Is There Hope To Save A Marriage

Is There Hope To Save A Marriage


With divorce as common as it is these days, it's easy to understand why so many with marital troubles start to wonder, Is there hope to save a marriage once it really hits the skids? Is there really no turning back? 

The good news is that there are realistic reasons to believe that you can bring your marriage back from the brink of divorce. Not only that, but you can use the opportunity to build an even closer and richer relationship than you had before. So the answer to the question, Is there hope to save a marriage? is definitely Yes!

Second chances work!

In the late 1980's, the National Survey of Families and Households in the US tracked 645 spouses who rated their marriages as unhappy. The survey found that those who agreed to put off divorce and give the marriage a second chance rated their marriage as happy five years later. Sometimes it's just a matter of taking a deep breath and agreeing to invest some time in working through your problems.

Where's the love?

Marriage counselors rely on the fact that no matter how much some couples argue, most still have a basic respect and concern for each other. After all, unless you're in an arranged marriage, you chose your partner because you saw a good amount of positive qualities in them.
 Those qualities are still there, even though you might not see them as clearly today or other less appetizing personality traits have cropped up in front of them. If you can remember the good times, you stand a good chance of reviving the positive feelings you had for each other and using those as a springboard for making up.

You can change things by yourself!

One of the biggest misconceptions about rescuing a marriage is that both sides have to want to save it. While it's true that both sides have to give up the idea of divorce eventually, one spouse alone can still take steps to turn things around and buy a little time while the other reconsiders. The reason is that if you change your approach to your spouse, they'll naturally change their behavior, too, and you start a positive cycle of improvement.

Right advice helps!

The trouble with relying on your own judgment alone to make up with your spouse is that you're too close to the problem. To make matters worse, this is such an emotionally charged issue that even the most stable, logical person can easily  overreact. That's why having input from a knowledgeable, neutral third party is so invaluable. A marriage counselor is the obvious choice, but if you can't afford one or your partner refuses to go, there are other sources of advice such as the marriage self-help e books available online or at your local bookstore.

Before you start thinking the only answer to the question, Is there hope to save a marriage? is No, take a deep breath and look at the realities. If you can get your spouse to agree to work out your problems together, you stand an excellent chance of avoiding divorce. Even if you,re the only one who wants to stay together, though, you can still turn things around just by changing your own behavior.

Get a Man To Marry You

 

 Get a Man To Marry You

 Using an ultimatum to get that sought after wedding ring is like committing relationship suicide. If you feel the need to present your boyfriend with an ultimatum concerning your relationship, it MUST be authentic!

 

What it means: When it comes to women who so badly want to be engaged to their boyfriend, ultimatums are a commonplace. The waiting game drives desperation (especially if she has been waiting for more than a year or two to get engaged) and desperation can lead to threats!

 

Yes, ultimatum is just a fancy word for "threat".  Women who throw marriage ultimatums at their boyfriends obviously don't realize that this kind of pressure and "all or nothing" attitude commonly results in the demise of the relationship.

 

When is an ultimatum acceptable?

 Only when you are ready to deal with the truth and act on the response! If you give your boyfriend a "now or never" lecture, you best be prepared to pack your bags and leave if he comes back with a "never" response. Staying in a relationship after he says "never" will only result in your losing all credibility and leverage in the relationship.

 

Bottom Line: Only give an ultimatum if you're ready to hear the truth and are willing to act on it, whatever the response may be. 

 

NOTE: Here's a much better way to get him to pop the question WITHOUT using threats and dangerous ultimatums."

Is There A Secret To Relationships

Is There A Secret To Relationships


 If there were a magic secret to relationships, someone would have already bottled it and made millions of dollars. But there are several ways to make your relationship strong and give it the best chance of lasting a lifetime. Most of them are common sense and some are just reminders of when the relationship was new. None of them is really a secret.

 Love. It's not enough to love your partner, but you have to show them that you love them often. You should never be in a relationship if you don't feel genuine love for someone, and feel comfortable expressing it.

Respect. If you don't respect the person you're with, there's little hope for the relationship. If you laugh at your partner, feel he or she is often a joke, dumb or worthy of some kind of scorn, then what's the point?

 Kindness. Treat your partner with kindness always. A secret to relationships is to be as courteous when you're alone and not feeling thrilled at that moment as you would with a stranger on the street.

