How To Increase Chemistry In Relationships

 

How To Increase Chemistry In Relationships

Think chemistry in relationships is something that “just happens?” If you do, the truth might surprise you. Sure, you probably can’t create chemistry where none exists, but if that initial spark is there, there’s plenty you can do to fan the flames.

Understand what chemistry is!

If you’ve never really felt strong chemistry with another person, it can be hard to get an idea of what it is. What most people call chemistry is a sense that the two of you are just meant to be together. You’re both perfectly at ease with each other and have a strong physical attraction for each other. While it might have something to do with looks and pheromones, most of it is mental. It comes from you and your sweetie having the same beliefs, dreams, and maybe even habits and pet peeves.

Develop a rapport!

Before you can build up any chemistry, you need to have a good rapport first. If you’ve only seen each other for one or two dates, that rapport may not quite be there yet. To create it, look for a conversation topic you can really bond over. Just make sure it’s something pleasant and low-stress, though. You may discover you both love discussing ways to end famine in Africa, but that subject doesn’t help your partner associate you with pleasure and fun.

Use humor!

Laughter is not only fun, it also makes us feel at ease with another person. You don’t have to be a professional comedian. Even an attempt at humor in your own style can work. Just keep it clean and neutral so you don’t offend your date right off the bat.

Adrenaline is your friend!

Studies have shown that couples who met in an exciting situation—whether pleasurable or not—tend to find each other more attractive. More so than couples who met under normal circumstances. It works because the mind associates any excitement with the person we’re with at the time and mistakes it for physical attraction. Make use of this by planning a date that will get the adrenaline pumping like a scary movie, a roller coaster ride, or even whitewater rafting.

Express yourself!

You can’t have chemistry in relationships with people who don’t know the real you. Instead of keeping your opinions to yourself in hopes of hiding anything your partner might not like about you, make it a point to share your thoughts and feelings about important issues. Sometimes just a single off-hand comment can make your date fall for you hard.

Enhance the physical!

Some tips for how to increase chemistry in relationships will tell you to touch your date on the knee or arm early on. You want to be careful with that, though. Get physical too early on and you could just end up turning your partner off. Instead, start by just talking about what physical features you each find most attractive in the opposite sex and then using the info you gain to your advantage.

Chemistry in relationships may be mysterious and hard to control, but that doesn’t mean you can’t help it along a little. Make sure you start with a good rapport, throw in a little humor and excitement and you’ll be off to a good start.

Dr. Paul Pharms, PhD Joins Million Marriage Mission

Dr. Paul Pharms, PhD Joins Million Marriage Mission

 
Dr. Paul Pharms, PhD helps single women get married


(PressMethod) - April 14, 2012 –It would be quite surprising for one to know that there are 59.9 million single women in the United States of America. This has been mentioned by Sam Roberts of New York Times. It has also been observed from further evidence that the situation is similar in the rest of the world. Many women are today facing this challenge and the most painful problems that one would ever experience in life. Dr. Paul Pharms, PhD is one who has been trying to help woman cross this hurdle. He, along with T Dub Jackson and Johnathan Green has joined the Million Marriage Mission now.

Visitors to the blog of Dr. Paul Pharms, PhD, would find a large collection of information about relationships. There are several articles on his blog which are quite useful. Dr. Paul Pharms, PhD, being a self empowerment consultant has been providing valuable inputs and information about relationship management to several people. One can also find a video bar where visitors can find a few helpful videos. The page contains articles on topics such as "Get inside his mind", "Why are older men dating younger women?""Ladies know yourself before dating", etc. A link is provided on the website for a slide show too. There are also links to various previous blog posts in the Blog Archive of Dr. Paul Pharms, PhD.

"I am glad to be a part of the "Million Marriages Mission" which would help several single women to get into a marriage. It gives me immense pleasure to be a part of this mission which would help reduce the number of single women from 59.9 million as mentioned in the New York Times. It is a great challenge for a woman and a painful experience too. My blog provides valuable inputs about relationship management. I will be quite glad if at least a few of the visitors are benefited by these tips", says Dr. Paul Pharms, PhD. "We are glad to be associated with Dr. Paul Pharms, PhD in this noble mission", Mr. Dub Jackson adds.

The blog provides articles that are quite useful for single women to find their most suitable men and get into a long term relationship with them.

For more details, please log on to: http://resilientinvestor.blogspot.in/.


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Dating Do's and Dont's - Getting a second date

Dating  Do's and Don'ts - Getting a second date


Remember that you only get one chance to make the first impression.

1)  Ensure that you are listening as well as speaking.
2)  Smile
3)  Maintain eye contact, but don't stare - this is an aggressive act.
4)  Don’t spend the entire date talking about yourself.   Ask questions about his job, family, friends, goals, pets, hobbies and interests.  You will get all the information you need to know if you ask questions and then listen.
5)  Don’t ask yourself is the man I want to marry on your first date.  Don't look at her as if she has no clothes on.
6)  Be safe.  Use your good judgement.  Always remain in public and take your cell phone.
7)  Make sure you tell a friend where you are going.
8)  Don’t get drunk. You will more likely to make bad judgements.
9)  Look your best.
10)  Don’t give away too much personal information.
11)  Don’t talk about your ex. This is the fastest way NOT to get a second date.
12)  Don’t be late
13)  Be yourself.
14)  Don’t act desperate, even if you are.
15)  Pay attention.   Listen for inconsistencies in the conversation.  Watch for bad behavior. IE: drinks too much, aggressive or confrontational.
16)  Don’t talk about your weight and dieting.
17)  Don’t talk about your girlfriends.
18)  Turn your mobile phone off, or have it on vibrate, but DO NOT answer it.
19)  Keep your first meeting short.
20)  Be confident.This is an attractive characteristic.

