A blog from a Relationship Consultant. One that loves what he does and wants to share some of his learning experiences.
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Showing posts with label best way to get ex back. Show all posts
Showing posts with label best way to get ex back. Show all posts
Monday, May 12, 2014
Overcoming Depression
Overcoming Depression
It’s like a double whammy: your relationship is over, and depression sets in. Now, you’re alone and depressed a fact which makes you even more depressed and lonely. Trying to break the cycle of depression can be difficult: the very things that you need to do to escape your depression are often the most difficult.
How can you get out of the depression cycle?
Take one day at a time, and start small. Don’t set grandiose plans for yourself – make it through today. Once you accomplish that, set plans for the next day. When you've mastered the one day at a time philosophy you can start to look forward and gradually will find that you've left your depression in the past.
Surround yourself with supportive friends and family. When you’re depressed, you want to stay home, usually in a darkened room, alone. You need to understand that depression will trick you into thinking that there is nothing wrong with secluding yourself – don’t listen to it.
It can be painful and difficult to make yourself interact with other people, so choose people who you trust. Letting people know your struggle can be helpful and will give you a sounding board when times get tough.
Be happy is a cliche that makes depressed people even more depressed. There is an idea that you should be able to just snap out of depression – a false idea that only leads to more trouble. When negativity creeps in, you can’t just will it away – you need to replace it with positive thoughts.
Think about what you would say to a friend if they were in the same situation. Keep a log of your negative thoughts, and what led you to those thoughts. By tracking your negativity, you can start to avoid the triggers of negativity and replace the bad with good thoughts.
Stay healthy. Taking care of yourself is a key element of overcoming depression. Making sure that you get at least eight hours of sleep, eating healthy and regular meals, getting exercise are all important physical things that you can do that have a direct effect on your mental state. Need an instant boost of happiness? Go for a walk outside. Sunshine is a quick shot of joy that can help lift the weight of depression.
Do things that you enjoy. Was painting a source of joy before the end of your relationship? Dust off your paint brushes and easel and start to paint again. If you enjoyed cooking, invite a friend over and try out some new recipes.
Read a good book or watch a movie that you've wanted to see. It may not be easy at first to make yourself get back into the things you used to love, but eventually you’ll find yourself enjoying them again – sometimes before you even realize that the depression has gone.
Depression does not have to be a permanent way of life for you. Give yourself permission to be happy and to start moving past your old relationship. It may take time, but you will eventually move beyond the depression into happiness again.
Sunday, February 17, 2013
Proven Advice For Teens Dealing With Breakups
Proven Advice For Teens Dealing With Breakups
Teenagers and adults tend to handle things differently in certain situations, and dealing with breakups is absolutely no exception. Some of the greatest advice that can be offered to teenagers dealing with breakups can be found online, because there are teenagers all over the world that are learning the lessons of love the hard way, by losing the people they cared about to breakups.
If you are a teenager and you have been recently separated from your boyfriend or your girlfriend, then you are probably feeling heartbroken right now, which is simply expected no matter how old you are. Luckily, you have plenty of living ahead of you, and you will meet a surprising number of suitors in your life that are better suited for you. Everyone goes through love and loss, and while it is unpleasant to begin so young, you can and will move on from this moment of heartbreak.
Here is some basic advice for teens dealing with breakups and the associated heartbreak.
- Do not try to rekindle things with your ex right away. The best way to show your ex that you are worth getting back together with is to play it cool and let him or her think that you're doing just fine without them. Play it cool by acting like you're having fun and hanging out with people, and that you do not need your ex to enjoy yourself.
- The initial period of time that occurs after a breakup can be rough, and you might feel tempted to get back with your ex, but you need to let your emotions simmer first so as to come off as calm and cool rather than needy and desperate. If you act desperately, this will actually greatly diminish your ability to get things going with your ex again in the future.
- The best plan to follow is to stop constantly calling, texting and trying to see your ex. Move on, or at least facilitate the appearance that you are moving on. Play hard to get. Play it cool. Let your ex develop the needy and desperate feelings rather than exhibiting them yourself.