Thoughtfulness. Put your partner's needs and desires at the top of your list. Little gestures are often some of the most powerful.

 Honesty. Lies can ruin a relationship quickly, even if they're lies about nothing important. Don't do anything deceptive and you'll never have to lie in the first place.

 All of those are important to a relationship and may be called the secret to relationships. But you really need all of them for a good relationship, and they're things everyone already knows. The hard part can be figuring out how to express some of them.

 Honest is pretty easy to show. Simply be open and honest during conversations. Don't be afraid to let your partner see your true self, especially when you feel scared, sad, lonely or vulnerable. Showing respect and showing kindness can go hand in hand. By treating your partner with respect, you show that you support them. You'll back them up in their ideas and actions because you respect and believe in them. Even when you don't necessarily feel they're doing the right thing, you can respect their decision and be kind in your words about it.

 Disagreeing pleasantly is a so-called secret to relationships. Thoughtfulness and love can be expressed hand in hand, too. Telling your partner that you love them is one way to express love. But maybe they will feel more loved when you reach out and rub there shoulders for a minute as you pass. Or you balance the checkbook so they didn't have to do it.

 People perceive love differently. If you can find what your partner perceives as the most loving thing then do that. You're expressing your love perfectly for that person. And you're being thoughtful, too. You're thinking of that person and trying to make them happy. If you combine these things and apply them, then you've found the secret to relationships that can make your partnership a happy one.

Are Those Are You Really In Love Quizzes Really Accurate

Are Those Are You Really In Love Quizzes Really Accurate

Are you really in love? Quizzes can help you find out, but you have to make sure you take the right ones. Take one of those short little tests you find in popular magazines and you'll probably just end up even more confused than you were before. Before you make that mistake, here are some guidelines for finding a good quiz.

What the Quiz Can Tell You

Most of the time, it's hard to go wrong with trusting your gut instincts. For instance, if you feel like you're in danger, it's nearly always a good idea to get out of the situation even if there's no obvious sign of danger.

Well, the problem here is that both love and infatuation are such powerful emotions they cloud your ability to tell which is which (Yeah, like you really need me to tell you that). Sometimes, you just can't trust your instincts to lead you to a good relationship.

By asking questions that help separate feelings that could lead to deep, long-lasting love from those that will disappear. Are you really in love quizzes keep you from wasting energy on mere infatuation or lust. Even more importantly, they then help you from getting sucked into what could be a very unpleasant, messy romantic entanglement.

What the Quiz Should Ask You

If you actually want to get some real benefits from taking one of the are you really in love quizzes available, you need to know how to sort the accurate ones from the useless ones. Usually, just glancing through the questions will give you a good idea of how accurate the quiz will be. This is usually easy enough to tell by glancing at the questions. The quiz should be asking such things as whether you are willing to share your deepest secrets with this person or is he/she in the top 5 of the people you respect above all others.

It should also include questions that help you separate initial infatuation that could bloom into a deeper, true love from feelings that aren't likely to lead to anything serious. The test should ask how your love makes you feel about yourself, what emotions characterize your relationship, and how much you sacrifice for your partner. Questions like these zero in on common differences between love, infatuation, and lust.

Where to Find Quality Quizzes

As I mentioned above, popular magazines really aren't the best places to find quizzes. The problem is, unless the writer's bio is included, you can't be sure the person who created the quiz is a true expert on relationships or not. That's why it's better to look for quizzes in books and Web sites written by credible relationship experts.

Taking a few well designed quizzes can give you a lot of insight into whether or not your relationship has any real future. Finding out early on if your relationship is on the wrong track can save you a lot of stress and heartache in the long run. Just make sure you get your quiz from a credible source, be completely honest in your answers, and read the results of are you really in love quizzes with an open mind.

Understanding The Wife Husband Relationship

 Understanding The Wife Husband Relationship


The wife husband relationship can be a complicated one. Many marriages fail because one or both partners don't really understand the dynamic of the relationship. If even one person has a basic understanding of it, the marriage is bound to be stronger. But if both people understand how a wife husband relationship works, then it has the best chance of being a good marriage.

One of the keys to understanding the wife husband relationship is to realize just how different men and women really are. Aside from the obvious physical differences, the sexes are different emotionally and mentally, too.