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4 Steps To Get Your Ex Girlfriend Back

4 Steps To Get Your Ex Girlfriend Back

If your girlfriend broke up with you and you want to get your ex girlfriend back, keep reading. Guess what? 9 times out of every 10, if this happened it's because you did something wrong. It can be a little tough for men to maintain relationships with women, but it is still quite possible with the right know how. You just need to figure out what happened to make you go off track so that you can get your ex girlfriend back.

Where did you go off track? Why did your ex girlfriend break up with you? When you are ready to get your ex girlfriend back, there are things that you really need to consider just like these. Some women will tell you all of your faults in great detail while others won't. When you are trying to figure out what you did wrong, don't be afraid to ask her. This is a big step to learning how to get your ex girlfriend back because it will tell you what she thinks you need to do to make the necessary changes.

If she's not telling you what you did wrong and you still want to get your ex girlfriend back, consider the following things:

1 - You may need to pay more attention to her if you want to get your ex girlfriend back. Women don't like it when you're not paying enough attention to them. This really isn't an unreasonable request on their part. It's vital to every relationship that you give enough attention to your loved ones. You'll score points with her by showing her that you can give her the attention that she needs.

2 - Women have a different idea about emotional support than men. If you want to get your ex girlfriend back, you need to figure out what she's looking for in terms of emotional support. She needs more than simply verbal affirmations, so buy her something nice to show her that you care about her. This is a great way to get the ball rolling when you want to get your ex girlfriend back.

3 - This shouldn't bear repeating, but apparently it's necessary: Don't cheat on her! Even if she's cheated on you, or she's been cheated on before, cheating on her will not help you get your ex girlfriend back. If you like sleeping with different women, you don't deserve to get your ex girlfriend back, so don't even bother.

4 - If you want to get your ex girlfriend back and you still live with her, show her you can help her keep the place nice. Pitch in with the housework and participate as much as you can to show her that you know how to be responsible and that you know how to show your love for her.

When you are ready to get your ex girlfriend back, know that the process is not difficult. It may require some basic life changes, however, because you need to be mature and responsible, and you need to know how to show your love for her. Be loving, caring, responsible and respectful, and you may just get your ex girlfriend back after all.

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What If I want to date with my office mate

What If I want to date with my office mate...

Love or any of its elements seem to bloom in any place- even the places you least expect it to grow in. Workplace? It is not that impossible at all. It is even one of the best venues to search for a prospect life partner since one is more aware of what this other person is. You work with that person so you get to know more of him inside and out. On the second thought, is it a bed of roses in all angles?

The answer is of course- NO. In whatever form of romance story, there will always be these villains. But, what if you want to go out and have a date with a co-worker?

Just imagine this: a male co-worker sends a present to you, it will surely be a big-hot issue for the whole office. The bigger issue to face is the negative consequences entailed by the romance you choose to have. There are some reasons why office romance is not allowed by some companies. Therefore, be sure to make your self aware of the internal rules of the company. For some, it is a grave offense and an employee will be terminated from work.

Romance at work will greatly affect an employee's decision-making. With this, team efforts and some team tasks will really be moved by couple-employees. It is a fact that once personal life s inserted in professionalism, trouble might bite.

Another picture is that for couples, what if one gets the promotion over the other? Yes, they are lovers but there will always be that ""ego" thing since both people are having the same job. Professionals as they are, they have that aim to be at par from the rest of the employees.

Reassignment is another issue. Some companies' reassign one of the persons to another task just to overcome assumed affects which may not well for the company. If the reassignment of the other person is not favorable for the relationship, it will plunge down their good performance. Thus, it affects their over-all production.

When a couple is constantly together, it will also affect the team tasks where may one of them join into. Other co-workers will also be affected and intimidated.

Despite all of these negative effects, there will always be that positive thing about romance at work. You meet a partner who could understand you and your mood swings because you share the same pressures of work.

When you are just on the dating stage, see to it that you  do it as discreetly as you could without triggering some possible gossips that may just affect you and the person involved. Being professional includes knowing how to put that margin between your workplace and your private life.  

The Ultimate And Perfect Relationship

 The Ultimate And Perfect Relationship


The ultimate and perfect relationship is something that most people dream of. So many women yearn to be that perfect woman, that every man will fall in love with, and constantly visualize that fairytale romance and spend the rest of there life with their perfect soul mate.

Why then doesn’t it always happen that way with so many of women wondering how to find the right man, why do some women always end up in a failing relationship or why don’t some men call them?

For many women relationships are so frustrating leaving them stressed, distraught and confused, never quite knowing what they might have done wrong and still wondering what he see's in other women rather than her.

You see those women who always have their man, have great relationships and can have the pick of the crop. Their relationships are always perfect, full of excitement with great men and the ideal life. Why do some women have such a perfect relationship and a perfect life when others have to suffer relationships that are dull, unfulfilling, boring or even non existent? Don’t you just wish you could really understand men?

Don’t despair, did you know that as a woman, by virtue of your femininity, you have the power at you finger tips to make men fall in love with you, make men want to spend the rest of their lives with you, influence the way they think and persuade them to give you want your heart desires.

