Too Many Break Ups

Too Many Break Ups 

While in the midst of a series of break ups, people see them as eternal and feel as though nothing will ever change. The sensation may cause one to question if they have made the right decision. 

An important thing to remember is patterns shift without warning. One might begin questioning if they have gone through too many break ups following their most recent one. 

This sensation will be heightened if several have occurred within a short period of time. Spotting warning signs of a concerning trend may signify a deeper issue. Identifying them becomes critical before making any changes.

Addicted to the New

Some people crave new relationships and will end a relationship to experience something new. Those pursuing novelty may not even realize the pattern in their behavior. Let's look at some reasons the new might appeal to a person.

* Fresh Stories: After hearing repeated tales from the same person, the seeker will get to hear things they never have. A new teller might even spice up similar stories which have grown stale.

* Loss of Interest: Those entranced by originality may tune out of the relationship when things grow familiar. With this lack, they seek something to spice things up.

* Opportunity for Reinvention: Sometimes they also might wish to change their own narrative. As with their partner, telling one's history grows tedious for themselves as well. They can embellish new things when they retell it to someone different.

Lacking Growth

Someone who chronically bails from the couple could believe they have reached the zenith of the relationship. Like with the quest for the new, they feel the next person possesses the correct key to unlock all their potential. 

A sad truth is the individual responsible for their stagnation is often not the other person.

 Rarely does the person ending things repeatedly have the courage to address the deeper truth. Connected to this viewpoint is how the person uses their romantic partners for their own end. Rather than embracing who they want to become and pursing the goal, they look for another person to fill the hole within themselves.

Afraid of What's Next

Being too scared to move deeper into a committed relationship is a common problem for those who chronically terminate relationships. Most of the greatest concerns facing the couple prove more imagined than real. Commitment allows for deeper growth. Love becomes richer when couples display vulnerability with one another. One of the sad truths is such a level can only be achieved by those who remain together and unafraid of what the future holds for them.

One of the most important things to remember is too many break ups does not denote a number. A person can have a single relationship end causing them to surrender their hope of finding someone they love and who loves them.

 Also, the only time the number is too many is after finding the right person. Be aware of the reasons for each break up, do not fall into an unhealthy pattern and trust in the possibility of love.

Steps to Potent Passion

Steps to Potent Passion  

Couples seek ways to fire up their lives. Often the word passion denotes a focus on the bedroom. Passion means more than strictly a physical connection. 

Passion builds an existing connection. Couples without connection rarely create the heat necessary to spark deep and lasting passion. Taking the small steps permit couples to move toward greater passion and find the right spot to light the fire they need.

Changes Are Key

Routine allows couples to possess a sense of continuity in their relationship. A fine line exists between comfort and staleness. Couples who experience the same things repeatedly have tendency fall closer to complacency. They sense everything is fine and will always be that way.

This makes throwing a little variety critical to ignite passion. Step one is making a change, any change, and see where things go. Some ways to shake things up can include planning an event with a small amount of direct interaction like a concert. Travel provides an easy way to change things up by drastically altering the surroundings, entertainment options and local cuisine making passion a pleasurable byproduct.

Take More Risks

Couples looking to fire things up must do more than just change things. Making an effort by expanding their horizons offers an opening for passion to enter. Risks come in several stripes. What may sound daring to one partner may be dipping a toe in the pool for another. 

Talking about what to do, how risky to be and getting comfortable with the expectations assures both people will not be uncomfortable when the time comes to jump in the water. 

One should never force their partner into things they do not want to do because nothing stifles passion like an unwilling participant. Let's look at some guidelines for stretching the boundaries.

* Make It New for Both of You: No one should be an expert because it allow growth and comfort for both of you.
* Be Open: Saying yes, even with the possibility of appearing foolish, will generate a thrill leading to enriching passion.
* Laugh About the Mistakes: Doing something risky means things might not go perfectly and laughing about the foibles free everyone up to do it again.

Contact Is Critical

Passion grows best in an environment where every level of relational contact is present. Couples who communicate well, trust one another and connect find passion in almost everything they do. They relish the new things they experience while enjoying tasks other may find mundane.

Physical contact is more than merely sexual contact. Hand holding can occur in the grocery store or after an mud run where both people are filthy and tired. Simple touching can grow to more intimate contact. Stolen kisses linger for longer and longer making skin warm to match beating hearts.

