Three Layers of Intimacy 

Intimacy is defined as a close, familiar, affectionate and loving relationship with another person. Even on its surface, the word is charged while cutting across multiple aspects of relationships. Culture squashes the word into a tiny box making it palatable for everyone and not challenging anyone. For couples to endure, their understanding of intimacy must extend beyond the traditional or simple delving into deeper areas of closeness, familiarity, love and affection.

Physical

In a culture obsessed with the physical, the simplest forms of intimacy fall into the purview of the body. Some of the greatest negotiations in a relationship can center around physical intimacy. From the first kiss to more personal acts, this is a dance played out starting with the first flirtations.

 Nervous teenagers are not the only ones to wonder if the first date will end in locking lips. Even the ones who know the final page of the date grow nervous when walked to the front door at the end of the evening because of intimacy of the act of kissing another person.

On a baseline level, physical intimacy cannot be pushed aside as a strictly biological hurdle to be bypassed. The excruciating sweetness of being near another person makes all the nerves and risk worth it. Even as it is important, physical intimacy is not the pinnacle of connection. Physical closeness does whisper delicious promises of deep depths than anyone else dares to dream of.


Communication

Intimacy in the midst of conversation reveals a great deal about the person. It can disclose dreams, hopes and the most fervent wants. Words, though sometimes crude tools, possess the gift to grant greater insight into the person in the relationships than any physical act alone could ever hope to ensnare.

This intimacy sits firmly between physical intimacy and deeper waters because some of the first things shared can be the ways in which physical pleasure can be granted and received. 

It takes courage to stop a partner and request they linger on a neglected patch of flesh. The receiver gains greater insight into their partner and the sharer feels appreciated and closer to the other person. This communication is never limited to the corporeal, immediate or temporary. It can be a first and important step.  

Emotional

The heart represents one of the deepest levels of intimacy for a couple. The heart holds so much in the way of seeing a person for who they are with the pains they have suffered, the hopes they strive for and the ways in which they seek to protect themselves. Imagine if a partner possess access to all of these things. How close would a couple be? How well would they know one another? How much love could they experience and express?

A couple without higher forms of intimacy may find this level almost impossible to reach without an intermediary. They may not feel safe around the other person. They might not feel as though their needs matter. This is why physical connection leads to speaking about such closeness and ends up revealing the deeper parts of themselves.

 While challenging, the sweetness of knowing someone on this level can only be matched by someone being know in a similar manner creating the best infinite positive feedback loop.

Couples must step beyond what is easy and into what is deeply hard. Only in the center of a relationship filled with deep intimacy can all the benefits of lasting, passion love blossom. Take the chance to be as intimate with someone safe and taste the ambrosia of true love.

How To Increase Chemistry In Relationships

 

How To Increase Chemistry In Relationships

Think chemistry in relationships is something that “just happens?” If you do, the truth might surprise you. Sure, you probably can’t create chemistry where none exists, but if that initial spark is there, there’s plenty you can do to fan the flames.

Understand what chemistry is!

If you’ve never really felt strong chemistry with another person, it can be hard to get an idea of what it is. What most people call chemistry is a sense that the two of you are just meant to be together. You’re both perfectly at ease with each other and have a strong physical attraction for each other. While it might have something to do with looks and pheromones, most of it is mental. It comes from you and your sweetie having the same beliefs, dreams, and maybe even habits and pet peeves.

Develop a rapport!

Before you can build up any chemistry, you need to have a good rapport first. If you’ve only seen each other for one or two dates, that rapport may not quite be there yet. To create it, look for a conversation topic you can really bond over. Just make sure it’s something pleasant and low-stress, though. You may discover you both love discussing ways to end famine in Africa, but that subject doesn’t help your partner associate you with pleasure and fun.

Use humor!

Laughter is not only fun, it also makes us feel at ease with another person. You don’t have to be a professional comedian. Even an attempt at humor in your own style can work. Just keep it clean and neutral so you don’t offend your date right off the bat.

Adrenaline is your friend!

Studies have shown that couples who met in an exciting situation—whether pleasurable or not—tend to find each other more attractive. More so than couples who met under normal circumstances. It works because the mind associates any excitement with the person we’re with at the time and mistakes it for physical attraction. Make use of this by planning a date that will get the adrenaline pumping like a scary movie, a roller coaster ride, or even whitewater rafting.

Express yourself!