If you find its difficult to attract the right man, sustain a relationship, keep the interest of your partner or persuade the love of your life to get down on one knee don’t despair, all women have the power to get their man by learning how to be their selves and focusing on their individuality.

Have you noticed that women who attract men like magnets aren't necessarily beautiful, in fact many beautiful women never attracts the perfect man, just the ones that can’t see beyond the cover and are quick to dump their trophies at the drop of a hat. Many of these women are never loved for who they are but purely for what they look like and once the looks go then they can kiss their relationship goodbye.

The women who attract their ‘perfect’ man aren't necessarily the most beautiful they are women who feel comfortable about themselves, know how to present the assets that they have and know how to please their man.

The ability to attract the right man is a learned skill;  It’s an art but a learned art that will enable YOU to attract and keep your dream man. Most men might not admit it but they want to be lured, seduced and praised by their women and will happily give anything to the women that makes him feel special, good about himself and totally fulfilled.

Seducing a man just isn't about sex or fancy meals it’s about the complete art of seduction, the power to make yourself irresistible to him. Becoming the woman that he will love and cherish all of his life with you:)

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Getting Back To The Basics Of Love And Romance

Getting Back To The Basics Of  Love And Romance

Almost every love story has the potential to begin as if it were a fairy tale. “Once upon a time, two people fell passionately in love and their love was unlike any others before theirs.” Relationship beginnings are wonderful and they can experience a ‘rebirth’ with a wedding, honeymoon and the exciting first year of marriage. Once a couple begins to grow and their lives change with jobs, children, social activities and other commitments, the love and romance becomes more difficult to attend to. Sometimes love and romance seem to be lost altogether. This destiny is not unavoidable if you want to rekindle the passion or simply bring it to a new level by becoming a hopeless romantic.

When you want to ignite the passion in your relationship but you aren’t sure what you need to do, the best place to begin is at the beginning. Think about the things that you used to do for your partner at the beginning of your relationship. If you don’t remember or never tried to be a true romantic, don’t worry. It’s not difficult and once you begin you will find that you will get your own new ideas after a while.

Most new relationships or new beginnings rely on the ‘little’ things to show love and affection. Be sure to remember special ‘couple’ days like Valentine’s Day, Anniversaries and even the date you met if possible. Be sure to send a meaningful gift or just a dozen roses and a box of chocolates to celebrate your feelings for your partner. Women can do exactly the same thing for men here. Not many men can resist candy!

You may not consider yourself to be a writer, but writing your partner a long love letter with your thoughts about how you feel for the other person is one of the most touching ways to spark romance. If you aren’t comfortable writing a letter, consider making lists about what you love the most about your partner. Lists can be about the things they do that makes you laugh, what they do for you that you appreciate, how they make you feel inside, how beautiful or handsome they are and other very personal but attentive details.

Call your partner and talk softly and loving. If he or she isn’t able to answer the phone, leave loving messages on their voice mail or answering machine. Talk dirty when you know that he or she can’t return the same conversation on the other end :)

Sometimes couples feel more comfortable trying to bring romance into their relationship by bestowing gifts on their partner. While classics like flowers, candy and perfume or cologne are almost always successful gifts, try ‘giving’ something different. Make plans to go see every romantic movie that comes to the theater during the year. Bring home a " I Love You " trophy  to celebrate even the tiniest accomplishment he or she has had. Randomly send romantic and/or humorous greeting cards to his or her workplace or hide them under the bed pillows at home.

These suggestions are simply ideas to get you started in your effort to bring romance and love to a new level in your marriage / relationship. You may have your own ideas and those are most likely better than anything offered here. Once you open the door to romance in your marriage / relationship and begin to build a foundation for future romance, you are ready to move to even more creative levels of romance

How to Win Love Back and Have Your Ex Fall in Love with You All Over Again

How to Win Love Back and Have Your Ex Fall in Love with You All Over Again

What can you do to win love back?  Getting your ex to fall in love with you all over again can be a challenge.  The truth is that there are reasons that he or she called it off.  If you can figure out what the reasons are, you have a good chance to win love back.

If you need to win love back because the other person couldn't trust you anymore, you will have to proceed slowly. If you messed up and fooled around with someone else, you have to prove that you can be loyal again. 

First, you must be certain that you want your ex back.  What is going to keep you from straying again? Could it be that the reason you fooled around is because you weren't 100 percent sure you wanted your ex?  If this is the case, are you now sure that you want the relationship to go forward? 

If you are sure, then you need to apologize. Don't think that this will get you very far when it comes to win love back, but it is a necessary first step.

Then, you must give your ex time to heal. Don't push him or her to resolve the situation.  During this time, you don't want to play any head games that might give your ex the feeling that you can't be trusted. You probably shouldn't date other people during this time. You should be humble. 

Be a great friend to her.  Do the things that made her fall in love with you in the first place.  If she still has feelings for you, being a good friend can help her pave over the infidelity.

But there are reasons besides cheating that a person dumps their lover.  For instance, they may be bored with the relationship.  In this case, if you want to win love back, you have to spice things up.

When your ex was first attracted to you, you were probably not complacent in the dating game.  You planned each date carefully, dressed up for the events, and brought little gifts to him or her from time to time. As the relationship developed, you may have gotten sloppy about it. 

If you think the reason you are now in the position where you need to win love back is that you let the relationship get boring, try spicing things up. If you meet up again just as friends do something different and exciting. Meet at a restaurant  instead of a pool hall. Go out for Japanese or other interesting food. Go to a concert with music that she likes.  Don't just sit around the house watching football or American Idol all of the time.

