Healing Yourself and Your Relationship Self Help Tips

Healing Yourself and Your Relationship Self Help Tips

Relationships are supposed to be able to bring out the best in us but many times it is the root for needing self help advice. Most self esteem issues are directly tied to relationships we are in. It doesn't matter if you are dating or in a marriage or just in love, it can either make us feel better or worse about ourselves. We strive to find the one who will love us and make us feel like we are on top of the world, unfortunately that doesn't always happen.

One thing that many will try to do is find out if the reason for your difficulties in your relationships is because of the problems between the two of you or is it because of problems that originated early on in either your life or the other persons life. It can be exhausting trying to find the original root of the matter but one thing is obvious, you have problems now.

The best thing to do is to try and fix the relationship that you are in now so that you and your spouse or partner can help overcome each other challenges. You may be interested in reading self help books and utilize different self help techniques. If your relationship is strong, though, there will be no more need to concentrate on healing yourself because you will have a partner to help you overcome. First, though, you need to work on building the relationship. Seek out some good marriage counselors or others who can give good relationship advice.

One thing that is going to help is to never allow yourself to be criticized, or at least don't internalize it. Also make sure you don't criticize the one you love. There is no such thing as constructive criticism. There is nothing constructive about it. All it does is make one feel less powerful than the other and it is used to manipulate much in the same way an abuser does. A relationship is not a power struggle and it is not a war. Quit treating it like that and there won't be any fights to win or lose.

There are some more things that you can do to help your relationship. Where you are separated by beliefs, try talking it out and instead of pointing out where each other is wrong or where their weaknesses are try to find common ground. Take time to discuss what each others roles are in the relationship. Also discuss what you expect of the other. Let your partner know what hurts but also let them know what it is you want or need them to do and try to offer the same to them.

Whether you are dating or involved in a marriage there are many things that you can do to help better the situation. Once the two of you have worked to repair the relationship and put away any talks of divorce, separation, or just breaking up, the two of you can work together to make each other better people. Your relationship will help you help yourself image and will help you overcome all those things that hold you back.

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What If I want to date with my office mate

What If I want to date with my office mate...

Love or any of its elements seem to bloom in any place- even the places you least expect it to grow in. Workplace? It is not that impossible at all. It is even one of the best venues to search for a prospect life partner since one is more aware of what this other person is. You work with that person so you get to know more of him inside and out. On the second thought, is it a bed of roses in all angles?

The answer is of course- NO. In whatever form of romance story, there will always be these villains. But, what if you want to go out and have a date with a co-worker?

Just imagine this: a male co-worker sends a present to you, it will surely be a big-hot issue for the whole office. The bigger issue to face is the negative consequences entailed by the romance you choose to have. There are some reasons why office romance is not allowed by some companies. Therefore, be sure to make your self aware of the internal rules of the company. For some, it is a grave offense and an employee will be terminated from work.

Romance at work will greatly affect an employee's decision-making. With this, team efforts and some team tasks will really be moved by couple-employees. It is a fact that once personal life s inserted in professionalism, trouble might bite.

Another picture is that for couples, what if one gets the promotion over the other? Yes, they are lovers but there will always be that ""ego" thing since both people are having the same job. Professionals as they are, they have that aim to be at par from the rest of the employees.

Reassignment is another issue. Some companies' reassign one of the persons to another task just to overcome assumed affects which may not well for the company. If the reassignment of the other person is not favorable for the relationship, it will plunge down their good performance. Thus, it affects their over-all production.

When a couple is constantly together, it will also affect the team tasks where may one of them join into. Other co-workers will also be affected and intimidated.

Despite all of these negative effects, there will always be that positive thing about romance at work. You meet a partner who could understand you and your mood swings because you share the same pressures of work.

When you are just on the dating stage, see to it that you  do it as discreetly as you could without triggering some possible gossips that may just affect you and the person involved. Being professional includes knowing how to put that margin between your workplace and your private life.  

Simple Ideas How To Get Back With Your Ex

Simple Ideas How To Get Back With Your Ex

Learning how to get back with your ex is important to you because they may very well be the best thing for you. You weren't ready for that relationship to end. If it was a dating relationship that ended or a marriage that for some reason turned ugly and ended in divorce, it could be that there may be a second chance. If you aren't ready to give up on that love that got away you will want to know how to get back with your ex.

If love was once there then the possibility for it still being there may be real. You may not be able to turn back the clock or make the mistakes disappear but you can give that love another chance to live again. If you have both been able to step back away from the mistake(s) and have been given enough time to breathe you may be able to come back together just to talk. You won't want to rush right back into it though.

There were problems that interrupted the romance. You need to make sure that you are able to move past it and have any unresolved issues resolved. How can you think about starting where you left off if where you left off was a bad place. Work through the problems. If you can't then you won't be able to get back with your ex boyfriend or girlfriend for very long.

The break up may have happened because of one event. It could have been because of that one behavior that one of you couldn't handle the other doing. Whatever the problem was you need to find out how to either accept and deal with the problem or find out how it can be fixed.

If the issue was one cheating on the other, that may be hard to overcome. Trust has been broken and getting that trust back will be difficult. Overcoming a heartbreak because of that is difficult and it needs to be given both time and a reason to believe that there can be trust again. This is an area that marriage counseling or other type of couple's therapy can be helpful.

It is important not to come across as needy. You may feel desperate to get them back but this will only be seen as something that will give your ex power over you. You need to seem confident and that you are OK with yourself. The more confident you feel, the more likely they are going to be impressed with you and find you attractive once again.

