your best buddy (who wouldn't notice or care how you paid). Don't make your date think that she is not worth full price.

Women are not guys. They do not find burping and farting contests hilariously interesting and entertaining. Who can come up with most-silent-but-most-deadly one without any prior warning is nothing to be proud of, according to the female half of the population. Neither is it way cool to be able to belch out the melody to The Star-Spangled Banner. Again, save it for football night with the frat brothers.

Remembering the five most important things to remember about dating women will take you farther than anything else when it comes to having a great time on your dates. The five most important things to remember about dating women will also allow you to get more than one date with the same lady. There are lots of people who will offer you lots of advice about dating, and even some who will simply say, Be yourself. 

That is not terrible advice, but trust me, if being yourself includes any of the forbidden behavior in the five most important things to remember when dating women list, don't be yourself. Be better.  Remember these five most important things about dating women and have a better dating life.

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Monday, January 23, 2012

When Love Still Exists How to Win Ex Back



Do you want to win ex back?  If you had a close, loving relationship with a partner who later broke up hastily  with you, you may want to get back together. You have a lot of emotional investment in the relationship, and may not want to throw it away without an attempt to reignite the flame. Here's how to win ex back.

First of all, you need to analyze your own feelings.  Do you still care deeply about your ex?  Sometimes a great passion burns into being merely comfortable. You don't want to lose your ex because he is like an old slipper. But comfort doesn't make a great relationship. There has to be a great love. If you still have passionate feelings for your ex partner, you can move onto the next step of how to win ex back.

And that next step is examining how he feels about you. Does he have the same kind of grand love? If the problems in the relationship were things you can work on like communication, time management, goal awareness then you can win ex back. But, if the problem were deeper and he's no longer in love with you, you should start to move on now.

When you have determined that this was a grand love, you can start to work on the things that can bring you two back together.  For instance, think back to who you were when he fell in love with you.  Perhaps you weighed 10 pounds less, had a more optimistic outlook on life, were close to your girlfriends, or were involved in a variety of activities.

After you spend time with him, you begin to change. You spend less time with girlfriends or on your own activities as he  begins to demand more of your presence. You may have let yourself go because you feel secure in his affection.

If you want to win ex back, you need to go back to being the woman he fell in love with. Another tip to how to win ex back is to practice detachment. Don't call, text, or stalk your ex. You don't want to appear desperate. By  seeming to accept the situation, you actually become more desirable to your ex. 

In practicing detachment, you also begin to focus on what makes you happy. You get reconnected to friends and family. You take up hobbies and other things which interest you. You become a more positive person in general. This all helps in win ex back.

When you do get together with your ex from time to time, use the past to your advantage. For instance, if there was an outfit he really liked to see you in, wear it. If you eat at a restaurant where you had a good time with him, mention that you were there again.  Because you have many positive experiences with this guy, you can use your common history to win ex back.

From time to time, invite your ex to non-committal type events.  Ask him to join a group of your friends at a event or invite him to a party.  Let him know he's free to bring a date. 

Finally, if you want to win ex back, just be yourself. Either he's in love with you or he isn't. You can't change your ex,  You can only be yourself.

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Friday, January 20, 2012

Things I ve Learned from Women Who ve Dumped Me?

Things I ve Learned from Women Who ve Dumped Me



Okay, I'll admit, I've been dumped.  More than once.  More than I'd like to admit, actually.  And, while it hurt quite a bit each time, I have to say that I have grown tremendously  from the experiences.  So, here are some things I've learned from women who ve dumped me.

Things I've Learned from Women Who ve Dumped Me #1:
It takes two.

Often with the pain and heartbreak of a break up, it is easy to blame the other person for your misery.  But the truth is that if the relationship was no longer working, you were part of the problem.  Evaluate what went on so that you can apply the lessons to your next relationship.

Things I've Learned from Women Who ve Dumped Me #2: Give women their personal space.

Women like to cuddle and snuggle.  They may seem to always be around.  But they need their personal space too.  Men have a tendency to be possessive.  We want to keep tabs on there personal space, you send the message that you don't trust your partner. This can easily lead to the end of the relationship.

Things I've Learned from Women Who ve Dumped Me #3: You get stronger over time:)

When you wake up in the morning and the hurt's so real, you may believe that you will never get over the break up.  But the truth is that not only does time heal all pain, but you will emerge from the break up a stronger person.  As philosopher Frederick Nietzsche said, That which doesn't kill me only makes me stronger.

