Three Layers of Intimacy 

Intimacy is defined as a close, familiar, affectionate and loving relationship with another person. Even on its surface, the word is charged while cutting across multiple aspects of relationships. Culture squashes the word into a tiny box making it palatable for everyone and not challenging anyone. For couples to endure, their understanding of intimacy must extend beyond the traditional or simple delving into deeper areas of closeness, familiarity, love and affection.

Physical

In a culture obsessed with the physical, the simplest forms of intimacy fall into the purview of the body. Some of the greatest negotiations in a relationship can center around physical intimacy. From the first kiss to more personal acts, this is a dance played out starting with the first flirtations.

 Nervous teenagers are not the only ones to wonder if the first date will end in locking lips. Even the ones who know the final page of the date grow nervous when walked to the front door at the end of the evening because of intimacy of the act of kissing another person.

On a baseline level, physical intimacy cannot be pushed aside as a strictly biological hurdle to be bypassed. The excruciating sweetness of being near another person makes all the nerves and risk worth it. Even as it is important, physical intimacy is not the pinnacle of connection. Physical closeness does whisper delicious promises of deep depths than anyone else dares to dream of.


Communication

Intimacy in the midst of conversation reveals a great deal about the person. It can disclose dreams, hopes and the most fervent wants. Words, though sometimes crude tools, possess the gift to grant greater insight into the person in the relationships than any physical act alone could ever hope to ensnare.

This intimacy sits firmly between physical intimacy and deeper waters because some of the first things shared can be the ways in which physical pleasure can be granted and received. 

It takes courage to stop a partner and request they linger on a neglected patch of flesh. The receiver gains greater insight into their partner and the sharer feels appreciated and closer to the other person. This communication is never limited to the corporeal, immediate or temporary. It can be a first and important step.  

Emotional

The heart represents one of the deepest levels of intimacy for a couple. The heart holds so much in the way of seeing a person for who they are with the pains they have suffered, the hopes they strive for and the ways in which they seek to protect themselves. Imagine if a partner possess access to all of these things. How close would a couple be? How well would they know one another? How much love could they experience and express?

A couple without higher forms of intimacy may find this level almost impossible to reach without an intermediary. They may not feel safe around the other person. They might not feel as though their needs matter. This is why physical connection leads to speaking about such closeness and ends up revealing the deeper parts of themselves.

 While challenging, the sweetness of knowing someone on this level can only be matched by someone being know in a similar manner creating the best infinite positive feedback loop.

Couples must step beyond what is easy and into what is deeply hard. Only in the center of a relationship filled with deep intimacy can all the benefits of lasting, passion love blossom. Take the chance to be as intimate with someone safe and taste the ambrosia of true love.

Advice On Sex To Repair Your Relationship

                                                                  
                                                                   
                                                                   
                                     
  
Advice On Sex To Repair Your Relationship



Being in a bad relationship is a tough thing to do.  Nothing is worse than being married and lonely at the same time.  If you think the best way to save your relationship is to 'spice up your sex life' you may want to think again.  Here is some advice on sex to repair your relationship.

First of all don't buy into the old cliche that if you have great sex your partner will be satisfied and not leave.  Unless your partner is an adolescent, or just acts like one, sex alone won't be enough to keep your relationship strong.  A good adult relationship is made up of many components and until you can get it clicking on at least several levels, not just sexual, you will struggle and most likely won't be happy in the relationship.

A word of caution though, no one is perfect and no relationship is perfect.  You will have times when you and your partner are not on the same page, and that's OK.  It's more about balance, in your relationship as a whole you should be on the same page more often than not. If it's balanced the other way, where you are at odds more often than you are in sync you should seriously consider reevaluating the relationship because the two of you just aren't a good fit, and that's unlikely to change.

So before you decide that hotter sex is the key to making your relationship what you really want it to be, consider some of these points:

1. How was your relationship in the beginning?  Did you have a lot of hobbies that you shared together?  What did you do, besides sex, when you spent time together?  If you don't do those things together anymore, why not?   If you analyze these changes in your relationship you will be a lot closer to figuring out what you need to work on to make your relationship strong again.

2. Have you asked your partner what they think is going on with your relationship?  After all you're both part of the situation, and the problem.  Why not share with each other what you are feeling, instead of complaining to your girlfriends, or buddies, why not ask your partner?  You two know whats really going on and they don't.