More than anything If you want to know how to get back with your ex, you are going to be confident that it is the right thing to do. Always ask yourself if this is the right thing to do. Make sure that you are going to be better off with them than you are without them. If it is only going to turn bad again then all your work trying to figure out how to get back with your ex will have been in vain.

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Getting an Ex Back When You Were the One Who Dumped Him

Getting an Ex Back When You Were the One Who Dumped Him

Getting an ex back is hard if you were the one being dumped.  But imagine how you would feel if you were the one who did the dumping?  That is the position that Aimee found herself in and she had to go about getting an ex back.

Aimee,s so called friend Renee told her that her boyfriend Jaime had been sleeping with another woman. Without verifying the information or even asking Jaime about it, Aimee confronted Jaime and accused him of having an affair. This took Jaime by complete surprise because he had no inkling that the rumor was circulating, and he didn't do a good job of defending himself.  Aimee unceremoniously dumped him.

A few days later, Aimee found out that Renee had been lying for her own jealous, petty reasons.  Now Aimee was in a quandary.  Getting an ex back was important to her, but she also wanted to save face. 

Aimee called up Jaime and explained what had happened.  But Jaime was in no mood to take her back. Aimee had hurt him by not trusting him and not even talking things over with him. 

Getting an ex back took all of Aimee's wiles. 

First of all, Aimee wrote Jaime a long letter of apology. She took responsibility for what happened and promised that it would never happen again.  She reminded Jaime that they had a long history together and that they had shared some beautiful times.  She said that she didn't want to throw all of that away. She told him that the reason she acted the way she did was because she loved him and couldn't stand the thought of him being with another woman. The thought of losing him forever was painful.

After she had mailed the letter, she didn't bother him with constant texts or phone calls. She figured that getting an ex back after a situation like this one required that she give Jaime his space.

When she did run into Jaime, she was as nice as she could be.  She worked positive memories into the conversation casually.  She didn't apologize any further though. She had told him both in person and in writing that she was sorry and let it go at that. 

One day, Aimee got tickets for Jaime's favorite band which was in town for one concert only. She asked Jaime to go with her just as friends. In this way, she opened the door to a future relationship without crowding him. 

Getting an ex back after you have behaved badly and dumped him is difficult. Not only do you have the embarrassment of having to apologize, but you almost have to start from scratch again on the relationship. Rebuilding the trust is a key component in this period.

Jaime and Aimee did eventually get back together. Jaime came to see that Aimee's outburst was the act of a jealous woman who deeply loved him. He saw it as a mistake that they could both grow from. Their relationship became stronger than ever.

Aimee took the right approach to getting an ex back.

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The Ultimate And Perfect Relationship

 The Ultimate And Perfect Relationship


The ultimate and perfect relationship is something that most people dream of. So many women yearn to be that perfect woman, that every man will fall in love with, and constantly visualize that fairytale romance and spend the rest of there life with their perfect soul mate.

Why then doesn’t it always happen that way with so many of women wondering how to find the right man, why do some women always end up in a failing relationship or why don’t some men call them?

For many women relationships are so frustrating leaving them stressed, distraught and confused, never quite knowing what they might have done wrong and still wondering what he see's in other women rather than her.

You see those women who always have their man, have great relationships and can have the pick of the crop. Their relationships are always perfect, full of excitement with great men and the ideal life. Why do some women have such a perfect relationship and a perfect life when others have to suffer relationships that are dull, unfulfilling, boring or even non existent? Don’t you just wish you could really understand men?

Don’t despair, did you know that as a woman, by virtue of your femininity, you have the power at you finger tips to make men fall in love with you, make men want to spend the rest of their lives with you, influence the way they think and persuade them to give you want your heart desires.

If you find its difficult to attract the right man, sustain a relationship, keep the interest of your partner or persuade the love of your life to get down on one knee don’t despair, all women have the power to get their man by learning how to be their selves and focusing on their individuality.

Have you noticed that women who attract men like magnets aren't necessarily beautiful, in fact many beautiful women never attracts the perfect man, just the ones that can’t see beyond the cover and are quick to dump their trophies at the drop of a hat. Many of these women are never loved for who they are but purely for what they look like and once the looks go then they can kiss their relationship goodbye.

The women who attract their ‘perfect’ man aren't necessarily the most beautiful they are women who feel comfortable about themselves, know how to present the assets that they have and know how to please their man.

The ability to attract the right man is a learned skill;  It’s an art but a learned art that will enable YOU to attract and keep your dream man. Most men might not admit it but they want to be lured, seduced and praised by their women and will happily give anything to the women that makes him feel special, good about himself and totally fulfilled.

Seducing a man just isn't about sex or fancy meals it’s about the complete art of seduction, the power to make yourself irresistible to him. Becoming the woman that he will love and cherish all of his life with you:)

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Getting Back To The Basics Of Love And Romance

Getting Back To The Basics Of  Love And Romance

Almost every love story has the potential to begin as if it were a fairy tale. “Once upon a time, two people fell passionately in love and their love was unlike any others before theirs.” Relationship beginnings are wonderful and they can experience a ‘rebirth’ with a wedding, honeymoon and the exciting first year of marriage. Once a couple begins to grow and their lives change with jobs, children, social activities and other commitments, the love and romance becomes more difficult to attend to. Sometimes love and romance seem to be lost altogether. This destiny is not unavoidable if you want to rekindle the passion or simply bring it to a new level by becoming a hopeless romantic.

