A blog from a Relationship Consultant. One that loves what he does and wants to share some of his learning experiences.
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Saturday, March 16, 2013
Serious Questions to Ask Your Partner
Serious Questions to Ask Your Partner
When you first get into a relationship, you are simply excited about your new love. You will often avoid many important relationship topics and conversations when you first fall in love with someone. With that being said, there are multiple questions and topics that should be covered by these who are in a more relationship. These are some of the serious questions to ask your partner as your relationship continues to get more serious.
What Do You Think about Children?
If you find that your relationship is getting more and more serious, you need to start thinking about your future goals. If you are dead-set on having a child, and your partner is dead-set on not having children, you may have an issue. While it may not be grounds to break up right away, it is something to keep in the back of your mind as you find your relationship to be more serious.
Is This Long Term?
You need to be upfront with your partner about your wants and needs. IF you are looking for a long-term relationship, you need to tell them this. They will then be able to tell you whether or not they are on the same page.
What Are Your Thoughts on Monogamy?
It is important to be on the same page as far as monogamy is concerned. You need to ask this relatively soon. Be clear and firm about your stance on the issue, and make sure that you clearly understand their thoughts on monogamy as well.
Am I a Priority?
Talk to your partner about their priority list. While you should not expect to be first on the list of priorities, you should not be last. Find out where you rank in their life to fully understand how committed they are to you and your relationship.
Do You Love Me?
This simple question may seem pointless, and may not seem serious. This question can actually have a strong purpose. When you ask your partner if they love you, you are reaffirming their feelings. Sometimes, it is simply good to be verbally reassured that they love you and care about you.
Are You Willing to Work for Our Relationship?
Relationships are not easy to maintain. They require work and patience to be successful. You need to talk to your partner about your relationship to understand if they are willing to do the work necessary to maintain a good and healthy relationship.
It is important to space these questions out; do not ask them all at once. While you want to have serious talks, you do not want to bombard your partner with serious questions. IT is also important to keep an understanding tone while talking about these questions. An accusatory tone can ruin your relationship.
You should be asking these questions to understand your partner. You need to think about serious questions to ask your partner to ensure that you are not surprised by something later on in your relationship. Remember, the way you start is the way that you will continue in your relationship; until new positive change comes about.
Tuesday, March 12, 2013
4 Ways to Use Cute Quotes for your Boyfriend
4 Ways to Use Cute Quotes for your Boyfriend
If you are trying to think of interesting ways to make your boyfriend happy, consider the use of cute quotes. Cute quotes can be placed anywhere and can be used in nearly every situation. These quotes can be a great way to convey feelings and emotions. They can also be a great way to make your normal relationship talks more interesting, and more romantic.
Here are 4 ways to use cute quotes for your boyfriend.
Cards
A simple gift card can be the perfect way to use a cute quote. Find some of the best quotes that you can find and write them in the card. These quotes make the card more personalized, and can easily convey your thoughts and emotions.
You can also find cards that already have cute quotes on them. These cards are less personal, but will still be able to explain your feelings and emotions.
Scrapbooks
Scrapbooks are a simple and easy way to work cute quotes in to a gift. You can easily make a scrapbook for your boyfriend that features these quotes. Simple find quotes that are appropriate for your relationship, and for the pages of the scrapbook that you plan on making. The cute quotes take on a more serious and deeper meaning when they are paired with pictures from some of your favorite memories together.
Cute Notes
If you want to be somewhat spontaneous, grab some note cards or some post-it notes. Gather all of your favorite cute quotes, and write them on these notes. Then, place these notes in random places for your boyfriend to find. Hide them in places in his apartment or home when he is in a different room. These surprise quotes will take your boyfriend off guard, making them more interesting, more thoughtful, and more enjoyable.
Emails
A simple way to brighten up your boyfriend's day is to send them cute quotes through emails. You can send them one single email with multiple quotes, or you can send them one email a day with a different quote per day. This will help your boyfriend to think of you every day, but will also help to make each and every day a little more enjoyable. While it may take some effort to keep up with the cute quote emails over time, it will be worth it in the end.
