Steps to Potent Passion

Steps to Potent Passion  

Couples seek ways to fire up their lives. Often the word passion denotes a focus on the bedroom. Passion means more than strictly a physical connection. 

Passion builds an existing connection. Couples without connection rarely create the heat necessary to spark deep and lasting passion. Taking the small steps permit couples to move toward greater passion and find the right spot to light the fire they need.

Changes Are Key

Routine allows couples to possess a sense of continuity in their relationship. A fine line exists between comfort and staleness. Couples who experience the same things repeatedly have tendency fall closer to complacency. They sense everything is fine and will always be that way.

This makes throwing a little variety critical to ignite passion. Step one is making a change, any change, and see where things go. Some ways to shake things up can include planning an event with a small amount of direct interaction like a concert. Travel provides an easy way to change things up by drastically altering the surroundings, entertainment options and local cuisine making passion a pleasurable byproduct.

Take More Risks

Couples looking to fire things up must do more than just change things. Making an effort by expanding their horizons offers an opening for passion to enter. Risks come in several stripes. What may sound daring to one partner may be dipping a toe in the pool for another. 

Talking about what to do, how risky to be and getting comfortable with the expectations assures both people will not be uncomfortable when the time comes to jump in the water. 

One should never force their partner into things they do not want to do because nothing stifles passion like an unwilling participant. Let's look at some guidelines for stretching the boundaries.

* Make It New for Both of You: No one should be an expert because it allow growth and comfort for both of you.
* Be Open: Saying yes, even with the possibility of appearing foolish, will generate a thrill leading to enriching passion.
* Laugh About the Mistakes: Doing something risky means things might not go perfectly and laughing about the foibles free everyone up to do it again.

Contact Is Critical

Passion grows best in an environment where every level of relational contact is present. Couples who communicate well, trust one another and connect find passion in almost everything they do. They relish the new things they experience while enjoying tasks other may find mundane.

Physical contact is more than merely sexual contact. Hand holding can occur in the grocery store or after an mud run where both people are filthy and tired. Simple touching can grow to more intimate contact. Stolen kisses linger for longer and longer making skin warm to match beating hearts.

More important than mere physical contact is a meeting of a couple's hearts. Hearts united and open will give each person the freedom they need to share the deepest longings, desires and truths. In the cauldron of deep love, passion blazes bright. Couples are able to maintain a passion like this because of the trust they have in each other.

Passion proves best when maintained and grown over time. Phases of life exist where passion flees. Often outside circumstances rob couples of their passion. 

One of the saddest days occur when a couple surrenders their passion thinking it has been lost forever when all they need is a little time and care. Take the steps necessary and jealously guard the passion between you because it is priceless.

Speaking to a Partner's Love Language

Speaking to a Partner's Love Language 

Gary Chapman, in his best selling book, outlined the concept of love languages. He broke them down in general categories and posited everyone has a particular language to which they respond. Most people give in a language they desire. Unfortunately, being paired with someone possessing an identical love language is quite rare. More often than not, a partner needs something requiring sacrifice and practice to speak to them in a ways they truly value. This makes understanding all the love languages critical for open communication and deepen intimacy.

Gifts

In some ways, this seems like the simplest love language because one buys something for their partner and it is done. Those who respond to this language do not point to the gift itself. The gift represents everything else involved. Things like time, attention and effort all meld to elevate the item from a "gift" to a representation of the the other's heart. In a gift card obsessed culture where no one wants to get the "wrong" thing, a thoughtful, specific item speaking directly to a partner's interests goes a long way to bring two people closer together.

Time

For this group, the presence of the one they care about can be enough. Think of a cold day when the wind blows and sleet hits the windows. Sitting next to a fire and having one's partner there warms more than the body. It warms the heart. Too often, a person can get too focused on doing things or providing an experience. Those with the love language of time only want to know they matter enough to be with.

Words

Words trip people up as society moves ever farther from a place where words hold sway. Take all sorts of social media with their emojis or pictures substituted for a well timed word. People who need words do not seek eloquence. They only want to hear the truth about themselves from their partner's heart. It can take the form of a poem, a song or a simple whispered "I love you" followed by a pet name. Because of this, they feel seen and heard by the one they love. 