When you want to ignite the passion in your relationship but you aren’t sure what you need to do, the best place to begin is at the beginning. Think about the things that you used to do for your partner at the beginning of your relationship. If you don’t remember or never tried to be a true romantic, don’t worry. It’s not difficult and once you begin you will find that you will get your own new ideas after a while.

Most new relationships or new beginnings rely on the ‘little’ things to show love and affection. Be sure to remember special ‘couple’ days like Valentine’s Day, Anniversaries and even the date you met if possible. Be sure to send a meaningful gift or just a dozen roses and a box of chocolates to celebrate your feelings for your partner. Women can do exactly the same thing for men here. Not many men can resist candy!

You may not consider yourself to be a writer, but writing your partner a long love letter with your thoughts about how you feel for the other person is one of the most touching ways to spark romance. If you aren’t comfortable writing a letter, consider making lists about what you love the most about your partner. Lists can be about the things they do that makes you laugh, what they do for you that you appreciate, how they make you feel inside, how beautiful or handsome they are and other very personal but attentive details.

Call your partner and talk softly and loving. If he or she isn’t able to answer the phone, leave loving messages on their voice mail or answering machine. Talk dirty when you know that he or she can’t return the same conversation on the other end :)

Sometimes couples feel more comfortable trying to bring romance into their relationship by bestowing gifts on their partner. While classics like flowers, candy and perfume or cologne are almost always successful gifts, try ‘giving’ something different. Make plans to go see every romantic movie that comes to the theater during the year. Bring home a " I Love You " trophy  to celebrate even the tiniest accomplishment he or she has had. Randomly send romantic and/or humorous greeting cards to his or her workplace or hide them under the bed pillows at home.

These suggestions are simply ideas to get you started in your effort to bring romance and love to a new level in your marriage / relationship. You may have your own ideas and those are most likely better than anything offered here. Once you open the door to romance in your marriage / relationship and begin to build a foundation for future romance, you are ready to move to even more creative levels of romance

Top Ten List Of What To Do And What Not To Do In Relationships

Top Ten List Of What To Do And What Not To Do In Relationships


Most of us who have been intimately involved with someone beyond the infatuation stage know that relationships are like a roller coaster ride. When things are good, they are very, very good. When things are bad, they are very, very bad. As a relationship consultant, I have developed Top 10 Lists---one for men and one for women on 10 things to do and not to do in relationships.

MEN

DO

1. Just listen to your partner without offering advice.
2. Trust and Respect her.
3. Treat her as an equal partner in your relationship.
4. Stay and support her when she gets emotional. She is looking for understanding, not solutions.
5. Continue your courtship even after she’s committed to you. Continue to create romance in your relationship.
6. Do little things on a regular basis. A woman does care if you call her at work to say, “I love you” or if you buy a new TV for the living room. The small things are worth just as much as the big ones.
7. Honor any agreements you have made with her.
8. Encourage her goals and direction.
9. Find out what your partner would like to do and then do it with her.
10. Say, “I’ apologize” when you’ve done something you regret or that was hurtful to your partner, whether intentionally or unintentionally.

DON’T

1. Go to bed angry with your partner.
2. Try to offer advice or solutions when your partner just needs you to listen to her without comment.
3. Pretend to listen to her when you really aren’t.
4. Shut your partner out when you need to sort things out in your head. Just explain you need space, you aren’t angry with your partner and that you’ll be back.
5. Criticize your partner, especially her appearance.
6. Yell at your partner as if you were her father.
7. Take every word she says literally. Women, when upset, tend to speak in absolutes, such as “You NEVER listen to me;” when what she really means is that you aren’t listening to her at that time.
8. Allow jealousy to erode the trust, love and respect of your relationship.
9. Violate her privacy.
10. Forget special occasions.

Men and Women have different communication styles, different needs and desires, and different relationship challenges. Learning these differences can assist us in strengthening the relationships we have now and in the future.

WOMEN

DO

1. When you want more quality time with your man, make the time you do have as positive as possible.
2. Trust and respect him.
3. Stop nagging.
4. Allow your partner time away from you without giving him the third degree.
5. Appreciate the little things he does for you and tell him so.
6. Make love creatively and often. Don’t be afraid to initiate lovemaking.
7. Honor any agreements you have made with him.
8. Support his goals and direction.
9. Ask for what you want! (Believe it or not, no matter how much he loves you, he really can’t read your mind.)
10. Accept his “No” gracefully, trusting that he would if he could.

DON’T

1. Go to bed angry with your partner.
2. Insist he always share his feelings with you. Talking about feelings is more what women need.
3. Attempt to converse with your partner during a good movie or sporting event.
4. Continue to “give” in what you perceive is a lopsided relationship when you are at a point of resentment.
5. Criticize him or put him down, especially the things he does.
6. Scold your partner as if he were a child.
7. Use sex as a prize for good behavior or the withholding of sex as punishment for “bad” behavior.
8. Compare him to a fictional character in a book, movie or soap drama and find him lacking.
9. Violate his privacy.
10. Try to change him. Appreciate the man he is right now.

There is so much to learn about satisfying relationships that your parents never showed you. Please don’t become one of the statistics of divorce or perhaps worse, stay in a miserable relationship to honor your marriage vows while having so many regrets about your life as the time ticks away.

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Broken Relationships Rebound The Smart Way

Broken Relationships Rebound The Smart Way

How many times have you seen one of your friends break up with a long-term partner only to find, the very next week, someone who was obviously all wrong for them? It’s one of the most common after effects of the end of relationships: rebound dating.