Many people fail to realize that a simple hand-made card can be one of the best gifts that a boyfriend or girlfriend can receive. Personalized scrapbooks, notes, and emails can all make your boyfriend's or girlfriend's day. Take the time to find some of the best cute quotes for your boyfriend or girlfriend. When you find the right quote, and find the right way to deliver that quote, you will have found a strong way to connect with your significant other.
Getting Beyond He Said-She Said
Getting Beyond He Said-She Said
The differences between male and female gender include differences in thought process, sensitivity, memory, and communication. A successful relationship is one that recognizes the difference between men and women and is able to get beyond the he said/she said scenarios. Men and women have a different thought process when it comes to solving problems.
While both sexes are capable of solving problems equally well the thought process involved in coming to a resolution varies between them. For men a problem is an opportunity for them to demonstrate their problem solving skills in a quick and efficient manner. Men see having the problem solved as the ultimate goal and they believe that the best solution is the one that is quickest and most efficient.
Women on the other hand see a problem as an opportunity to work together and reach a resolution. Women relish the chance to communicate about the problem and the act of working together to solve the problem is more important than actually solving the problem. Women may feel closer to their partner, even if the problem still exists, if she feels that the resolution process drew them closer together. Understanding that women and men view the problem solving process differently will help a relationship to prosper.
Sensitivity is another area where ladies and gentlemen differ. Women have a heightened sense of sensitivity relative to men. This heightened sensitivity results in women being more prone to act on their emotions rather than on rational thought. A woman's sensitivity allows her to understand her own feelings as well as those of others better so her reactions tend to take feelings into consideration above logic.
However, men do not have the same level of sensitivity and therefore are more likely to make their decisions based solely on logic and not take feelings and emotions into consideration. This disparity can result in problems during a relationship because the woman assumes that the man intentionally tried to hurt their feelings if they make a decision that has this effect while the man may grow frustrated if he believes the woman made an irrational decision. Realizing that this difference exists will help a couple to get beyond he said/she said.
Men and Women also differ in terms of memory. Men have a memory that is stronger in situations where they can recall the details of an event by making an association with something concrete such as a location or item. For example men are more apt to remember an event that took place in a location that they are able to visualize well.
Women on the other hand have a memory that is stronger when they are able to associate the emotions felt with that memory to other memories where they had similar emotions. This type of memory is especially problematic because when a women becomes angry with her partner, she is often able to recall other situations where he has angered her. Unless the difference in memory is recognized it can become a source of frustration in a relationship when the man and woman don't understand why their partner doesn't remember something that is so vivid to them.
Men and Women also often have different communication styles which can complicate a relationship. Men tend to be more introspective about their problems and choose to deal with them internally and without discussing them with their partner. When they do decide to discuss a problem it's usually after much thought and careful consideration. Women on the other hand enjoy conversing about their problems with their partner and believe that doing so helps them to understand their problem better and come to a solution more easily. Women often use communication as a method for reaching a conclusion. They view the discussion as a way to figure out a solution. The he said/she said aspects of communications must be understood to avoid frustration and disappointment in a relationship.
Men and women have different styles when it comes to problem solving, sensitivity, memory and communication in a relationship. Careful observance and understanding of these differences is necessary for a relationship to flourish. Understanding these he said/she said principals and being willing to get beyond them will help to minimize difficulties in a relationship; in regards to gender differences.
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Tuesday, February 26, 2013
I’m So Happy I Could Cry I Got My Boyfriend Back
I’m So Happy I Could Cry I Got My Boyfriend Back.
I have been sitting here at the kitchen table with my best girlfriend, Lisa, crying and laughing at the same time. Actually both of us are so darn giddy, it's hilarious. And when we start laughing really, really hard, I almost pee on myself. Oh Gawd! I've started giggling again. Hold on a second, I have to stop laughing and then I'll tell you all about it.
Now let me tell you why we are so giddy. About six months ago my boyfriend dumped me. As you can imagine, I was completely devastated.I thought I was having a heart attack; it hurt so bad. I was so messed up. All I did was cry hour after hour. I couldn’t think, much less try to go to work. You know what I’m saying right?
