A blog from a Relationship Consultant. One that loves what he does and wants to share some of his learning experiences.
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Wednesday, April 17, 2013
How To Fall In Love
How To Fall In Love......
What would it be for you to find that after such a long, long time your heart is ready to trust. Your soul is ready to heal and your body is ready to feel those feelings of hope and passion. Can you imagine yourself placing your hand on the knob of that door unopened?
Where once you locked away your dreams, fantasies and desires. Where once you placed those flickering embers of your heart until you could welcome their fire? When you know that you are ready now to fill that space within so that your long loneliness is finished and your happiness can begin.
When you know that now you have finally found some one with whom you can share the peace and the passion , the warmth and the glow that once again you feel beginning to grow. In that secret place, once hidden so well now opening as if to the magic of a spell.
A person may not know that you have already made that choice until you hear something special as you listen to a voice so close to your ear with whispers that remove all fear. Because you know whatever happens, you have chosen to live. You have chosen to give a priceless gift to yourself; the gift of loving once again.
Sunday, April 14, 2013
Want A Happy Marriage - Search For The Glue That Will Hold You Together
Want A Happy Marriage - Search For The Glue That Will Hold You Together If you want a happy marriage, search for the glue that will bind you together. That is advice given through the generations and like a lot of comments from older people, it is worth listening to. Every relationship is different, as unique as the two people involved in it. Your mutual attraction, shared memories and lifestyle will help to keep you together and prevent you becoming yet another statistic. But you cannot afford to just sit back and assume that you will always be happy. Happy marriages take work. Couples need to realize that they must spend time on their relationship as well as time apart in order to stand the best chance of staying together. People often make the mistake of putting their kids first all the time. While your children are important, the relationship between you their parents is equally so. What better example can you set for your children than to have them growing up in a home where everyone is valued and their contribution to family life is appreciated. You want your children to grow up knowing how to treat other people properly. They learn from example so be sure that the example you are giving them is the one you want them to follow. In a happy relationship both parties know that the other person will always be there for them. This doesn't mean that they will always take their side in an argument but that they will not be abusive or disparaging or disrespectful. You need to develop good listening skills. The lord gave us two ears and one mouth for a reason. You need to learn to really listen to your partner and try to appreciate what they are saying to you. Poor communication does not result in you celebrating forty or fifty years of married bliss. Spend time together - this seems like an obvious one but if you look back over the last month how much time have you two actually spent alone together. Staring at the TV screen every evening doesn't count. If you have to put a time in the diary but make sure that you spend at least one evening every two weeks together enjoying quality time. If your intimate relationship needs some work, don't ignore it. Mutual attraction and desire played a huge part in you getting together in the first place. You should still find each other attractive. The good news is that the more you make love to your spouse the more your body will want it.
Making love to your spouse releases feel good chemicals and thus your body craves these good feelings. Even if you have to make a huge effort to get into the mood try and soon you may just find that it doesn't take that much effort anymore!
Finding the right partner to spend the rest of your life with is difficult but it is easy compared to keeping your marriage on the right track. Don't put your head in the sand. You want a happy marriage? Search and apply some the techniques mentioned here and you can be as happy as you wish.
Wednesday, April 10, 2013
How To Build Trust In A Relationship
How To Build Trust In A Relationship
Building trust in a relationship can be very difficult depending on the circumstances. If one partner had an affair, then it may take several years to build trust in a relationship. It can be done and marriages survive affairs but it will take time. The person who had the affair will need to apologize to his/her partner and then be prepared for that person to learn to trust them again.
But trust is something that needs to be built up in every partnership. After all you are going to share your life with this other person so you need to know that they share the same values as you do. If you are trying to build mutual reliance there are several ways of doing this:
1) Make sure your words and actions match. If you say you are going to be home at a certain time, then make sure you are or else phone in advance to explain why. It is the little gestures that define who we are.
2) Always tell the truth no matter how painful. Lies destroy every type of relationship from friendships through to marriage. Telling the truth isn't always the easy option but it is the safest. If your partner knows that you always tell the truth, they will trust you much quicker. If they hear you telling lies to others, even those that you dismiss as being small they will have less belief in you.