The idea of rebound relationships is so ingrained into the way we think about dating that it just seems natural to look for one after a breakup. There’s something to be said for getting “back in the saddle,” choosing a partner when your judgment is clouded usually does more harm than good overall. If you want to get over your ex fast, there are better ways to do it.

Band-Aid relationships: rebound mindset

The first step to keeping yourself from doing something you’ll regret is to take an honest look at what you’re feeling and understand how those feelings can lead you places you’d rather not go. A lot of times we just miss the companionship and look for someone to fill the gap in our schedule and distract us from the fact that our heart’s just been broken. In that case, make a point of finding a social time-filler that doesn’t involve romance.

Maintain your standards

The best thing you can do to avoid getting involved with someone who’s all wrong for you is stick to your standards. In fact, go ahead and raise them a little just to add a safety buffer. If the person you’re thinking about dating is less kind, less intelligent, less anything that you’d normally want, stay away. These people don’t make for good relationships, rebound or otherwise.

Beware of the handiest person

When we look for someone to rebound with, we need someone fast. We don’t have time to “waste” looking for someone we really click with, so we tend to latch on to someone we already know and have at least some rapport with. It might be a close friend, a co-worker, even someone who works at the grocery store down the street. If you find yourself falling for someone you’ve never been the least bit attracted to before, stop and think about what’s really going on here.

Take time for yourself

Instead of filling your time with go-nowhere dates, get out and make some new friends (that’s “friends,” not “lovers.” There’s a difference.) Get involved in something you’ve always wanted to do but never had time for. Whatever you do, don’t sit around pining for your ex or looking for some one else to save you from the pain that your feeling.

Be gentle with yourself.

Even if your not sobbing into your pillow every night, the end of a relationship will naturally make you feel a little bummed out and low on energy. Take that into account and try not to start any major projects for a few weeks. Instead, treat yourself to some time out to do something you enjoy.

Of course, not every rebound relationship ends up a disaster. If you’re lucky, you may meet some one truly right for you. If you do decide to get involved with someone after a breakup, though, make sure you’ve taken a little off by yourself and you’re not lowering your standards. While we can't prevent all broken relationships: rebound dates gone wrong are easy to avoid.

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Six Essential Secrets For Flowing Relationships

Contrary to most conventional wisdom, it's not your looks, your money, your job or even your luck, that's going to land you that great relationship, and keep it sizzling. No, the secret is all in your attitude.

Here are my Six Essential Secrets For Flowing Relationships

1. Stop competing with each other! Good relationships are all about being on the same side. What's the purpose in scoring all those points? Sure you may cross the finish line first today, and maybe tomorrow as well. But you'll be all alone when you do, and if you carry on this way, eventually you may not have anyone left in your life to compete with! So stop competing; stop player-hating; start concentrating on crossing that finish line as part of a winning team.

2. Listen, communicate and hear! One of my favorite parts of my great relationship period, is to sit and chat with my wife. We talk about big stuff, and small stuff; share plans and pains, and each of us engages with what the other is saying. We never use silence as a weapon, and we never go to bed mad. Master the simple art of real conversation, and your relationship is halfway home!

3. Understand a relationship is not about "ownership. "This is probably the most common personal problem I come across. Possessiveness and jealousy are two of the most destructive of all human forces. Very few relationships will survive the poison of this twin-horned devil. Let it go!

4. Pay yourself first every day! The most important relationship of all is the one you have with yourself! That means taking care of your body, mind and spirit every single day. It's simply called self-respect. I can guarantee you, that if you don't care for yourself, then few others will. Why should they? If you've already demonstrated your own low self-esteem, who am I, or anyone else, to argue with that? Take care of yourself first each day, in order to be strong enough to take care of the people you care about.

5. Put the romance back! You just can't beat it. A romantic gesture says: "At this moment, I am thinking 100% of you, and your needs, and I want to do everything I can to please you." It also says a great deal about your own self-esteem. You'd be amazed how many people are motivated to make romantic gestures because of the praise they'll receive, not the pleasure they'll give. That isn't romance, its selfish. Learn to discern. Become a Master of Romance. It'll spice up your life!

6. Learn how to bend, but never so far that you snap.  Relationships are all about give and take. It's OK to bend with the wind sometimes. That's the nature of the dance. But it's not OK to bow over so far, so often, and so low, that you get worn down, weaken and snap. Learn how much to give, how much to take, and when to walk away.

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Five Most Important Things to Remember About Dating Women

Five Most Important Things to Remember About Dating Women

   Everyone does it. Not everyone loves it. Whether you enjoy dating or find it stressful and horrible, you know that if you are ever going to find the one person who can stop your dating life forever, you have to do it. Gentlemen, you simply have to date women if you are ever going to find the perfect one for you. So, here is some good advice for you. 

Successful dating can be broken down into the five most important things about dating women. They are:

Women are not guys.  They do not think it is fun to make noises by placing their hands under their armpits and acting like a winged creature. Even if they are drunk, they don't like this. Save this type of behavior for guy's night.

Women are not guys. They do not think it is cool to brag about your previous relationship conquests. They do not want to know about the ditzy blonde who had nothing to say but had the most amazing rack ever created. Nor do they think it is great to have their guy greeted by every woman in the place.Take your date to a different place just to be on the safe side and never, never, never mention your ex-girlfriend.