If your ex is bored with you, win love back by becoming more interesting in your personal life as well. Take a course or join up with an interesting group. Learn martial arts. Show your ex that you can be a lot more interesting.

The final reason that I'm going to discuss here about why a break up happens is that you were just too into your ex. He or she didn't have any room to breathe. They may still like you. Yes, they may still love you, but they didn't find any room for themselves in the relationship.

If this is the case, you have to give your ex some space. The worst thing you can do is send them 100 text messages a day or call crying at 3:00 a.m. Asking why the break up happened. You win love back by backing off. When you see your ex, be casual.  Don't be needy.

There are, of course, many other reasons why your ex could have broken up with you. When you analyze why the break up happened, you can use the space thereafter to win love back by making the necessary changes.

You won't win love back by continuing in your old habits. But you should know that getting back together is possible. You can win love back.

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Top Ten List Of What To Do And What Not To Do In Relationships

Top Ten List Of What To Do And What Not To Do In Relationships


Most of us who have been intimately involved with someone beyond the infatuation stage know that relationships are like a roller coaster ride. When things are good, they are very, very good. When things are bad, they are very, very bad. As a relationship consultant, I have developed Top 10 Lists---one for men and one for women on 10 things to do and not to do in relationships.

MEN

DO

1. Just listen to your partner without offering advice.
2. Trust and Respect her.
3. Treat her as an equal partner in your relationship.
4. Stay and support her when she gets emotional. She is looking for understanding, not solutions.
5. Continue your courtship even after she’s committed to you. Continue to create romance in your relationship.
6. Do little things on a regular basis. A woman does care if you call her at work to say, “I love you” or if you buy a new TV for the living room. The small things are worth just as much as the big ones.
7. Honor any agreements you have made with her.
8. Encourage her goals and direction.
9. Find out what your partner would like to do and then do it with her.
10. Say, “I’ apologize” when you’ve done something you regret or that was hurtful to your partner, whether intentionally or unintentionally.

DON’T

1. Go to bed angry with your partner.
2. Try to offer advice or solutions when your partner just needs you to listen to her without comment.
3. Pretend to listen to her when you really aren’t.
4. Shut your partner out when you need to sort things out in your head. Just explain you need space, you aren’t angry with your partner and that you’ll be back.
5. Criticize your partner, especially her appearance.
6. Yell at your partner as if you were her father.
7. Take every word she says literally. Women, when upset, tend to speak in absolutes, such as “You NEVER listen to me;” when what she really means is that you aren’t listening to her at that time.
8. Allow jealousy to erode the trust, love and respect of your relationship.
9. Violate her privacy.
10. Forget special occasions.

Men and Women have different communication styles, different needs and desires, and different relationship challenges. Learning these differences can assist us in strengthening the relationships we have now and in the future.

WOMEN

DO

1. When you want more quality time with your man, make the time you do have as positive as possible.
2. Trust and respect him.
3. Stop nagging.
4. Allow your partner time away from you without giving him the third degree.
5. Appreciate the little things he does for you and tell him so.
6. Make love creatively and often. Don’t be afraid to initiate lovemaking.
7. Honor any agreements you have made with him.
8. Support his goals and direction.
9. Ask for what you want! (Believe it or not, no matter how much he loves you, he really can’t read your mind.)
10. Accept his “No” gracefully, trusting that he would if he could.

DON’T

1. Go to bed angry with your partner.
2. Insist he always share his feelings with you. Talking about feelings is more what women need.
3. Attempt to converse with your partner during a good movie or sporting event.
4. Continue to “give” in what you perceive is a lopsided relationship when you are at a point of resentment.
5. Criticize him or put him down, especially the things he does.
6. Scold your partner as if he were a child.
7. Use sex as a prize for good behavior or the withholding of sex as punishment for “bad” behavior.
8. Compare him to a fictional character in a book, movie or soap drama and find him lacking.
9. Violate his privacy.
10. Try to change him. Appreciate the man he is right now.

There is so much to learn about satisfying relationships that your parents never showed you. Please don’t become one of the statistics of divorce or perhaps worse, stay in a miserable relationship to honor your marriage vows while having so many regrets about your life as the time ticks away.

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Win Ex Back Without Playing Head Games

Win Ex Back Without Playing Head Games

When you have been dumped, there are any number of theories about how to win ex back.  Most of them involve playing head games with your ex.  But, when you mess with her head just to win her back, you are on a shaky foundation for moving forward in the relationship when things are patched up.  This article is the no-games way to win ex back.

When you were going out, she would text you two dozen times a day.  Now your phone is silent.  While you don't want to overdo it, calling her once a week or so just to keep in touch keeps the door open for a reconciliation.

To this end, make sure that you call her on important days like her birthday.  Sending a card or a small gift wouldn't hurt either when you are trying to win ex back.

Keep in touch by email.  If there is a news story she might enjoy send it to her with a nice (short) note.  You can also start a email list where you send out information, jokes, or personal updates to a group of friends and make sure she is on the responder list.

You also have to decide whether you want to want to date other women during the period when you are trying to win ex back.  If you are serious that you are going to win ex back, you won't date other women.  If you are even thinking about getting back together, do not sleep with another woman.  This goes against some dating advice that says you should date around to make your ex jealous.  But playing games like this will not serve you well when you do get back together.

Don't be jealous when she dates other guys though.  She called it off, remember, so she's not cheating when she sees men.  You can use the information about what she looks for in a man when you analyze the kind of men she's dating.

