How You Can Save Marriage By Creating Intimacy

How You Can Save Marriage By Creating Intimacy

When your marriage hits rocky waters you must firmly believe that you can save marriage in order to save the marriage.  If you don't believe that as fact, then there is nothing you do that will make a blind bit of difference. So right now, believe that it is possible for you to save the marriage. 

A common missing ingredient for marriages in trouble is a lack of intimacy.  For a marriage to be happy there must be a level of intimacy that goes beyond the physical and wholeheartedly embraces the emotional.  Ask yourself this, does my marriage suffer from a lack of intimacy?

Are you open and transparent with your spouse?  Do you share and include or do you exclude and keep your emotions and emotional needs locked away and try and deal with things on your own?  If you exclude your spouse emotionally, then your marriage lacks intimacy and it's time to inject some and get on the road to save marriage.

Make sure that you're making every attempt to share your problems and worries with your spouse.  Too often people find themselves worried and preoccupied with a situation. Instead of sharing this situation with their spouse, they decide to try and deal with it on their own.  This is a big mistake because it excludes your spouse when you should be including them.

Remember, spouses can very easily sense when something is wrong and if you exclude them, they quickly begin to feel shut out and redundant and that's when hurt can quickly find its way into a marriage.   

Another way to inject intimacy into your marriage so that you can save marriage is to make time for your marriage. In this day and age when a thousand and one things can encroach on your time, not making time for your marriage is a surefire way for a marriage to hit trouble. It's no fun discovering that when you were busy carving out a career or focusing your time on attending to the kids, that your marriage just shriveled up and died.

Make sure that if you want to save marriage that you're actively making time for your spouse and your marriage. Once in a while take an impromptu afternoon off and have some fun with your spouse.  When your spouse realizes that you value them to the extent of changing your schedule to include them, you will begin to see an improved difference in your marriage.

Creating and fostering intimacy in your marriage so that you can save marriage will take time and is an ongoing process. Don't ever make the mistake of allowing your marriage to be left set on auto-pilot.  A healthy and intimate marriage is one that is attended to regularly, only then will it thrive.

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Getting CPR For Marriage In Crisis

Getting CPR For Marriage In Crisis

A marriage in crisis is difficult to handle as it seems that what was once full of life is now suffering and on the brink of dying. When you are dating, new love seems to have a life of it's own. Everything being so new feels like a new life has begun has the two of you have started a new life together.

When you get married, it seems like everything just falls into place and everything makes sense. When times get tough, though, and and the marriage begins to struggle it can seem like the new life is starting to get old and may die out. If you aren't ready for your life together to die, your marriage in crisis may need to get C.P.R.

Get Counseling:

One of the most underutilized and overlooked opportunities for a marriage in crisis is getting marriage counseling. Marriage counseling will go a long ways towards helping you not only find resolution to your conflicts but will help the two of you find ways to grow closer together. Marriage counseling will help you be better able to understand each other.

Marriage counseling will also help you find better ways to express yourself in such a way that you don't come across as attacking each other. It could very well be, though, that one of you has some serious issues that is putting your love and relationship at risk. For those issues you may want to get therapy on your own. It may be hard to do because you will have to swallow your pride but if you are serious about saving the marriage in crisis, you will want and need to do this.

Get Perspective:

For a marriage in crisis, one of the most important thing that needs to be done is to get some perspective on what is happening. This is one area that a marriage counselor will be helpful because it will help you to look at things and situations from other perspective.

From where you are standing things may look pretty clear. However, once you are able to see from another angle, things that you couldn't understand before may make a lot of sense. Getting perspectives from other angles and vantage points will really be helpful in helping you fully understand what is happening so that you can then save the marriage in crisis.

Get Resolve:

Once you have been able to get some perspective on the crisis at hand and are getting counseling, you will have a lot of information and ideas to go off of. Those will help repair the damage that is done if you are able to act on it. Knowing is half the battle but no battle half fought was ever won.

If you see a drowning person and you not only know how to swim but know CPR and are trained in first aid, you may know everything you need to know to help save that person's life. Will that knowledge save them? Only if it is acted upon.

The same thing is true with your marriage.It just takes you acting upon it and getting resolved the issues that were killing your marriage. A marriage in crisis can only be saved if you act to make things better.

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How can You Tell If You Are In A Toxic Relationship??

How can You Tell If You Are In A Toxic Relationship??

  Here are some clues:

Your partner puts you down (verbally) in front of others. While your partner says they love you, their actions don't back it up.Your partner is controlling ,reading your mail or showing up at places you are at just to check up on you. Your partner tries to make you dependent on them. You have changed things about yourself to please them.

Toxic people make you feel ill just being around them. So, why would anyone end up in a toxic relationship?

Why would anyone want to be with someone who makes them feel emotionally or physically harmed?

A toxic relationship has a cycle. There's a honeymoon period, followed by a blow up, followed by a reconciliation at which point the cycle begins anew.

When you first meet a new partner, you are obviously in the honeymoon stage. It is not until they've sucked you in further that you realize that you are in a toxic relationship. At that point, it is difficult to get out
One reason is that many people in toxic relationships grow up in toxic homes. As a result, they replicate the patterns of their childhood without even knowing they're doing it.

And, they may not know any better. Others believe they do not deserve happiness. Still others find that they enjoy taking care of people.But the first step in getting out and staying out of toxic relationships is to realize that you do have choices. Often people who stay in these are couples have low self esteem or suffer from depression.

Once you realize that you have choices, the next step is to start standing up for yourself. In most toxic relationships, the toxic partner has taught you that it is all your fault( which its not). Once you buy into this, it can be very difficult to either walk away from the relationship or set new limits that can heal the relationship.

For some people, working in therapy groups can help them either get out of or redefine these horrible relationships. The good news is that some people are able to break the cycles of toxic relationships. Some of them leave the relationship and form new, healthier bonds. But others are actually able to repair their relationship and stay in it:

The truth is that most relationships are able to be salvaged. Sometimes it takes a little space. Other times, it takes counseling. But if both partners make an attempt, it is possible to renew the bonds in a healthy way
The first thing you need to decide is that the relationship must improve or you're willing to walk away.

If you aren't willing to walk away, you'll never be able to heal that which divides you.

Once you have liberated yourself from the dependency that is at the core of a toxic relationship, you can start to assert what you need from the connection. Don't nag the other person. Simply say I need your Support, I Need your Love, or I Need your Truthful Opinion.

If you don't get what you Need, the other person should know that you're prepared to Walk.

A Healthy Relationship is a two way street. In a toxic relationship, the street is only going one way. You have the Power to change that, but you must take the Power into your own Hands.