Service

This sounds really big as a love language complete with grand gestures or arduous tasks. The simplest way to understand this is think of the worst household chore. It varies, but everyone has one. Now, imagine arriving home with the task completed unexpectedly. Service is doing things for the partner they may always have to do or put off doing. This lightens their burden. But deeper than merely doing a chore for them, the partner sees how the rest of their work is acknowledged and seen.

Touch

Before this turns to more adult topics, because almost no one can resist those touches, this love language centers on more G and PG touching. Holding hands, snuggling on the couch and a good old fashioned hug passes affection to those with this love language. One of the biggest challenges for people with this love language occurs when the relationship has been well established and most of the early playfulness and touching vanishes. They need skin to skin contact to know their partner is close and cares.

Almost everyone has a dominant and secondary love language where they receive the majority of the reinforcement of connection. However, everyone should receive a variety of love from all these categories because it touches them in a variety of ways at different times. Words of love can impact those longing for touch as much as a tight hug. The important thing is to take the time, get to know what a partner needs and then strive to fill them with as much love as possible.

Is There Hope To Save A Marriage

Is There Hope To Save A Marriage


With divorce as common as it is these days, it's easy to understand why so many with marital troubles start to wonder, Is there hope to save a marriage once it really hits the skids? Is there really no turning back? 

The good news is that there are realistic reasons to believe that you can bring your marriage back from the brink of divorce. Not only that, but you can use the opportunity to build an even closer and richer relationship than you had before. So the answer to the question, Is there hope to save a marriage? is definitely Yes!

Second chances work!

In the late 1980's, the National Survey of Families and Households in the US tracked 645 spouses who rated their marriages as unhappy. The survey found that those who agreed to put off divorce and give the marriage a second chance rated their marriage as happy five years later. Sometimes it's just a matter of taking a deep breath and agreeing to invest some time in working through your problems.

Where's the love?

Marriage counselors rely on the fact that no matter how much some couples argue, most still have a basic respect and concern for each other. After all, unless you're in an arranged marriage, you chose your partner because you saw a good amount of positive qualities in them.
 Those qualities are still there, even though you might not see them as clearly today or other less appetizing personality traits have cropped up in front of them. If you can remember the good times, you stand a good chance of reviving the positive feelings you had for each other and using those as a springboard for making up.

You can change things by yourself!

One of the biggest misconceptions about rescuing a marriage is that both sides have to want to save it. While it's true that both sides have to give up the idea of divorce eventually, one spouse alone can still take steps to turn things around and buy a little time while the other reconsiders. The reason is that if you change your approach to your spouse, they'll naturally change their behavior, too, and you start a positive cycle of improvement.

Right advice helps!

The trouble with relying on your own judgment alone to make up with your spouse is that you're too close to the problem. To make matters worse, this is such an emotionally charged issue that even the most stable, logical person can easily  overreact. That's why having input from a knowledgeable, neutral third party is so invaluable. A marriage counselor is the obvious choice, but if you can't afford one or your partner refuses to go, there are other sources of advice such as the marriage self-help e books available online or at your local bookstore.

Before you start thinking the only answer to the question, Is there hope to save a marriage? is No, take a deep breath and look at the realities. If you can get your spouse to agree to work out your problems together, you stand an excellent chance of avoiding divorce. Even if you,re the only one who wants to stay together, though, you can still turn things around just by changing your own behavior.

How To Increase Chemistry In Relationships

 

How To Increase Chemistry In Relationships

Think chemistry in relationships is something that “just happens?” If you do, the truth might surprise you. Sure, you probably can’t create chemistry where none exists, but if that initial spark is there, there’s plenty you can do to fan the flames.

Understand what chemistry is!

If you’ve never really felt strong chemistry with another person, it can be hard to get an idea of what it is. What most people call chemistry is a sense that the two of you are just meant to be together. You’re both perfectly at ease with each other and have a strong physical attraction for each other. While it might have something to do with looks and pheromones, most of it is mental. It comes from you and your sweetie having the same beliefs, dreams, and maybe even habits and pet peeves.