About 3 days into the worst event of my life, a thought hit me. It was almost like a white hot electrical shock from a huge lightning bolt coming out of the sky and hitting me. I really, really love this guy and I want to spend the rest of my life with him. And the first question that popped into my mind was, "How do I get him back?"
I had already tried to text and call him, but he just plain ignored me. Then I went over to his house and almost got on my knees begging him to take me back. Mike was very gentle, as he explained what was going on with him and then he asked me to leave. And that’s when I blew my top. I just plain lost it. But I did leave.
After getting home I called Lisa, bawling my eyes out again and she rushed over; to comfort me and give some much needed advice.
Lisa had gone through the same thing with her boyfriend within the last year, so she knew what she was talking about. As we talked she told me how she had done the same things I had and they didn’t work for her either. “O.K.! Then how did you get Greg back?” I asked.
“Listen,” she said. “Donna, the first thing you have to do is stop acting like a fool. You’re going to have to take your time and figure out what caused Mike to breakup with you. Once we have that figured out we can layout a battle plan to get him back.” And trust me that‘s precisely what we did.
Lisa went online to your blog and began to list the things she had used and I was going to have to do to win my ex back:
* Start looking my best, all the time not just part of the time
* Determine why Mike and I had fallen in love the first time
* Start doing the things that had attracted Mike to me originally
* Stop texting, stop calling, stop going to his house
To make a long story short I followed Your wise advice and last night Mike asked me to marry him. Oh Gawd! The ring is beautiful. Now you know why I’m so giddy I could cry.
But I have to tell you without Lisa and your advice I would have lost Mike forever. P.S. Thank you so much Dr. Pharms,PhD.
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Subject Line: My Computer is Faster than your Computer!
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It’s Your Brain – Just Smarter,,, Stronger,,, Faster,,, Forever!
ZOX Pro Training empowers you to deal with Life on your terms. Gain superior information FAST, and make stress-free decisions. Create better relationships and have a happier life, using the all-natural abilities you already possess - abilities you never knew you had. Find out more - Read More about ZOX Pro Training.
Saturday, February 23, 2013
5 Tips For When Your Ex Wants To Get Back Together
5 Tips For When Your Ex Wants To Get Back Together
Some people end their relationship with a clean break. Both parties agree that they should not be together. Others will simply end the relationship on their terms. While they are done with the relationship, the other person will still want to stay together. This relationship can be difficult, as the person who ended the relationship must deal with the ex who wanted to stay together. There will come a time when your ex wants to get back together. Instead of making an irrational decision, follow these 5 tips. These tips will help you to make the best decision.
Consider Your First Relationship
If your ex wants to get together again, you need to consider the relationship that you had. Why did you break up in the first place? You need to consider the end of your first relationship before you consider another one. If the issue is something that cannot be repaired, you should not even bother with a reconciliation attempt.
Consider Your Life Now
You need to make sure that you consider your life now when considering getting back together with an ex. You may be willing to give it a shot, but do you have the time? Are you in a place in your life where you can handle a full relationship? The answers to these questions will help you in your final decision making process.
Be Patient and Kind
It is important for you to be patient and kind to your ex. They are dealing with a lot of emotions. You want to make sure that you do not make these emotions stronger. Be patient with them and listen to what they have to say. This conversation may be useful to you, as it may help you to make up your mind.
Talk To your Friends
Talk to your friends about the situation. Talk to them about how your ex feels, how you feel, and all of the different factors that will affect your decision. It will be good for you to say these things out loud to someone, as it can be helpful to talk it through with someone.
Make the Decision On Your Own
In the end, you need to make sure that you are making the decision on your own. You should not make this decision based on your ex, or on your friends. Take yourself and your own feelings into consideration. This should be the basis for your final decision.
You need to make sure that you are looking out for yourself. While you should take the words of your ex and your friends into consideration, you need to make the decision on your own. Think about what is best for you when your ex wants to get back together. When you think about your best interests, you will always make the right decision.
Sunday, February 17, 2013
Proven Advice For Teens Dealing With Breakups
Proven Advice For Teens Dealing With Breakups
Teenagers and adults tend to handle things differently in certain situations, and dealing with breakups is absolutely no exception. Some of the greatest advice that can be offered to teenagers dealing with breakups can be found online, because there are teenagers all over the world that are learning the lessons of love the hard way, by losing the people they cared about to breakups.
