Speaking to a Partner's Love Language

Speaking to a Partner's Love Language 

Gary Chapman, in his best selling book, outlined the concept of love languages. He broke them down in general categories and posited everyone has a particular language to which they respond. Most people give in a language they desire. Unfortunately, being paired with someone possessing an identical love language is quite rare. More often than not, a partner needs something requiring sacrifice and practice to speak to them in a ways they truly value. This makes understanding all the love languages critical for open communication and deepen intimacy.

Gifts

In some ways, this seems like the simplest love language because one buys something for their partner and it is done. Those who respond to this language do not point to the gift itself. The gift represents everything else involved. Things like time, attention and effort all meld to elevate the item from a "gift" to a representation of the the other's heart. In a gift card obsessed culture where no one wants to get the "wrong" thing, a thoughtful, specific item speaking directly to a partner's interests goes a long way to bring two people closer together.

Time

For this group, the presence of the one they care about can be enough. Think of a cold day when the wind blows and sleet hits the windows. Sitting next to a fire and having one's partner there warms more than the body. It warms the heart. Too often, a person can get too focused on doing things or providing an experience. Those with the love language of time only want to know they matter enough to be with.

Words

Words trip people up as society moves ever farther from a place where words hold sway. Take all sorts of social media with their emojis or pictures substituted for a well timed word. People who need words do not seek eloquence. They only want to hear the truth about themselves from their partner's heart. It can take the form of a poem, a song or a simple whispered "I love you" followed by a pet name. Because of this, they feel seen and heard by the one they love. 

Service

This sounds really big as a love language complete with grand gestures or arduous tasks. The simplest way to understand this is think of the worst household chore. It varies, but everyone has one. Now, imagine arriving home with the task completed unexpectedly. Service is doing things for the partner they may always have to do or put off doing. This lightens their burden. But deeper than merely doing a chore for them, the partner sees how the rest of their work is acknowledged and seen.

Touch

Before this turns to more adult topics, because almost no one can resist those touches, this love language centers on more G and PG touching. Holding hands, snuggling on the couch and a good old fashioned hug passes affection to those with this love language. One of the biggest challenges for people with this love language occurs when the relationship has been well established and most of the early playfulness and touching vanishes. They need skin to skin contact to know their partner is close and cares.

Almost everyone has a dominant and secondary love language where they receive the majority of the reinforcement of connection. However, everyone should receive a variety of love from all these categories because it touches them in a variety of ways at different times. Words of love can impact those longing for touch as much as a tight hug. The important thing is to take the time, get to know what a partner needs and then strive to fill them with as much love as possible.

Serious Questions to Ask Your Partner

Serious Questions to Ask Your Partner

When you first get into a relationship, you are simply excited about your new love. You will often avoid many important relationship topics and conversations when you first fall in love with someone. With that being said, there are multiple questions and topics that should be covered by these who are in a more relationship. These are some of the serious questions to ask your partner as your relationship continues to get more serious.

What Do You Think about  Children?

If you find that your relationship is getting more and more serious, you need to start thinking about your future goals. If you are dead-set on having a child, and your partner is dead-set on not having children, you may have an issue. While it may not be grounds to break up right away, it is something to keep in the back of your mind as you find your relationship to be more serious.

Is This Long Term?

You need to be upfront with your partner about your wants and needs. IF you are looking for a long-term relationship, you need to tell them this. They will then be able to tell you whether or not they are on the same page.

What Are Your Thoughts on Monogamy?

It is important to be on the same page as far as monogamy is concerned. You need to ask this relatively soon. Be clear and firm about your stance on the issue, and make sure that you clearly understand their thoughts on monogamy as well.

Am I a Priority?

Talk to your partner about their priority list. While you should not expect to be first on the list of priorities, you should not be last. Find out where you rank in their life to fully understand how committed they are to you and your relationship.

Do You Love Me?

This simple question may seem pointless, and may not seem serious. This question can actually have a strong purpose. When you ask your partner if they love you, you are reaffirming their feelings. Sometimes, it is simply good to be verbally reassured that they love you and care about you.

Are You Willing to Work for Our Relationship?

Relationships are not easy to maintain. They require work and patience to be successful. You need to talk to your partner about your relationship to understand if they are willing to do the work necessary to maintain a good and healthy relationship.

It is important to space these questions out; do not ask them all at once. While you want to have serious talks, you do not want to bombard your partner with serious questions. IT is also important to keep an understanding tone while talking about these questions. An accusatory tone can ruin your relationship.

You should be asking these questions to understand your partner. You need to think about serious questions to ask your partner to ensure that you are not surprised by something later on in your relationship. Remember, the way you start is the way that you will continue in your relationship; until new positive change comes about.