Develop a rapport!

Before you can build up any chemistry, you need to have a good rapport first. If you’ve only seen each other for one or two dates, that rapport may not quite be there yet. To create it, look for a conversation topic you can really bond over. Just make sure it’s something pleasant and low-stress, though. You may discover you both love discussing ways to end famine in Africa, but that subject doesn’t help your partner associate you with pleasure and fun.

Use humor!

Laughter is not only fun, it also makes us feel at ease with another person. You don’t have to be a professional comedian. Even an attempt at humor in your own style can work. Just keep it clean and neutral so you don’t offend your date right off the bat.

Adrenaline is your friend!

Studies have shown that couples who met in an exciting situation—whether pleasurable or not—tend to find each other more attractive. More so than couples who met under normal circumstances. It works because the mind associates any excitement with the person we’re with at the time and mistakes it for physical attraction. Make use of this by planning a date that will get the adrenaline pumping like a scary movie, a roller coaster ride, or even whitewater rafting.

Express yourself!

You can’t have chemistry in relationships with people who don’t know the real you. Instead of keeping your opinions to yourself in hopes of hiding anything your partner might not like about you, make it a point to share your thoughts and feelings about important issues. Sometimes just a single off-hand comment can make your date fall for you hard.

Enhance the physical!

Some tips for how to increase chemistry in relationships will tell you to touch your date on the knee or arm early on. You want to be careful with that, though. Get physical too early on and you could just end up turning your partner off. Instead, start by just talking about what physical features you each find most attractive in the opposite sex and then using the info you gain to your advantage.

Chemistry in relationships may be mysterious and hard to control, but that doesn’t mean you can’t help it along a little. Make sure you start with a good rapport, throw in a little humor and excitement and you’ll be off to a good start.

The Best Spouse Relationships

The Best Spouse Relationships

The best spouse relationships are based on love and respect. That goes without saying, doesn't it? Everyone probably realizes that love and respect are crucial to having a good marriage. But beyond love and respect there are a few things that can help spouse relationships.

Think back to when you were first married. If you're newly married, think back to when you first met and were dating. How did you treat your partner?  You probably treated your partner with respect, but also with kindness and thoughtfulness.

Unfortunately, it's common that the longer we know someone, the less kind we tend to be toward them. One would think that the opposite holds true. But we start to take the other person for granted and think they'll always be there, no matter what.

Think of the last time you went to the bank or grocery store and spoke to the cashier. Maybe you exchanged words with a stranger. How was the tone of your voice and your words?

You probably sounded like the sweetest person on the planet. That person might have thought how polite when you walked away.

Now think to the words and the tone of the voice you use with your spouse sometimes. When you get angry or you're unhappy about something, think about how you sound.

 Would you ever speak that way to a stranger?  If you're thinking probably not then you've started taking advantage of your spouse.

People do it with close friends, parents and children, too. If we could record people's conversations and play them back at a different time, people might be ashamed of how they sounded.

 And they probably wouldn't speak that way to someone they didn't know well for fear of hurting their feelings!

Good spouse relationships are kind ones. Everyone gets angry now and then. And yes, everyone says things he or she regrets in an angry and even hateful tone of voice.  But you can keep these instances to a minimum by just thinking about whether you'd talk to your postman or your boss that way.

Thoughtfulness is also an important factor in good spouse relationships. People love their spouses, but it seems the longer they're together, the less they sometimes show it. Your spouse is the one person you should make a point of being thoughtful towards, always.

In the beginning when you're first dating someone or first married, you might send (or receive) flowers, cards and little surprises. Generally after people are married for a while, these sorts of things slow down or stop. Why ?

 Remembering to be thoughtful and surprise your spouse can help makes yours one of the better spouse relationships. Try to keep in mind that marriage isn't written in stone. There really are other opportunities out there for your spouse. Bring back some of the things you did and said when you were trying to win this person.

 Be kind and thoughtful as much as you can. Those combined with love and respect will make yours one of the enduring spouse relationships of a life time.