3) Do not keep secrets when in a relationship. Now I don't mean that you have to tell your new partner your deepest secrets but as soon as the relationship looks like it is becoming serious, it is a good time to make sure that any relevant history is out in the open.
4) You need to have faith in your partner before expecting them to return that trust. If you have to text them morning and night wondering where they are and who they are with, they are likely to think you have something to hide.
5) Don't be unrealistic. All relationships have issues even those that have been happily married for 50 years. You need to accept that being part of a couple means that you take the good times and the bad. If you bolt at the first sign of trouble, your partner is never likely to trust you.
6) Finally rely on yourself to do the right thing. You must first know yourself and trust in your ability to make the right choices before you can trust anyone else. You have to know what your own goals and aspirations are in life before you can share a meaningful existence with someone else. Somebody with a defined sense of values is more likely to trust another person as they will quickly recognize these similar values.
All good relationships are built on a number of factors so learn how to build trust in a relationship now to increase your chance of success.
Thursday, April 4, 2013
5 Types of Love Letters to Write to a Boyfriend or Girlfriend
A love letter can be the perfect way to convey your emotions to the person that you care about. Unfortunately, writing this love letter can prove to be a difficult task. While some people can write down their emotions easily, others struggle with the idea of a love letter altogether. If you want to pen a love letter, here are five different types of love letters to write to a boyfriend or girlfriend.
Things Unsaid
The first type of love letter to consider is the love letter that holds all of the things that you do not say. This is the perfect love letter for those who are shy about your emotions. You can write down all of the positive things you see in your significant other and in your relationship. When you write down the things you never say, you open your lover up to a new side of your emotions. This is a powerful way to show your soul mate how much he means to you.
Things You Always Say
Another love letter to consider is a letter that simply consists of the things that you say on a normal basis. Putting these thoughts and words into a letter will give your sweetheart a simple reminder of your love, commitment and emotion. They can take the letter with them wherever they go, reminding themselves of the things they usually hear from you.
Poetry
If you are feeling creative, write a poem. You can easily write poems that convey all of the emotions that you feel for your one and only and for your relationship. A poem will show your sweetie that you care enough to take the time to craft something special for them.
Song Lyrics
If you enjoy music, consider writing song lyrics about your lover. You can write lyrics to a song that already exists, or create a brand new song. Either option will show your honey that you are thinking of them and will let them know exactly how you feel about them.
There are some relationships that thrive off of sarcasm and humor. If you have this kind of relationship, consider a humorous love letter. This love letter will still convey your emotions, but will do so in a way that your boyfriend will find enjoyable.
There are multiple approaches that you can take to the love letter-writing process. You simply need to think about the person that you are dating, and the kind of relationship that you have. Certain types of love letters will fit your relationship, while others will not. Take the time to consider what you want to say, and to find the correct way to say it. While it may take a little extra work to take these things into consideration, it will help you to know what love letters to write to a boyfriend or girlfriend.
Thursday, March 28, 2013
4 Ways to Say Sorry to Your Boyfriend Or Girlfriend
4 Ways to Say Sorry to Your Boyfriend Or Girlfriend
It can be incredibly difficult to tell your sweetheart that you are sorry. For some, it can be difficult because of the embarrassment that they feel from their wrong-doings. For others, it can be difficult because they are simply too stubborn to apologize for something. Either way, it is important to say sorry to someone that you care about when you have done something wrong. If you are struggling with an apology, consider these 4 ways to say sorry to your boyfriend or girlfriend.
The Simple Apology
Sometimes, all you need to do is give your boyfriend or girlfriend a simple apology. This form of apology is best for those small issues that don't really require serious thought. This can be the hardest apology for those who have issues with their ego, as those that are stubborn often hate apologizing. It is also important to note that the simple apology may not work for bigger issues. If the wrong-doing is somewhat serious, a simple apology will come across as insincere.
The Long Talk
If you have done something wrong, you may need to sit down and have a talk with your lover. Talk to them about how you made them feel, and why they are upset. Apologize, but talk about this apology. Talk to your significant other about what you did, and the steps that you will take to ensure that it never happens again. A long and serious talk is the most heartfelt way to apologize to your soul mate.
Giving Gifts
Gift giving is often seen as a secondary way to apologize for an action. While you have a normal apology, you back the apology up with gifts. The gifts are intended to make up for the problem. While gift giving will not solve your problems, it can help to make your sweet heart feel better. They may be more willing to accept your apology if you are making the extra effort to make them happy.