More important than mere physical contact is a meeting of a couple's hearts. Hearts united and open will give each person the freedom they need to share the deepest longings, desires and truths. In the cauldron of deep love, passion blazes bright. Couples are able to maintain a passion like this because of the trust they have in each other.

Passion proves best when maintained and grown over time. Phases of life exist where passion flees. Often outside circumstances rob couples of their passion. 

One of the saddest days occur when a couple surrenders their passion thinking it has been lost forever when all they need is a little time and care. Take the steps necessary and jealously guard the passion between you because it is priceless.

Keeping Partners Happy

Keeping Partners Happy 

Relationship happiness challenges every couple and grows only more so the longer couples remain together. It goes beyond flowers at Valentine's Day and a sweet card on the anniversary. Knowing one's partner is critical followed closely by avoiding the temptation of self interest. Let's see some key missteps and wins in keeping partners happy.

Self Happiness Temptation

The person's tastes and preferences one knows the best is their own. When making decisions in a relationship, they can have a hard time putting aside what they prefer in favor of their partner. What causes these choices to be wrong?

* They ask for a change the partner is not willing to make -- either because they do not want or are not ready to make.
* They seek to establish a level of commitment for one's own security in the relationship.
* They cast the individual in a light not fitting who they really are causing them to feel a deep discomfort.
* They call into question the reason for the relationship if they do not meet unspoken expectations.

Early on, these sorts of things can be talked out because couples are getting to know each other. The amount of information they do not have far outweighs what they possess. Trouble occurs when it continues to happen because then a partner begins feeling they are not being heard.

What Makes Them Happy

A few simple rules exist to discover what makes another person feel happy in a relationship. If they are simple, people think everyone gains access and follows through in every instance. Because of such an unfortunate misconception coupled with a person's natural desire to follow their own self interest, partners need to interrogate and investigate what they are doing.

Ask: Often simply asking a partner will give the clearest indication the aspects of relationships bringing them the most joy. Bear in mind, this might change because people often blind themselves to what they really want. People also need to feel safe enough to be able to give voice to their desires in a relationship.

Watch: People will do things pointing to just what makes them happy. Do they say they need time alone and then linger in the same room with questions? They could be asking for the contact or time. Maybe they produce something creative and need the nurturing safety of the relationship.

Hear: As with everything, we all long to be heard, sometimes even the words. A partner who lived in a tumultuous house growing up may struggle with expressing how deeply they care. By being exposed to their history, one can pick out bits of their story coming through in what they do and positively impact them when they are opening up.

Happiness Connection

There are two people in the relationship, so happiness is not based on a single side. Pursing only one person's bliss will create a lack of balance. Why would this be bad? It provides a place of hiding. By being shielded, couples may become close without any opportunity for deeper connection. This means communicating, exploring activities together and fostering inclusion. This should be reciprocated because happiness should be both people's goal.

Think of a relationship as a tree. Rarely, does anyone ask if a tree is happy. Fortunately, everyone knows when it is happy because it is healthy, strong and growing.

 A relationship where both partners flourish, feel heard and laugh together stretches its root deep into the ground and hold fast for years to come.

Mutual Respect: The Hidden Relationship Key

Mutual Respect: The Hidden Relationship Key 

When asking established couples what makes for a strong relationship, approximately 75% of them pointed to respect as a foundation component. 

Far too often people believe flashy things keep their relationship on track. A general lack of respect leads to several serious problems.

 Couples must understand the allure of other relational elements, the reasons respect proves so important and the support provided to areas for both people when respect exists.

Do Not Get Distracted

Lesser items with more sizzle than substance serve to pull couples off track. Distractions undermine far more of the relationship than the surface may indicate.

Physicality: An important component, especially early in the relationship, consumes more time and energy. Chasing raw attraction without supporting other areas may establish unhealthy responses giving couples little to share outside their personal drives.

Sweet Expressions: Empty compliments without ties back to items of substance fails to allow room for growth. While it might be nice to hear how warm someone feels by being around you, these platitudes, even truthful ones, will crumble under real conversations.

Being Right: In course of deeper discussions, a need to be right no matter the costs creates an adversarial relationship. It is not unusual for couples to challenge one another. Displaying a perceived intellectual superiority cultivates a distance where desire withers and dies.

The temptation is looking at these and other distractions as occurring mostly during the early stages of relationships. Personal interests, lack of communication and general disrespect never limits itself to new relationships. Couples must be on guard for things seeking to tear at their relationship.