When faced with a problem, for instance, men and women tend to approach it from completely different angles. Women are more likely to discuss it with other people. They might get advice and input from a few friends. It's not uncommon for women to talk about the problem at length.

That's because women solve problems when they talk about them. They explore all the angles of the issue and how they feel about it, and often in doing so a solution appears.

Men, on the other hand, tend to be more tight-lipped about problems. They think about it more than they talk about it. It's more common for a man to ponder a problem and say little until he's figured out the solution.

In the wife husband relationship this difference in problem solving can itself be a problem. He might think that she's talking it to death when she should be trying to figure it out herself. And she might think he's not even worried about something because he's not talking about it. When in reality, it's on his mind all the time and he's just not pointing it out.

Sometimes, women tend to talk about things that they don't necessarily want help with, or advice about. They simply want someone to listen to their opinion and thoughts. Where if a man is talking about something, it's because he wants an answer.

If a woman is talking about something just to get it off her chest or vent, other women tend to get that and offer support. They don't try to tell her what to do for the most part, but simply join in the conversation in empathy.

A man might simply state a solution and tell the woman what she should do, thinking he's being very helpful and doing what he's supposed to. But in reality, the woman will feel that he's not listening and instead just trying to end the conversation.

Of course, not every wife husband relationship will happen exactly like these examples. Some men will talk out a problem and some women will be tight-lipped about it. But in general, the sexes can be expected to follow these typically patterns.

Understanding those patterns can help you stop yourself before you do something that's natural to you. You can think about what your partner needs from you instead, and do that .Your wife husband relationship will be much stronger and happier because of it.

How To Increase Chemistry In Relationships

 

How To Increase Chemistry In Relationships

Think chemistry in relationships is something that “just happens?” If you do, the truth might surprise you. Sure, you probably can’t create chemistry where none exists, but if that initial spark is there, there’s plenty you can do to fan the flames.

Understand what chemistry is!

If you’ve never really felt strong chemistry with another person, it can be hard to get an idea of what it is. What most people call chemistry is a sense that the two of you are just meant to be together. You’re both perfectly at ease with each other and have a strong physical attraction for each other. While it might have something to do with looks and pheromones, most of it is mental. It comes from you and your sweetie having the same beliefs, dreams, and maybe even habits and pet peeves.

Develop a rapport!

Before you can build up any chemistry, you need to have a good rapport first. If you’ve only seen each other for one or two dates, that rapport may not quite be there yet. To create it, look for a conversation topic you can really bond over. Just make sure it’s something pleasant and low-stress, though. You may discover you both love discussing ways to end famine in Africa, but that subject doesn’t help your partner associate you with pleasure and fun.

Use humor!

Laughter is not only fun, it also makes us feel at ease with another person. You don’t have to be a professional comedian. Even an attempt at humor in your own style can work. Just keep it clean and neutral so you don’t offend your date right off the bat.

Adrenaline is your friend!

Studies have shown that couples who met in an exciting situation—whether pleasurable or not—tend to find each other more attractive. More so than couples who met under normal circumstances. It works because the mind associates any excitement with the person we’re with at the time and mistakes it for physical attraction. Make use of this by planning a date that will get the adrenaline pumping like a scary movie, a roller coaster ride, or even whitewater rafting.

Express yourself!

You can’t have chemistry in relationships with people who don’t know the real you. Instead of keeping your opinions to yourself in hopes of hiding anything your partner might not like about you, make it a point to share your thoughts and feelings about important issues. Sometimes just a single off-hand comment can make your date fall for you hard.

Enhance the physical!

Some tips for how to increase chemistry in relationships will tell you to touch your date on the knee or arm early on. You want to be careful with that, though. Get physical too early on and you could just end up turning your partner off. Instead, start by just talking about what physical features you each find most attractive in the opposite sex and then using the info you gain to your advantage.

Chemistry in relationships may be mysterious and hard to control, but that doesn’t mean you can’t help it along a little. Make sure you start with a good rapport, throw in a little humor and excitement and you’ll be off to a good start.

The Best Spouse Relationships

The Best Spouse Relationships

The best spouse relationships are based on love and respect. That goes without saying, doesn't it? Everyone probably realizes that love and respect are crucial to having a good marriage. But beyond love and respect there are a few things that can help spouse relationships.

