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Tuesday, April 5, 2016

Three Inoculations Against a Break Up








Three Inoculations Against a Break Up

No relationship rolls along without any bumps in the road. Once a crisis presents itself, couples discover pulling the relationship out of a downward spiral proves supremely difficult. Partners can take simple steps to smooth things out lowing the risk of an explosive end to the relationship. Though the steps sound easy, couples need to invest time and energy if they seek a perpetual trajectory. Let's see what they need to pursue.

Communication

The cornerstone of every relationship, personal or profession, rests on being able to communicate. When approaching any problem, couples find most of the issues tie back to how they communicate. A simple process exists to get couples on the same page while strengthen the relationship as a whole. Breaking them into pieces will demonstrate their importance and how they help couples moving forward.

Listening: Individuals always think they are excellent listeners. Unfortunately, active listening requires more than not talking. To listen, the couple will need to maintain eye contact, confirm the message being received and ask key questions. It is also important not to interrupt the person speaking too frequently.

Sharing: The other side of communication means sharing things as well. A less forceful person might hold things close rather than offering thoughts, feelings and dreams to their partner. A lack of emotional honesty and parting of the veil makes both people feel isolated.

Communication is a give and take. Both people need to feel seen and heard. Those who do not feel that connection will seek it elsewhere.

Apologize Sincerely:

Behind communications, couples who last are able to apologize to one another. This is more than a quick "I'm sorry" to move things along. The party who has been hurt needs to share they have been harmed and how it makes them feel. Once aware of the offense, the other person should communicate their understanding of the situation, their pain over having hurt the other person and how they intend to address this in the future. 

 

  Apologies can be one of the most challenging things a couple can face, even those who have been together for a long time. Those capable of mastering sincere apologies last far longer than those who hold onto resentment and pain letting it fester and seethe. Also, an honest, heartfelt expression trumps a perfect execution every time.



Doing Stuff Together:
This step, similar to the first two, sound surprisingly simple and obvious. Unfortunately, couples with longer relationships point to a lack of mutual interests, adventures and surprises. Activities done together bond couples giving them a shared language. They can recall a time they went somewhere, played a game or even did something they never thought they would do. Here are some things to consider when planning an activity.

* Small Works: Simple things can carry as big an impact as the largest all day adventure.
* Get Out of Town: Even a day trip to a national park can break a routine and put a couple on a path to discovery.
* Indoor Playtime: Doing a puzzle, having a picnic on the floor or playing a childhood board game adds a sense of play and gets everyone off their electronic devices for a little while.

All of these items place the couples in front of one another. When couples share space, they will end up sharing other things too. They meld together in a healthy way where they can communicate deeply, ask for honest forgiveness and develop a unified history. All they will need to invest is time and effort.

Monday, June 15, 2015

Date Nights: More Than a Fun Night Out




Couples throughout time and the world recall the one date when everything clicked. In the story of their relationship, this date is they share with family and friends. The pinnacle date proves unique, but it links to every other date like a string of pearls connecting their history and future. Looking at date nights, couples could discount their importance, not see their benefits or be fresh out of ideas.


More Than Optional

Talk to anyone in relationship about the point when things became stale and they indicate the loss of romance, fun, commitment or perhaps all three. If asked at the beginning, the wild passion would have blinded them to a bland future because people rarely plan for the slow decline of anything, much less a relationship. Everyone, even the most stoic, needs these energizing aspects in their relationship. People want to feel valued, heard and considered. The lack of these things cause people to seek it elsewhere.


How Can a Date Night Help?

The act of setting aside time and making a plan permits couples an escape from their routines. Most established and effective patterns aid smooth transitions from one aspect of life to another. Dates are not always about things going smoothly. Running out of gas on a date creates space for a quite conversation walking hand in hand. Time away helps each person see their partner as an individual with interests, dreams and quirks rather than some relational icon. Also a pleasant delay happens within a date allowing intimacy to build. Pursuing each other kindles fun and playfulness. In this fertile ground, romance can blossom.


Don't Need to Be an Artist


"I'm not that creative." The phrase of surrender for everyone. Guess what? It does not represent a relational escape hatch. Everyone loves to be seen and known intimately. The agreement struck should never be one sided. The most buttoned up partner can step up because of their investment in the relationship. Before we start with date night ideas, some ground rules need to be put in place.


* Date nights can occur in daylight.
* Be aware of personal tastes meaning don't take someone involved with animal rights to a bull fight.
* Both partners should participate in spearheading a date night as the responsibility does not fall to one person.
* Not everything requires a bank loan, so look for low cost options.
* Make it fun.


With those as the foundation, here are some ideas to get date night rolling. Be aware all of these options have a variety of commitments and costs. Time taken in research demonstrates care partners have for one another.


Dance Lessons: Several dance studios offer free introductory lessons or packages. What could be more tender and intimate than learning to move in unison with your partner? Also, it might open up avenues for other date nights like monthly salsa dancing at a local club.


Cookouts: Preparing a meal, packaging it up and carrying it to local park demonstrates ones knowledge of the other person. No one hates the thought of being whisked away and fed. Selecting a few specialty meats and cheeses would be a nice touch. Though tempting, avoid bologna because this is a date and not lunch.


National Parks: Hiking surrounded by nature and national monuments allow for good conversations. Selecting a time when the park will be less crowded, like a Tuesday morning when kids are in school and others at work, places couples in a grand and intimate setting. Also, look at the previous idea for a combo of park and picnic.




As you can see, date night is a critical part of any relationship. Those who ignore time alone with their partner will do so at the peril of their future. Take the time, do the research and have fun connecting. You'll be glad you did and so will your partner.

Thursday, June 11, 2015

Wednesday, November 19, 2014

Saturday, November 15, 2014

Thursday, July 10, 2014

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Sunday, July 6, 2014