Overcoming Depression

Overcoming Depression

It’s like a double whammy: your relationship is over, and depression sets in. Now, you’re alone and depressed a fact which makes you even more depressed and lonely. Trying to break the cycle of depression can be difficult: the very things that you need to do to escape your depression are often the most difficult.

How can you get out of the depression cycle?

Take one day at a time, and start small. Don’t set grandiose plans for yourself – make it through today. Once you accomplish that, set plans for the next day. When you've mastered the one day at a time philosophy you can start to look forward and gradually will find that you've left your depression in the past.

Surround yourself with supportive friends and family. When you’re depressed, you want to stay home, usually in a darkened room, alone. You need to understand that depression will trick you into thinking that there is nothing wrong with secluding yourself – don’t listen to it.

It can be painful and difficult to make yourself interact with other people, so choose people who you trust. Letting people know your struggle can be helpful and will give you a sounding board when times get tough.

Be happy is a cliche that makes depressed people even more depressed. There is an idea that you should be able to just snap out of depression – a false idea that only leads to more trouble. When negativity creeps in, you can’t just will it away – you need to replace it with positive thoughts.

Think about what you would say to a friend if they were in the same situation. Keep a log of your negative thoughts, and what led you to those thoughts. By tracking your negativity, you can start to avoid the triggers of negativity and replace the bad with good thoughts.

Stay healthy. Taking care of yourself is a key element of overcoming depression. Making sure that you get at least eight hours of sleep, eating healthy and regular meals, getting exercise are all important physical things that you can do that have a direct effect on your mental state. Need an instant boost of happiness? Go for a walk outside. Sunshine is a quick shot of joy that can help lift the weight of depression.

Do things that you enjoy. Was painting a source of joy before the end of your relationship? Dust off your paint brushes and easel and start to paint again. If you enjoyed cooking, invite a friend over and try out some new recipes.

Read a good book or watch a movie that you've wanted to see. It may not be easy at first to make yourself get back into the things you used to love, but eventually you’ll find yourself enjoying them again – sometimes before you even realize that the depression has gone.

Depression does not have to be a permanent way of life for you. Give yourself permission to be happy and to start moving past your old relationship. It may take time, but you will eventually move beyond the depression into happiness again.

Trusting Again Means Trusting Yourself First

Trusting Again Means Trusting Yourself First:

   If someone has betrayed your trust, you may think the concept of trusting again is out of reach. Trust is one of those things that must be earned. Therefore, when it's misplaced, it's easy to simply put up a wall between you and the rest of the world to avoid it from ever happening again. Don't live a lonely dissatisfying life without a valuable relationship due to a breach of trust. You can move beyond the pain of broken trust. Just because one person betrayed you, doesn't mean everyone else will too.  Trusting again means gaining the confidence that everything will work out for the best, or even better than before.

 Two Kinds of Trust Basically, there are two kinds of trust. - Trusting Yourself- Trusting yourself means having the self-belief that all your decisions are based on kindness, love, and respect towards yourself. - Trusting Others- Having faith and trust in others means believing that their choices in life are based on the kindness, love, and respect they have towards you. It's harder to trust others if you don't trust yourself first.

 Be Kind and Loving to Yourself -You may think you have lost the ability to trust. But is that actually true? When you give your order at your favorite restaurant, don't you trust they will bring the food to you? Even though there's big trust and small trust, trust is still trust. What you really want is to believe and relax in the fact that you won't get hurt again. That takes trust. Focus on the positive aspects of people to bring out the positive in them. This will restore your confidence in others and bring back the trust factor.

 You are Perfect Just the Way You Are-  Contrary to what anyone says, you are a perfect and wholesome human being just the way you are. How do I know that? Because we all are. And the only reason you may feel like you are less than perfect is because you are not letting it naturally shine through, but it is definitely there. No one has the power to take anything away from you - including trust. You can never be "less" without a certain person's love, approval, and trust since you are "whole" in your natural state. Encourage the Possibilities,  Trust is an essential element to all human relations.

You can't start a new relationship if you truly believe that once someone betrays your trust, trust is gone forever. You simply cannot live in a past relationship and expect your new one to succeed. If you are still harboring feelings of resentment due to a betrayal, your new partner will feel it and likewise not trust you. How is this moving forward? It's time to start trusting again and be happy. Look for Trustworthy People Trusting again means actively looking for trust and kindness in others. What does your gut feeling (intuition) tell you about this person? If you are on the fence whether or not you should trust someone, watch and observe how they treat other people.

 Keep in mind you can't judge a book by its cover. Some of the most attractive people by all appearances have the ugliest behavior behind closed doors. If you are in a new relationship, don't give your heart away too fast. Start small and see where it goes. Even the smallest breach of trust is a red flag. This new person must earn both your trust and respect.

 Generally, if someone is trustworthy with the little things in life, it's a good indicator you can trust them with the big things as well. Believe that you deserve a trusting and long-lasting relationship and you will increase your chances of manifesting it. Remember, what you think about comes about. Trusting again - you can do it.

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A Love That Will Last

A Love That Will Last


On a certain day in a certain place ; A certain woman was looking at a face And suddenly, her life of uncertainty Became a memory.

