A blog from a Relationship Consultant. One that loves what he does and wants to share some of his learning experiences.
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Showing posts with label boyfriend get back together. Show all posts
Showing posts with label boyfriend get back together. Show all posts
Friday, March 7, 2014
Trusting Again Means Trusting Yourself First
Trusting Again Means Trusting Yourself First:
If someone has betrayed your trust, you may think the concept of trusting again is out of reach. Trust is one of those things that must be earned. Therefore, when it's misplaced, it's easy to simply put up a wall between you and the rest of the world to avoid it from ever happening again. Don't live a lonely dissatisfying life without a valuable relationship due to a breach of trust. You can move beyond the pain of broken trust. Just because one person betrayed you, doesn't mean everyone else will too. Trusting again means gaining the confidence that everything will work out for the best, or even better than before.
Two Kinds of Trust Basically, there are two kinds of trust. - Trusting Yourself- Trusting yourself means having the self-belief that all your decisions are based on kindness, love, and respect towards yourself. - Trusting Others- Having faith and trust in others means believing that their choices in life are based on the kindness, love, and respect they have towards you. It's harder to trust others if you don't trust yourself first.
Be Kind and Loving to Yourself -You may think you have lost the ability to trust. But is that actually true? When you give your order at your favorite restaurant, don't you trust they will bring the food to you? Even though there's big trust and small trust, trust is still trust. What you really want is to believe and relax in the fact that you won't get hurt again. That takes trust. Focus on the positive aspects of people to bring out the positive in them. This will restore your confidence in others and bring back the trust factor.
You are Perfect Just the Way You Are- Contrary to what anyone says, you are a perfect and wholesome human being just the way you are. How do I know that? Because we all are. And the only reason you may feel like you are less than perfect is because you are not letting it naturally shine through, but it is definitely there. No one has the power to take anything away from you - including trust. You can never be "less" without a certain person's love, approval, and trust since you are "whole" in your natural state. Encourage the Possibilities, Trust is an essential element to all human relations.
You can't start a new relationship if you truly believe that once someone betrays your trust, trust is gone forever. You simply cannot live in a past relationship and expect your new one to succeed. If you are still harboring feelings of resentment due to a betrayal, your new partner will feel it and likewise not trust you. How is this moving forward? It's time to start trusting again and be happy. Look for Trustworthy People Trusting again means actively looking for trust and kindness in others. What does your gut feeling (intuition) tell you about this person? If you are on the fence whether or not you should trust someone, watch and observe how they treat other people.
Keep in mind you can't judge a book by its cover. Some of the most attractive people by all appearances have the ugliest behavior behind closed doors. If you are in a new relationship, don't give your heart away too fast. Start small and see where it goes. Even the smallest breach of trust is a red flag. This new person must earn both your trust and respect.
Generally, if someone is trustworthy with the little things in life, it's a good indicator you can trust them with the big things as well. Believe that you deserve a trusting and long-lasting relationship and you will increase your chances of manifesting it. Remember, what you think about comes about. Trusting again - you can do it.
Tuesday, February 26, 2013
I’m So Happy I Could Cry I Got My Boyfriend Back
I’m So Happy I Could Cry I Got My Boyfriend Back.
I have been sitting here at the kitchen table with my best girlfriend, Lisa, crying and laughing at the same time. Actually both of us are so darn giddy, it's hilarious. And when we start laughing really, really hard, I almost pee on myself. Oh Gawd! I've started giggling again. Hold on a second, I have to stop laughing and then I'll tell you all about it.
Now let me tell you why we are so giddy. About six months ago my boyfriend dumped me. As you can imagine, I was completely devastated.I thought I was having a heart attack; it hurt so bad. I was so messed up. All I did was cry hour after hour. I couldn’t think, much less try to go to work. You know what I’m saying right?
About 3 days into the worst event of my life, a thought hit me. It was almost like a white hot electrical shock from a huge lightning bolt coming out of the sky and hitting me. I really, really love this guy and I want to spend the rest of my life with him. And the first question that popped into my mind was, "How do I get him back?"
I had already tried to text and call him, but he just plain ignored me. Then I went over to his house and almost got on my knees begging him to take me back. Mike was very gentle, as he explained what was going on with him and then he asked me to leave. And that’s when I blew my top. I just plain lost it. But I did leave.
After getting home I called Lisa, bawling my eyes out again and she rushed over; to comfort me and give some much needed advice.
Lisa had gone through the same thing with her boyfriend within the last year, so she knew what she was talking about. As we talked she told me how she had done the same things I had and they didn’t work for her either. “O.K.! Then how did you get Greg back?” I asked.