Women are not guys.  They do not like to see you show up at their door in your ratty old jeans with a cheap five-buck pizza in hand. Trust me on this one.  Maybe later  way later, like after the kids become teenagers  it will be okay for this kind of thing to happen. But for now, please, guys: take a shower, put on something nice like khakis and a pullover shirt, and have flowers in hand instead of greasy fast food.

Women are not guys.  They do not love it when their date pulls out buy-one-get-one-free coupons at the restaurant cash register. There is nothing wrong with a bargain, especially in these tough economic times, but use those freebies when you go out with your mom (who will love your thriftiness) or your best buddy (who wouldn't notice or care how you paid). Don't make your date think that she is not worth full price.

Women are not guys. They do not find burping and farting contests hilariously interesting and entertaining. Who can come up with most-silent-but-most-deadly one without any prior warning is nothing to be proud of, according to the female half of the population. Neither is it way cool to be able to belch out the melody to The Star-Spangled Banner. Again, save it for football night with the frat brothers.

Remembering the five most important things to remember about dating women will take you farther than anything else when it comes to having a great time on your dates. The five most important things to remember about dating women will also allow you to get more than one date with the same lady. There are lots of people who will offer you lots of advice about dating, and even some who will simply say, Be yourself. 

That is not terrible advice, but trust me, if being yourself includes any of the forbidden behavior in the five most important things to remember when dating women list, don't be yourself. Be better.  Remember these five most important things about dating women and have a better dating life.

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The Top Six Romance Killers – And How to Avert Them

The Top Six Romance Killers – And How to Avert Them


Remember the time your lover couldn’t keep his hands off you? And now, it seems, his hands are strictly for holding the remote, and he has eyes only for the TV.

What went wrong? Besides the fact that lifestyles today are more stressful than ever (a definite romance buster), most relationships go through predictable phases – from intense passion to a warm friendly glow to possible eventual indifference.

All couples, however, do not end up with indifference towards each other. Some even retain intense romance and passion for as long as they live. These relationships are not instances of chance or luck – the continued intimacy is a result of working on the relationship and not giving up on each other when the things look bleak.

If you are looking for more than just “holding on” to each other out of habit and wish to rekindle the flame of the early days of your romancing, here are some tips that will help you reach that goal:

Chores and additional responsibility: The greatest difference between the dating days and the living together days is the drastic change in responsibility levels. Money matters, household chores, and decision-making are the major areas of conflict.

For instance, you have never discussed who does what around the house, and when you see your partner sprawled on the couch while you are hard at work, it angers you. The best way to sidestep this hurdle is to work on communication. In this example, it would help to discuss division of chores and responsibilities before you start living together. Also, discuss money matters beforehand – who will spend on what, how much will be saved etc.

 If one partner puts in efforts to save money, and the other partner spends lavishly, the relationship is heading towards troubled waters. When we stop communicating, resentment builds up.

Resentment: Unresolved issues lead to bitterness and resentment. And when we resent our partner, we tend to start shutting him/her out of our lives. This is the beginning of indifference. Snip indifference in the bud by recognizing its signs and talking about the unresolved issue. Seek a closure.

Fitness & Health: High profile and highly demanding careers mean that we have little emotional energy to “give” at the end of the day. When both partners feel this way, they may end up snapping at each other for non-issues. And if you have been neglecting your health by eating junk food and not exercising, you feel constantly exhausted and irritable. So when both partners maintain a healthy (and fit) lifestyle, it helps their relationship.

Babies: Some say that the greatest test of the health of a relationship is how it survives the entry of the new family member – the baby. Newborns can add to the stress of an already stressed relationship. If you don’t want your relationship to fall apart on account of the baby, make sure you are working on it before the baby is born – again, the key is open and honest communication.

Familiarity: At some point in the relationship we get comfortable enough with each other to burp in front of each other. This familiarity sometimes extends to not opening doors for our partner, and not carrying bags for her – little courtesies are forgotten. Even if we are comfortable with each other, behaving in a gentlemanly manner (or ladylike manner) when the occasion demands, keeps the romance alive.

Bickering: Most bickering is a reflection of a bigger problem – it is never really about the socks on the floor or the toothpaste tube cover- it is about how these gestures show that you don’t care enough about your partner to put in the effort. Bickering only increases your frustration because while the issue does not get resolved, you get labeled a “nag”. Talking in a constructive and positive manner about what bothers you is the best way to sidestep bickering.

Always remember to talk in a place that is free of distractions such as the TV or the baby. And while we’re going on about honest communication, remember the golden rule of speaking to your partner – it never hurts to be diplomatic. We’re saying, “be honest”, but that does not equal “be harsh”. Talk in a considerate, gentle and positive manner; and your partner will reward you by being responsive. And that is the beginning of rekindling the romance.

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When Love Still Exists How to Win Ex Back

Do you want to win ex back?  If you had a close, loving relationship with a partner who later broke up hastily  with you, you may want to get back together. You have a lot of emotional investment in the relationship, and may not want to throw it away without an attempt to reignite the flame. Here's how to win ex back.

First of all, you need to analyze your own feelings.  Do you still care deeply about your ex?  Sometimes a great passion burns into being merely comfortable. You don't want to lose your ex because he is like an old slipper. But comfort doesn't make a great relationship. There has to be a great love. If you still have passionate feelings for your ex partner, you can move onto the next step of how to win ex back.

And that next step is examining how he feels about you. Does he have the same kind of grand love? If the problems in the relationship were things you can work on like communication, time management, goal awareness then you can win ex back. But, if the problem were deeper and he's no longer in love with you, you should start to move on now.