Going Out
Another way to support your apology is to treat your honey to a night out. Your lover may feel better about the situation if they can enjoy a night with you. While the apology is important, it is also important to remember why you are together. If you enjoy a night together, your apology may be accepted more easily.
You need to think about the action that you are apologizing for before you actually make the apology. There may be some instances that will benefit from a simple apology. There are other issues that may require a more intense apology.
Take the time to fully understand the reason for the apology and the apology method that will be appropriate. While it may seem like a lot of work, you want to make sure that you say sorry to your boyfriend or girlfriend in a way that will mend your relationship.
Monday, March 25, 2013
Defining men’s relationship angle
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE:
Defining men’s relationship angle
Information that would help
women perceive men’s reactions in a better fashion
March 22, 2013- Understanding the opposite sex has always been a topic for extensive
debate. While each one has a different
perspective about various aspects in life, it is obvious that there needs to be
a bridge of consensus in order to maintain a peaceful life.
Dr. Paul Pharms, PhD, a renowned relationship consultant and a
specialist in enabling people through self-empowerment has created two very
helpful videos that would provide all the answers to the most pertinent
questions a woman would have about men in general. Often women find it challenging to comprehend
men’s actions when it comes to maintaining a relationship. The numerous books and educational material
on men’s behavior doesn’t provide answers to these questions either. This would lead to a belief which would be
hard to alter and in turn would hamper the relation to a great extent.
The videos that are created by Dr. Pharms are focused on providing an
insight into men’s thought process when it comes to handling a
relationship. Certainly there are
differences however with love and understanding people would become more
accepting of the differences. Only when
the actual thought process is understood one would be able to react in the
desired manner. This is the sole aim of
the videos and the end result would be bridge some of the gaps that occur
through the changes in reaction and work it out for bettering the relationship.
Having worked as a relationship consultant Dr. Pharms brings forward
the common scenarios with solutions that would help every man and woman respond well to their partners. The gender
differences are bound to hinder the thinking and when it comes to two different
mindsets living together a lot of disagreements do happen. The true meaning of relationship is to bring
the differences to a platform where they can be worked out collectively for a
positive outcome.
These videos are a perfect guide for those who wish to embark on a new relationship or work on a broken relationship. It also provides a few insights that can help those in a relationship and often have questions about the differences that arise. For viewing the videos visit http://resilientinvestor.blogspot.in/ . Dr. Pharms has listed many articles in his blog that have helped many couples come together and stay united for long. Visit the site mentioned above to contact Dr. Pharms for any other additional relationship advice.
These videos are a perfect guide for those who wish to embark on a new relationship or work on a broken relationship. It also provides a few insights that can help those in a relationship and often have questions about the differences that arise. For viewing the videos visit http://resilientinvestor.blogspot.in/ . Dr. Pharms has listed many articles in his blog that have helped many couples come together and stay united for long. Visit the site mentioned above to contact Dr. Pharms for any other additional relationship advice.
Media Contact:
Defining men’s relationship angle
Dr. Paul Pharms, PhD
http://resilientinvestor.blogspot.in/
Thursday, March 21, 2013
Does My Boyfriend Really Love Me 5 Actions to Look For
Does My Boyfriend Really Love Me 5 Actions to Look For
It can be hard to fully understand the emotions of your partner. While you may try to get into their mind, you may still struggle to understand how they feel. You may find yourself asking, 'Does my boyfriend really love me?' Each relationship will have different signs and signals that will answer this question. With that being said, there are five different actions that may show that your boyfriend loves you.
He Does the Small Things
People tend to focus about the larger aspects of relationships. They often fail to look at the smaller aspects of their relationship. This is unfortunate, as most of the tell-tale signs of love can be found in the small things. Does your boyfriend work to make you smile? Is he extra-corny just to make you laugh? Is he making you dinner, or letting you pick the movie? All of these small things show that your boyfriend is looking out for your feelings and emotions, and that he does have strong emotions for you.
He's Talking about the Future
One of the biggest indicators of love is any talk that discusses the future. If he is talking about future dates, or future actions, you can know that he sees you in his future. Whether it be the immediate future, or a distant future, you can be sure that he loves you or at the very least cares deeply for you.
