A blog from a Relationship Consultant. One that loves what he does and wants to share some of his learning experiences.
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Friday, May 31, 2013
A Love That Will Last
A Love That Will Last
On a certain day in a certain place ; A certain woman was looking at a face And suddenly, her life of uncertainty Became a memory.
For as she listened to him she knew Something unimaginable was coming true. In the instant that she feels it start She becomes aware of the beating of her heart . And a glow of warmth between her breasts Expands with the rhythm of her breath; Becoming a golden cord unseen By anyone but her in this waking dream.
Tentative at first, from her chest it starts then extends across space to touch his heart; And as it strengthens and continues to wind All around them it tightly binds Their destiny and their lives.
Because she knows with certainty The present is the future's past , And from this moment love will last...
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Wednesday, May 15, 2013
Secret Relationships Can They Work
Secret Relationships Can They Work Secret relationships sound exciting and adventurous, don't they? Just having a secret is provocative, but when there's romance and sex involved that makes the secret even juicier. Do you like to know why secret relationships have such a big appeal, and that people wonder why you're smiling all the time?
Secret relationships aren't uncommon. But you should also realize that they don't always work. In fact, having a relationship that's a secret can put a huge strain on you as a couple. The odds of this type of relationship only lasting a short time are pretty high. It can be more difficult than you think to go very long without talking about the relationship. If it weren't secret, you would probably mention your partner throughout the day in casual conversation. Even just mentioning something you saw together or talked about would be a natural thing to do. But in secret relationships, you have to keep yourself from doing that. You might find it on the tip of your tongue to talk about your partner and have to catch yourself all the time. Having to censor yourself several times a day can be quite a source of stress. Add to that your partner's feelings about having to do the same thing. Between the two of you, that can add up to a lot of tension. There's also the worry about being seen together. People in hush-hush relationships don't have the luxury of going out go a great restaurant for dinner. They can't go see the latest movie together, or walk down the road holding hands. There are exceptions to this. If you're keeping the relationship secret because you're good friends and you don't want people to know it's become more, you can still be seen together. But you'll have to give only appearance of friendship around others. Some relationships are kept secret for that very reason. Friends have become more than that but don't want to jinx the relationship. Or they decide that their group of friends might not understand. And they think maybe keeping it a secret is a good idea in case things don't work out. Then the friends would never have to know. Many coworkers who start dating keep the secret for the same reason. Things would just be easier at work if other people didn't know, both while it's happening and in case it ends. And with work situations, such dating might be discouraged making the secret necessary. But by keeping it a secret for those reasons, it's as if you're saying that it's probably not going to work out. At least, you're showing that you have serious doubts about it. How healthy does it seem to be in a relationship that you must believe won't last, so much so that you're keeping it a secret? While the relationship might be thrilling at first and seem like an adventure, the best way to have secret relationships is with the understanding that they'll only be secret for a short time.
Tuesday, April 30, 2013
How To Stop Cheating
How To
Stop Cheating....
Stories about cheating
wives and husbands are dime-a-dozen. It's true, it has been this way since
ancient times. There have been tales of scorned men and women dating back to
the first pages of recorded history. And it continues today, with people you love,
people you're friends with, people you admire on television — cheating just
comes too natural for most people.
The problem with cheating
is that it hurts the person you really want to be with for the long term.
Unfortunately, people are only looking at the short term. Try thinking about
the following scenario.
You're angry, or you feel
rejected — you're tired of taking second place to a job or hobby — but after
enough time goes by, you don't feel angry or rejected anymore. Afterall, they
made it up to you by telling you they have been doing it for the both of you,
for your future together — now how do you deal with that — do you tell them and
clear your conscious...risking it all, or do you live with what you've done for
months until it subsides...if it ever does.
Let's face reality, unless
the person you're with is desperate or has very low self-esteem, he or she is
going to have a real tough time trying to decide whether to stay or go.
Cheating is a destroyer of
relationships — it destroys trust — it ruins everything good the other person
ever felt — if you value the person you're with, you have to ask yourself if
it's worth the risk of destroying what you two had together.
Now here are some ways to curb your cheating habits:
All you cheaters need to
look at the statistics. Only one out of 100 relationships that start with
infidelity work out. You might feel guilty about hurting your ex or your
children. And speaking of children, now is the time to start thinking about the
expensive and long dragged out custody battles — up to 21 years worth if they
go to college. And if your ex is feeling a bit scorned, she isn't going to make
a moment of it easy on you — Divorce is one of the most costly mistakes we will
ever make in our life.
Will your new spouse ever
trust you knowing that you cheated on your first spouse. Just throwing it out
there.