When you have determined that this was a grand love, you can start to work on the things that can bring you two back together.  For instance, think back to who you were when he fell in love with you.  Perhaps you weighed 10 pounds less, had a more optimistic outlook on life, were close to your girlfriends, or were involved in a variety of activities.

After you spend time with him, you begin to change. You spend less time with girlfriends or on your own activities as he  begins to demand more of your presence. You may have let yourself go because you feel secure in his affection.

If you want to win ex back, you need to go back to being the woman he fell in love with. Another tip to how to win ex back is to practice detachment. Don't call, text, or stalk your ex. You don't want to appear desperate. By  seeming to accept the situation, you actually become more desirable to your ex. 

In practicing detachment, you also begin to focus on what makes you happy. You get reconnected to friends and family. You take up hobbies and other things which interest you. You become a more positive person in general. This all helps in win ex back.

When you do get together with your ex from time to time, use the past to your advantage. For instance, if there was an outfit he really liked to see you in, wear it. If you eat at a restaurant where you had a good time with him, mention that you were there again.  Because you have many positive experiences with this guy, you can use your common history to win ex back.

From time to time, invite your ex to non-committal type events.  Ask him to join a group of your friends at a event or invite him to a party.  Let him know he's free to bring a date. 

Finally, if you want to win ex back, just be yourself. Either he's in love with you or he isn't. You can't change your ex,  You can only be yourself.

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Show Your Partner That You Care

Show Your Partner That You Care

Many of us start our relationship with love. But after some time you may feel that something is changed, that routine is getting in your relationship. That doesn't mean that the love is gone but you have to do something to keep your love alive.

Relationships are difficult to sustain. We all want to have a relationship that works. Happiness is the primary need of all of us. To make your relationship work , being like before, and also to not lose your partner you should start by showing her that you really care, to impress her with something every day.

It is important to show people that we care. While big and extravagant gifts are one way, it is the small things that we do everyday that are the most important. You don’t need to be creative, have a big budget or heaps of bright ideas to show someone that you care.

Here are some helpful tips you may use to show her that you care, tips to impress her and show that you love her like the in beginning.

Surprise her in the morning by making her coffee and bring her breakfast at the bed. If you didn’t do this before you will definitely surprise her in a positive way. This is good way to start your day by pampering her.

Propose to take a shower together. Show her that you make time for her and it's no problem if you get to work late sometimes. Spending some time with her is much important even if you have a lot of work today.

Bring home roses for no reason at all. You don't need a special reason to buy her flowers to show how much you love her. Your intentions will be appreciated and the message will be better understood.

Be sensitive and caring. Ask her if there's something wrong if you see that she is a little upset. Listen to her and try to make her smile again. Remind her that you'll conquer all the problems together.

Don't forget to compliment her daily and tell her she's beautiful like in the first day you met. It’s good to hear that you still like how she looks and have the Hots for her.

Ask if there's anything you can do in the house. Ask her if you can help with something, and sometimes do a little cleaning even if she doesn't ask you to do it. Notice the things that are missing and go shopping for them without asking her. She will be very surprised that you care about the house and offer to help her.

Remember anniversary's and birthdays. A woman always know this dates, but men usually forget this. That's why she will be impressed and very happy to see that you are a caring man and remember your anniversary.

Prepare her a romantic weekend that she doesn't expect. Go away to spend a romantic weekend with your partner only just the two of  you, somewhere away from home where nobody can reach and disturb you. It's the perfect place and chance to re alive the love between you two.

Once you begin to pay attention to what brings her pleasure and happiness, you're on your way to being a true romantic. The thing to keep in mind is that romance is about her desires, not yours. Your satisfaction comes from making her Happy.

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Want Ex Back Changing What Went Bad to Get My Ex

Want Ex Back  Changing What Went Bad to Get My Ex Back

Ladies, you are home after a date with yet another guy.  It didn't go well.  You find yourself saying I want ex back. 

After a break up, you may move on to other people.  But, when you constantly find yourself thinking you want ex back, are there things you can do to rekindle an old relationship?

There are, and in this article, I present you with five strategies for when you want ex back.

First, clear your energy from other people.  Don't invest time and energy in men who aren't your ex.  For your old relationship to start working again, you have to prepare your mind, body and soul for him.If you are flirting with another guy, dating other men, or even worse, sleeping around, you are not preparing the proper mindset for getting your ex back.

Next, keep your dignity.  Don't chase your ex, flooding him with hundreds of text messages, calling him at odd times of day, or stalking him.  Also, you need to make him respect you and treat you well.  Don't be a doormat.  You will only command your ex's respect and love when you are yourself at your best.  Hold your head high.  You will increase your chances of getting back together with your ex if you do.

Third, make a list of the things you appreciate about your ex and spend some time dwelling on them.  Sometimes, a bad break up ends with all kinds of accusations. Now that you have some breathing room, start to concentrate on his good points. This is a good thing to do when you want ex back.

Next, when you get back together, try changing some of the circumstances. Go to new places and try new things. Take up a new hobby together.  Meet new people.  By changing the environment of your relationship, you have a better chance of making it work.  Don't fall into the same old patterns of your relationship. You may even want to tune your relationship down a notch.  If you were living together, try having separate places for a while. If you were engaged, try just dating.  Don't try to force your relationship back into old patterns.

Finally, create a shared sense of destiny. While fate certainly plays a role in our lives, we are the ones who write our life script.  Map out with your partner where you want to go.  When you do this together, you create a mission with a place for both of you.