Make sure that when you ask your partner what they're thinking you give them the opportunity to tell you how they feel in a 'safe' environment.  What I mean by that is don't get mad and  yell at them if they say something you don't want to hear.  If you do then you are sending them a signal that they can't open up to you or it will get ugly, so they won't turn to you and share their feelings. That is the beginning of the end for many relationships.

Once they've told you how they feel, it's your turn.  And the same rules apply. You have the right to express your feelings without being persecuted by your partner.

If you and your partner have reached a rough patch in your relationship it can be tempting to think that if you can reignite a fire in bed you'll be able to save your relationship, unfortunately that's simply not the case.  Use the advice on sex to repair your relationship tips I've given you above to start to rebuild your relationship in a healthy way. But don't leave out sex and romance, just don't make it your only instrument in reigniting the love and passion in your relationship.

How To Save Marriage From Disaster

How To Save Marriage From Disaster


How to save marriage from failing after a disastrous and catastrophic event has taken place may seem like a hard thing to do, but it can be done. There are many times when something horrible has happened in the life of a couple that the stress ends up being too much to bear. These are times it is important to know how to save marriage.

The need to know how to save marriage can come as a result of something in the marriage or relationship that is falling apart as the two struggle to deal with what has happened. Many times it happens after the death of a loved one or especially a child. Sometimes it will happen after a wreck. Maybe it was because of some natural disaster or an act of hatred by some unknown entity. It could be because of illness to one of you or anything else that happened that caused your world to fall apart.

There are some very important things that are how to save marriage from ending you need to know. You need to understand that people act and react differently to events. The most obvious is the differences between how men and women typically deal with things. Some people repress feelings while others are more outward and more obvious in their grieving. Understanding this and accepting it will help go a long way in knowing how to save marriage. Don't expect your loved one to react the same way that you do.

Another thing that you need to know is that grief many times rings out the worse in people and negative traits are often exaggerated. Patience is needed in understanding why some very negative changes take place in their personalities. You have to be able to see those changes taking place in yourself. Don't excuse the behavior and don't let harmful behaviors ruin things, but more understand what is happening is needed.

In both of the above marriage counseling is needed. Marriage counselors will usually be very adept at helping couples struggling through these times. There are places and people you can go to that will help you and the one you love get through this.

Here are some suggestions for other things that will help you get through this time:

~ Commit to each other that you are going to get through this together. Be a team fully supporting each other and understanding each other. When one is particularly weak at one point, be there friend for them and help shoulder the load. Ask that the same be done for you.

~ Grow your support team. Find close friends and family that will help you through this. There is no reason that the two of you should go through this alone. Find a network or a group of people who have gone through similar things. There is strength in numbers.

~ Find a reason to laugh again. Watch a silly sitcom on TV or some stupid funny movie. Watch one of those funny home movie shows for some good laughs. Spend time with fun loving people who you have a good time with. Laughing will make you feel better and gives you a break from the weight you carry.

When you have suffered greatly, it doesn't mean that the marriage has to come to an end. It can be made stronger if you are serious about finding how to save marriage.

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Broken Trust How To Stop A Divorce

Broken Trust How To Stop A Divorce

There are many who want to know how to stop a divorce and there are many answers. Not all of them may apply. People get divorced for many reasons. One of the most common has to do with broken trust.

If the reason that you are in the situation with your spouse is because you have been unfaithful there are things that you should and shouldn't do to help. If there is something that you did that is the problem, don't tell them that you can change or try to talk them into believing it, make the change. If you seriously want to know how to stop a divorce start with accepting responsibility.

Actions speak louder than words. If it is something that is a matter of trust that you have hurt, don't do it again. In fact don't do anything that will give your spouse any reason to question your faithfulness. If you want them to love you and trust you, you have to prove that you are worthy of trust again. It will take time and hopefully you have not burned them so much that they will never trust you. If you have broken trust, the truth is you don't deserve to be trusted.

It is the efforts to be faithful that will assure them that you are changing. Don't deny that you have betrayed their trust and don't try to justify it. Don't get mad because they don't trust you and don't argue about it. If you messed up, own up and take responsibility.