Things I've Learned from Women Who ve Dumped Me #4:  It's okay if it wasn't meant to be.

Coming to accept that a relationship wasn't meant to be is a key factor in healing. If you had started projecting your relationship into the future considering marriage, thinking about children and then the woman you were with broke everything off, consider it a blessing. It is better to end a relationship that wasn't meant to be earlier rather than later.

Things I've Learned from Women Who ve Dumped Me #5: Good things don't happen unless you make them happen.

Finally, the last lesson I want to share with you is that you can't control what happened, but you can control to how you react to what happened.  If you want good things to happen in the future, you have to make them happen.

That means getting back on TRACK.  Go out, meet new people. Have some fun.  Eventually, you will find another relationship.  And, if you have followed the advice in this article about things I've learned from women who ve dumped me, the relationship will be even better and stronger than the last one:)

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Romance 101 ?

Romance 101



Men, what woman doesn’t want to be treated to a little romance every once in a while? Many women will agree that romance is all about the details. Small gestures really do make a normal night out into something romantic. So listen up…because these tips will sure earn you some points…

The key to being romantic is thoughtfulness…so start being a little less selfish. Learn that mood, location, situation and ambiance can heighten romance with dramatic effect. Communicate with your partner on every level and anticipate their desires and needs. Look at your partner when they are talking and hold their gaze.

Try doing little things to get right at your partner’s soft spot. Phone just to say hello, I love you and give your partner a nice surprise. Send them notes and small cards telling them you are thinking of them. Be spontaneous and do little deeds that show you care. Bring home take out from their favorite restaurant or take them to their favorite ice cream shop. Flowers are always a nice touch at any time of year. Be creative and pick out their favorite colors and types for a personal touch.

Remember birthdays, anniversaries and landmark days such as the day you two first met or first kissed, and plan something…maybe a return to the first date location. Listen to clues that your partner might drop, such as their favorite dessert or books they like, and surprise them with little gifts.

Learn how to hug, cuddle and make physical contact. Dance together when the occasion arises. Hold hands and do anything to make your partner feel close to you.

Write her a letter and let her know that you love her and you mean it. Use nice stationary, or make your own card, which shows thought and inspiration.

In terms of dates, learn how to cook your partner’s favorite dish. Plan a surprise candlelit dinner followed by a romantic movie. Take your partner on a outing  to the park or beach and prepare in advance without involving them. This initiative is very romantic:)

For Your information on Romance 101:

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Thursday, January 19, 2012

I Lost Love Every Relationship Has a Time Line

Hey Doc, I read your posts on relationships and they are helping me. I want to thank you for taking out the time to help those of us, trying to get our relationship stuff together. Since, I'm getting a whole lot stronger I would like to share my story and maybe it will help someone out. Doc, please don't post my name, thanks.




 Why I Lost Love, 

In my case, my girlfriend and I were thinking about ratcheting up our relationship.  Her lease was about to end, and she wanted to move into my apartment.  As we were spending most of our time there anyway, it made sense from a financial perspective.

But there is something significant about having separate places.  I know I lost love because I couldn't handle her taking our relationship to this level.  I guess the time span of our relationship was up because I wasn't willing to become more committed.

Now, I know I handled the situation badly. I went to a friend,s bachelor party and let's just say things got out of hand. Word about the wild antics at the party got back to my girlfriend, naturally, and she dumped me.  I lost love over the events of one night.

But, when I think back on what really happened, the events of the bachelor party were really a reaction to our discussion of more commitment.  I seriously don't think I would have behaved the way I did if I really wanted her to move in.  I lost love because I wasn't ready for the direction it was taking. 

I'm glad I had the chance to be in a relationship with my ex.  But I don't think she was the love of my life, my soul mate.  Instead, she was someone with whom I genuinely enjoyed spending time.  I loved her.  I still love her.  But, she is not the person with whom I see spending the rest of my life.

I went through a period of mourning the relationship and analyzing what went wrong.  I really was hurt when she said she wanted to end things.  Sure, I understood that I had hurt her.  But, I didn't want her to leave my life completely.

I guess what I wanted was for things to continue on the way they were.  But, every relationship has to grow or die.  Because I wasn't willing to let it grow, it had to die.  In every relationship, there is a time to die.  And, for me, this was it.  That's how I lost love.


