How To Overcome Communication Problems In Relationships

How To Overcome Communication Problems In Relationships


Communication problems in relationships are so common that no matter how great you and your sweetie get along, you’re bound to run into some miscommunication somewhere along the line. The good news is, with the right approach, these problems usually aren’t too hard to solve.

Bridge the gender divide!

Men and women approach relationships in distinctly different ways. Without and open mind, it’s all too easy to write the opposite gender off as “illogical” or even start thinking of their differences as childish or petty. The fact is neither gender is perfectly logical. Taking some time to learn about exactly how the opposite gender looks at love matters can help you avoid a lot of problems in relationships.

Listen thoughtfully!

Don’t forget that you’re one half of the communication problem. When you’ve been together for a while, you might start to think you know what your partner is going to say. Unless you have ESP, though, you’ll get a lot farther by actually hearing your partner out. When sweetie tells you something, restate what they said to make sure you understood correctly and let them know you heard.

Release the need for blame!

When one of you has a problem, the relationship has a problem and it’s in both your best interests to work it out peacefully. Instead of going around in circles trying to decide whose fault it is, focus on how you’re going to solve it. Likewise, try to avoid blaming your partner for your overall mood. 

Stick to the facts!

When trying to talk over problems in relationships, don’t bring up any thing you can’t prove. Instead, stay with what can’t be argued like your own feelings and what your partner already agrees they do. For example, saying “You disrespected me in front of my friends.” can be argued because standards of respect differ. On the other hand, saying “I was embarrassed when you told Dave you don’t think I should ask for a raise.” is not only unarguable, but also gets your point across more clearly. 

Be frank, but kind!

You’re not doing anyone any favors by taking a “put up and shut up” attitude to problems in relationships. All you end up doing is allowing wounds to fester and they can eventually reach the point where they’ll never heal at all. Instead, speak your mind when you have a problem, but do so with gentleness, kindness, and respect. Remember, your partner probably isn’t trying to hurt or annoy you and may be pretty upset to hear you’re unhappy.

Be a friend, not a coach!

Chances are, your partner isn’t with you because they’re hoping you can correct all their bad habits and personality flaws. You’re not their parent, teacher, coach, or boss. You’re their friend, lover and mate.

You may think you’re giving constructive criticism, but your partner might think your love or respect for them has diminished because of this one little flaw they have. Instead of criticizing, encourage improvement by giving your partner some positive feedback when they do something you really like.

There, that doesn’t sound too hard, does it? These techniques may be simple, but they really do work to solve communication problems in relationships. Give them a try.

How Can You Tell When You Have Found The Right Person?

 How Can You Tell When You Have Found The Right Person?



Love is such a wonderful thing that when shared by two people, the feelings become mutual and the gratifications achieved. All of these are established during the start of dating.

Dating becomes the primary selection ground for people who wish to end up with somebody they can grow old with. It provides them the means to find the right person whom they can share their sentiments, their feelings, problems, etc.

Normally, the stages of dating illustrate continuous experiences. As the couple proceeds on the next level, they get to know another chapter in their mate’s life.

However, even if it seems that two people are already mutual with regards to their feelings, there are instances that one of them would ask if their mate is the right person for them. They can feel that they are happy as of the moment but when the concept of finding the right person sinks in; a lot of questions take place.

 Even if everything seems to be in perfect condition and that dates are always pleasurable and gratifying, no one can be sure if his or her mate is the right person unless he or she will make extra effort to analyze the situation and the person he or she is currently involved with.

So, for people who wish to know if the person they are dating right now is the right person or if what they are doing is right or wrong, here are some tips on how to identify the real score of the person they are dealing with.

1. It would be better for an individual to assess his or her feelings about the other person.

In order to know if an individual has already found the right person, it is best to assess their feelings towards the other person.

For example, an individual should try to identify the other person’s qualities. These qualities that can usually be seen everyday with the person would mean that these are the same qualities that the concerned individual has to deal with.