You can’t have chemistry in relationships with people who don’t know the real you. Instead of keeping your opinions to yourself in hopes of hiding anything your partner might not like about you, make it a point to share your thoughts and feelings about important issues. Sometimes just a single off-hand comment can make your date fall for you hard.

Enhance the physical!

Some tips for how to increase chemistry in relationships will tell you to touch your date on the knee or arm early on. You want to be careful with that, though. Get physical too early on and you could just end up turning your partner off. Instead, start by just talking about what physical features you each find most attractive in the opposite sex and then using the info you gain to your advantage.

Chemistry in relationships may be mysterious and hard to control, but that doesn’t mean you can’t help it along a little. Make sure you start with a good rapport, throw in a little humor and excitement and you’ll be off to a good start.

A Promise is a Promise

A Promise is a Promise

I can't promise you that dark clouds will never hover over our lives or that the future will bring us many rainbows every day. I can't promise you that tomorrow will be perfect,because it never is or that life will be easy.

I can promise you my everlasting devotion, my loyalty ,my respect,and my unconditional love for you as long as we share our lives together.

I can promise that I'll always be there for you, to listen and to hold your hand,and I'll always do my best to make you happy, and make you feel loved.

I can promise that I'll see you through any crisis,and hope with you, build dreams with you,and always cheer you on and encourage you.

I'll willingly be your husband, protector, your adviser, your counselor, your friend, and your exclusive love only in this life and into the next, Because a promise is a promise for life:)

7 Ways to Build Trust in a Relationship

7 Ways to Build Trust in a Relationship 

Do you know these 7 concrete ways to build trust in a relationship?

Often, what really makes a relationship work are not the things we think of first. For instance, do you think you always need to spice things up? Wrong!

Predictability is more important than variety in a relationship. The following seven methods are Guaranteed to Grow your connection by improving the level of Trust in a relationship:)

First, as I mentioned in the opening paragraph, you need to be predictable.

This goes against the common notion that you need to stir things up to keep the Romance Alive ( This doesn't apply to the dead and half dead ones aka: not Interested )

Sure, going to a new restaurant or giving a surprise gift can be nice, but most of all, we need things to be Consistent and Steady in order to make our Relationships Work:)

Consider that Trust in a relationship is built on being reliable day in and day out. ( YEA!!)

Next, you need to make sure that your Words always Match the Message.( Ladies and Gentlemen, please take heed of this)

This means that your partner needs to hear the words which match whats in your Heart and body language:)

If you say you are Happy but you are frowning, your partner doesn't hear your words, he or she sees your face and the tone in your voice:(

Your partner needs to be able to Trust what you are saying. When the Words match the Message, you build Trust in a relationship:)

Third, you need to have a fundamental belief in your partners Competency. If you don't you won't have the trust in a relationship that you need.

When lovingly communicated, the Truth is never destructive. When you do not believe that your partner is competent at some things (or indeed, anything), you violate the trust in a relationship:(

Don't keep secrets. Secrets destroy the trust in a relationship. Be honest and open. Assume everything you know will eventually come out.

Secrets require enormous energy on your part. That is energy that could be going into building the relationship:)

Fifth, don't be Afraid to let your partner know what your Needs are:)

Don't make him or her guess what you need. Let them know. It is okay to be self-concerned as long as you are not selfish.

Indeed, if you are reluctant to assert your needs, you may go overboard in the opposite direction and smother your partner.

Sixth, learn to say no. When your partner voices his or her needs, that is a good thing.

But you don't need to say yes to everything. A partner cannot respect you if you never say no. Refusing to be subjugated to the other persons will actually builds Trust in a relationship.

Finally, always pursue Growth. When you plant a flower, you begin by digging in the dirt.

Digging in the dirt of our relationships can sometimes cause pain. But, through that pain, we prepare the soil for future Growth:)

Don't be afraid of Turmoil, Crisis, or Questions. These become the fertilizer for Growth and Change. Embrace what may appear to be difficult:)

When you decide to work on Trust in a relationship, you are bound to encounter a little pain.

But, as you work through this pain, you will not only become Stronger as an individual, you will also strengthen your Love for each other:)

And isn't that the Ultimate Goal?

 
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Walking on egg shells!

Walking on egg shells!

Has anyone ever told you, that's how they feel around you? If they have, it's a huge red flag and one that should not be ignored. It needs to be dealt with immediately.