- Get out of the house and see other people. Spend time with friends, meet new people, and have fun. Let your ex see that you are having fun and getting along fine. Don't be afraid to flirt a little. This will work wonders for your self esteem and your hurt feelings, and will create a little bit of jealousy in your ex. Let your ex simmer for a while, and you will start looking much more attractive to him or her in no time at all.
However, a word of caution with this particular word of advice, for teens dealing with breakups; don't overdo the jealousy factor as it can easily backfire on you.
- Take things slow. Even if your intention is to get things going with your ex, the breakup is going to have created residual feelings of heartbreak, so you need to mend your heart before you strike up any relationship, ex or not.
To sum up this advice for teens dealing with breakups, use your common sense and keep your emotions under control. By doing so you will find that time will be your best friend as your heart heals :)
Dr. Pharms, PhD.
Saturday, March 3, 2012
Really How To Get Ex Girlfriend Back
Really How To Get Ex Girlfriend Back
How to get ex girlfriend back depends heavily on your situation. Did she leave you? Did you leave her? What was the reasoning for the breakup? Why was it that the romance ended? How did it come to be that this relationship ended?
If she left you the way how to get ex girlfriend back is to find out what it was about you that caused her to breakup with you. Did you treat her poorly in any way? Then it could be that you don't deserve her, unless you make some serious changes. Don't let the changes be superficial. Look closely at yourself and use this as a moment to really step back and see how you can improve the way you treat others.
What were the complaints that she had of you when she left you? Take a close look at those criticisms and ask others if there is any truth to what she said. How can you figure out how to get ex girlfriend back if you aren't willing to change what drove her away in the first place.
Did you leave her? If you made a mistake and let her go and now are trying to figure out how to get ex girlfriend back, then you just need to see how badly you hurt her. Find out if she is holding any resentment towards you because of what you did. It could be that she needs a little time away. If that is the case then let her have it. Don't be too far away but don't smother either.
You are going to have to convince her that you know you made a huge mistake and that you aren't going to do that again. The best way to do that is to give her the space and time to see for herself that you aren't just going to run off to the next one. She has to see that you are willing to stick it out. You made a mistake, you have to deal with the consequences which may mean you waiting for a long period of time. If she is really worth it then you will do it.
If the reason that you and your girlfriend broke up is because the relationship just dissolved then, when you talk to her, let her know that you really want to get back together but you want to work hard to make it happen. You will have to convince her that what you two had was really special and that you are willing to go and get relationship advice to make it work. If she feels that you really believe that it is worth working on and that you are willing to get help to make it work then she may need no more convincing.
The real way how to get ex girlfriend back is to just take a good, honest look at what happened to bring the love to an end. Look at the mistakes that the both of you made, especially yours, and do something about it. You can't do anything to change her but you can change yourself and when she sees that you are willing to do it you may have found how to get ex girlfriend back.
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Sunday, February 26, 2012
To Get Lover Back Show Some Tenderness
To Get Lover Back Show Some Tenderness
To get lover back you may have to try a little tenderness if the relationship ended with an explosion. Maybe the end of the marriage or the relationship resulted in a lot of hurt feelings and fights that resulted in some emotional pain. It could be there was something tragic that happened that caused the breakup. There may have been some wrong committed that caused humiliation for either party. Whatever the case, feelings were and probably still are hurt and if you want to get lover back, you will have to work gently and try to help heal the wounds that are there.
To get lover back you may have to take a close look at both yourself and them. There may be some things about you and the way that you are likely to handle the situation that could make matters worse. It could be things that you don't realize. There could also be some things that the one you love are struggling with that may have made them a little fragile. Even though they may not seem like big deals to you, for some reason they are to them.