Hence, it would be better to assess if the concerned individual likes what he or she is seeing or if they can tolerate the personality of the other person.

In the event that the other person has some qualities that are not that desirable, it would be better for the individual to be sure of their feelings about the unlikely behavior. If they think that they can withstand and endure those things even if it will not change, chances are, they have found the right person.

The other person may not literally be righteous but the fact that the concerned individual can accept whatever the other person is, then, it must be love.

2. If the concerned person will get to accept the other person’s faults or shortcomings not because of some hopes that someday he or she will change, then, it must be the right person.

One should realize that accepting somebody should never be conditional. This means that when a person accepts someone who has qualities not included in his or her concept of an ideal mate, he or she should not pose some conditions or expects something regarding future changes.
Because if this is the basis of acceptance, chances are, the concerned individual will only be disappointed in the future and will only make matters worst.

3. If there are no obstacles that will in time kill the flame of love, then, it must be the right person.

If in the event that an individual finds somebody and they feel that the relationship is finally the real thing, it would still be better to assess if there will be no more impediments that would curb the growth of a wonderful relationship.

This simply means that the person should be sure that there will be no elements or factors that will trigger some problems on their relationship in the future like vices, addiction, family problems, previous relationships, etc.

If the coast is clear, then, the concerned person had finally found his or her right mate and that in time the relationship will flourish and be successful.

All of these things are boiled down to the fact that love is not 100% perfect. People should realize that there are no such things as perfect people. As humans, people are susceptible to mistakes, imperfections, flaws, and whatever weaknesses man is destined to entail in his or her personality.

So, the best thing to use when identifying the right person is careful analysis of the individual as a whole and not just the physical attributes where substantial attraction is usually based from.

Do Women Like Alpha Males?



Do Women Like Alpha Males?


Alpha is the first letter of the Greek alphabet. In astronomy, it is the brightest star in a constellation. In common parlance, alpha means to be the first.

Alpha males are guys who seem to be leading the pack, the hunter, the ever-reliable male good guy. They are all around us, in the ranks of burly blue collar workers to the impeccable corporate leaders. So why do women like alpha males; or do they?

Women do not only like alpha males; they adore them! Alpha males are the stuff that women's romantic imaginations are of. These are men who get women's attention wherever they go.

The attraction lies in the power seemingly possessed by alpha males. It's not really just about the money but it is about strength in character and the ability to be respected by his peers.

A woman defines an alpha male as someone who is vocal about what he wants and who does everything to get it. An alpha male is not cocky or loud, but there is a semblance of authority in his voice that seems to attract others, male or female. An alpha male is filled with confidence about his looks though he may not be handsome and is confident about his intelligence though he may not be a Wharton graduate.

In the animal kingdom the alpha males are those who lead the pack with an aggressive behavior. The animals have their own social structure where the alpha or the dominant males get to mate with the females, with the principle that the alpha males will most probably produce better offspring's. Same goes for the alpha males in the society of humans.

Women describe alpha males as those with an innate superiority and who literally leads the pack. These are males who are aggressive and assertive despite their limitations.

To be able to understand an alpha male, one has to get to know his characteristics such as but not limited to being:

Born leaders

Alpha males are born to lead the pack. They are known to be the peacemakers and the ones responsible for stopping fights after and aggression usually started off by a bully. These men are usually dignified men who have leadership capabilities and they sometimes rule their world. An alpha male is a no nonsense leader who cannot be dictated upon and who stands by his principles.

Gandhi is an alpha male. He is a charismatic leader who refused to be pressured into giving up his cause. He was able to win his battle by espousing non-violence. Microsoft Bill Gates is an example of an alpha male who continues to change the world and its people. There are many alpha males in a variety of settings, all of whom have provided inspiration and great leadership to their sectors. Most alpha males are attracted and married to strong and outstanding women.