He's Taking you Out
Does your boyfriend take you out to dinner, or out on the town? If your boyfriend likes to entertain you, he has strong emotions for you that could be love.
He's Showing you Off to Friends
Your boyfriend would not show you off to his friends if he did not love you. Is your boyfriend inviting you to hang out with his friends? Does he constantly talk to his friends about you? These are clear signs that he values your relationship.
He Wants you to Meet the Family
One of the biggest steps in a relationship is the step that introduces you to your boyfriends family. Most men will not introduce a partner to their family unless they see potential in the relationship. If your boyfriend did not see this future, he would not introduce you to parents, brothers, or sisters. If he wants you to meet the family, you can be sure that he loves you.
Your boyfriend may not be the best at verbalizing his love for you. If he does struggle to vocalize his feelings, look at his actions. If you notice that his actions signify a deep emotion, you can know that your boyfriend loves you. If you find yourself asking 'Does my boyfriend really love me?', simply look for these few actions. If you notice one or more of these actions, you can be sure that your boyfriend loves you or cares deeply for you.
Saturday, March 16, 2013
Serious Questions to Ask Your Partner
Serious Questions to Ask Your Partner
When you first get into a relationship, you are simply excited about your new love. You will often avoid many important relationship topics and conversations when you first fall in love with someone. With that being said, there are multiple questions and topics that should be covered by these who are in a more relationship. These are some of the serious questions to ask your partner as your relationship continues to get more serious.
What Do You Think about Children?
If you find that your relationship is getting more and more serious, you need to start thinking about your future goals. If you are dead-set on having a child, and your partner is dead-set on not having children, you may have an issue. While it may not be grounds to break up right away, it is something to keep in the back of your mind as you find your relationship to be more serious.
Is This Long Term?
You need to be upfront with your partner about your wants and needs. IF you are looking for a long-term relationship, you need to tell them this. They will then be able to tell you whether or not they are on the same page.
What Are Your Thoughts on Monogamy?
It is important to be on the same page as far as monogamy is concerned. You need to ask this relatively soon. Be clear and firm about your stance on the issue, and make sure that you clearly understand their thoughts on monogamy as well.
Am I a Priority?
Talk to your partner about their priority list. While you should not expect to be first on the list of priorities, you should not be last. Find out where you rank in their life to fully understand how committed they are to you and your relationship.
Do You Love Me?
This simple question may seem pointless, and may not seem serious. This question can actually have a strong purpose. When you ask your partner if they love you, you are reaffirming their feelings. Sometimes, it is simply good to be verbally reassured that they love you and care about you.
Are You Willing to Work for Our Relationship?
Relationships are not easy to maintain. They require work and patience to be successful. You need to talk to your partner about your relationship to understand if they are willing to do the work necessary to maintain a good and healthy relationship.
It is important to space these questions out; do not ask them all at once. While you want to have serious talks, you do not want to bombard your partner with serious questions. IT is also important to keep an understanding tone while talking about these questions. An accusatory tone can ruin your relationship.
You should be asking these questions to understand your partner. You need to think about serious questions to ask your partner to ensure that you are not surprised by something later on in your relationship. Remember, the way you start is the way that you will continue in your relationship; until new positive change comes about.
Tuesday, March 12, 2013
4 Ways to Use Cute Quotes for your Boyfriend
4 Ways to Use Cute Quotes for your Boyfriend
If you are trying to think of interesting ways to make your boyfriend happy, consider the use of cute quotes. Cute quotes can be placed anywhere and can be used in nearly every situation. These quotes can be a great way to convey feelings and emotions. They can also be a great way to make your normal relationship talks more interesting, and more romantic.
Here are 4 ways to use cute quotes for your boyfriend.
Cards
A simple gift card can be the perfect way to use a cute quote. Find some of the best quotes that you can find and write them in the card. These quotes make the card more personalized, and can easily convey your thoughts and emotions.
You can also find cards that already have cute quotes on them. These cards are less personal, but will still be able to explain your feelings and emotions.