For instance, if she broke things off with you because you had gotten too complacent in the relationship, she may be seeing men who sweep her off her feet. If you were the beer and football type and she's now dating artists and poets, you may need to develop a more sensitive side in order to win ex back.

When you analyze and study the woman who broke up with you, you will be able to see what she really needs in a man. Remember, that now that you are no longer a couple, there are layers being built up between the two of you. In some ways, this actually makes it easier to see what she needs from a man because your own emotions, feelings, and needs are less at play. Read into the things she says and the things she doesn't say. Look at her actions as well.

Hold your own cards close to your chest. The power in your relationship has shifted.  When you spill out your deepest emotions to your ex, you give her too much power. If you tell her that she is the one person who you need in your life, she suddenly can dictate the future.  When you hold your own cards close to your chest, you preserve your own power which is necessary for restoration of the relationship after you win ex back.

During the time when you are broken up, work on yourself.  Make sure you hit the gym regularly so you look good. Get a hair cut too and even consider a new style.  Also, work on your mind as well as your body. By spending time on self improvement, you become more attractive to your ex.

The bottom line is that you can try to get your ex back by playing games or you can try to fix the problems that your relationship had.  When you work on the problems, you build a more solid foundation for the future when you have already accomplished win ex back.

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Broken Relationships Rebound The Smart Way

Broken Relationships Rebound The Smart Way

How many times have you seen one of your friends break up with a long-term partner only to find, the very next week, someone who was obviously all wrong for them? It’s one of the most common after effects of the end of relationships: rebound dating.

The idea of rebound relationships is so ingrained into the way we think about dating that it just seems natural to look for one after a breakup. There’s something to be said for getting “back in the saddle,” choosing a partner when your judgment is clouded usually does more harm than good overall. If you want to get over your ex fast, there are better ways to do it.

Band-Aid relationships: rebound mindset

The first step to keeping yourself from doing something you’ll regret is to take an honest look at what you’re feeling and understand how those feelings can lead you places you’d rather not go. A lot of times we just miss the companionship and look for someone to fill the gap in our schedule and distract us from the fact that our heart’s just been broken. In that case, make a point of finding a social time-filler that doesn’t involve romance.

Maintain your standards

The best thing you can do to avoid getting involved with someone who’s all wrong for you is stick to your standards. In fact, go ahead and raise them a little just to add a safety buffer. If the person you’re thinking about dating is less kind, less intelligent, less anything that you’d normally want, stay away. These people don’t make for good relationships, rebound or otherwise.

Beware of the handiest person

When we look for someone to rebound with, we need someone fast. We don’t have time to “waste” looking for someone we really click with, so we tend to latch on to someone we already know and have at least some rapport with. It might be a close friend, a co-worker, even someone who works at the grocery store down the street. If you find yourself falling for someone you’ve never been the least bit attracted to before, stop and think about what’s really going on here.

Take time for yourself

Instead of filling your time with go-nowhere dates, get out and make some new friends (that’s “friends,” not “lovers.” There’s a difference.) Get involved in something you’ve always wanted to do but never had time for. Whatever you do, don’t sit around pining for your ex or looking for some one else to save you from the pain that your feeling.

Be gentle with yourself.

Even if your not sobbing into your pillow every night, the end of a relationship will naturally make you feel a little bummed out and low on energy. Take that into account and try not to start any major projects for a few weeks. Instead, treat yourself to some time out to do something you enjoy.

Of course, not every rebound relationship ends up a disaster. If you’re lucky, you may meet some one truly right for you. If you do decide to get involved with someone after a breakup, though, make sure you’ve taken a little off by yourself and you’re not lowering your standards. While we can't prevent all broken relationships: rebound dates gone wrong are easy to avoid.

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Six Essential Secrets For Flowing Relationships

Contrary to most conventional wisdom, it's not your looks, your money, your job or even your luck, that's going to land you that great relationship, and keep it sizzling. No, the secret is all in your attitude.

Here are my Six Essential Secrets For Flowing Relationships

1. Stop competing with each other! Good relationships are all about being on the same side. What's the purpose in scoring all those points? Sure you may cross the finish line first today, and maybe tomorrow as well. But you'll be all alone when you do, and if you carry on this way, eventually you may not have anyone left in your life to compete with! So stop competing; stop player-hating; start concentrating on crossing that finish line as part of a winning team.

2. Listen, communicate and hear! One of my favorite parts of my great relationship period, is to sit and chat with my wife. We talk about big stuff, and small stuff; share plans and pains, and each of us engages with what the other is saying. We never use silence as a weapon, and we never go to bed mad. Master the simple art of real conversation, and your relationship is halfway home!

3. Understand a relationship is not about "ownership. "This is probably the most common personal problem I come across. Possessiveness and jealousy are two of the most destructive of all human forces. Very few relationships will survive the poison of this twin-horned devil. Let it go!

4. Pay yourself first every day! The most important relationship of all is the one you have with yourself! That means taking care of your body, mind and spirit every single day. It's simply called self-respect. I can guarantee you, that if you don't care for yourself, then few others will. Why should they? If you've already demonstrated your own low self-esteem, who am I, or anyone else, to argue with that? Take care of yourself first each day, in order to be strong enough to take care of the people you care about.

