A blog from a Relationship Consultant. One that loves what he does and wants to share some of his learning experiences.
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Showing posts with label Dealing With Break Up. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Dealing With Break Up. Show all posts
Thursday, April 19, 2012
To Get Back With Ex Face Up To Your Mistakes
To Get Back With Ex Face Up To Your Mistakes
To get back with ex after you've made mistakes, means you're no doubt going to have to face some hard home truths! As sure as eggs are eggs, making mistakes in relationships means you have to fix them and apologize for those mistakes before there can be any making up.
When you decide you want to get back with ex, you must be ready to face not only what has gone wrong with the relationship, but also your part in the break down of the relationship. If you made mistakes then don't beat yourself up for that. We all make them, it's what you do after the mistake that's important.
So sit down on your own and take some time to go through what happened and what were the issues that led up to what happened. Don't concern yourself too much with what you see as your ex's mistakes, leave that for the future. Only concern yourself right now with what you can influence.
Whatever mistakes you find in your past behavior, can they be forgiven? Don't be too eager to get down on yourself and believe that your mistakes are basically unforgivable. You would be surprised at the situations that couples find themselves in and that they later recover from. So don't think that your mistakes are beyond forgiveness. There is always hope!
Try and pin point what was happening in your life at the time that led you to make the mistakes, especially if it was completely out of character for you. Remember what I said about facing hard truths, if you want to get back with ex, then you need to do this.
You might discover that you were under certain stresses and strains. Perhaps you were under threat at your job? Or you weren't physically feeling yourself? Or perhaps there were other family issues. Whatever you find when you look back at what happened, you will eventually need to sit down with your ex and explain in detail just what you have found.
If your mistakes were the result of you just being thoughtless or selfish, then this is something about you and your character that can quite easily be fixed. It will take ongoing monitoring but if you are sincerely committed to get back with ex, then it is going to be worthwhile.
When you have come to the point where you have begun to gain perspective about your mistakes, then call your ex and arrange to meet. It is usually better to arrange a face to face meeting somewhere public and neutral because then there is less chance of either of you becoming emotional.
So, make sure that you stay calm and focused on what you want to say. Apologize and ask for forgiveness and then listen carefully to what your ex has to say.
Monday, March 19, 2012
My Boyfriend Dumped Me - Picking Myself Back Up
My Boyfriend Dumped Me - Picking Myself Back Up
I feel like dying because my boyfriend dumped me! It isn't the end of the world and it isn't even close. Even though it hurts, it isn't going to last forever. This is something that you can and will get over. It will take some work, some help, some readjusting in the way you think, and some time. Be sure that just because you are upset that my boyfriend dumped me doesn't mean that life stops, life goes on. Be ready for it.
Getting past the idea that my boyfriend dumped me isn't going to be easy but it also isn't going to be impossible. You are going to have to pick yourself up and dust yourself off and move along. The alternative means that you will be stuck wallowing in your own misery.That is no life that you want to have then do what it takes to get out of it. It takes work to climb back out of the pit but the work is worth it and so are you.
Don't be afraid to ask for help but be careful where it is that you ask for it. If you are battling depression because of it, seek professional help. This doesn't mean that you are going crazy, depression is something that many people deal with so don't worry about people judging you. Do try to beat it, though.
It may be, though, that you have good friends or family that can help you out while you are trying to deal with that fact that my boyfriend dumped me. Be careful to not lay too much on these people, though, and when you ask for advice, follow it. If you are constantly complaining about your life and the situation but aren't following up on what advice is given, they are going to reach a point that you don't want. They are going to get tired of you and cut you off or seriously consider it.
You should also re-frame the way you look at the situation. Try looking at it from a different angle or perspective. While you may see it as the end of the world, from another person's perspective, it may not be. Try to find that other person's perspective. Try to see what good it is that you have to offer someone. What are your best qualities? For sure there is going to be someone out there who will appreciate them. Wait for them to come along.
While you are waiting, find some way to improve yourself. Find something that you have long dreamed about doing and throw your life into it. If there is something non-romantic that you have longed to achieve in life, pursue it. Do you want to make yourself better in anyway, now is the time to do it. Try to find someway to use this time and that negative energy you have will disappear, do something positive with it.
The end result will be a happier you.Once you have found that happiness, it will become magnetic and draw in the person that you dream of, the one that makes you smile and makes you feel like you belong. It will make you look back on this dark time in your life when you were crying because my boyfriend dumped me and see it as one of the best things that ever happened to you.
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Tuesday, January 24, 2012
He Dumped Me How Will I Ever Survive
Dear Dr. Pharms, PhD. He Dumped Me How Will I Ever Survive !!!
Dear, He Dumped Me How Will I Ever Survive,
If you are saying "he dumped me. How will I ever survive?" The words in this article will give you comfort. It may help you to know that while you've broken up, you are not a broken person.
When you've been in the position that "he dumped me," you have two fears. The first is that you will never recover from the pain. The second is that no one will ever love you again.
Take heart, dear. The fear isn't real. The pain is real. But, the situation exists in your head, not in the real world. While one part of your life may be over, your life is not over.
You still have friends and family who care about you. In fact, you now have more time to spend with them. Many times, when you get into an involved romantic relationship, we lose touch with the other people who bring meaning to your life. You now have a chance to reconnect with them.
In fact, sharing your loss with them may encourage them to share their break up experiences with you. When you say, "he dumped me," that allows them to be vulnerable about how they've been hurt. You will begin to see that your pain is not unique. You will also be able to see that other people have lived full and complete lives after a break up.
In addition to having more time for others who you care about, you will have more time to work on the issues in your life. Many times, when you are in a relationship, the activities you care about get pushed aside if your partner isn't interested in them. This is a good time to get re-involved in the things that matter to you.
If no particular activity comes to mind, then maybe you need to get a hobby! No, really, when you say "he dumped me," what you tell yourself is that you are worthless and your not. When you take up a new activity and invest in yourself, you prove to yourself that you matter.
There are all kinds of activities you can get involved with. The best thing to do is to join a group, class, or workshop. For instance, joining a hiking club will let you meet lots of people who enjoy the great outdoors. A ballroom dancing class will introduce you to people who enjoy the finer things in life. A writer's workshop will be filled with creative types.
As you begin to re-engage with the world, you will lose the sense of desperation you felt when he dumped you. You will make new friends who share a common interest. And, you may even meet someone special to spend your time with.
The truth is that you will find someone to love you. Your soul mate is out there. Your ex may have done you a favor by breaking up with you because now you have a chance to find someone who fits you better.
And, always remember, the best revenge when "he dumped me" is moving and growing on in love.
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