If you are a teenager and you have been recently separated from your boyfriend or your girlfriend, then you are probably feeling heartbroken right now, which is simply expected no matter how old you are. Luckily, you have plenty of living ahead of you, and you will meet a surprising number of suitors in your life that are better suited for you. Everyone goes through love and loss, and while it is unpleasant to begin so young, you can and will move on from this moment of heartbreak.
Here is some basic advice for teens dealing with breakups and the associated heartbreak.
- Do not try to rekindle things with your ex right away. The best way to show your ex that you are worth getting back together with is to play it cool and let him or her think that you're doing just fine without them. Play it cool by acting like you're having fun and hanging out with people, and that you do not need your ex to enjoy yourself.
- The initial period of time that occurs after a breakup can be rough, and you might feel tempted to get back with your ex, but you need to let your emotions simmer first so as to come off as calm and cool rather than needy and desperate. If you act desperately, this will actually greatly diminish your ability to get things going with your ex again in the future.
- The best plan to follow is to stop constantly calling, texting and trying to see your ex. Move on, or at least facilitate the appearance that you are moving on. Play hard to get. Play it cool. Let your ex develop the needy and desperate feelings rather than exhibiting them yourself.
- Get out of the house and see other people. Spend time with friends, meet new people, and have fun. Let your ex see that you are having fun and getting along fine. Don't be afraid to flirt a little. This will work wonders for your self esteem and your hurt feelings, and will create a little bit of jealousy in your ex. Let your ex simmer for a while, and you will start looking much more attractive to him or her in no time at all.
However, a word of caution with this particular word of advice, for teens dealing with breakups; don't overdo the jealousy factor as it can easily backfire on you.
- Take things slow. Even if your intention is to get things going with your ex, the breakup is going to have created residual feelings of heartbreak, so you need to mend your heart before you strike up any relationship, ex or not.
To sum up this advice for teens dealing with breakups, use your common sense and keep your emotions under control. By doing so you will find that time will be your best friend as your heart heals :)
Dr. Pharms, PhD.
Thursday, February 7, 2013
How To Be An Amazing Girlfriend Without Being Wonder Woman
How To Be An Amazing Girlfriend Without Being Wonder Woman
The good news is that it is fairly simple to answer how to be an amazing girlfriend. You just need to know certain tricks and soon he will love the ground you walk on.
Often when women get involved with a man, they start to become comfortable. They stop dressing as well as they once did and leave waxing and other grooming a little bit longer than we should. This is the first step to being amazing. You never want him to see you looking anything other than your best. Yes ladies this means that the fluffy nightwear stays firmly in the closest and the sexy black negligee is neatly folded under the pillow :)
This brings us to the next step. You have to have a very active and interesting sex life in order to gain the amazing girlfriend award. Seriously now is the time to be reading Karma Sutra cover to cover and putting some of the easier moves into practice. Men love a great time in bed but they like it even better when they turn their partner on so if he does make it obvious. Yes think the dinner scene from when Harry met Sally! Initiate sex and be open to trying different techniques and positions. Obviously you shouldn't do anything you are uncomfortable with but forget the missionary position every night. That's predictable and boring and doesn't merit the description of amazing.
Let your man out with his friends and don't call or text to find out where he is or who he is with. Men hate clingy insecure women. They don't mind you being a little jealous if some other female flirts with him but they expect you to trust them when they are on a night out.
If you want to be a permanent fixture in your man's life, you need to treat his family and friends with respect. Sure they may not be the people you would chose to socialize with. I am guessing if you were honest, some of your own family wouldn't meet this criteria either. Your man's family will be important to him. In fact you should have already checked how he treats his mom as that is a good indication of how he will treat you in years to come.
It may be easy to answer the question how to be an amazing girlfriend but I am not saying that it will always be easy to put it into practice. But if you master at least some of these techniques you have more chance of moving onto the next step in your relationship. If you think that this is all too much effort, you may just find that your man has plenty of other female friends just waiting for the chance to prove they have what it takes to be an amazing girlfriend.