Dear, I Lost Love,

Reading you story the words of  Alfred Lord Tennyson's quote, Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all, comes to mind. I think it is important to remember that every relationship has a natural lifespan.  In Junior High, that's about four days.  As we get older, the lifespan increases.  But, there are certain relationships that are right for a period of time and then go awry.  Most of us will only have one great love in our lives.  The other relationships will terminate. I understand that this is a natural process, painful but yet a process. I do see that you have grown as a person and that's always a very good thing and do keep up the good works. You are now positioning yourself to become the Man of a Woman's Dream. Keep love alive in your life and grow on in a positive way.
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Wednesday, January 18, 2012

How Get Your Ex Back What To Do When Shes Dumped You

How Get Your Ex Back  What To Do When Shes Dumped You



How get your ex back?  This is the lament of every guy who has ever been dumped.  Did you know that in three quarters of break ups, it is the girl who calls the whole thing off?  Guys generally want to stay together with their girlfriends.  This article is about how to get ex back.

First of all, you have to determine whether she did you a favor by dumping you.  Too often, guys stick with girls out of inertia.  It is easier to stay in an okay relationship than go out and look for a really good one. If you don,t feel that the girl who dumped you was your soul mate, consider that her calling things off might be a blessing in disguise.

If this is not the case and you still want get your ex back, read on.

The next step is to determine whether she loves you.  Girls can be over sensitive.  They are much more likely to act impulsively and then have regrets about what they did.  If you think she still loves you, you have a good chance at how get your ex back.

In this case, you have to make her come to you.  Many guys call their ex's numerous times, send hundreds of texts, and exhibit other such stalker behavior.  This just pushes their girlfriends away.

Instead, seem like you are accepting of the break up.  Move on.  Date other girls.  By making her come back to you instead of the other way around, you will go about how get your ex back.

During this time, you should analyze whether you have changed from the man she first fell in love with. Often, guys try to impress girls up front. But, once they have slipped into a comfortable relationship with their girlfriend, they slag off.  For instance, are you still working out as often as you did?  Toward the end, were you still opening her car door, buying her flowers, and generally romancing her the way you did at the beginning of the relationship?  These things can make a big difference in how get your ex back.

When you do see your ex girlfriend, subtly remind her of your common bonds.  If you are going to go to a party where you know she,s going to be, wear a shirt she gave you.  If she has a favorite cologne, wear it.  And, when you talk, bring up the positive things in your past.  Don't beat her over the head with them, but make her nostalgic about your common history.

Invite her to non-committal type of events.  If a group of friends are going to the beach, ask her to come along.  Begin seeing her in social settings once again.  When she comes along, pay some attention to her, but spend your time with your friends also. When she sees that you are an attractive catch, you've already won half the battle of how get your ex back.

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Tuesday, January 17, 2012

Do Your Relationship need More Romance ?

Do Your Relationship need More Romance ? 
  

Whether your relationship is a new romance or one that has passed the test of time, there are probably days where you wonder how to keep the fires burning. As time passes, and you settle into a comfortable relationship, you may find it all too easy to relax and forget the ‘romance’. Suddenly you feel that something is missing.

Perhaps your spouse or partner has complained that the romance is missing from your relationship. Maybe YOU are the one who has noticed the change. And now, it is time to do something about it.
But, you aren’t sure what you are supposed to do!

The only thing you need is the desire to put romance in your life and to spend a little time and energy focusing on your relationship. Take the time to pay attention to your love life!
It may sound corny or trite, but putting some romance in your life will improve your relationship and ensure that your partner knows he or she is loved and valued.

If you invest a little energy in the process, you’ll find that soon you and your partner, spouse, fiance or new love will come up with new ways to surprise each other and take pleasure and interest in keeping the process going.

 What is important is that you try, and that you show that you care by your effort. Your partner will LOVE YOU for the effort and you will not feel inadequate in your expression of love:)

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Thursday, January 12, 2012

Can I Save My Marriage – Its Up To You

Can I Save My Marriage  Its Up To You



It is depressing to see many marriages that are in turmoil, and it is especially disconcerting to see them end up as messy divorces, so you may ask how can I save my marriage? Filing for divorce is not the solution for when a marriage has hit its pushing limits. There are a number of solutions that require that both partners to be fully committed in saving the relationship that they have.

