Overcoming Depression

Overcoming Depression

It’s like a double whammy: your relationship is over, and depression sets in. Now, you’re alone and depressed a fact which makes you even more depressed and lonely. Trying to break the cycle of depression can be difficult: the very things that you need to do to escape your depression are often the most difficult.

How can you get out of the depression cycle?

Take one day at a time, and start small. Don’t set grandiose plans for yourself – make it through today. Once you accomplish that, set plans for the next day. When you've mastered the one day at a time philosophy you can start to look forward and gradually will find that you've left your depression in the past.

Surround yourself with supportive friends and family. When you’re depressed, you want to stay home, usually in a darkened room, alone. You need to understand that depression will trick you into thinking that there is nothing wrong with secluding yourself – don’t listen to it.

It can be painful and difficult to make yourself interact with other people, so choose people who you trust. Letting people know your struggle can be helpful and will give you a sounding board when times get tough.

Be happy is a cliche that makes depressed people even more depressed. There is an idea that you should be able to just snap out of depression – a false idea that only leads to more trouble. When negativity creeps in, you can’t just will it away – you need to replace it with positive thoughts.

Think about what you would say to a friend if they were in the same situation. Keep a log of your negative thoughts, and what led you to those thoughts. By tracking your negativity, you can start to avoid the triggers of negativity and replace the bad with good thoughts.

Stay healthy. Taking care of yourself is a key element of overcoming depression. Making sure that you get at least eight hours of sleep, eating healthy and regular meals, getting exercise are all important physical things that you can do that have a direct effect on your mental state. Need an instant boost of happiness? Go for a walk outside. Sunshine is a quick shot of joy that can help lift the weight of depression.

Do things that you enjoy. Was painting a source of joy before the end of your relationship? Dust off your paint brushes and easel and start to paint again. If you enjoyed cooking, invite a friend over and try out some new recipes.

Read a good book or watch a movie that you've wanted to see. It may not be easy at first to make yourself get back into the things you used to love, but eventually you’ll find yourself enjoying them again – sometimes before you even realize that the depression has gone.

Depression does not have to be a permanent way of life for you. Give yourself permission to be happy and to start moving past your old relationship. It may take time, but you will eventually move beyond the depression into happiness again.

Should You Try Getting Over A Relationship Or Put Your Energy Into Getting Your Ex Back

Should You Try Getting Over A Relationship Or Put Your Energy Into Getting Your Ex Back

 When we split from a lover, we can either try getting over a relationship or try getting them back. It obviously depends on whether you still love your ex as to which one you chose. If you do want your ex back, you need to make every attempt to achieve this. You and only you know whether he or she makes you happy and would make your life complete. 

Your family and friends may try to advise you but remember that they are not impartial. They love you and hopefully want what is best for you but sometimes people act with their own interests in mind. If your friends are all single, they may have been jealous of your love affair and would prefer to keep you single. If they didn’t like your partner, they are not going to encourage you to get him/her back. Couples, as we know, break up for all sorts of reasons. Sometimes there is no coming back from the split and you have to accept it.

 Often especially if it was caused by something trivial or a misunderstanding, you could salvage things if only one of you would swallow their pride and initiate contact. Usually this will have to be the man as society still thinks it is the man who should do the chasing. A woman who makes the first move can be seen as being desperate. Examine your own feelings before you decide which option to choose. Do you want to get back with your ex, to dump them so they know how it feels?

 These are games for teenagers to play so if that is your motivation, do yourself a favor and move on. But if you really do believe this person to be your soul mate, you need to plan a way to get them back in your life. Try enlisting the help of their family and friends. Now there is a fine line between asking for help and becoming a stalker so take it slowly. Just happen to be at the places these people hang out i.e. bump into them by accident and see how MS/Mr ex is doing.

 Make sure you are looking good so that the reports back are favorable. If you haven’t slept for days, plaster on the makeup. You do not want it going back to your lover that you looked miserable and suicidal. You could always try the direct approach and contact your former partner. Ask them out for a friendly cup of coffee, tea or meal and see where it goes.

 You never know they could have been dying to make contact but were afraid that you would not entertain them. People are funny creatures –they will often let fear of the unknown hinder their future happiness. Whatever you decide, remember that we only get one shot at life. It is not a dress rehearsal. Getting over a relationship or getting back with your ex are both achievable, the question is which one do you want to succeed at.