Confident

Alpha males are so sure of themselves but not to point of being cocky. They have high self esteem, believing that they have the power to do anything they want and to achieve their dreams. They know they have that special something within them but they do not gloat nor talk about their strength.

Women are attracted to the alpha's because of the confidence that emanates from them. This confidence manifests itself in the way he carries himself and the way he deals with others. This confidence is shown in the way he does things and treats other people. The alpha male's high self esteem makes him confident that he can get the best woman in town. The truth is, women usually flock around him.

Assertive

Being confident of himself and in what he can achieve, the alpha male is always assertive but not to the point of being pushy. He knows what he wants and how to get it. He asserts his rights and the rights of his friends. This may be the reason why alpha males are so popular with the pack. He leads them and gives them protection. Women love the alpha male for being assertive, of being able to know he can do it and doing something to achieve what he wants to do.

Born leaders, confident and assertive. These are the qualities that make women swoon over the alpha male. Need I say more?

Is There Hope To Save A Marriage

Is There Hope To Save A Marriage


With divorce as common as it is these days, it's easy to understand why so many with marital troubles start to wonder, Is there hope to save a marriage once it really hits the skids? Is there really no turning back? 

The good news is that there are realistic reasons to believe that you can bring your marriage back from the brink of divorce. Not only that, but you can use the opportunity to build an even closer and richer relationship than you had before. So the answer to the question, Is there hope to save a marriage? is definitely Yes!

Second chances work!

In the late 1980's, the National Survey of Families and Households in the US tracked 645 spouses who rated their marriages as unhappy. The survey found that those who agreed to put off divorce and give the marriage a second chance rated their marriage as happy five years later. Sometimes it's just a matter of taking a deep breath and agreeing to invest some time in working through your problems.

Where's the love?

Marriage counselors rely on the fact that no matter how much some couples argue, most still have a basic respect and concern for each other. After all, unless you're in an arranged marriage, you chose your partner because you saw a good amount of positive qualities in them.
 Those qualities are still there, even though you might not see them as clearly today or other less appetizing personality traits have cropped up in front of them. If you can remember the good times, you stand a good chance of reviving the positive feelings you had for each other and using those as a springboard for making up.

You can change things by yourself!

One of the biggest misconceptions about rescuing a marriage is that both sides have to want to save it. While it's true that both sides have to give up the idea of divorce eventually, one spouse alone can still take steps to turn things around and buy a little time while the other reconsiders. The reason is that if you change your approach to your spouse, they'll naturally change their behavior, too, and you start a positive cycle of improvement.

Right advice helps!

The trouble with relying on your own judgment alone to make up with your spouse is that you're too close to the problem. To make matters worse, this is such an emotionally charged issue that even the most stable, logical person can easily  overreact. That's why having input from a knowledgeable, neutral third party is so invaluable. A marriage counselor is the obvious choice, but if you can't afford one or your partner refuses to go, there are other sources of advice such as the marriage self-help e books available online or at your local bookstore.

Before you start thinking the only answer to the question, Is there hope to save a marriage? is No, take a deep breath and look at the realities. If you can get your spouse to agree to work out your problems together, you stand an excellent chance of avoiding divorce. Even if you,re the only one who wants to stay together, though, you can still turn things around just by changing your own behavior.

Get a Man To Marry You

 

 Get a Man To Marry You

 Using an ultimatum to get that sought after wedding ring is like committing relationship suicide. If you feel the need to present your boyfriend with an ultimatum concerning your relationship, it MUST be authentic!

 

What it means: When it comes to women who so badly want to be engaged to their boyfriend, ultimatums are a commonplace. The waiting game drives desperation (especially if she has been waiting for more than a year or two to get engaged) and desperation can lead to threats!

 

Yes, ultimatum is just a fancy word for "threat".  Women who throw marriage ultimatums at their boyfriends obviously don't realize that this kind of pressure and "all or nothing" attitude commonly results in the demise of the relationship.

 

When is an ultimatum acceptable?