Think back to when you were first married. If you're newly married, think back to when you first met and were dating. How did you treat your partner?  You probably treated your partner with respect, but also with kindness and thoughtfulness.

Unfortunately, it's common that the longer we know someone, the less kind we tend to be toward them. One would think that the opposite holds true. But we start to take the other person for granted and think they'll always be there, no matter what.

Think of the last time you went to the bank or grocery store and spoke to the cashier. Maybe you exchanged words with a stranger. How was the tone of your voice and your words?

You probably sounded like the sweetest person on the planet. That person might have thought how polite when you walked away.

Now think to the words and the tone of the voice you use with your spouse sometimes. When you get angry or you're unhappy about something, think about how you sound.

 Would you ever speak that way to a stranger?  If you're thinking probably not then you've started taking advantage of your spouse.

People do it with close friends, parents and children, too. If we could record people's conversations and play them back at a different time, people might be ashamed of how they sounded.

 And they probably wouldn't speak that way to someone they didn't know well for fear of hurting their feelings!

Good spouse relationships are kind ones. Everyone gets angry now and then. And yes, everyone says things he or she regrets in an angry and even hateful tone of voice.  But you can keep these instances to a minimum by just thinking about whether you'd talk to your postman or your boss that way.

Thoughtfulness is also an important factor in good spouse relationships. People love their spouses, but it seems the longer they're together, the less they sometimes show it. Your spouse is the one person you should make a point of being thoughtful towards, always.

In the beginning when you're first dating someone or first married, you might send (or receive) flowers, cards and little surprises. Generally after people are married for a while, these sorts of things slow down or stop. Why ?

 Remembering to be thoughtful and surprise your spouse can help makes yours one of the better spouse relationships. Try to keep in mind that marriage isn't written in stone. There really are other opportunities out there for your spouse. Bring back some of the things you did and said when you were trying to win this person.

 Be kind and thoughtful as much as you can. Those combined with love and respect will make yours one of the enduring spouse relationships of a life time.

4 Great Lessons From Relationships Experts

4 Great Lessons From Relationships Experts

If you've read or listened to relationships experts, you know that some of what they say is just common sense. They tell us things we already know, but they're great at putting it into words and examples that make things easier to understand. The best relationships experts just know how to communicate.

They can take those common sense things and say them in a way that makes you get it. Like the concept of  what to expect and what to give in a relationship. This is one of the best lessons you can get from relationships experts.

Very often we go along in a relationship and as time goes on we start to take the other person for granted a little bit. We don't thank them as much, and sometimes we don't do nice things in return for them quite as much.

It's not that we don't want to, but that we simply forget or think there will be time later. After the relationship hit a rocky period or ended. We start to remember to be thoughtful and kind. And it becomes very important to us.. Relationships experts stress that as a good way to keep a relationship strong.

A second great lesson from the experts is to do what the other person will appreciate. This is another great common sense lesson that's all too easy to overlook. It applies to anytime during a relationship but after you've gotten back together from a break up or other bad patches it's even more important.

To do what the other person wants doesn't mean you should never consider yourself. But you should try to do what appeals to them to show them that you care. If it really makes you happy when your boyfriend or husband helps you wash the dishes, then maybe if you helped him with some housework that would make him feel loved, too.

But there may be ways he likes to feel loved that are different. He might be the type of person who likes to hear you say it often, or likes romantic gestures. Even if those things aren't as important to you, you need to do the things that are special to him.

Sometimes we forget that, or we just assume that everyone responds to the same things. But doing what makes the other person feel most special is easy to do, as long as we remind ourselves to do it.

And a lesson that the experts teach that often goes forgotten is respect. Of course, you respect your boyfriend, girlfriend, husband or wife but does it always show?  This is part of taking them for granted but goes beyond not thanking them or returning loving gestures.

Often, the person we're closest to gets the brunt of our worst days. We might be late for something and keep them waiting, or we might just accidentally be inconsiderate and not apologize enough. Take a lesson from the relationships experts and ask yourself if you treat your partner with the same respect you would treat a parents or co-worker :)

How To Get Your Relationships Needs Met

How To Get Your Relationships Needs Met

If you can get your relationships needs met, the relationship has a better chance of being long and happy. Not having your needs met is one of the biggest reasons relationships don't work out. It's especially important to have your relationships needs met to stay happy and stay together.
The surefire way to get your needs met in a relationship is by making sure the other person knows just what those needs are. You can't read minds, and you shouldn't expert your partner to be able to read minds either. He or she wants to make sure your relationships needs are met, so tell them what they are.