“Listen,” she said. “Donna, the first thing you have to do is stop acting like a fool. You’re going to have to take your time and figure out what caused Mike to breakup with you. Once we have that figured out we can layout a battle plan to get him back.” And trust me that‘s precisely what we did.
Lisa went online to your blog and began to list the things she had used and I was going to have to do to win my ex back:
* Start looking my best, all the time not just part of the time
* Determine why Mike and I had fallen in love the first time
* Start doing the things that had attracted Mike to me originally
* Stop texting, stop calling, stop going to his house
To make a long story short I followed Your wise advice and last night Mike asked me to marry him. Oh Gawd! The ring is beautiful. Now you know why I’m so giddy I could cry.
But I have to tell you without Lisa and your advice I would have lost Mike forever. P.S. Thank you so much Dr. Pharms,PhD.
Saturday, February 23, 2013
5 Tips For When Your Ex Wants To Get Back Together
5 Tips For When Your Ex Wants To Get Back Together
Some people end their relationship with a clean break. Both parties agree that they should not be together. Others will simply end the relationship on their terms. While they are done with the relationship, the other person will still want to stay together. This relationship can be difficult, as the person who ended the relationship must deal with the ex who wanted to stay together. There will come a time when your ex wants to get back together. Instead of making an irrational decision, follow these 5 tips. These tips will help you to make the best decision.
Consider Your First Relationship
If your ex wants to get together again, you need to consider the relationship that you had. Why did you break up in the first place? You need to consider the end of your first relationship before you consider another one. If the issue is something that cannot be repaired, you should not even bother with a reconciliation attempt.
Consider Your Life Now
You need to make sure that you consider your life now when considering getting back together with an ex. You may be willing to give it a shot, but do you have the time? Are you in a place in your life where you can handle a full relationship? The answers to these questions will help you in your final decision making process.
Be Patient and Kind
It is important for you to be patient and kind to your ex. They are dealing with a lot of emotions. You want to make sure that you do not make these emotions stronger. Be patient with them and listen to what they have to say. This conversation may be useful to you, as it may help you to make up your mind.
Talk To your Friends
Talk to your friends about the situation. Talk to them about how your ex feels, how you feel, and all of the different factors that will affect your decision. It will be good for you to say these things out loud to someone, as it can be helpful to talk it through with someone.
Make the Decision On Your Own
In the end, you need to make sure that you are making the decision on your own. You should not make this decision based on your ex, or on your friends. Take yourself and your own feelings into consideration. This should be the basis for your final decision.
You need to make sure that you are looking out for yourself. While you should take the words of your ex and your friends into consideration, you need to make the decision on your own. Think about what is best for you when your ex wants to get back together. When you think about your best interests, you will always make the right decision.
Friday, April 20, 2012
I Dumped Boyfriend And Now I Want Him Back
I Dumped Boyfriend And Now I Want Him Back
So you were dating a guy you really liked and then one day you noticed a tiny little issue about him that you didn't really like and you dumped boyfriend! Just like that! Out of the blue! But have you really dug down deep to try and understand why you dumped boyfriend?
Perhaps you've told yourself that it was the way he ate his food? Or the way he laughed or perhaps even something as earth shattering as the way that he walked? Whatever it was that made you turn around and end up with a dumped boyfriend, boy are you regretting it now because now, you want him back. But here's the thing he wants nothing to do with you and everything that you've tried so far to get him back, as failed.
Well, have you tried just leaving him alone for a while? Because pretty much you've hurt his feelings big time and he's doubtless feeling humiliated. If you've been calling him 24/7 and he's just not picking up, then that's a clear indication that he needs you to leave him alone.
So instead of bombarding him with text messages and calls, give him some space and take a look at the real hidden reasons that might have caused you to wake up one morning with a dumped boyfriend.
Truth is some women have been known to 'test' the relationship by ending it to see if their boyfriends will put up a fight for them and the relationship. If this is what you did, then this is basically flawed behavior. Not only that, ask yourself why you would even want to put someone who you clearly have feelings for through the upset of a breakup?
Usually anyone who tries to manipulate someone to this extreme, has deep rooted self-esteem issues that they should really think about working out. Your self-esteem is really the inner you. If you are suffering from low self-esteem then the little voice in your head often shouts negativity at you and tells you that you are just not good enough. Take the time to address this and you will be far happier.