 Only when you are ready to deal with the truth and act on the response! If you give your boyfriend a "now or never" lecture, you best be prepared to pack your bags and leave if he comes back with a "never" response. Staying in a relationship after he says "never" will only result in your losing all credibility and leverage in the relationship.

 

Bottom Line: Only give an ultimatum if you're ready to hear the truth and are willing to act on it, whatever the response may be. 

 

NOTE: Here's a much better way to get him to pop the question WITHOUT using threats and dangerous ultimatums."

Is There A Secret To Relationships

Is There A Secret To Relationships


 If there were a magic secret to relationships, someone would have already bottled it and made millions of dollars. But there are several ways to make your relationship strong and give it the best chance of lasting a lifetime. Most of them are common sense and some are just reminders of when the relationship was new. None of them is really a secret.

 Love. It's not enough to love your partner, but you have to show them that you love them often. You should never be in a relationship if you don't feel genuine love for someone, and feel comfortable expressing it.

Respect. If you don't respect the person you're with, there's little hope for the relationship. If you laugh at your partner, feel he or she is often a joke, dumb or worthy of some kind of scorn, then what's the point?

 Kindness. Treat your partner with kindness always. A secret to relationships is to be as courteous when you're alone and not feeling thrilled at that moment as you would with a stranger on the street.

Thoughtfulness. Put your partner's needs and desires at the top of your list. Little gestures are often some of the most powerful.

 Honesty. Lies can ruin a relationship quickly, even if they're lies about nothing important. Don't do anything deceptive and you'll never have to lie in the first place.

 All of those are important to a relationship and may be called the secret to relationships. But you really need all of them for a good relationship, and they're things everyone already knows. The hard part can be figuring out how to express some of them.

 Honest is pretty easy to show. Simply be open and honest during conversations. Don't be afraid to let your partner see your true self, especially when you feel scared, sad, lonely or vulnerable. Showing respect and showing kindness can go hand in hand. By treating your partner with respect, you show that you support them. You'll back them up in their ideas and actions because you respect and believe in them. Even when you don't necessarily feel they're doing the right thing, you can respect their decision and be kind in your words about it.

 Disagreeing pleasantly is a so-called secret to relationships. Thoughtfulness and love can be expressed hand in hand, too. Telling your partner that you love them is one way to express love. But maybe they will feel more loved when you reach out and rub there shoulders for a minute as you pass. Or you balance the checkbook so they didn't have to do it.

 People perceive love differently. If you can find what your partner perceives as the most loving thing then do that. You're expressing your love perfectly for that person. And you're being thoughtful, too. You're thinking of that person and trying to make them happy. If you combine these things and apply them, then you've found the secret to relationships that can make your partnership a happy one.

Are Those Are You Really In Love Quizzes Really Accurate

Are Those Are You Really In Love Quizzes Really Accurate

Are you really in love? Quizzes can help you find out, but you have to make sure you take the right ones. Take one of those short little tests you find in popular magazines and you'll probably just end up even more confused than you were before. Before you make that mistake, here are some guidelines for finding a good quiz.

What the Quiz Can Tell You

Most of the time, it's hard to go wrong with trusting your gut instincts. For instance, if you feel like you're in danger, it's nearly always a good idea to get out of the situation even if there's no obvious sign of danger.

Well, the problem here is that both love and infatuation are such powerful emotions they cloud your ability to tell which is which (Yeah, like you really need me to tell you that). Sometimes, you just can't trust your instincts to lead you to a good relationship.

By asking questions that help separate feelings that could lead to deep, long-lasting love from those that will disappear. Are you really in love quizzes keep you from wasting energy on mere infatuation or lust. Even more importantly, they then help you from getting sucked into what could be a very unpleasant, messy romantic entanglement.

What the Quiz Should Ask You

If you actually want to get some real benefits from taking one of the are you really in love quizzes available, you need to know how to sort the accurate ones from the useless ones. Usually, just glancing through the questions will give you a good idea of how accurate the quiz will be. This is usually easy enough to tell by glancing at the questions. The quiz should be asking such things as whether you are willing to share your deepest secrets with this person or is he/she in the top 5 of the people you respect above all others.