For as she listened to him she knew Something unimaginable was coming true. In the instant that she feels it start She becomes aware of the beating of her heart . And a glow of warmth between her breasts Expands with the rhythm of her breath; Becoming a golden cord unseen By anyone but her in this waking dream.

Tentative at first, from her chest it starts then extends across space to touch his heart; And as it strengthens and continues to wind All around them it tightly binds Their destiny and their lives.

Because she knows with certainty The present is the future's past , And from this moment love will last...


 .

Secret Relationships Can They Work

Secret Relationships Can They Work

Secret relationships sound exciting and adventurous, don't they? Just having a secret is provocative, but when there's romance and sex involved that makes the secret even juicier. Do you like to know why secret relationships have such a big appeal, and that people wonder why you're smiling all the time?

Secret relationships aren't uncommon. But you should also realize that they don't always work. In fact, having a relationship that's a secret can put a huge strain on you as a couple. The odds of this type of relationship only lasting a short time are pretty high. 

It can be more difficult than you think to go very long without talking about the relationship. If it weren't secret, you would probably mention your partner throughout the day in casual conversation. Even just mentioning something you saw together or talked about would be a natural thing to do. 

But in secret relationships, you have to keep yourself from doing that. You might find it on the tip of your tongue to talk about your partner and have to catch yourself all the time. Having to censor yourself several times a day can be quite a source of stress. 

Add to that your partner's feelings about having to do the same thing. Between the two of you, that can add up to a lot of tension. 

There's also the worry about being seen together. People in hush-hush relationships don't have the luxury of going out go a great restaurant for dinner. They can't go see the latest movie together, or walk down the road holding hands. 

There are exceptions to this. If you're keeping the relationship secret because you're good friends and you don't want people to know it's become more, you can still be seen together. But you'll have to give only appearance of friendship around others. 

Some relationships are kept secret for that very reason. Friends have become more than that but don't want to jinx the relationship. Or they decide that their group of friends might not understand. And they think maybe keeping it a secret is a good idea in case things don't work out. Then the friends would never have to know. 

Many coworkers who start dating keep the secret for the same reason. Things would just be easier at work if other people didn't know, both while it's happening and in case it ends. And with work situations, such dating might be discouraged making the secret necessary. 

But by keeping it a secret for those reasons, it's as if you're saying that it's probably not going to work out. At least, you're showing that you have serious doubts about it. How healthy does it seem to be in a relationship that you must believe won't last, so much so that you're keeping it a secret?

While the relationship might be thrilling at first and seem like an adventure, the best way to have secret relationships is with the understanding that they'll only be secret for a short time.

How To Stop Cheating

How To Stop Cheating....

     Stories about cheating wives and husbands are dime-a-dozen. It's true, it has been this way since ancient times. There have been tales of scorned men and women dating back to the first pages of recorded history. And it continues today, with people you love, people you're friends with, people you admire on television — cheating just comes too natural for most people.

The problem with cheating is that it hurts the person you really want to be with for the long term. Unfortunately, people are only looking at the short term. Try thinking about the following scenario.

You're angry, or you feel rejected — you're tired of taking second place to a job or hobby — but after enough time goes by, you don't feel angry or rejected anymore. Afterall, they made it up to you by telling you they have been doing it for the both of you, for your future together — now how do you deal with that — do you tell them and clear your conscious...risking it all, or do you live with what you've done for months until it subsides...if it ever does.

Let's face reality, unless the person you're with is desperate or has very low self-esteem, he or she is going to have a real tough time trying to decide whether to stay or go.

Cheating is a destroyer of relationships — it destroys trust — it ruins everything good the other person ever felt — if you value the person you're with, you have to ask yourself if it's worth the risk of destroying what you two had together.

Now here are some ways to curb your cheating habits:

All you cheaters need to look at the statistics. Only one out of 100 relationships that start with infidelity work out. You might feel guilty about hurting your ex or your children. And speaking of children, now is the time to start thinking about the expensive and long dragged out custody battles — up to 21 years worth if they go to college. And if your ex is feeling a bit scorned, she isn't going to make a moment of it easy on you — Divorce is one of the most costly mistakes we will ever make in our life.

Will your new spouse ever trust you knowing that you cheated on your first spouse. Just throwing it out there.

Think ahead to how the courts will view you.

Think about how your children will view you.

Be honest with yourself and your new spouse/ partner — do you think you can be trusted now — are you going to say you're older and wiser now — or was it because you were too young to know what you really wanted out of life — will you believe any of it — will he or she believe any of it?  

How To Fall In Love

How To Fall In Love......

What would it be for you to find that after such a long, long time your heart is ready to trust. Your soul is ready to heal and your body is ready to feel those feelings of hope and passion. Can you imagine yourself placing your hand on the knob of that door unopened?

 Where once you locked away your dreams, fantasies and desires. Where once you placed those flickering embers of your heart until you could welcome their fire? When you know that you are ready now to fill that space within so that your long loneliness is finished and your happiness can begin.

 When you know that now you have finally found some one with whom you can share the peace and the passion , the warmth and the glow that once again you feel beginning to grow. In that secret place, once hidden so well now opening as if to the magic of a spell.

 A person may not know that you have already made that choice until you hear something special as you listen to a voice so close to your ear with whispers that remove all fear. Because you know whatever happens, you have chosen to live. You have chosen to give a priceless gift to yourself;  the gift of loving once again.