Do You Want To Be The Women Men Adore And Never Want To Leave

                                                
                                                                    
                                                                    
                                            
Do You Want To Be The Women Men Adore And Never Want To Leave

Many women dream of becoming the women men adore and never want to leave.  But just as many women go about it in the totally wrong way and end up losing one guy after another.  What is the secret?  I'll show you.

The first thing you have to do is totally change your way of thinking.  Our society has done a huge disservice to men and women by creating unrealistic expectations of what men and women should be.

For example, for most of your history women have been taught that men are overly sexual and that they really only want sex.  You've been led to believe that if a woman give her man enough sex he'll love you forever and never leave.  That is complete and utter nonsense!

Yes men like sex, but surprise, so do women! Women have just as high of a sex drive as men but the difference is our society has encouraged men to follow their sex drive while women have been taught that 'good girls' will wait until they're married.  The result?  Men judge their 'manliness' on the number of conquests they make and women are frustrated and angry that they are forced to put their needs on hold.

So if you want to keep your man happy you need to get over the idea that he needs sex all the time or that he needs it more than you.  Men and women really aren't that different in what they need and want from a relationship.  Two words can describe what they want: Connection and Support.

As humans we all need to feel connected to others.  If you can remember that and base your relationship on that fact you will have a great chance of making your man love you forever.

A connection can be made emotionally, spiritually, and sexually.  The more of these types of connections you and your man have the stronger your relationship will be.  If you want to keep him in love with you stay in a love-connected state with him.   Don't get sidetracked with negative petty issues; think out and weigh whats really important in the relationship for both of you. 

After all, you have to remember who you were when you met, he was attracted to that person so why would you change and become some boring, clingy, petty person now? 

The women men adore and never want to leave knows all of theses things.  She gives her man the connections and support he needs while keeping her own identity intact.  She doesn't put his needs above hers, but she lets him know that she is his biggest fan and loves and accepts him unconditionally.

Why Men Leave Relationships

 Why Men Leave Relationships

If you are a woman who is struggling to keep your relationship intact and you want to know why men leave relationships, this is the article for you.  As humans, we have the tendency to make things more complicated than they have to be.  This is compounded by some misconceptions that are strongly rooted in our society.

Many people have heard the saying: "Men use love to get sex and women use sex to get love".  The problem is that doesn't have to be the way it is.  While there might be some truth to that it just perpetuates a common flaw in our way of thinking: that men want and need sex more than women and that sex is all men need to be happy.

That's simply not true.  For the most part men and women have similar sex drives but our society, and really throughout history, men have been encouraged to 'sow their wild oats' and women have been told they have to be 'good girls'.  So men are used to giving in to their desires and women are used to putting their desires on hold.

No wonder relationships seem like such a challenge! Half the population doesn't feel like they have any control over their urges and the other half feels like their urges are wrong!

For anyone who wants a stable loving relationship you will need to re-think many of the concepts you were brought up to believe.  The truth is that anyone, men or women, will leave unfulfilled relationships and all but the most shallow people want to be fulfilled in many ways not just sexually.

In order to really have a loving long term relationship you need to have connections: physical, spiritual, and emotional.  These are necessary for the success of any long term relationship.  All people want to feel like they are accepted, understood, desired, and loved by their partners.

When one or more of these needs aren't met the relationship will start to fall apart.  For any woman who wants to know why men leave relationships so they can prevent it from happening to them, just remember to connect with your man on all of these levels, and both of you will be happy, fulfilled, and committed to the relationship forever.

What Type of Woman Do Men Consider Marriage Worthy?

What Type of Woman Do Men Consider Marriage Worthy?



Whether they openly admit it or not, most men want to marry a woman that is both sexy and smart. In other words, they want the ‘whole package’. And the great thing about intelligence is that you don’t have to be supermodel material to pull off sexy with your intellect.


Brains, confidence, and a having a point of view are just hot no matter how you package it. And the right man will see that immediately and, most likely, he will classify you as marriage material because of it.


Having a strong belief in yourself is another quality men find sexy in a woman; it’s a quality that differentiates you from the other women he might only classify as fling material. If you have a strong sense of self and know exactly who you are, men find that extremely attractive.


More importantly, by showing a man that you are strong and confident, he will also see you as a woman worthy of marriage. They figure if you can hold such a powerful belief in yourself, that then you could hold that kind of belief in him as well.


And deep down inside, men want you to believe in them. They want you to believe they can be the strong man you desire and need them to be.


Attract a man by approaching him from a place of strength and brains, rather than overt sex appeal, if you want him to see you as marriage material. And remember that, although first impressions do count, as a woman you hold  power and that power is you femininity. And it WORKS over men more than you realize!


Especially when getting a guy to choose you as his future wife. Use that power wisely and you just might be pleasantly surprised!