It should also include questions that help you separate initial infatuation that could bloom into a deeper, true love from feelings that aren't likely to lead to anything serious. The test should ask how your love makes you feel about yourself, what emotions characterize your relationship, and how much you sacrifice for your partner. Questions like these zero in on common differences between love, infatuation, and lust.

Where to Find Quality Quizzes

As I mentioned above, popular magazines really aren't the best places to find quizzes. The problem is, unless the writer's bio is included, you can't be sure the person who created the quiz is a true expert on relationships or not. That's why it's better to look for quizzes in books and Web sites written by credible relationship experts.

Taking a few well designed quizzes can give you a lot of insight into whether or not your relationship has any real future. Finding out early on if your relationship is on the wrong track can save you a lot of stress and heartache in the long run. Just make sure you get your quiz from a credible source, be completely honest in your answers, and read the results of are you really in love quizzes with an open mind.

Understanding The Wife Husband Relationship

 Understanding The Wife Husband Relationship


The wife husband relationship can be a complicated one. Many marriages fail because one or both partners don't really understand the dynamic of the relationship. If even one person has a basic understanding of it, the marriage is bound to be stronger. But if both people understand how a wife husband relationship works, then it has the best chance of being a good marriage.

One of the keys to understanding the wife husband relationship is to realize just how different men and women really are. Aside from the obvious physical differences, the sexes are different emotionally and mentally, too.

When faced with a problem, for instance, men and women tend to approach it from completely different angles. Women are more likely to discuss it with other people. They might get advice and input from a few friends. It's not uncommon for women to talk about the problem at length.

That's because women solve problems when they talk about them. They explore all the angles of the issue and how they feel about it, and often in doing so a solution appears.

Men, on the other hand, tend to be more tight-lipped about problems. They think about it more than they talk about it. It's more common for a man to ponder a problem and say little until he's figured out the solution.

In the wife husband relationship this difference in problem solving can itself be a problem. He might think that she's talking it to death when she should be trying to figure it out herself. And she might think he's not even worried about something because he's not talking about it. When in reality, it's on his mind all the time and he's just not pointing it out.

Sometimes, women tend to talk about things that they don't necessarily want help with, or advice about. They simply want someone to listen to their opinion and thoughts. Where if a man is talking about something, it's because he wants an answer.

If a woman is talking about something just to get it off her chest or vent, other women tend to get that and offer support. They don't try to tell her what to do for the most part, but simply join in the conversation in empathy.

A man might simply state a solution and tell the woman what she should do, thinking he's being very helpful and doing what he's supposed to. But in reality, the woman will feel that he's not listening and instead just trying to end the conversation.

Of course, not every wife husband relationship will happen exactly like these examples. Some men will talk out a problem and some women will be tight-lipped about it. But in general, the sexes can be expected to follow these typically patterns.

Understanding those patterns can help you stop yourself before you do something that's natural to you. You can think about what your partner needs from you instead, and do that .Your wife husband relationship will be much stronger and happier because of it.

How To Increase Chemistry In Relationships

 

How To Increase Chemistry In Relationships

Think chemistry in relationships is something that “just happens?” If you do, the truth might surprise you. Sure, you probably can’t create chemistry where none exists, but if that initial spark is there, there’s plenty you can do to fan the flames.

Understand what chemistry is!

If you’ve never really felt strong chemistry with another person, it can be hard to get an idea of what it is. What most people call chemistry is a sense that the two of you are just meant to be together. You’re both perfectly at ease with each other and have a strong physical attraction for each other. While it might have something to do with looks and pheromones, most of it is mental. It comes from you and your sweetie having the same beliefs, dreams, and maybe even habits and pet peeves.

Develop a rapport!