Scrapbooks
Scrapbooks are a simple and easy way to work cute quotes in to a gift. You can easily make a scrapbook for your boyfriend that features these quotes. Simple find quotes that are appropriate for your relationship, and for the pages of the scrapbook that you plan on making. The cute quotes take on a more serious and deeper meaning when they are paired with pictures from some of your favorite memories together.
Cute Notes
If you want to be somewhat spontaneous, grab some note cards or some post-it notes. Gather all of your favorite cute quotes, and write them on these notes. Then, place these notes in random places for your boyfriend to find. Hide them in places in his apartment or home when he is in a different room. These surprise quotes will take your boyfriend off guard, making them more interesting, more thoughtful, and more enjoyable.
Emails
A simple way to brighten up your boyfriend's day is to send them cute quotes through emails. You can send them one single email with multiple quotes, or you can send them one email a day with a different quote per day. This will help your boyfriend to think of you every day, but will also help to make each and every day a little more enjoyable. While it may take some effort to keep up with the cute quote emails over time, it will be worth it in the end.
Many people fail to realize that a simple hand-made card can be one of the best gifts that a boyfriend or girlfriend can receive. Personalized scrapbooks, notes, and emails can all make your boyfriend's or girlfriend's day. Take the time to find some of the best cute quotes for your boyfriend or girlfriend. When you find the right quote, and find the right way to deliver that quote, you will have found a strong way to connect with your significant other.
Getting Beyond He Said-She Said
Getting Beyond He Said-She Said
The differences between male and female gender include differences in thought process, sensitivity, memory, and communication. A successful relationship is one that recognizes the difference between men and women and is able to get beyond the he said/she said scenarios. Men and women have a different thought process when it comes to solving problems.
While both sexes are capable of solving problems equally well the thought process involved in coming to a resolution varies between them. For men a problem is an opportunity for them to demonstrate their problem solving skills in a quick and efficient manner. Men see having the problem solved as the ultimate goal and they believe that the best solution is the one that is quickest and most efficient.
Women on the other hand see a problem as an opportunity to work together and reach a resolution. Women relish the chance to communicate about the problem and the act of working together to solve the problem is more important than actually solving the problem. Women may feel closer to their partner, even if the problem still exists, if she feels that the resolution process drew them closer together. Understanding that women and men view the problem solving process differently will help a relationship to prosper.
Sensitivity is another area where ladies and gentlemen differ. Women have a heightened sense of sensitivity relative to men. This heightened sensitivity results in women being more prone to act on their emotions rather than on rational thought. A woman's sensitivity allows her to understand her own feelings as well as those of others better so her reactions tend to take feelings into consideration above logic.
However, men do not have the same level of sensitivity and therefore are more likely to make their decisions based solely on logic and not take feelings and emotions into consideration. This disparity can result in problems during a relationship because the woman assumes that the man intentionally tried to hurt their feelings if they make a decision that has this effect while the man may grow frustrated if he believes the woman made an irrational decision. Realizing that this difference exists will help a couple to get beyond he said/she said.
Men and Women also differ in terms of memory. Men have a memory that is stronger in situations where they can recall the details of an event by making an association with something concrete such as a location or item. For example men are more apt to remember an event that took place in a location that they are able to visualize well.
Women on the other hand have a memory that is stronger when they are able to associate the emotions felt with that memory to other memories where they had similar emotions. This type of memory is especially problematic because when a women becomes angry with her partner, she is often able to recall other situations where he has angered her. Unless the difference in memory is recognized it can become a source of frustration in a relationship when the man and woman don't understand why their partner doesn't remember something that is so vivid to them.
Men and Women also often have different communication styles which can complicate a relationship. Men tend to be more introspective about their problems and choose to deal with them internally and without discussing them with their partner. When they do decide to discuss a problem it's usually after much thought and careful consideration. Women on the other hand enjoy conversing about their problems with their partner and believe that doing so helps them to understand their problem better and come to a solution more easily. Women often use communication as a method for reaching a conclusion. They view the discussion as a way to figure out a solution. The he said/she said aspects of communications must be understood to avoid frustration and disappointment in a relationship.
Men and women have different styles when it comes to problem solving, sensitivity, memory and communication in a relationship. Careful observance and understanding of these differences is necessary for a relationship to flourish. Understanding these he said/she said principals and being willing to get beyond them will help to minimize difficulties in a relationship; in regards to gender differences.
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