If you love this man and want to be walking down the street holding hands when you are in your twilight years, you need to take action now. Go on - what have you got to lose?
Wednesday, February 6, 2013
I Want My Ex Back Now
I Want My Ex Back Now
I want my ex back now is a common refrain and one that is thankfully easily remedied. Most of us have broken up at some point with our partners over something very silly. Perhaps we lost our temper or we got into a silly argument and now regret it. Thankfully these types of breakups are easy to rectify.
But perhaps you have broken up over something more serious. Perhaps one of you were unfaithful or lied to your partner? These are bigger problems to overcome but they are not necessarily the end of the road. If both of you are happy to make an effort to reconcile, you can get over almost any obstacle. You may need some professional help from a third party. This may take the form of relationship counseling either as a couple or separately. There are many great articles within my blog on this subject which can be very helpful at putting things into perspective.
The first thing you should do is to arrange a meeting in a public place. If you meet in private you could let your emotions take over and either end up having a huge argument or in bed making love. Of course the second option might be enjoyable but it will not necessarily sort out getting your ex back.
Meeting to discuss your relationship is a chance for you both to air your grievances. This is not a blame game and if you have the idea that you are going to make your ex partner pay for their behavior then do yourself a favor and walk away now. What you want to do is acknowledge that you two have some issues to work through but you want the relationship to work and would like to give it another go.
Having any sort of marriage/ partnership with someone takes work and commitment. We are very different in how we think about things and how we communicate. Sometimes we can blow issues out of all proportion and either our pride or our tempers prevent us from discussing our problems like adults and we behave like kids.
If you want your ex back, you will need to convince them that you have something special and worth fighting for. Be prepared for some reservations depending on the original reasons for breaking up. Don't try to make them take you back by making them jealous or playing any other types of games. Games belong in the school yard. Make an effort to look your best. It helps if you wear an outfit that you know your partner likes and finds attractive. Use their favorite scent and cologne as well.
Keep the conversation civil and talk about the great times you have shared and your dreams for the future. It may take a while and more than one meeting but in time you may be back together and no longer saying I want ex back now!
Monday, February 4, 2013
5 Ways To Be Romantic After A Break Up
5 Ways To Be Romantic After A Break Up
So you've broken up with the person you love and you want them back. But how can you be romantic with someone after you've broken up with them? That doesn't exactly provide you with opportunities for romance when you're not dating or seeing each other at all.
It can certainly be a challenge, but here are 5 ways to be romantic after a break up that can help you express your feelings. These ideas not only offer the opportunity for romance, but they'll make your ex feel special which is one of the most important things you can do when you want to get back together.
It's important to remember, however, that you need to respect your ex's wishes. If you're calling and stopping by and they want you to stop, you need to stop. But that doesn't mean you can't make a romantic gesture.
But your gesture will be better received if you don't do it immediately. Stop bothering your ex and begging them back. Give them some space without you. After some time has passed, then make one of these romantic gestures which will surprise them and remind them of you.
Tip one: send flowers. Don't do this immediately after you give your ex what they want by contacting them less. Wait a little while then send a bouquet of their favorite flowers and have them delivered. Don't have them delivered when they're at work or in front of many other people. Have them delivered at home instead.
And don't write wishes of getting back together or love on the card that's attached. Include a message that says something as simple as I hope you're doing well, or hope you're okay.
Tip two: focus on them. Wait a while and then call or stop by when it feels like it would be okay to do so. But don't talk about yourself or what you want. Ask if they need anything or if there's anything that you can help them with. Do this without the pressure of anything in return.
Tip three: do something very thoughtful. After some time has passed, send them a thoughtful card or gift that's obviously just for them. If they have exams coming up or a tough project at work, send a card of encouragement about it without mentioning yourself. For a birthday or any type of occasion, instead of the fancy gift, wash their car or give them something practical to show that you care.
Tip four: make a romantic gesture that doesn't necessarily include you. Surprise them with two tickets to a movie or play designed for them to take someone else. They might just ask you now that the pressure's off.
Tip five: give up something you know they want. Whether it was a CD or anything that belongs to you that you can replace, offer it to them in goodwill. These 5 ways to be romantic after a break up can help your efforts to get back together and make you both feel good.
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