5. Put the romance back! You just can't beat it. A romantic gesture says: "At this moment, I am thinking 100% of you, and your needs, and I want to do everything I can to please you." It also says a great deal about your own self-esteem. You'd be amazed how many people are motivated to make romantic gestures because of the praise they'll receive, not the pleasure they'll give. That isn't romance, its selfish. Learn to discern. Become a Master of Romance. It'll spice up your life!

6. Learn how to bend, but never so far that you snap.  Relationships are all about give and take. It's OK to bend with the wind sometimes. That's the nature of the dance. But it's not OK to bow over so far, so often, and so low, that you get worn down, weaken and snap. Learn how much to give, how much to take, and when to walk away.

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Five Most Important Things to Remember About Dating Women

Five Most Important Things to Remember About Dating Women

   Everyone does it. Not everyone loves it. Whether you enjoy dating or find it stressful and horrible, you know that if you are ever going to find the one person who can stop your dating life forever, you have to do it. Gentlemen, you simply have to date women if you are ever going to find the perfect one for you. So, here is some good advice for you. 

Successful dating can be broken down into the five most important things about dating women. They are:

Women are not guys.  They do not think it is fun to make noises by placing their hands under their armpits and acting like a winged creature. Even if they are drunk, they don't like this. Save this type of behavior for guy's night.

Women are not guys. They do not think it is cool to brag about your previous relationship conquests. They do not want to know about the ditzy blonde who had nothing to say but had the most amazing rack ever created. Nor do they think it is great to have their guy greeted by every woman in the place.Take your date to a different place just to be on the safe side and never, never, never mention your ex-girlfriend.

Women are not guys.  They do not like to see you show up at their door in your ratty old jeans with a cheap five-buck pizza in hand. Trust me on this one.  Maybe later  way later, like after the kids become teenagers  it will be okay for this kind of thing to happen. But for now, please, guys: take a shower, put on something nice like khakis and a pullover shirt, and have flowers in hand instead of greasy fast food.

Women are not guys.  They do not love it when their date pulls out buy-one-get-one-free coupons at the restaurant cash register. There is nothing wrong with a bargain, especially in these tough economic times, but use those freebies when you go out with your mom (who will love your thriftiness) or your best buddy (who wouldn't notice or care how you paid). Don't make your date think that she is not worth full price.

Women are not guys. They do not find burping and farting contests hilariously interesting and entertaining. Who can come up with most-silent-but-most-deadly one without any prior warning is nothing to be proud of, according to the female half of the population. Neither is it way cool to be able to belch out the melody to The Star-Spangled Banner. Again, save it for football night with the frat brothers.

Remembering the five most important things to remember about dating women will take you farther than anything else when it comes to having a great time on your dates. The five most important things to remember about dating women will also allow you to get more than one date with the same lady. There are lots of people who will offer you lots of advice about dating, and even some who will simply say, Be yourself. 

That is not terrible advice, but trust me, if being yourself includes any of the forbidden behavior in the five most important things to remember when dating women list, don't be yourself. Be better.  Remember these five most important things about dating women and have a better dating life.

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The Top Six Romance Killers – And How to Avert Them

The Top Six Romance Killers – And How to Avert Them


Remember the time your lover couldn’t keep his hands off you? And now, it seems, his hands are strictly for holding the remote, and he has eyes only for the TV.

What went wrong? Besides the fact that lifestyles today are more stressful than ever (a definite romance buster), most relationships go through predictable phases – from intense passion to a warm friendly glow to possible eventual indifference.

All couples, however, do not end up with indifference towards each other. Some even retain intense romance and passion for as long as they live. These relationships are not instances of chance or luck – the continued intimacy is a result of working on the relationship and not giving up on each other when the things look bleak.

If you are looking for more than just “holding on” to each other out of habit and wish to rekindle the flame of the early days of your romancing, here are some tips that will help you reach that goal:

Chores and additional responsibility: The greatest difference between the dating days and the living together days is the drastic change in responsibility levels. Money matters, household chores, and decision-making are the major areas of conflict.

For instance, you have never discussed who does what around the house, and when you see your partner sprawled on the couch while you are hard at work, it angers you. The best way to sidestep this hurdle is to work on communication. In this example, it would help to discuss division of chores and responsibilities before you start living together. Also, discuss money matters beforehand – who will spend on what, how much will be saved etc.

 If one partner puts in efforts to save money, and the other partner spends lavishly, the relationship is heading towards troubled waters. When we stop communicating, resentment builds up.

Resentment: Unresolved issues lead to bitterness and resentment. And when we resent our partner, we tend to start shutting him/her out of our lives. This is the beginning of indifference. Snip indifference in the bud by recognizing its signs and talking about the unresolved issue. Seek a closure.

Fitness & Health: High profile and highly demanding careers mean that we have little emotional energy to “give” at the end of the day. When both partners feel this way, they may end up snapping at each other for non-issues. And if you have been neglecting your health by eating junk food and not exercising, you feel constantly exhausted and irritable. So when both partners maintain a healthy (and fit) lifestyle, it helps their relationship.

Babies: Some say that the greatest test of the health of a relationship is how it survives the entry of the new family member – the baby. Newborns can add to the stress of an already stressed relationship. If you don’t want your relationship to fall apart on account of the baby, make sure you are working on it before the baby is born – again, the key is open and honest communication.

Familiarity: At some point in the relationship we get comfortable enough with each other to burp in front of each other. This familiarity sometimes extends to not opening doors for our partner, and not carrying bags for her – little courtesies are forgotten. Even if we are comfortable with each other, behaving in a gentlemanly manner (or ladylike manner) when the occasion demands, keeps the romance alive.