To win back a dumped boyfriend you're going to have to clearly work on yourself. No self-respecting boyfriend wants to be around someone who is high maintenance and doesn't know her own mind. In future, make sure you're one hundred per cent sure about what you are doing and why you are doing it.
Instead of dumping the guy, why not sit and talk to him about your fears and your insecurities. He will think more of you if you are honest with him, rather than if you simply lash out on a whim and dump him for what appears to be no good reason.
Sunday, April 1, 2012
How To Win Your Ex Back Using Simple Reverse Psychology
How To Win Your Ex Back Using Simple Reverse Psychology
Figuring out how to win your ex back using reverse psychology might sound complicated, but it really isn't. All it means is using some straightforward methods that are designed to get your ex to sit up and take notice of you instead of ignoring you.
Your first step towards how to win your ex back involves you determining to make no contact with them. That means no texting, no calling and definitely no trying to see them. This might seem counter-intuitive to your ultimate goal, but look at it this way: if you stop calling your ex, especially when they've made it clear that they don't want to be contacted, then you appear calm, mature and in control of yourself. Once your ex begins to see you this way you are immediately more appealing than the desperate person you were who was bombarding them with calls.
Furthermore, this simple reverse psychology means that once you have stopped trying to make contact with your ex, then immediately your ex begins to wonder just what you're up to. They start wondering why you're not pursuing them and just like that you're on your spouse's mind and you're in their thoughts, which is just where you want to be.
Your next psychological move when you're trying to figure out how to win your ex back is to get out and about and have some fun. This is going to be another tough undertaking, but it beats staying home night after night on your own struggling to stop yourself from contacting your ex and thinking about them. So force yourself out there and make some new friends or hook up with old friends.
You've stopped calling them and you're out and about enjoying yourself. Once word gets back to your ex, they'll be surprised at how well you're coping. They might even be jealous because it appears, you don't have time for your ex and it's basic human nature to want that which is scarce and that's exactly what you will become. Just like that, you've become someone who is desired and not someone to be avoided.
Taking the steps towards understanding how to win your ex back really means looking after yourself first and foremost. When you concentrate on your own requirements first and foremost, without obsessing about what your ex wants and what you should do to please them, then you inadvertently find yourself using these simple forms of reverse psychology without even realizing it. So you see, it is not a complicated process and you will find that your ex will respond to you in a more open and amenable way.
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Saturday, March 24, 2012
Helping You and Your Boyfriend Get Back Together
Helping You and Your Boyfriend Get Back Together
You want you and your boyfriend to get back together. Do you feel lost without him? Are you feeling lonely now that he is gone? Are you desperate to get him back? If you want you and your boyfriend to get back together then you may need to change the way you approach him and the situation. If things went very fast and marriage seemed like a sure thing, he may have gotten scared off.
It could very well be that he felt smothered and didn't have enough space or didn't feel like he was in control, of his future. It could also be that you are pressuring him too much now and all he wants is to be away from you. Hopefully this is the case but if you push too much it very well could be. If what you want is you and your boyfriend get back together you have to be aware of this.
Your boyfriend may be like many males and thrive on being independent. They need their space from time to time. While the idea of marriage and commitment may have seemed appealing to them for a moment, reality could have set in and now they are feeling trapped. Males very often need to feel in charge. They need to feel in charge of not only themselves, but of situations.
If things start getting fast they don't feel so in control anymore. Once marriage or long term commitment starts getting discussed it is easy to feel that you are getting sucked into something if you don't feel ready. If they feel they aren't ready, they most likely aren't. If they feel like they are getting pushed down a road they don't think they want to go yet, they may push themselves away.
If he has pushed himself away and you really want you and your boyfriend get back together you are likely going to have to be secretive and sensitive about it. You will have to decide that you don't want to force him down the road. You want him to just walk with you and let him feel he is taking the lead. He needs to feel like he is choosing this direction.
Since there is no direction right now and you are dealing with a break up, now is actually a good time to get started back down that path. He may feel free and clear of you and to an extent very well may be. If he has any desire to talk with you and you are still on a friendly basis, just be available, but not too available. If he is going to call you, make it seem like you are hard to get on the phone. If he wants to make some plans with you, turn him down at first but ask for a rain check. The goal is to make him seem like he is pursuing you. Let him be in the hunt.
Also let him have something to hunt for. Sometimes the things most desired are the things that are hard to get.Those will also be the things that makes them more likely to go in for the prize which is what you want him to do. You want him to commit and if you make yourself someone worth hunting and let yourself be hunted and not necessarily caught, you may see you and your boyfriend get back together.
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