Think ahead to how the
courts will view you.
Think about how your
children will view you.
Wednesday, April 17, 2013
How To Fall In Love
How To Fall In Love......
What would it be for you to find that after such a long, long time your heart is ready to trust. Your soul is ready to heal and your body is ready to feel those feelings of hope and passion. Can you imagine yourself placing your hand on the knob of that door unopened?
Where once you locked away your dreams, fantasies and desires. Where once you placed those flickering embers of your heart until you could welcome their fire? When you know that you are ready now to fill that space within so that your long loneliness is finished and your happiness can begin.
When you know that now you have finally found some one with whom you can share the peace and the passion , the warmth and the glow that once again you feel beginning to grow. In that secret place, once hidden so well now opening as if to the magic of a spell.
A person may not know that you have already made that choice until you hear something special as you listen to a voice so close to your ear with whispers that remove all fear. Because you know whatever happens, you have chosen to live. You have chosen to give a priceless gift to yourself; the gift of loving once again.
Sunday, April 14, 2013
Want A Happy Marriage - Search For The Glue That Will Hold You Together
Want A Happy Marriage - Search For The Glue That Will Hold You Together If you want a happy marriage, search for the glue that will bind you together. That is advice given through the generations and like a lot of comments from older people, it is worth listening to. Every relationship is different, as unique as the two people involved in it. Your mutual attraction, shared memories and lifestyle will help to keep you together and prevent you becoming yet another statistic. But you cannot afford to just sit back and assume that you will always be happy. Happy marriages take work. Couples need to realize that they must spend time on their relationship as well as time apart in order to stand the best chance of staying together. People often make the mistake of putting their kids first all the time. While your children are important, the relationship between you their parents is equally so. What better example can you set for your children than to have them growing up in a home where everyone is valued and their contribution to family life is appreciated. You want your children to grow up knowing how to treat other people properly. They learn from example so be sure that the example you are giving them is the one you want them to follow. In a happy relationship both parties know that the other person will always be there for them. This doesn't mean that they will always take their side in an argument but that they will not be abusive or disparaging or disrespectful. You need to develop good listening skills. The lord gave us two ears and one mouth for a reason. You need to learn to really listen to your partner and try to appreciate what they are saying to you. Poor communication does not result in you celebrating forty or fifty years of married bliss. Spend time together - this seems like an obvious one but if you look back over the last month how much time have you two actually spent alone together. Staring at the TV screen every evening doesn't count. If you have to put a time in the diary but make sure that you spend at least one evening every two weeks together enjoying quality time. If your intimate relationship needs some work, don't ignore it. Mutual attraction and desire played a huge part in you getting together in the first place. You should still find each other attractive. The good news is that the more you make love to your spouse the more your body will want it.
Making love to your spouse releases feel good chemicals and thus your body craves these good feelings. Even if you have to make a huge effort to get into the mood try and soon you may just find that it doesn't take that much effort anymore!
Finding the right partner to spend the rest of your life with is difficult but it is easy compared to keeping your marriage on the right track. Don't put your head in the sand. You want a happy marriage? Search and apply some the techniques mentioned here and you can be as happy as you wish.
Wednesday, April 10, 2013
How To Build Trust In A Relationship
How To Build Trust In A Relationship
Building trust in a relationship can be very difficult depending on the circumstances. If one partner had an affair, then it may take several years to build trust in a relationship. It can be done and marriages survive affairs but it will take time. The person who had the affair will need to apologize to his/her partner and then be prepared for that person to learn to trust them again.
But trust is something that needs to be built up in every partnership. After all you are going to share your life with this other person so you need to know that they share the same values as you do. If you are trying to build mutual reliance there are several ways of doing this:
1) Make sure your words and actions match. If you say you are going to be home at a certain time, then make sure you are or else phone in advance to explain why. It is the little gestures that define who we are.
2) Always tell the truth no matter how painful. Lies destroy every type of relationship from friendships through to marriage. Telling the truth isn't always the easy option but it is the safest. If your partner knows that you always tell the truth, they will trust you much quicker. If they hear you telling lies to others, even those that you dismiss as being small they will have less belief in you.
3) Do not keep secrets when in a relationship. Now I don't mean that you have to tell your new partner your deepest secrets but as soon as the relationship looks like it is becoming serious, it is a good time to make sure that any relevant history is out in the open.
4) You need to have faith in your partner before expecting them to return that trust. If you have to text them morning and night wondering where they are and who they are with, they are likely to think you have something to hide.
5) Don't be unrealistic. All relationships have issues even those that have been happily married for 50 years. You need to accept that being part of a couple means that you take the good times and the bad. If you bolt at the first sign of trouble, your partner is never likely to trust you.