 The first step is counseling, which enables the couple to have a mediator in dealing with their issues. In addition to professional services, there are a number of different things that can be done to save a marriage, it is not a complicated process and does not require much outside of both parties working towards the common goal. Below are four things that you can take to heart and utilize to "save your marriage" and improve the odds of successfully avoiding divorce.

First, know that the perfect marriage is a myth. Whenever two people are brought together, there will be problems, including the few that can grow into deal breakers in your marriage. This is a natural result of bringing two people together. Even perfect twins differ in likes and dislikes. For the marriage to succeed, the couple must learn to deal with the rough patches and overcome their problems.

 Seeking perfection will only destroy everything. People make mistakes, work with your partner and overcome the problems you face, and you'll realize it is possible to "save my marriage."

Second, good communication is vital, for when the communication is insufficient; the marriage is doomed to face problems. The most vital thing is to be honest with your partner. Just about every issue and problem can be solved if communication is maintained.

 The third tip is to accept compromise. Many have made this an art, with good reason. The middle ground that will enable a conclusion to the conflict has to mesh with both parties and their interests before it can "save my marriage." Marriage on a whole is about compromise and knowing that there are times when your spouse will have to give and times when you have to give in order to "save my marriage."

Really, a marriage is about commitment, the fourth tip. Like a car, if it breaks down, you don't abandon the car on the side of the road. The only time you do get rid of the car is when there is no hope. Saving your marriage involves the same level of commitment and working towards making things work, if you ever have a chance to "save my marriage."

Sometimes, the damage to the marriage totals it, and no matter what you do, nothing can change it. Some issues cannot be solved, counseling cannot help. It is in these cases that divorce makes sense. Out side of these cases, divorce is not the answer. Instead, you should work with your partner to solve the issues that plague your marriage, and hopefully you will be able to say that you can "save my marriage."

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Wednesday, January 4, 2012

How can You Tell If You Are In A Toxic Relationship??




How can You Tell If You Are In A Toxic Relationship??

  Here are some clues:

Your partner puts you down (verbally) in front of others. While your partner says they love you, their actions don't back it up.Your partner is controlling ,reading your mail or showing up at places you are at just to check up on you. Your partner tries to make you dependent on them. You have changed things about yourself to please them.

Toxic people make you feel ill just being around them. So, why would anyone end up in a toxic relationship?

Why would anyone want to be with someone who makes them feel emotionally or physically harmed?

A toxic relationship has a cycle. There's a honeymoon period, followed by a blow up, followed by a reconciliation at which point the cycle begins anew.

When you first meet a new partner, you are obviously in the honeymoon stage. It is not until they've sucked you in further that you realize that you are in a toxic relationship. At that point, it is difficult to get out
One reason is that many people in toxic relationships grow up in toxic homes. As a result, they replicate the patterns of their childhood without even knowing they're doing it.

And, they may not know any better. Others believe they do not deserve happiness. Still others find that they enjoy taking care of people.But the first step in getting out and staying out of toxic relationships is to realize that you do have choices. Often people who stay in these are couples have low self esteem or suffer from depression.

Once you realize that you have choices, the next step is to start standing up for yourself. In most toxic relationships, the toxic partner has taught you that it is all your fault( which its not). Once you buy into this, it can be very difficult to either walk away from the relationship or set new limits that can heal the relationship.

For some people, working in therapy groups can help them either get out of or redefine these horrible relationships. The good news is that some people are able to break the cycles of toxic relationships. Some of them leave the relationship and form new, healthier bonds. But others are actually able to repair their relationship and stay in it:

The truth is that most relationships are able to be salvaged. Sometimes it takes a little space. Other times, it takes counseling. But if both partners make an attempt, it is possible to renew the bonds in a healthy way
The first thing you need to decide is that the relationship must improve or you're willing to walk away.

If you aren't willing to walk away, you'll never be able to heal that which divides you.

Once you have liberated yourself from the dependency that is at the core of a toxic relationship, you can start to assert what you need from the connection. Don't nag the other person. Simply say I need your Support, I Need your Love, or I Need your Truthful Opinion.

If you don't get what you Need, the other person should know that you're prepared to Walk.

A Healthy Relationship is a two way street. In a toxic relationship, the street is only going one way. You have the Power to change that, but you must take the Power into your own Hands.