Before you make any attempts at reconciliation, take a good look at yourself. It may mean that you have to go seek not only relationship advice but trying to get help on finding areas for improvement that you have. You have to be open to criticisms and accept that they may be right. You have to ask someone, What are the best things for me to work on so that I can get ex back? Be ready for any reaction you might get. Will it bother you to hear those things? Maybe, but it will do you good and will help you to get lover back. Take the advice seriously and learn to be more sensitive.
Whatever the person you love may be feeling, it is real to them. Understand that they have something that is deeply troubling them and come to them softly and tenderly. When they get upset, don't react. Fighting back or getting emotional won't do anything to help you get ex back. It will only drive you apart. You have to learn how to nurture them and help them heal. You will also have to give them the time and space that they need. The tenderest touch that someone can get isn't physical at all. It comes with a sense that you understand and that you are there for them.
There is a time for giving someone the raw truth but there is also a time for showing some tenderness and compassion. Know when those moments are and try to find the best way to act in them. True love will often require you to act and respond to things that don't seem natural to you. If the relationship is important, you will make those adjustments. Tenderness may not come to you naturally but one way or another, you will probably have to learn how if you want to get lover back.
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Saturday, February 25, 2012
How To Get Back My Ex When Im Devastated
How To Get Back My Ex When I'm Devastated
A breakup is a devastating event which can leave you emotionally wounded. You know that things can be made to work and you are now trying to figure out "how to get back my ex?" Breakups are not irreparable events which are the absolute end of things. There are things that you can learn and use to try an get your ex back, but it will take work and time. Here are five such things to know about.
First, you have to let go of all of the pain and move on. This is a difficult step, but you should instead try and think about the fact that letting go will bring them closer to you. This is not to say that you should shut everything out. You need to experience these feelings in order to move on, but you cannot spend too much time on them, otherwise you will hinder your own progress. Tell yourself that moving on is how to get my ex back and it will be easier to do so.
Once you have left the feelings behind you, you should figure out why it happened. What you should be thinking is that how to get back my ex involves knowing why we broke up. If there is a problem behind the breakup, then knowing of it will lead to fixing it. Once that happens, you can get them one step closer to being back with you.
An important step in the healing process is to extend each other a break. Separation is required in order to get back to a point where the two of you can move on and do what is needed to set things right. Those who spend time with no contact among each other are most likely to get past the breakup and get back together.
You should also spend the time to call upon the support of those around you. Ask others what they think in terms of "how to get back my ex?" This can include your parents, siblings, friends and more. Not only can these individuals provide support for you as you experience the emotional turmoil of a break up, but they can also act as your calm head, your sensibility, and they can mediate things between you and your ex.
Once you each have your support networks, you should come back together.A meet up is the final step in the process of getting back together. You should proceed slowly, first by emails and text messages. Keep your tone friendly, for any sign of moving forward too quickly can be detrimental. Enter into the meet up with a game plan, so that you do not get hurt. Prepare to suck it in and apologize for yourself, and not expect the same. The point is to rekindle the romance, and this is the step where you will see if it is possible to know "how to get back my ex." Following these steps will make for the best chance, but be prepared to accept staying separated.
For your information on How To Get Back My Ex When I'm Devastated:
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Friday, February 10, 2012
Does Conflict Affect Men More Relationship Psychology
Does Conflict Affect Men More Relationship Psychology
In trying to overcome conflicts in a relationship, psychology may help us understand why men and women react differently. If you are dating or in a marriage, there are going to be arguments from time to time. What can make things worse is if the two people's ways of dealing with conflict cause them to make things worse. Many marriages have turned to marriage counselors and those who aren't married will still seek out relationship advice. Most counseling will help you realize some things that may help each understand how the other party thinks.
There was a study funded by the National Institute of Mental Health which showed that most couples who had been together for only a couple of months between the ages of 18 and 21 avoided intimacy and being dependent on their other half. They also showed levels of anxiety concerning being rejected or abandoned. Those tested all exhibited different degrees of the anxiety over being abandoned. Of course those who were more secure in themselves had lower levels and others, depending on how they dealt with anxiety and thought about abandonment, reacted differently as well.