When you want ex back, you have to work with new scenarios.  Follow the advice in this article if you want ex back.

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Things I ve Learned from Women Who ve Dumped Me?

Things I ve Learned from Women Who ve Dumped Me

Okay, I'll admit, I've been dumped.  More than once.  More than I'd like to admit, actually.  And, while it hurt quite a bit each time, I have to say that I have grown tremendously  from the experiences.  So, here are some things I've learned from women who ve dumped me.

Things I've Learned from Women Who ve Dumped Me #1:
It takes two.

Often with the pain and heartbreak of a break up, it is easy to blame the other person for your misery.  But the truth is that if the relationship was no longer working, you were part of the problem.  Evaluate what went on so that you can apply the lessons to your next relationship.

Things I've Learned from Women Who ve Dumped Me #2: Give women their personal space.

Women like to cuddle and snuggle.  They may seem to always be around.  But they need their personal space too.  Men have a tendency to be possessive.  We want to keep tabs on there personal space, you send the message that you don't trust your partner. This can easily lead to the end of the relationship.

Things I've Learned from Women Who ve Dumped Me #3: You get stronger over time:)

When you wake up in the morning and the hurt's so real, you may believe that you will never get over the break up.  But the truth is that not only does time heal all pain, but you will emerge from the break up a stronger person.  As philosopher Frederick Nietzsche said, That which doesn't kill me only makes me stronger.

Things I've Learned from Women Who ve Dumped Me #4:  It's okay if it wasn't meant to be.

Coming to accept that a relationship wasn't meant to be is a key factor in healing. If you had started projecting your relationship into the future considering marriage, thinking about children and then the woman you were with broke everything off, consider it a blessing. It is better to end a relationship that wasn't meant to be earlier rather than later.

Things I've Learned from Women Who ve Dumped Me #5: Good things don't happen unless you make them happen.

Finally, the last lesson I want to share with you is that you can't control what happened, but you can control to how you react to what happened.  If you want good things to happen in the future, you have to make them happen.

That means getting back on TRACK.  Go out, meet new people. Have some fun.  Eventually, you will find another relationship.  And, if you have followed the advice in this article about things I've learned from women who ve dumped me, the relationship will be even better and stronger than the last one:)

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Romance 101 ?

Romance 101

Men, what woman doesn’t want to be treated to a little romance every once in a while? Many women will agree that romance is all about the details. Small gestures really do make a normal night out into something romantic. So listen up…because these tips will sure earn you some points…

The key to being romantic is thoughtfulness…so start being a little less selfish. Learn that mood, location, situation and ambiance can heighten romance with dramatic effect. Communicate with your partner on every level and anticipate their desires and needs. Look at your partner when they are talking and hold their gaze.

Try doing little things to get right at your partner’s soft spot. Phone just to say hello, I love you and give your partner a nice surprise. Send them notes and small cards telling them you are thinking of them. Be spontaneous and do little deeds that show you care. Bring home take out from their favorite restaurant or take them to their favorite ice cream shop. Flowers are always a nice touch at any time of year. Be creative and pick out their favorite colors and types for a personal touch.

Remember birthdays, anniversaries and landmark days such as the day you two first met or first kissed, and plan something…maybe a return to the first date location. Listen to clues that your partner might drop, such as their favorite dessert or books they like, and surprise them with little gifts.

Learn how to hug, cuddle and make physical contact. Dance together when the occasion arises. Hold hands and do anything to make your partner feel close to you.

Write her a letter and let her know that you love her and you mean it. Use nice stationary, or make your own card, which shows thought and inspiration.

In terms of dates, learn how to cook your partner’s favorite dish. Plan a surprise candlelit dinner followed by a romantic movie. Take your partner on a outing  to the park or beach and prepare in advance without involving them. This initiative is very romantic:)

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I Lost Love Every Relationship Has a Time Line

Hey Doc, I read your posts on relationships and they are helping me. I want to thank you for taking out the time to help those of us, trying to get our relationship stuff together. Since, I'm getting a whole lot stronger I would like to share my story and maybe it will help someone out. Doc, please don't post my name, thanks.

 Why I Lost Love, 

In my case, my girlfriend and I were thinking about ratcheting up our relationship.  Her lease was about to end, and she wanted to move into my apartment.  As we were spending most of our time there anyway, it made sense from a financial perspective.

But there is something significant about having separate places.  I know I lost love because I couldn't handle her taking our relationship to this level.  I guess the time span of our relationship was up because I wasn't willing to become more committed.

Now, I know I handled the situation badly. I went to a friend,s bachelor party and let's just say things got out of hand. Word about the wild antics at the party got back to my girlfriend, naturally, and she dumped me.  I lost love over the events of one night.

But, when I think back on what really happened, the events of the bachelor party were really a reaction to our discussion of more commitment.  I seriously don't think I would have behaved the way I did if I really wanted her to move in.  I lost love because I wasn't ready for the direction it was taking. 

I'm glad I had the chance to be in a relationship with my ex.  But I don't think she was the love of my life, my soul mate.  Instead, she was someone with whom I genuinely enjoyed spending time.  I loved her.  I still love her.  But, she is not the person with whom I see spending the rest of my life.

I went through a period of mourning the relationship and analyzing what went wrong.  I really was hurt when she said she wanted to end things.  Sure, I understood that I had hurt her.  But, I didn't want her to leave my life completely.

I guess what I wanted was for things to continue on the way they were.  But, every relationship has to grow or die.  Because I wasn't willing to let it grow, it had to die.  In every relationship, there is a time to die.  And, for me, this was it.  That's how I lost love.