There may be situations where the one you love has been guilty of breaking trust and has been guilty of infidelity. Think of how you would want them to give you another chance. If you feel that you would be it very well may be that they deserve one as well. Put yourself in their shoes and treat them the way you would want to be treated. Try to understand why this happened. It very well may be that it can be resolved. Many times, however, it can not be.

Ask how to stop a divorce by going to friends who have been in your shoes and been through a divorce or from other sources where they have been trained in how to deal with these situations. If your relationship is important at all, it is well worth trying to find help before breaking up is the only option. Try to find the best relationship advice you can.

Be ready for depression to come because of what the two of you are going through. It isn't easy to deal with this and you may need some kind of therapy to help you cope and understand what is happening. Love relationships can be great but they can also bring a great deal of stress when there is broken trust involved. If you want to know how to stop a divorce, seek as much help as possible. You don't have to do it alone.

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Catch your spouse doing something "right"

Catch your spouse doing something "right"

Staying Happily Married:

 Being happily married and staying happily married is not such a hard jigsaw puzzle to put together. It just needs tender loving care and some extra gestures of concern to always keep the fire within the marriage ablaze. Both spouses must always exert extra effort to keep the marriage fresh and interactive. Couples may start the journey to a strong and satisfying married life by avoiding the common pitfalls that haunt marital relationships.

 Disagreements and arguments will happen. It is normal in any relationship. Two individuals, no matter how similar or compatible, will at some point clash and get into an argument - be it petty or something more serious.Leaving the issue unresolved or the concerned addressed allows the issues pile up over time and subsequently result in graver situations that are more difficult to resolve or address later on.

 This scenario is avoidable had the couples been open to the idea that they can get through any problems if they knew the marriage pitfalls and troubles that they should have looked out for. Couples, either newly married or married to each other for a long time,should understand that they need to communicate. It may sound surprising but recent studies show that communication issues actually top the list of the most important things that couples hope they had focused on before jumping into marriage.

Talk. It is unsafe to assume that a partner knows the others thoughts and needs and vice versa. Ask, and do not assume. Then pay close attention and listen to what is being said. Don't just hear. Acknowledge that what has been said is clearly understood.

Take some time to send your partner a heartfelt thank you. Write a card or send flowers out of the blue to let your partner know that you appreciate him or her. An unexpected phone call would also be a nice gesture. If you are on the receiving end, reciprocate the initiative with the same sincere appreciation.

 It feels good to know that what you have done is acknowledged. Also, ‘making your partners day’ will give you the same euphoric feeling :-)

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Avoiding A Love Break Up

Avoiding A Love Break Up

If you've ever had your love break up you know how painful it is.  And if you thought back after the relationship ended, you probably saw all the signs that you didn't recognize before. If you'll remember those signs and keep them in mind, they can help you prevent a break up in the future.  And they can also help you get back together after a split.

One sure sign of impending love break up is the lack of physical contact. This doesn't just mean sex. If your partner suddenly stops having an interest in sex, that's a good sign that a break up is coming. But the normal flow and rhythm of a relationship has times when there's lots of sex and times when there's not much. This is natural.

A love break up is probably on the horizon though, if your partner stops holding your hand for no apparent reason. Or he or she stops putting an arm over your shoulder at the movies or in public when he or she always did it before. Any sudden changes like not touching you much outside the bedroom when your partner was always very affectionate before could signal problems.

If it goes beyond not touching to the person actually becoming uncomfortable at your touch, then you definitely need to have a conversation with your partner about what's going on. Don't just assume that because your partner flinched away from your touch that there's about to be a love break up, though.  Many things can cause a person to not want to be touched at any given moment. 

A person might have been thinking of something else and been surprised or startled by the touch. He or she might think that your touch signals that it's time to have sex, if you're not very affectionate except when you want to be intimate. And maybe your partner isn't in the mood for sex now and chose to show you that by moving away from your touch. That doesn't mean you're headed for a love break up.

Your partner might simply not feel good. Every change in a person's behavior doesn't signal an impending love break up or even anything wrong with the relationship. You have to watch them closely for a while to determine if some behavior is an occasional thing, something brought on only during certain times, or if it's a permanent part of the persons make up.