Bickering: Most bickering is a reflection of a bigger problem – it is never really about the socks on the floor or the toothpaste tube cover- it is about how these gestures show that you don’t care enough about your partner to put in the effort. Bickering only increases your frustration because while the issue does not get resolved, you get labeled a “nag”. Talking in a constructive and positive manner about what bothers you is the best way to sidestep bickering.

Always remember to talk in a place that is free of distractions such as the TV or the baby. And while we’re going on about honest communication, remember the golden rule of speaking to your partner – it never hurts to be diplomatic. We’re saying, “be honest”, but that does not equal “be harsh”. Talk in a considerate, gentle and positive manner; and your partner will reward you by being responsive. And that is the beginning of rekindling the romance.

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Want Ex Back Changing What Went Bad to Get My Ex

Want Ex Back  Changing What Went Bad to Get My Ex Back

Ladies, you are home after a date with yet another guy.  It didn't go well.  You find yourself saying I want ex back. 

After a break up, you may move on to other people.  But, when you constantly find yourself thinking you want ex back, are there things you can do to rekindle an old relationship?

There are, and in this article, I present you with five strategies for when you want ex back.

First, clear your energy from other people.  Don't invest time and energy in men who aren't your ex.  For your old relationship to start working again, you have to prepare your mind, body and soul for him.If you are flirting with another guy, dating other men, or even worse, sleeping around, you are not preparing the proper mindset for getting your ex back.

Next, keep your dignity.  Don't chase your ex, flooding him with hundreds of text messages, calling him at odd times of day, or stalking him.  Also, you need to make him respect you and treat you well.  Don't be a doormat.  You will only command your ex's respect and love when you are yourself at your best.  Hold your head high.  You will increase your chances of getting back together with your ex if you do.

Third, make a list of the things you appreciate about your ex and spend some time dwelling on them.  Sometimes, a bad break up ends with all kinds of accusations. Now that you have some breathing room, start to concentrate on his good points. This is a good thing to do when you want ex back.

Next, when you get back together, try changing some of the circumstances. Go to new places and try new things. Take up a new hobby together.  Meet new people.  By changing the environment of your relationship, you have a better chance of making it work.  Don't fall into the same old patterns of your relationship. You may even want to tune your relationship down a notch.  If you were living together, try having separate places for a while. If you were engaged, try just dating.  Don't try to force your relationship back into old patterns.

Finally, create a shared sense of destiny. While fate certainly plays a role in our lives, we are the ones who write our life script.  Map out with your partner where you want to go.  When you do this together, you create a mission with a place for both of you.

When you want ex back, you have to work with new scenarios.  Follow the advice in this article if you want ex back.

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Romance 101 ?

Romance 101

Men, what woman doesn’t want to be treated to a little romance every once in a while? Many women will agree that romance is all about the details. Small gestures really do make a normal night out into something romantic. So listen up…because these tips will sure earn you some points…

The key to being romantic is thoughtfulness…so start being a little less selfish. Learn that mood, location, situation and ambiance can heighten romance with dramatic effect. Communicate with your partner on every level and anticipate their desires and needs. Look at your partner when they are talking and hold their gaze.

Try doing little things to get right at your partner’s soft spot. Phone just to say hello, I love you and give your partner a nice surprise. Send them notes and small cards telling them you are thinking of them. Be spontaneous and do little deeds that show you care. Bring home take out from their favorite restaurant or take them to their favorite ice cream shop. Flowers are always a nice touch at any time of year. Be creative and pick out their favorite colors and types for a personal touch.

Remember birthdays, anniversaries and landmark days such as the day you two first met or first kissed, and plan something…maybe a return to the first date location. Listen to clues that your partner might drop, such as their favorite dessert or books they like, and surprise them with little gifts.

Learn how to hug, cuddle and make physical contact. Dance together when the occasion arises. Hold hands and do anything to make your partner feel close to you.

Write her a letter and let her know that you love her and you mean it. Use nice stationary, or make your own card, which shows thought and inspiration.

In terms of dates, learn how to cook your partner’s favorite dish. Plan a surprise candlelit dinner followed by a romantic movie. Take your partner on a outing  to the park or beach and prepare in advance without involving them. This initiative is very romantic:)

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Im Still In Love My Ex May Not Be

I'm Still In Love My Ex May Not Be

You might say, I'm still in love, my ex isn't. This is a difficult situation.  First of all, you don't really know that your ex is not still in love with you, too.  Your ex may have claimed to not love you anymore, and that's possible.  But it's also possible that he or she still harbors feelings for you.  Many couples who still love each other very much break up for other reasons. 

If you can honestly say, I'm still in love with my ex, there's a good chance your ex might still love you.  But that doesn't necessarily mean it's a good idea to try to get back together.  You broke up for a reason.  Even if you didn't want to break up and the break off was entirely your ex's doing, really think hard about things.

  It's rare that a person can't think back and see reasons why the break-up might be for the best.  It isn't always easy right at first when you're still in so much pain from the break-up, but with time you'll probably see that the break-up might even be good for you. 

If the break-up was mutual and now you're having a hard time because you feel I'm still in love, my ex should be here with me, then it's even more important that you examine why you agreed to the break-up in the first place.  Yes, there is a chance that a mutual split was a mistake.

  But if you'll really look back at the reasons you both had for calling a halt to the relationship, you might find that's better to love your ex from afar and work through the sadness rather than try to rekindle the romance.