Dear, I Lost Love,

Reading you story the words of  Alfred Lord Tennyson's quote, Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all, comes to mind. I think it is important to remember that every relationship has a natural lifespan.  In Junior High, that's about four days.  As we get older, the lifespan increases.  But, there are certain relationships that are right for a period of time and then go awry.  Most of us will only have one great love in our lives.  The other relationships will terminate. I understand that this is a natural process, painful but yet a process. I do see that you have grown as a person and that's always a very good thing and do keep up the good works. You are now positioning yourself to become the Man of a Woman's Dream. Keep love alive in your life and grow on in a positive way.
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How Get Your Ex Back What To Do When Shes Dumped You

How Get Your Ex Back  What To Do When Shes Dumped You

How get your ex back?  This is the lament of every guy who has ever been dumped.  Did you know that in three quarters of break ups, it is the girl who calls the whole thing off?  Guys generally want to stay together with their girlfriends.  This article is about how to get ex back.

First of all, you have to determine whether she did you a favor by dumping you.  Too often, guys stick with girls out of inertia.  It is easier to stay in an okay relationship than go out and look for a really good one. If you don,t feel that the girl who dumped you was your soul mate, consider that her calling things off might be a blessing in disguise.

If this is not the case and you still want get your ex back, read on.

The next step is to determine whether she loves you.  Girls can be over sensitive.  They are much more likely to act impulsively and then have regrets about what they did.  If you think she still loves you, you have a good chance at how get your ex back.

In this case, you have to make her come to you.  Many guys call their ex's numerous times, send hundreds of texts, and exhibit other such stalker behavior.  This just pushes their girlfriends away.

Instead, seem like you are accepting of the break up.  Move on.  Date other girls.  By making her come back to you instead of the other way around, you will go about how get your ex back.

During this time, you should analyze whether you have changed from the man she first fell in love with. Often, guys try to impress girls up front. But, once they have slipped into a comfortable relationship with their girlfriend, they slag off.  For instance, are you still working out as often as you did?  Toward the end, were you still opening her car door, buying her flowers, and generally romancing her the way you did at the beginning of the relationship?  These things can make a big difference in how get your ex back.

When you do see your ex girlfriend, subtly remind her of your common bonds.  If you are going to go to a party where you know she,s going to be, wear a shirt she gave you.  If she has a favorite cologne, wear it.  And, when you talk, bring up the positive things in your past.  Don't beat her over the head with them, but make her nostalgic about your common history.

Invite her to non-committal type of events.  If a group of friends are going to the beach, ask her to come along.  Begin seeing her in social settings once again.  When she comes along, pay some attention to her, but spend your time with your friends also. When she sees that you are an attractive catch, you've already won half the battle of how get your ex back.

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Do Your Relationship need More Romance ?

Do Your Relationship need More Romance ? 

  

Whether your relationship is a new romance or one that has passed the test of time, there are probably days where you wonder how to keep the fires burning. As time passes, and you settle into a comfortable relationship, you may find it all too easy to relax and forget the ‘romance’. Suddenly you feel that something is missing.

Perhaps your spouse or partner has complained that the romance is missing from your relationship. Maybe YOU are the one who has noticed the change. And now, it is time to do something about it.
But, you aren’t sure what you are supposed to do!

The only thing you need is the desire to put romance in your life and to spend a little time and energy focusing on your relationship. Take the time to pay attention to your love life!
It may sound corny or trite, but putting some romance in your life will improve your relationship and ensure that your partner knows he or she is loved and valued.

If you invest a little energy in the process, you’ll find that soon you and your partner, spouse, fiance or new love will come up with new ways to surprise each other and take pleasure and interest in keeping the process going.

 What is important is that you try, and that you show that you care by your effort. Your partner will LOVE YOU for the effort and you will not feel inadequate in your expression of love:)

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Catch your spouse doing something "right"

Catch your spouse doing something "right"

Staying Happily Married:

 Being happily married and staying happily married is not such a hard jigsaw puzzle to put together. It just needs tender loving care and some extra gestures of concern to always keep the fire within the marriage ablaze. Both spouses must always exert extra effort to keep the marriage fresh and interactive. Couples may start the journey to a strong and satisfying married life by avoiding the common pitfalls that haunt marital relationships.

 Disagreements and arguments will happen. It is normal in any relationship. Two individuals, no matter how similar or compatible, will at some point clash and get into an argument - be it petty or something more serious.Leaving the issue unresolved or the concerned addressed allows the issues pile up over time and subsequently result in graver situations that are more difficult to resolve or address later on.

 This scenario is avoidable had the couples been open to the idea that they can get through any problems if they knew the marriage pitfalls and troubles that they should have looked out for. Couples, either newly married or married to each other for a long time,should understand that they need to communicate. It may sound surprising but recent studies show that communication issues actually top the list of the most important things that couples hope they had focused on before jumping into marriage.

Talk. It is unsafe to assume that a partner knows the others thoughts and needs and vice versa. Ask, and do not assume. Then pay close attention and listen to what is being said. Don't just hear. Acknowledge that what has been said is clearly understood.

Take some time to send your partner a heartfelt thank you. Write a card or send flowers out of the blue to let your partner know that you appreciate him or her. An unexpected phone call would also be a nice gesture. If you are on the receiving end, reciprocate the initiative with the same sincere appreciation.

 It feels good to know that what you have done is acknowledged. Also, ‘making your partners day’ will give you the same euphoric feeling :-)

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