6) Finally rely on yourself to do the right thing. You must first know yourself and trust in your ability to make the right choices before you can trust anyone else. You have to know what your own goals and aspirations are in life before you can share a meaningful existence with someone else. Somebody with a defined sense of values is more likely to trust another person as they will quickly recognize these similar values.
All good relationships are built on a number of factors so learn how to build trust in a relationship now to increase your chance of success.
Thursday, April 4, 2013
5 Types of Love Letters to Write to a Boyfriend or Girlfriend
A love letter can be the perfect way to convey your emotions to the person that you care about. Unfortunately, writing this love letter can prove to be a difficult task. While some people can write down their emotions easily, others struggle with the idea of a love letter altogether. If you want to pen a love letter, here are five different types of love letters to write to a boyfriend or girlfriend.
Things Unsaid
The first type of love letter to consider is the love letter that holds all of the things that you do not say. This is the perfect love letter for those who are shy about your emotions. You can write down all of the positive things you see in your significant other and in your relationship. When you write down the things you never say, you open your lover up to a new side of your emotions. This is a powerful way to show your soul mate how much he means to you.
Things You Always Say
Another love letter to consider is a letter that simply consists of the things that you say on a normal basis. Putting these thoughts and words into a letter will give your sweetheart a simple reminder of your love, commitment and emotion. They can take the letter with them wherever they go, reminding themselves of the things they usually hear from you.
Poetry
If you are feeling creative, write a poem. You can easily write poems that convey all of the emotions that you feel for your one and only and for your relationship. A poem will show your sweetie that you care enough to take the time to craft something special for them.
Song Lyrics
If you enjoy music, consider writing song lyrics about your lover. You can write lyrics to a song that already exists, or create a brand new song. Either option will show your honey that you are thinking of them and will let them know exactly how you feel about them.
There are some relationships that thrive off of sarcasm and humor. If you have this kind of relationship, consider a humorous love letter. This love letter will still convey your emotions, but will do so in a way that your boyfriend will find enjoyable.
There are multiple approaches that you can take to the love letter-writing process. You simply need to think about the person that you are dating, and the kind of relationship that you have. Certain types of love letters will fit your relationship, while others will not. Take the time to consider what you want to say, and to find the correct way to say it. While it may take a little extra work to take these things into consideration, it will help you to know what love letters to write to a boyfriend or girlfriend.
Thursday, March 28, 2013
4 Ways to Say Sorry to Your Boyfriend Or Girlfriend
4 Ways to Say Sorry to Your Boyfriend Or Girlfriend
It can be incredibly difficult to tell your sweetheart that you are sorry. For some, it can be difficult because of the embarrassment that they feel from their wrong-doings. For others, it can be difficult because they are simply too stubborn to apologize for something. Either way, it is important to say sorry to someone that you care about when you have done something wrong. If you are struggling with an apology, consider these 4 ways to say sorry to your boyfriend or girlfriend.
The Simple Apology
Sometimes, all you need to do is give your boyfriend or girlfriend a simple apology. This form of apology is best for those small issues that don't really require serious thought. This can be the hardest apology for those who have issues with their ego, as those that are stubborn often hate apologizing. It is also important to note that the simple apology may not work for bigger issues. If the wrong-doing is somewhat serious, a simple apology will come across as insincere.
The Long Talk
If you have done something wrong, you may need to sit down and have a talk with your lover. Talk to them about how you made them feel, and why they are upset. Apologize, but talk about this apology. Talk to your significant other about what you did, and the steps that you will take to ensure that it never happens again. A long and serious talk is the most heartfelt way to apologize to your soul mate.
Giving Gifts
Gift giving is often seen as a secondary way to apologize for an action. While you have a normal apology, you back the apology up with gifts. The gifts are intended to make up for the problem. While gift giving will not solve your problems, it can help to make your sweet heart feel better. They may be more willing to accept your apology if you are making the extra effort to make them happy.
Going Out
Another way to support your apology is to treat your honey to a night out. Your lover may feel better about the situation if they can enjoy a night with you. While the apology is important, it is also important to remember why you are together. If you enjoy a night together, your apology may be accepted more easily.
You need to think about the action that you are apologizing for before you actually make the apology. There may be some instances that will benefit from a simple apology. There are other issues that may require a more intense apology.
Take the time to fully understand the reason for the apology and the apology method that will be appropriate. While it may seem like a lot of work, you want to make sure that you say sorry to your boyfriend or girlfriend in a way that will mend your relationship.