Relationships are a tough challenging part of our lives. Especially when dealing with matters of the heart. As truly good as they make you feel, they can in turn tear you apart from the inside in a heartbeat. When the red flags start to rise up, that's when your relationship is crying out for help. You need to address it, as if a baby was crying out to you.

When someone says they feel like they are walking on egg shells, what is that telling you? It's telling you that they can no longer be themselves in your presence. that they fear your reaction whenever they speak. that they are stuck, that they cannot move in either direction, for fear of upsetting you.

It is also telling you that they need to stop this feeling that is tearing them apart. Many of us are guilty for causing these prison bars that surround our loved ones. We do not even realize that our own fears are doing this to them. We are so caught up in ourselves that we are blind to the world that we have created for them.

Through our own fears we hear what they say in all the wrong languages. We interpret them through our weaknesses and turn what they say all upside down. Some of us react irrationally, forcing our partner to either take cover and hide or even worse become irrational themselves. This is when we both become deaf and blind.

When the relationship war begins, there are no winners, only victims. What once was Love, Kisses and Smiles has turned into an ugly vicious battle ground of snarls, hate, and searching for the lowest hit we can aim for. Wow, how does this happen so fast? We as humans are notorious for ruining so many very good things out of pure bad habits.

No one wants to lose or be the one saying, "I am sorry" every five minutes, nor should a real relationship become a win/lose situation either. Who wants to walk on egg shells? Then again, no one wants to have to defend their every breathe to someone they thought loved them unconditionally and are committed to. Walking on egg shells sinks!

If we cannot be ourselves with the one we love, then who can we be that with?

This is not to say that a person should disrespect the other. When you know that something troubles the other person or makes them feel truly uncomfortable, it should go without saying that it is just not done. That is true respect. Why would you want to do something to hurt your best friend or even make your loved one feel out of place?

In new relationships it does take time to get things organized as in any new situation. Moving into a new house, a new job, having a baby, or even planning a trip, we have to reorganize to accommodate our now lives. committing to another person is just the beginning of the book. It is just the title. Now you have to write the story and yes, make a few corrections along the way on both parts, but the trick is to constantly compare each others notes.

Remember this: staying on the same page is what your relationship is all about. When we make a commitment to another person through love, we are taking on a responsibility to share our love and life with that person. We are silently telling them that we are now going to take in consideration their feelings as well as our own. Your once single-self life has now become a two-self life. This does not mean that you stop breathing and living. It just means that you are now sharing your life with this chosen person.

It opens up a whole new world of respect. Remember also that you cannot gain respect if you do not offer respect. Life becomes a definite two-way street when two hearts are involved. There are also two minds working in this relationship now; two minds that are of opposite genders, two minds that will collide now and then. This is not a bad thing. We need to have differences to add spice to our lives.

Be very careful of starting the "Poor Me", habit. This is another relationship red flag to watch for.

Remember, walking on egg shells? If one partner becomes so caught up in their own worries and fails to share this with their partner, it will sneak in between you both and begin to build a very strong wall of negative habits. You will know these negative habits well, jealousy, mistrust, low self-esteem and total loneliness. When your partner begins to feel they are slipping away from you, grab on and do not for a minute take that red flag for granted.

Listen hard to their worries and love them more, not necessarily better. Just show more of your love. If they keep slipping away, then there is either nothing left to save or they need help outside of your relationship. It is so important to know your partner. Only then can you realize when they are in trouble. Do not allow your relationship to become the wallpaper in your house. No one wants to be a wallflower. No one with any self-respect that is.

When there are no negative habits, there is no walking on eggshells. How much more simpler can it get. We are an intelligent species, so let us act intelligent when we decide to commit to another person. This is two lives we are dealing with here, not just another Hollywood movie. We are all going to age and all of us are going to notice our body parts going south.

Guess what, no one is above that law. When you have found a true love, and are willing to invest your life with that person, please do not allow material things or negative fantasy ideals to come between you. It really is not worth it. When you feel unsure of something ,or you feel negative emotions taking control of your mind, reach out to your partner. Don't walk on egg shells.

Do not turn it into a war against your partner. Use all of your love to fight the negative relationship habits.

Love is worth it. We all have our good and challenging days. Some have more than others. So when it's a good day, then make it a really good day. Those are always remembered the longest. Don't walk on egg shells. We have to love ourselves First, then and only then can we love another!