Catching your partner in lies, could be a sign of problems, too.  Where there's one tiny lie, larger and more damaging lies can grow. Don't become convinced it's a love break up right away though. People lie about many things that aren't bad, like surprise parties and reunions.

 Your partner might be trying to keep a harmless and fun secret like that, instead of scheming about a love break up. Bottom line talk to your partner and ask He or She, what can you do to improve the level of love in your relationship.

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Stop Divorce and Save Your Relationship

Stop Divorce and Save Your Relationship

If you want to stop divorce, you have to convince the person who wants to divorce you to give the relationship another try.  This isn't always possible, but it's absolutely necessary if you have a chance of stopping a divorce.  A divorce can be stopped at virtually any stage before it's filed or just before it needs the final paperwork.

 The earlier you stop a divorce, the more likely it is that the divorce won't be restarted, at least not anytime soon.

So to stop a divorce, you must convince the person to give the relationship another chance. If you have been begging the other person to give you another try or pleading for them to get back together with you, stop now. This might seem counterproductive, as if now that the person has less resistance it will make it easier for them to divorce you.

 But your pleading probably wasn't doing anything but convincing them that divorce is a good idea anyway. Who wants to be around someone who is behaving that way?

If you can start acting more mature and behave in a more pleasant manner, it might surprise the other person and help stop divorce.  Explain that you really don't want the divorce and you want another chance in a calm way.  The person already knows this so you screaming or carrying on won't help your chances.

 Just make it clear that you're hurt and very sad, and you really want another chance.  You might be surprised how the other person reacts when you change your behavior.

You can also show a mature side of yourself that the other person might not have seen over the last several weeks and suggest marital or couples counseling to stop divorce. Counseling has worked for million of couples and your relationship could benefit from it, too.

 If you can get the other person to agree to couples counseling, then you have precious time before they file for or attempt to finalize a divorce to convince them to give you and the relationship another chance.

During counseling you'll have the opportunity to show the person why they fell in love with you. You can remind them why you're together in the first place. And if you can show honest effort in wanting to deal with the problems that come up during the counseling session and many probably will that might be enough to convince the other person not only to stop divorce temporarily, but permanently.

When you succeed and stop divorce, you must remember that the person was about to divorce you and it would be easy enough for them to change his or her mind and file for divorce later.  Having already thought about divorce and maybe even having gone far enough as to file for divorce at one time makes the decision to file again easier.

 So be aware of the state of your relationship, and perhaps continue counseling. It's better to stop divorce and work to have a good relationship for the long term.

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How to Get an Ex Back

How to get an Ex back

Did you just experience a break up? Are you wondering how to go get an ex back? Almost nearly every adult as experienced some kind of a break up, and most just work on moving on rather than looking for a way to get an ex back.
But if you are over playing the victim and want to put some work in to get an ex back, then there are options for you. Everyone deals with breakup, but does break up simply mean that you cannot get back together with your ex?

The fact is, 90 percent of the time there is no reason why you cannot get an ex back after a break up, providing that you know what steps are necessary to win your ex back.
The first step in learning how to get an ex back is to determine what exactly happened that caused the break up.
Even though you cannot go back into the past, and you cannot change what happened, you can learn from the mistakes that were made and you can try to learn and grow from the experiences.

The break up may have occurred because of a single event, or it may have occurred from behaviors that your ex could not deal with anymore.

No matter what the reason was that led to the breakup, you need to get the specifics figured out so that you can deal with the situation if it should never come up again.

You can get an ex back if you know how, but if you want to make it work on a long term basis, you need to figure out what went wrong in the first place.
The next step in the process is to ensure that you are not coming off as a needy person. Everyone will feel like they cannot live without their ex, but there is no point in making this obvious.

Instead, you should stay strong, and let your ex see that you are doing just fine by yourself.
If you let everyone around you see your comfort and self confidence, then you will have a better chance of getting back together with your ex.
Trying to get back at your ex, or trying to make your ex jealous is not a good way to operate.

In fact, these are some of the worst things that you can possibly do, because it will show your ex that he or she should simply move on because you already have.

While you do want your ex to see that you're doing OK, you do not want it to inspire him or her to completely move on if your ideal scenario is to get back together.
Let your ex see how strong and self confident you are, and they will feel inspired to get back together with you:)

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