What was interesting in the testing was how differently the results were in both men and women. The ones researching relationship psychology using these subjects found that in their physiological reaction to relationship conflict, the reaction in men was more easily noticeable. Most of the reaction was increased anxiety for the majority of men while only those women who are the more avoid-ant types showed any real changes.
Women are more likely to want to guide a conversation in trying to resolve conflict in a relationship. Psychology shows them to be, in this situation, the ones actively working to get the situation resolved. While they were showing increased levels of cortisol ( stress hormones ) before and during the confrontation, the levels dropped significantly. They showed that getting the conflict over quickly was more physiologically satisfying.
Men, however, showed to be more passive in conflict resolution. While there was evidence that they, too, wanted the conflict to be resolved they weren't anxious to confront the conflict head on. Those men who had female partners who were more secure showed lower levels of anxiety. Women showed no change in their levels of anxiety whether their male counterpart was secure or not.
When you seek out relationship advice, whether you go to family therapy or psychologists, they are going to try to help you understand how men and women react differently. The above research on studying the effects of conflict in men and women will help you know why they react the way that they do in the relationship. Psychology and physiological research will help you deal with conflict better.
For your information on Does Conflict Affect Men More Relationship Psychology:
http://59492px3u9gygqfecdvihtusds.hop.clickbank.net/
In trying to overcome conflicts in a relationship, psychology may help us understand why men and women react differently. If you are dating or in a marriage, there are going to be arguments from time to time. What can make things worse is if the two people's ways of dealing with conflict cause them to make things worse. Many marriages have turned to marriage counselors and those who aren't married will still seek out relationship advice. Most counseling will help you realize some things that may help each understand how the other party thinks.
There was a study funded by the National Institute of Mental Health which showed that most couples who had been together for only a couple of months between the ages of 18 and 21 avoided intimacy and being dependent on their other half. They also showed levels of anxiety concerning being rejected or abandoned. Those tested all exhibited different degrees of the anxiety over being abandoned. Of course those who were more secure in themselves had lower levels and others, depending on how they dealt with anxiety and thought about abandonment, reacted differently as well.
What was interesting in the testing was how differently the results were in both men and women. The ones researching relationship psychology using these subjects found that in their physiological reaction to relationship conflict, the reaction in men was more easily noticeable. Most of the reaction was increased anxiety for the majority of men while only those women who are the more avoid-ant types showed any real changes.
Women are more likely to want to guide a conversation in trying to resolve conflict in a relationship. Psychology shows them to be, in this situation, the ones actively working to get the situation resolved. While they were showing increased levels of cortisol ( stress hormones ) before and during the confrontation, the levels dropped significantly. They showed that getting the conflict over quickly was more physiologically satisfying.
Men, however, showed to be more passive in conflict resolution. While there was evidence that they, too, wanted the conflict to be resolved they weren't anxious to confront the conflict head on. Those men who had female partners who were more secure showed lower levels of anxiety. Women showed no change in their levels of anxiety whether their male counterpart was secure or not.
When you seek out relationship advice, whether you go to family therapy or psychologists, they are going to try to help you understand how men and women react differently. The above research on studying the effects of conflict in men and women will help you know why they react the way that they do in the relationship. Psychology and physiological research will help you deal with conflict better.
For your information on Does Conflict Affect Men More Relationship Psychology:
http://59492px3u9gygqfecdvihtusds.hop.clickbank.net/
Thursday, February 9, 2012
Five Tips For Getting Your Ex-Girlfriend Back Without Losing Your Self Respect
Five Tips For Getting Your Ex-Girlfriend Back Without Losing Your Self Respect
Think you don't stand much chance of getting your ex girlfriend back without begging or apologizing for things you didn't even do? Don't feel bad; most guys react the same way in this situation. Nine chances out of ten, you're doing the exact opposite of what you should be and it's only making your ex glad she left.
Here's what you should be doing instead:
Stay calm!
You had a fight, you yelled at each other, she told you she never wants to see your face again and walked out. Once you start to really feel you've lost her, panic sets in. You end up calling her every day, sending one email after another, and basically turn into a stalker before you realize it.