I'm still in love; my ex even wants to get back together. While this might make you feel very hopeful that the two of you might be able to work things out and live happily ever after, don't be fooled into thinking that it will be easy.  The reasons you broke up are still there.  If you get back together, what will change?

 Your relationship might go along well for a while because you're both so happy to be back together. 

If you broke up thinking, I'm still in love with my ex, and he or she thought the same so you got back together, you'll go through a honeymoon period just as you did when you were a new couple. You'll both feel like you saved the relationship and kept each other from making a horrible mistake.

  But that feel-good honeymoon period will wear off eventually. And then what will you do?

How are you going to prevent the problems that caused you to break up in the first place from coming back and making you want to part ways again? Couples counseling is a good option.  If you think, I'm still in love with my ex and want him or her back, then consider counseling to keep old problems from splitting you up again later.

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A Promise is a Promise

A Promise is a Promise

I can't promise you that dark clouds will never hover over our lives or that the future will bring us many rainbows every day. I can't promise you that tomorrow will be perfect,because it never is or that life will be easy.

I can promise you my everlasting devotion, my loyalty ,my respect,and my unconditional love for you as long as we share our lives together.

I can promise that I'll always be there for you, to listen and to hold your hand,and I'll always do my best to make you happy, and make you feel loved.

I can promise that I'll see you through any crisis,and hope with you, build dreams with you,and always cheer you on and encourage you.

I'll willingly be your husband, protector, your adviser, your counselor, your friend, and your exclusive love only in this life and into the next, Because a promise is a promise for life:)

Why Date Nights?

Why Date Nights?

 There is something about "dating" that creates a sense of
magic in a relationship.  Most people know they should have date
nights but don't really think about all the great reasons why they
should.

Here are some positive influences a date can have on your
relationship whether you are still courting or have been wed for 50
years.

* You tend to take some extra effort on your appearance, making
sure you are crisp and clean for your mate and the public you are
going to face. Looking good tends to make you feel good.

* When you make time for a date, you generally become more relaxed.
Too much tension can cause havoc in relationships.

* Gets you out of a rut.  Relationships that rarely try anything
new are bound to get stale.  A variety of date nights keep things
fresh and interesting.  Boredom is a common cause for many divorces.

* Good conversations are difficult to have in five-minute
increments. Dates allow you to have an hour or more of
uninterrupted time to communicate on a deeper level.  Don't make
the mistake, however, of trying to resolve conflicts on dates.
Date nights shouldn't turn into a weekly gripe session.

* Experiences you share as a couple naturally draw you closer
together. The more things you do together, the more compatible you become.

Becoming The Woman that a Man will Adore: pt.2

Becoming The Woman that a Man will Adore: pt.2

A lot of the problems women have in their relationships stem from a lack of understanding, in other words they have no idea why men act the way they do. In fact, they often don’t know why they act the way they do so it’s no surprise women have trouble deciphering their responses.

What many women don’t seem to understand is that men are completely different. They process information differently, they relate to one another differently, they express themselves differently. However, a woman who understands these differences will become a Priceless Gem that a Man will Adore.

In fact, it is these exact differences between men and women that spark Passion and Love because without it, both men and women would be lost. Yes, it is quite possible to understand men and it is probably easier for women to understand them than the other way around.First of all, you need to understand that men are primarily driven by Success and Accomplishment. They value tangible results, efficiency and power and everything they do is geared towards proving themselves.

Men won’t sit around and talk about their feelings, instead they prefer to engage in Competitive Activities where they can Win. It gives them the chance to show off their superiority over other males; which is all testosterone induce, but that's another story. You won’t find many men reading the latest issue of People or Cosmo but instead he will read the sports section of the paper or the news. He cares little about romance novels because he is more interested in things rather than feelings.

And he likes things that help him express Power, whether a fancy sports car or the latest gadgets and gizmos. Men are goal Driven and they feel good about themselves when they manage to Achieve their goals because they prove that they are Worthy and Competent. If they do so on their own then that is an even greater testament to their Power and Strength. Because men are hardwired to solve their problems on their own they rarely talk about them.

When they do, it means they need advice and help.If women can understand this side of men, then they will understand why men hate being corrected or advised without asking for it. It makes them feel incompetent and they feel that you don’t trust them to solve the problem.This is also why men tend to offer solutions when women talk to them about their problems. It is because if another man were to share his problems, it is an unspoken request for help so he feels honored to provide a solution.

When he provides a Solution for the woman he Loves, it is an expression of his Love but when a woman gets upset because she perceives that he isn’t listening or emphasizing he has no idea what he did to upset her. The result is that he withdraws and basically blocks her out. Men also deal with stress differently than women do. A woman will talk about all her problems with her friends, who will instinctively know that she needs a little support and understanding so they empathize.

On the other hand, men tend to withdraw and focus on a different activity so that they can regroup on their problems while still thinking to find a solution to solve their problem. Unfortunately, most women think that he doesn’t care about her or is ignoring her because he isn’t talking about his problems with her when it’s simply a matter of how men deal with stress differently than women.

You have to accept the fact that it is unrealistic to expect a man to open up immediately to you when he is stressed just as it is unrealistic for a man to expect you to calm down and be rational and logical all the time. You need to understand that if he withdraws to watch football or read the newspaper, it doesn’t mean he doesn’t Love You, it simply means he is very stressed. You need to learn not to take it Personally and to give him a little Space, ( not too much )

Also, if you ask for his attention in a calm and relaxed manner you will find he will be much more responsive than if you start the blame game.        To be continued :)