Importance of Respect

The heart of respect beats in time with value the other person. When a person respects their partner, they want to understand where they are coming from, prevent themselves from only lashing out or belittling the other person and acting with an eye toward what type of response their voice and actions may cause.

 Far too often, the presence of of respect rarely gets noticed. It is more a matter of the absence of respect which rises to the surface because of the pain caused. Causing the pain should spur a decision to return to a foundation of respect.

Hidden Benefits of Respect

The qualities of respect by itself are often enough to encourage people to pursue it for its own end. However, respect supercharges or drains other parts of the relationship. Seeing the interplay between respect and these other areas increases a focus on respect.

* Gentleness: In light of mutual respect, people treat each other with greater tenderness on several areas.

* Openness: Couples allow for wider range of experiences by knowing they have and respecting their partner.

* Support: Both partners with mutual respect grow more supportive including situations where the threats come from outside the relationship.

* Communication: Not being afraid to say things incorrectly, broach uncomfortable topics or share deeper feelings stems from being in a respectful relationship.

Mutual respect always proves a critical element because it, like breathing, must be an underlying component for everything else. Challenges will arise and couples must trust the one they love believes and respects them.

 Love never flourishes in a place where someone is devalued. 

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Barack Obama Warns Americans “To Be Prepared For A Disaster”

TOPICS:FEMA Michael Snyder Obama Preparedness

JUNE 2, 2016

By Michael Snyder

When Barack Obama speaks to the public, it is very rare that he does so without a specific purpose in mind. So why is he urging Americans “to be prepared for a disaster” all of a sudden? On May 31, Obama took time out of his extremely busy schedule to deliver an address at the FEMA National Response Coordination Center in Washington. During his speech, he stressed that every American is responsible for preparing for disasters, and that includes “having an evacuation plan” and “having a fully stocked disaster supply kit.” These are basic steps that I have been encouraging people to do for years, but if they won’t listen to me, perhaps they will listen to the man currently residing in the White House. The following excerpt from Obama’s speech comes directly from the official White House website…  One of the things that we have learned over the course of the last seven and a half years is that government plays a vital role, but it is every citizen’s responsibility to be prepared for a disaster. And that means taking proactive steps, like having an evacuation plan, having a fully stocked disaster supply kit. If your local authorities ask you to evacuate, you have to do it. Don’t wait.  

In fact, a major hurricane has not made landfall in the United States for 127 straight months.

But without a doubt, we all need to be preparing for disaster. Hurricanes can create a short-term emergency that can last for a few days, but there are other threats that could create a major emergency that could potentially last for an extended period of time.

That list of potential threats includes a major volcanic eruption, a natural or engineered pandemic, a west coast earthquake, a New Madrid earthquake, a tsunami on either the east or west coasts, a meteor impact, Islamic terror, war, an EMP burst that takes down the power grid, cyber warfare, economic collapse, and civil unrest resulting in the   imposition of martial law.

Of course the items that I just mentioned are not mutually exclusive. In fact, in different scenarios we could actually see multiple events happen in rapid succession.

It is interesting to note that during his speech Barack Obama also noted that the American people seem to have become very complacent about getting prepared…

And what we’ve been seeing is some public complacency slipping in; a large portion of people not having preparedness kits, not having evacuation plans.

This is exactly what I have been noticing as well. There appears to be a tremendous amount of apathy out there, and relatively few people really seem to feel much urgency  to get prepared these days.

My contacts in the emergency preparedness industry have been telling me that sales are way down right now. There was a big peak last fall, but since then it is like interest in prepping has just fallen off the map.  

Ultimately, those companies are going to be okay because interest will pick back up shortly as global events begin to spiral completely out of control. However, of much greater concern is the fact that people have not been using this period of relative calm constructively.

Just like we have seen in Venezuela, time to prepare eventually runs out. And someday there will be millions of parents that are absolutely horrified when their children come to them crying out for food and they don’t have anything to give to them because they didn’t heed the warnings and they didn’t get prepared.

When that day arrives, many of those families may be forced to turn to whatever help the government is offering at the time.  One more thing that I found particularly noteworthy about Obama’s speech was that he said that there is now “a FEMA app” that can direct you to the nearest “FEMA shelter” in the event of a major emergency.

If you need information about how to put together an evacuation plan, how to put together a disaster preparedness kit, as Craig said, we’ve got an app for everything now.

We have a FEMA app in English and in Spanish to help you prepare your family for a disaster. You can update the National Weather Service alerts. You can get safety tips for more than 20 kinds of hazards. It provides you directions to nearby shelters.