At the same time, encourage your partner to tell you the needs he or she feels are important. You might be surprised to learn, if you've never had this conversation before, how different your needs might be.

You might feel the need for you partner to tell you he loves you often, so may you do that for him. He no doubt enjoys that, but maybe what he really needs is for you to do quick considerate things to make him feel special. Some people like to be told, and some people like to be shown.

Simply having a discussion about your relationships needs can strengthen the relationship and make it easier for you to keep each other happy. If you're uncomfortable having such a frank discussion, you should do it anyway. Telling each other your needs is better than hinting or expecting them to be psychic.

You may really need your partner to be more helpful to you. But when it's time to clean or wash dishes you do them alone, yet again. And instead of simply asking for help or letting him know that it would mean a lot to you if he would do them sometimes or do them with you. But instead you get angry.

You might huff around while you're doing them, slam a cabinet, or act otherwise out. This is passive aggressive behavior. You're trying to manipulate him into helping you by acting that way. It's much better and healthier to simply ask for help.

Passive aggressive behavior is common in relationships, and it's a worsening cycle because it doesn't work. If he does take your hint, it's only after you've acted upon being angry and resentful. So his doing the dishes might be only to keep you from acting that way.

If you ask for help and explain that it makes you feel good when he wants to help you, then he's coming at the task from a place of love and helpfulness. He doesn't feel a sense guilt into doing it, so it's better for everyone.

This applies to things like showing affection, respecting each others feelings, and every aspect of your relationship. When you want something, ask for it, and be prepared to give your partner what he or she asks for to make sure all your relationships needs are met.

SUBJ: Finally...WHY MEN PULL AWAY...(and what you can do about it)

    

SUBJ: Finally...WHY MEN PULL AWAY...(and what you can do about it)


 
Hello there,  Dr. Paul here.....You made it back again ( yea !)

If you're up to it...I've got something I want to ask you?

And then let's have a little discussion...okay?

Here's my question?

It's likely you've experienced a time when you felt like your guy was "pulling a-w-a-y" from you...

Many times, to make it more maddening, it seems like it happens right after you two had a fantastic time together and seemed to connect...right?

Which leaves you totally freaked out because you don't know what the heck happened?

Was it because?

...you've moved too fast?...

...was it something you did?

...or is it just him?

My question...and I know it's a sensitive one is...

Have you ever felt like it was because HE WAS LOSING INTEREST IN YOU?


If you have...May I share a bit of  wisdom with you?

It'll make you feel better.

IMPORTANT Little known WISDOM: Men RARELY pull away from you because of loss of interest.

In fact...

He can be DEEPLY in love with you and still pull away...or worse... leave the relationship all together!

How's that supposed to make you feel better?

Here's how...

Men pull away for 4 very distinct reasons...

These are called the 4 Masculine Hero Avatar Principles or 4 M.H.A.P. for short

==>Learn more about WHY MEN PULL AWAY and 4 M.H.A.P.

Once you understand WHY he pulls away, it's much EASIER to see how you should react when
he does pull away.

But that's not even the best part...

The powerful part is BECAUSE now you know he's not pulling away because he's less interested...

You'll avoid overcompensating, which means you avoid him pulling away FURTHER.

Make sense?

T Dub has a talent for explaining this in a fun way using what he calls his "Magic Traffic Signal"...

==>Watch His Free Video Lesson Here 

You'll get a kick out of his warm Southern accent too:-)

OH! If you dream of being married soon?

T Dub has started one of the biggest marriage movements in history called:

The **Million Marriage Mission**

 Which I'm so very Proud to be apart of  :-)

If you like what he has to say...We'd love to help You put a ring on your finger and get You married too!

==>Watch Your Free Video Lesson Here

I'm curious how much closer your relationship will be when you put what T Dub teaches you to use?

Sincerely,
Dr. Paul Pharms, PhD.

PS

Not only will you learn WHY men pull away and what you can do about it, but you'll also discover
"invisible man traps", his Masculine Hero Avatar and I got a kick out of what T Dub calls "man repellent"...LOL!

==>Watch Your Free Video Lesson Here