No woman in her right mind is going to go back to a guy who's hunting her. Take a few days to collect your thoughts and then try a few times to contact her. If she doesn't respond, move on to the next step, which is¦
Talk to her friends! Not what you wanted to hear, I bet. Yeah, trying to impress her friends was hard enough when you were going out, but now that she's spent hours telling them what a jerk you are, how are you supposed to approach them?
Unfortunately, though, when it comes to getting your girlfriend back, these are exactly the people you need to be talking to because they have the most power to sway your ex. If you can explain your side of the story and at least get a little sympathy, the next time she mentions you, they're at least going to put in a good word for you.
Stay attractive!
Let's face it, a lot of us both men and women have a tendency to let ourselves go when we're feeling depressed. Maybe you wear the same shirt for three days in a row or put off getting a hair cut for a little too long. This is exactly what you shouldn't be doing. I know it's hard, but you no matter how bad you feel, take care of yourself. Eat right, get enough sleep, and don't skimp on personal hygiene. Not only will you feel better, you're ex girlfriend will see you as someone worth being with.
Be open!
Once you get a chance to talk to her, you have to know what to say. Part of that means explaining what you were thinking when you had the fight that almost the relationship.
This is a hard one, in reality though, you'll be better off admitting that you were stressed out from work, family problems, or whatever than trying to cover anything up.
Getting your ex girlfriend back doesn't have to be hard if you keep your self respect and tackle the problem head on. Stay calm and be honest about what caused the split and you'll be well on your way to reconciling with your lady.
For Your information on Five Tips For Getting Your Ex-Girlfriend Back Without Losing Your Self Respect:
http://59492px3u9gygqfecdvihtusds.hop.clickbank.net/
Think you don't stand much chance of getting your ex girlfriend back without begging or apologizing for things you didn't even do? Don't feel bad; most guys react the same way in this situation. Nine chances out of ten, you're doing the exact opposite of what you should be and it's only making your ex glad she left.
Here's what you should be doing instead:
Stay calm!
You had a fight, you yelled at each other, she told you she never wants to see your face again and walked out. Once you start to really feel you've lost her, panic sets in. You end up calling her every day, sending one email after another, and basically turn into a stalker before you realize it.
No woman in her right mind is going to go back to a guy who's hunting her. Take a few days to collect your thoughts and then try a few times to contact her. If she doesn't respond, move on to the next step, which is¦
Talk to her friends! Not what you wanted to hear, I bet. Yeah, trying to impress her friends was hard enough when you were going out, but now that she's spent hours telling them what a jerk you are, how are you supposed to approach them?
Unfortunately, though, when it comes to getting your girlfriend back, these are exactly the people you need to be talking to because they have the most power to sway your ex. If you can explain your side of the story and at least get a little sympathy, the next time she mentions you, they're at least going to put in a good word for you.
Stay attractive!
Let's face it, a lot of us both men and women have a tendency to let ourselves go when we're feeling depressed. Maybe you wear the same shirt for three days in a row or put off getting a hair cut for a little too long. This is exactly what you shouldn't be doing. I know it's hard, but you no matter how bad you feel, take care of yourself. Eat right, get enough sleep, and don't skimp on personal hygiene. Not only will you feel better, you're ex girlfriend will see you as someone worth being with.
Be open!
Once you get a chance to talk to her, you have to know what to say. Part of that means explaining what you were thinking when you had the fight that almost the relationship.
This is a hard one, in reality though, you'll be better off admitting that you were stressed out from work, family problems, or whatever than trying to cover anything up.
Getting your ex girlfriend back doesn't have to be hard if you keep your self respect and tackle the problem head on. Stay calm and be honest about what caused the split and you'll be well on your way to reconciling with your lady.
For Your information on Five Tips For Getting Your Ex-Girlfriend Back Without Losing Your Self Respect:
http://59492px3u9gygqfecdvihtusds.hop.clickbank.net/
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