Before you can build up any chemistry, you need to have a good rapport first. If you’ve only seen each other for one or two dates, that rapport may not quite be there yet. To create it, look for a conversation topic you can really bond over. Just make sure it’s something pleasant and low-stress, though. You may discover you both love discussing ways to end famine in Africa, but that subject doesn’t help your partner associate you with pleasure and fun.

Use humor!

Laughter is not only fun, it also makes us feel at ease with another person. You don’t have to be a professional comedian. Even an attempt at humor in your own style can work. Just keep it clean and neutral so you don’t offend your date right off the bat.

Adrenaline is your friend!

Studies have shown that couples who met in an exciting situation—whether pleasurable or not—tend to find each other more attractive. More so than couples who met under normal circumstances. It works because the mind associates any excitement with the person we’re with at the time and mistakes it for physical attraction. Make use of this by planning a date that will get the adrenaline pumping like a scary movie, a roller coaster ride, or even whitewater rafting.

Express yourself!

You can’t have chemistry in relationships with people who don’t know the real you. Instead of keeping your opinions to yourself in hopes of hiding anything your partner might not like about you, make it a point to share your thoughts and feelings about important issues. Sometimes just a single off-hand comment can make your date fall for you hard.

Enhance the physical!

Some tips for how to increase chemistry in relationships will tell you to touch your date on the knee or arm early on. You want to be careful with that, though. Get physical too early on and you could just end up turning your partner off. Instead, start by just talking about what physical features you each find most attractive in the opposite sex and then using the info you gain to your advantage.

Chemistry in relationships may be mysterious and hard to control, but that doesn’t mean you can’t help it along a little. Make sure you start with a good rapport, throw in a little humor and excitement and you’ll be off to a good start.

The Best Spouse Relationships

The Best Spouse Relationships

The best spouse relationships are based on love and respect. That goes without saying, doesn't it? Everyone probably realizes that love and respect are crucial to having a good marriage. But beyond love and respect there are a few things that can help spouse relationships.

Think back to when you were first married. If you're newly married, think back to when you first met and were dating. How did you treat your partner?  You probably treated your partner with respect, but also with kindness and thoughtfulness.

Unfortunately, it's common that the longer we know someone, the less kind we tend to be toward them. One would think that the opposite holds true. But we start to take the other person for granted and think they'll always be there, no matter what.

Think of the last time you went to the bank or grocery store and spoke to the cashier. Maybe you exchanged words with a stranger. How was the tone of your voice and your words?

You probably sounded like the sweetest person on the planet. That person might have thought how polite when you walked away.

Now think to the words and the tone of the voice you use with your spouse sometimes. When you get angry or you're unhappy about something, think about how you sound.

 Would you ever speak that way to a stranger?  If you're thinking probably not then you've started taking advantage of your spouse.

People do it with close friends, parents and children, too. If we could record people's conversations and play them back at a different time, people might be ashamed of how they sounded.

 And they probably wouldn't speak that way to someone they didn't know well for fear of hurting their feelings!

Good spouse relationships are kind ones. Everyone gets angry now and then. And yes, everyone says things he or she regrets in an angry and even hateful tone of voice.  But you can keep these instances to a minimum by just thinking about whether you'd talk to your postman or your boss that way.

Thoughtfulness is also an important factor in good spouse relationships. People love their spouses, but it seems the longer they're together, the less they sometimes show it. Your spouse is the one person you should make a point of being thoughtful towards, always.

In the beginning when you're first dating someone or first married, you might send (or receive) flowers, cards and little surprises. Generally after people are married for a while, these sorts of things slow down or stop. Why ?

 Remembering to be thoughtful and surprise your spouse can help makes yours one of the better spouse relationships. Try to keep in mind that marriage isn't written in stone. There really are other opportunities out there for your spouse. Bring back some of the things you did and said when you were trying to win this person.

 Be kind and thoughtful as much as you can. Those combined with love and respect will make yours one of the enduring spouse relationships of a life time.