Monday, March 25, 2013
Defining men’s relationship angle
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE:
Defining men’s relationship angle
Information that would help
women perceive men’s reactions in a better fashion
March 22, 2013- Understanding the opposite sex has always been a topic for extensive
debate. While each one has a different
perspective about various aspects in life, it is obvious that there needs to be
a bridge of consensus in order to maintain a peaceful life.
Dr. Paul Pharms, PhD, a renowned relationship consultant and a
specialist in enabling people through self-empowerment has created two very
helpful videos that would provide all the answers to the most pertinent
questions a woman would have about men in general. Often women find it challenging to comprehend
men’s actions when it comes to maintaining a relationship. The numerous books and educational material
on men’s behavior doesn’t provide answers to these questions either. This would lead to a belief which would be
hard to alter and in turn would hamper the relation to a great extent.
The videos that are created by Dr. Pharms are focused on providing an
insight into men’s thought process when it comes to handling a
relationship. Certainly there are
differences however with love and understanding people would become more
accepting of the differences. Only when
the actual thought process is understood one would be able to react in the
desired manner. This is the sole aim of
the videos and the end result would be bridge some of the gaps that occur
through the changes in reaction and work it out for bettering the relationship.
Having worked as a relationship consultant Dr. Pharms brings forward
the common scenarios with solutions that would help every man and woman respond well to their partners. The gender
differences are bound to hinder the thinking and when it comes to two different
mindsets living together a lot of disagreements do happen. The true meaning of relationship is to bring
the differences to a platform where they can be worked out collectively for a
positive outcome.
These videos are a perfect guide for those who wish to embark on a new relationship or work on a broken relationship. It also provides a few insights that can help those in a relationship and often have questions about the differences that arise. For viewing the videos visit http://resilientinvestor.blogspot.in/ . Dr. Pharms has listed many articles in his blog that have helped many couples come together and stay united for long. Visit the site mentioned above to contact Dr. Pharms for any other additional relationship advice.
These videos are a perfect guide for those who wish to embark on a new relationship or work on a broken relationship. It also provides a few insights that can help those in a relationship and often have questions about the differences that arise. For viewing the videos visit http://resilientinvestor.blogspot.in/ . Dr. Pharms has listed many articles in his blog that have helped many couples come together and stay united for long. Visit the site mentioned above to contact Dr. Pharms for any other additional relationship advice.
Media Contact:
Defining men’s relationship angle
Dr. Paul Pharms, PhD
http://resilientinvestor.blogspot.in/
Thursday, March 21, 2013
Does My Boyfriend Really Love Me 5 Actions to Look For
Does My Boyfriend Really Love Me 5 Actions to Look For
It can be hard to fully understand the emotions of your partner. While you may try to get into their mind, you may still struggle to understand how they feel. You may find yourself asking, 'Does my boyfriend really love me?' Each relationship will have different signs and signals that will answer this question. With that being said, there are five different actions that may show that your boyfriend loves you.
He Does the Small Things
People tend to focus about the larger aspects of relationships. They often fail to look at the smaller aspects of their relationship. This is unfortunate, as most of the tell-tale signs of love can be found in the small things. Does your boyfriend work to make you smile? Is he extra-corny just to make you laugh? Is he making you dinner, or letting you pick the movie? All of these small things show that your boyfriend is looking out for your feelings and emotions, and that he does have strong emotions for you.
He's Talking about the Future
One of the biggest indicators of love is any talk that discusses the future. If he is talking about future dates, or future actions, you can know that he sees you in his future. Whether it be the immediate future, or a distant future, you can be sure that he loves you or at the very least cares deeply for you.
He's Taking you Out
Does your boyfriend take you out to dinner, or out on the town? If your boyfriend likes to entertain you, he has strong emotions for you that could be love.
He's Showing you Off to Friends
Your boyfriend would not show you off to his friends if he did not love you. Is your boyfriend inviting you to hang out with his friends? Does he constantly talk to his friends about you? These are clear signs that he values your relationship.
He Wants you to Meet the Family
One of the biggest steps in a relationship is the step that introduces you to your boyfriends family. Most men will not introduce a partner to their family unless they see potential in the relationship. If your boyfriend did not see this future, he would not introduce you to parents, brothers, or sisters. If he wants you to meet the family, you can be sure that he loves you.
Your boyfriend may not be the best at verbalizing his love for you. If he does struggle to vocalize his feelings, look at his actions. If you notice that his actions signify a deep emotion, you can know that your boyfriend loves you. If you find yourself asking 'Does my boyfriend really love me?', simply look for these few actions. If you notice one or more of these actions, you can be sure that your boyfriend loves you or cares deeply for you.
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