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Showing posts with label relationships needs met. Show all posts
Showing posts with label relationships needs met. Show all posts

Sunday, April 14, 2013

Want A Happy Marriage - Search For The Glue That Will Hold You Together









Want A Happy Marriage - Search For The Glue That Will Hold You Together

If you want a happy marriage, search for the glue that will bind you together.  That is advice given through the generations and like a lot of comments from older people, it is worth listening to.

Every relationship is different, as unique as the two people involved in it. Your mutual attraction, shared memories and lifestyle will help to keep you together and prevent you becoming yet another statistic.  But you cannot afford to just sit back and assume that you will always be happy.  Happy marriages take work. Couples need to realize that they must spend time on their relationship as well as time apart in order to stand the best chance of staying together.

People often make the mistake of putting their kids first all the time.  While your children are important, the relationship between you their parents is equally so. What better example can you set for your children than to have them growing up in a home where everyone is valued and their contribution to family life is appreciated.  You want your children to grow up knowing how to treat other people properly. They learn from example so be sure that the example you are giving them is the one you want them to follow.

In a happy relationship both parties know that the other person will always be there for them.  This doesn't mean that they will always take their side in an argument but that they will not be abusive or disparaging or disrespectful.   You need to develop good listening skills. The lord gave us two ears and one mouth for a reason. You need to learn to really listen to your partner and try to appreciate what they are saying to you.  Poor communication does not result in you celebrating forty or fifty years of married bliss.

Spend time together - this seems like an obvious one but if you look back over the last month how much time have you two actually spent alone together.  Staring at the TV screen every evening doesn't count.  If you have to put a time in the diary but make sure that you spend at least one evening every two weeks together enjoying quality time. 

If your intimate relationship needs some work, don't ignore it. Mutual attraction and desire played a huge part in you getting together in the first place. You should still find each other attractive.  The good news is that the more you make love to your spouse the more your body will want it. 

Making love to your spouse releases feel good chemicals and thus your body craves these good feelings. Even if you have to make a huge effort to get into the mood try and soon you may just find that it doesn't take that much effort anymore!

Finding the right partner to spend the rest of your life with is difficult but it is easy compared to keeping your marriage on the right track. Don't put your head in the sand. You want a happy marriage?  Search and apply some the techniques mentioned here and you can be as happy as you wish.

Friday, April 27, 2012

How To Get Your Relationships Needs Met



How To Get Your Relationships Needs Met

If you can get your relationships needs met, the relationship has a better chance of being long and happy. Not having your needs met is one of the biggest reasons relationships don't work out. It's especially important to have your relationships needs met to stay happy and stay together.
The surefire way to get your needs met in a relationship is by making sure the other person knows just what those needs are. You can't read minds, and you shouldn't expert your partner to be able to read minds either. He or she wants to make sure your relationships needs are met, so tell them what they are.

At the same time, encourage your partner to tell you the needs he or she feels are important. You might be surprised to learn, if you've never had this conversation before, how different your needs might be.

You might feel the need for you partner to tell you he loves you often, so may you do that for him. He no doubt enjoys that, but maybe what he really needs is for you to do quick considerate things to make him feel special. Some people like to be told, and some people like to be shown.

Simply having a discussion about your relationships needs can strengthen the relationship and make it easier for you to keep each other happy. If you're uncomfortable having such a frank discussion, you should do it anyway. Telling each other your needs is better than hinting or expecting them to be psychic.

You may really need your partner to be more helpful to you. But when it's time to clean or wash dishes you do them alone, yet again. And instead of simply asking for help or letting him know that it would mean a lot to you if he would do them sometimes or do them with you. But instead you get angry.

You might huff around while you're doing them, slam a cabinet, or act otherwise out. This is passive aggressive behavior. You're trying to manipulate him into helping you by acting that way. It's much better and healthier to simply ask for help.

Passive aggressive behavior is common in relationships, and it's a worsening cycle because it doesn't work. If he does take your hint, it's only after you've acted upon being angry and resentful. So his doing the dishes might be only to keep you from acting that way.

If you ask for help and explain that it makes you feel good when he wants to help you, then he's coming at the task from a place of love and helpfulness. He doesn't feel a sense guilt into doing it, so it's better for everyone.

This applies to things like showing affection, respecting each others feelings, and every aspect of your relationship. When you want something, ask for it, and be prepared to give your partner what he or she asks for to make sure all your relationships needs are met.