Tell each other often what you saw in each other, what you see now. Being reminded why we are "The One" helps us to act that way.

 :

Door Mat Syndrome

"Door Mat syndrome".

Oh this is a very bad thing for couples to allow to take hold of their relationship.

In many cases one partner has taken hold of it and falls into a control habit. This is something that plagues many relationships. When does one partner become the owner? I will use that word because it shows possession and control.

This happens because it can. Some one has allowed this ownership to take place. STOP allowing this, please. A partnership, relationship, commitment, whatever you want to call it, is an EQUAL understanding of Respect and Love. There are no owners and no bosses. No one is above the other. Man should Respect Woman and vice-verse:)

This is a must in order to make a Relationship Strong enough to not allow negative habits any control. We must Strive hard to want for each other, aka: our mates; what we want for ourselves. Its all about having a Tag- Team partner Love Relationship; Me for You and You for Me; Equality for both equals a Love Commitment in this Life and into the Next:)

" Keep Your Love Alive"

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Learn How to Get Him Back

In response to many questions asked on How Can I Get Him Back??

Learn How to Get Him Back:

Ladies, are you yearning for the good old days and hoping to rekindle a lost romance?

Are you interested in giving a tumultuous relationship another chance? Follow these steps detailed below and you can learn how to get him back:)

1 - Keep in mind, first and foremost, that patience is a virtue. Do not rush anything, but rather start things off with a simple small whenever you pass your ex, or waving and saying hello every so often.

You should maintain eye contact so that he knows you are communicating with him and not with somebody else, but do not let it go much further than this.

2 - Try slowly implementing conversation in again, making an attempt to talk to him when you can. Remember that you should keep your conversation brief, and rather basic in nature.

Do not reveal too much, because mystery is actually quite a bit appealing for many men. Also, if you run into him at a party or a social gathering, if your friends come into the room, you may consider stopping the conversation to return to them.

This will let him know that while the communication between the two of you is nice, he is not your highest priority right now.

3 - Keep things fresh. Make sure that you look good, and smell good, and that you keep things changed up on a fairly regular basis in order to keep him interested in you.

You should put some thought into your appearance because maintaining your good looks will show confidence and respect for yourself and your body which is something that most men find quite attractive.

4 - Don't be afraid to throw a few honest compliments out there every so often. You are going to want to make sure that your ex feels good any time he is around you if you really want to get your ex back.

Talk about the good times that you and he spent together, bringing up good memories from the past. Help him remember some of the best highlights from the days of your relationship and enjoy the reminiscing while simultaneously working to get him back.

Try to become your ex's friend first and foremost, because if he wants you back, he will eventually let you know. Be his friend, open up to him, show him a nice time, and if his feelings for you are rekindled, he will let you know.

Take things slowly and don't act too needy. Instead, just play it cool and let him come to you. If things are meant to be, they will be, and you will learn how to get him back through the process.

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P.S.

The Magic is in the Making Up :)

Learn How To Get Her Back

Learn How To Get Her Back

If you really think that you and your ex are meant to get back together, then you need to learn how to get her back.
Learning how to get her back is not necessarily difficult, but it does take some thinking and some planning if you really do want to get the results you seek.

Though it may seem counter intuitive when rekindling the relationship is what you seek, if you want to learn how to get her back you need to begin by cutting off communication for a while.
This is going to be tough, and it may even feel as if it is killing you, but it will be killing her even more.
After a little bit of time she will begin to realize how much she really needs you, and how much she desperately misses you.

Cutting off communication is one of the biggest and most vital steps in rekindling things with your ex.
Allow yourself to recover emotionally. If you want to learn how to get her back, you need to take the time to become emotionally controlled and calmed down.
Women dislike men who are desperate, clingy or needy, so pull your life together and get over those feelings long before you consider trying to draw her back in to your life.


Behave as if nothing is bothering you. In other words, if you want to learn how to get her back, you need to play it cool.
She is not going to want to take you back if you are feeling and behaving depressed.
You need to make sure that you are behaving as if you are having a good time, overcoming the break up depression to let her know that everything is okay.
Always look your best. Make sure that you are dressed to Impress and look your best all the time.

She won't be able to resist you, hands down. Appearance can play a large role in showing your ex that you're moving on and look great.
If you look great and take the time to look your best, your ex will notice, and will respond positively:)

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P.S. The Magic is in the Making Up:)