Economic Warning Update:

I'm expecting and preparing for a Major Global Economic pull back starting on the evening of Oct. 2nd 2016 ( During that time the asian markets would have just opened. Thus the pull back starting there.)

On Monday Oct. 3rd 2016, when our markets open at 915am. The downward pressure will accelerate . It could be Massive or Worst. There are at least seven bubbles waiting to burst.

Remember, all of this is on a Global scale. Plus, there may be a small economic rattle starting in September.

If you haven't done so please watch this video.

( Charles Hayek- He Predicted the Past 3 Recessions. Here’s why You should Listen to him...
”For More Information "Watch" "Surviving the Final Bubble" Video: http://bit.ly/1WkNtpI )

Please Share.

Peace and Blessings to you and your family. May the LORD continue to bless and protect us. Amen.

Paul

Lord Rothschild - monetary experiment greatest in history!

Speaking to a Partner's Love Language

Speaking to a Partner's Love Language 

Gary Chapman, in his best selling book, outlined the concept of love languages. He broke them down in general categories and posited everyone has a particular language to which they respond. Most people give in a language they desire. Unfortunately, being paired with someone possessing an identical love language is quite rare. More often than not, a partner needs something requiring sacrifice and practice to speak to them in a ways they truly value. This makes understanding all the love languages critical for open communication and deepen intimacy.

Gifts

In some ways, this seems like the simplest love language because one buys something for their partner and it is done. Those who respond to this language do not point to the gift itself. The gift represents everything else involved. Things like time, attention and effort all meld to elevate the item from a "gift" to a representation of the the other's heart. In a gift card obsessed culture where no one wants to get the "wrong" thing, a thoughtful, specific item speaking directly to a partner's interests goes a long way to bring two people closer together.

Time

For this group, the presence of the one they care about can be enough. Think of a cold day when the wind blows and sleet hits the windows. Sitting next to a fire and having one's partner there warms more than the body. It warms the heart. Too often, a person can get too focused on doing things or providing an experience. Those with the love language of time only want to know they matter enough to be with.

Words

Words trip people up as society moves ever farther from a place where words hold sway. Take all sorts of social media with their emojis or pictures substituted for a well timed word. People who need words do not seek eloquence. They only want to hear the truth about themselves from their partner's heart. It can take the form of a poem, a song or a simple whispered "I love you" followed by a pet name. Because of this, they feel seen and heard by the one they love. 

Service

This sounds really big as a love language complete with grand gestures or arduous tasks. The simplest way to understand this is think of the worst household chore. It varies, but everyone has one. Now, imagine arriving home with the task completed unexpectedly. Service is doing things for the partner they may always have to do or put off doing. This lightens their burden. But deeper than merely doing a chore for them, the partner sees how the rest of their work is acknowledged and seen.

Touch

Before this turns to more adult topics, because almost no one can resist those touches, this love language centers on more G and PG touching. Holding hands, snuggling on the couch and a good old fashioned hug passes affection to those with this love language. One of the biggest challenges for people with this love language occurs when the relationship has been well established and most of the early playfulness and touching vanishes. They need skin to skin contact to know their partner is close and cares.

Almost everyone has a dominant and secondary love language where they receive the majority of the reinforcement of connection. However, everyone should receive a variety of love from all these categories because it touches them in a variety of ways at different times. Words of love can impact those longing for touch as much as a tight hug. The important thing is to take the time, get to know what a partner needs and then strive to fill them with as much love as possible.

Three Layers of Intimacy 

Intimacy is defined as a close, familiar, affectionate and loving relationship with another person. Even on its surface, the word is charged while cutting across multiple aspects of relationships. Culture squashes the word into a tiny box making it palatable for everyone and not challenging anyone. For couples to endure, their understanding of intimacy must extend beyond the traditional or simple delving into deeper areas of closeness, familiarity, love and affection.

Physical

In a culture obsessed with the physical, the simplest forms of intimacy fall into the purview of the body. Some of the greatest negotiations in a relationship can center around physical intimacy. From the first kiss to more personal acts, this is a dance played out starting with the first flirtations.

 Nervous teenagers are not the only ones to wonder if the first date will end in locking lips. Even the ones who know the final page of the date grow nervous when walked to the front door at the end of the evening because of intimacy of the act of kissing another person.

On a baseline level, physical intimacy cannot be pushed aside as a strictly biological hurdle to be bypassed. The excruciating sweetness of being near another person makes all the nerves and risk worth it. Even as it is important, physical intimacy is not the pinnacle of connection. Physical closeness does whisper delicious promises of deep depths than anyone else dares to dream of.


Communication

Intimacy in the midst of conversation reveals a great deal about the person. It can disclose dreams, hopes and the most fervent wants. Words, though sometimes crude tools, possess the gift to grant greater insight into the person in the relationships than any physical act alone could ever hope to ensnare.

This intimacy sits firmly between physical intimacy and deeper waters because some of the first things shared can be the ways in which physical pleasure can be granted and received. 

It takes courage to stop a partner and request they linger on a neglected patch of flesh. The receiver gains greater insight into their partner and the sharer feels appreciated and closer to the other person. This communication is never limited to the corporeal, immediate or temporary. It can be a first and important step.  

Emotional

The heart represents one of the deepest levels of intimacy for a couple. The heart holds so much in the way of seeing a person for who they are with the pains they have suffered, the hopes they strive for and the ways in which they seek to protect themselves. Imagine if a partner possess access to all of these things. How close would a couple be? How well would they know one another? How much love could they experience and express?

A couple without higher forms of intimacy may find this level almost impossible to reach without an intermediary. They may not feel safe around the other person. They might not feel as though their needs matter. This is why physical connection leads to speaking about such closeness and ends up revealing the deeper parts of themselves.

 While challenging, the sweetness of knowing someone on this level can only be matched by someone being know in a similar manner creating the best infinite positive feedback loop.

Couples must step beyond what is easy and into what is deeply hard. Only in the center of a relationship filled with deep intimacy can all the benefits of lasting, passion love blossom. Take the chance to be as intimate with someone safe and taste the ambrosia of true love.

Three Inoculations Against a Break Up

Three Inoculations Against a Break Up

No relationship rolls along without any bumps in the road. Once a crisis presents itself, couples discover pulling the relationship out of a downward spiral proves supremely difficult. Partners can take simple steps to smooth things out lowing the risk of an explosive end to the relationship. Though the steps sound easy, couples need to invest time and energy if they seek a perpetual trajectory. Let's see what they need to pursue.

Communication

The cornerstone of every relationship, personal or profession, rests on being able to communicate. When approaching any problem, couples find most of the issues tie back to how they communicate. A simple process exists to get couples on the same page while strengthen the relationship as a whole. Breaking them into pieces will demonstrate their importance and how they help couples moving forward.

Listening: Individuals always think they are excellent listeners. Unfortunately, active listening requires more than not talking. To listen, the couple will need to maintain eye contact, confirm the message being received and ask key questions. It is also important not to interrupt the person speaking too frequently.

Sharing: The other side of communication means sharing things as well. A less forceful person might hold things close rather than offering thoughts, feelings and dreams to their partner. A lack of emotional honesty and parting of the veil makes both people feel isolated.

Communication is a give and take. Both people need to feel seen and heard. Those who do not feel that connection will seek it elsewhere.

Apologize Sincerely:

Behind communications, couples who last are able to apologize to one another. This is more than a quick "I'm sorry" to move things along. The party who has been hurt needs to share they have been harmed and how it makes them feel. Once aware of the offense, the other person should communicate their understanding of the situation, their pain over having hurt the other person and how they intend to address this in the future. 

  Apologies can be one of the most challenging things a couple can face, even those who have been together for a long time. Those capable of mastering sincere apologies last far longer than those who hold onto resentment and pain letting it fester and seethe. Also, an honest, heartfelt expression trumps a perfect execution every time.

Doing Stuff Together:

This step, similar to the first two, sound surprisingly simple and obvious. Unfortunately, couples with longer relationships point to a lack of mutual interests, adventures and surprises. Activities done together bond couples giving them a shared language. They can recall a time they went somewhere, played a game or even did something they never thought they would do. Here are some things to consider when planning an activity.

* Small Works: Simple things can carry as big an impact as the largest all day adventure.
* Get Out of Town: Even a day trip to a national park can break a routine and put a couple on a path to discovery.
* Indoor Playtime: Doing a puzzle, having a picnic on the floor or playing a childhood board game adds a sense of play and gets everyone off their electronic devices for a little while.

All of these items place the couples in front of one another. When couples share space, they will end up sharing other things too. They meld together in a healthy way where they can communicate deeply, ask for honest forgiveness and develop a unified history. All they will need to invest is time and effort.