A blog from a Relationship Consultant. One that loves what he does and wants to share some of his learning experiences.
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Showing posts with label how to get over some one you love. Show all posts
Showing posts with label how to get over some one you love. Show all posts
Wednesday, March 14, 2012
Why Do I Want My Ex Back
Why Do I Want My Ex Back
Why do I want My ex back? has been the cry of many who have been unable to let go of a love that has past them by. It is an understandable question to ask. Common sense tells you that you need to move on. Most of your closest friends are hoping that you would. Your ex most likely is wishing that you could move on as well. So why is it that you have to keep asking yourself, Why do I want my ex back?
When you are asking, Why do I want my ex back? consider what has just happened. You were in a love relationship of some kind, may be a marriage. It may have lasted a long time or only a short time but in either case, you had a lot invested in it. It is hard to let go of things and ideas that you may have been really attached to.
Most people do not enter into relationships lightly. They go into them hoping for something that will last a long time and just want love. You have dreams of the way that things could be. You have an idea of the way things should be. For some reason it doesn't happen. The bubble bursts on your idea and then you are left hanging on. It made such good and almost perfect sense at the time and then it is gone. You have to adjust to the idea that what you saw isn't there anymore if it was at all.
Was it love or just the idea of being in love? The lines get so confusing sometimes. Was the love ever there? It is very likely that it was at one point. The only problem was that it wasn't permanent. The two of you became incredibly important parts of each other. You get used to having certain things or people attached to you and when they are gone your mind may have trouble adjusting.
There are those who have lost limbs who still feel a phantom itch in the appendage that is now gone. There are still brain cells that are telling you that what isn't there itches and there isn't a thing you can do about it unless you retrain your brain.
The same thing is true for those who were intimately attached to someone, whether it was romantic or platonic in nature. If those people are removed for some reason, those parts of your brain that had grown accustomed to that loved one being there will have to adjust. While your brain is adjusting to the change, you are left thinking about them almost against your will.
If you are frustrated because you keep asking yourself, Why do I want my ex back? don't get too distraught over it. It may help you to get some advice on how to get over a relationship from someone who has been there or who understands and has helped others. It is only natural that you will have trouble with it and want my ex back. Give it some time, get some help, and get distracted and in time you will no longer be asking, Why do I want my ex back?
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Tuesday, January 24, 2012
He Dumped Me How Will I Ever Survive
Dear Dr. Pharms, PhD. He Dumped Me How Will I Ever Survive !!!
Dear, He Dumped Me How Will I Ever Survive,
If you are saying "he dumped me. How will I ever survive?" The words in this article will give you comfort. It may help you to know that while you've broken up, you are not a broken person.
When you've been in the position that "he dumped me," you have two fears. The first is that you will never recover from the pain. The second is that no one will ever love you again.
Take heart, dear. The fear isn't real. The pain is real. But, the situation exists in your head, not in the real world. While one part of your life may be over, your life is not over.
You still have friends and family who care about you. In fact, you now have more time to spend with them. Many times, when you get into an involved romantic relationship, we lose touch with the other people who bring meaning to your life. You now have a chance to reconnect with them.
In fact, sharing your loss with them may encourage them to share their break up experiences with you. When you say, "he dumped me," that allows them to be vulnerable about how they've been hurt. You will begin to see that your pain is not unique. You will also be able to see that other people have lived full and complete lives after a break up.
In addition to having more time for others who you care about, you will have more time to work on the issues in your life. Many times, when you are in a relationship, the activities you care about get pushed aside if your partner isn't interested in them. This is a good time to get re-involved in the things that matter to you.
If no particular activity comes to mind, then maybe you need to get a hobby! No, really, when you say "he dumped me," what you tell yourself is that you are worthless and your not. When you take up a new activity and invest in yourself, you prove to yourself that you matter.
There are all kinds of activities you can get involved with. The best thing to do is to join a group, class, or workshop. For instance, joining a hiking club will let you meet lots of people who enjoy the great outdoors. A ballroom dancing class will introduce you to people who enjoy the finer things in life. A writer's workshop will be filled with creative types.
As you begin to re-engage with the world, you will lose the sense of desperation you felt when he dumped you. You will make new friends who share a common interest. And, you may even meet someone special to spend your time with.
The truth is that you will find someone to love you. Your soul mate is out there. Your ex may have done you a favor by breaking up with you because now you have a chance to find someone who fits you better.
And, always remember, the best revenge when "he dumped me" is moving and growing on in love.
Wednesday, January 4, 2012
How To Get Over Someone You Love

If you want to know how to get over someone you love, you must realize that none of the answers are easy ones. No matter how ready you might think you are to move on and get over that person, that you have to ask how to do it at all shows that it's going to be a painful process.
Sometimes it's a slow process, too. You might think you're over someone and a year or two later be reminded of that person and feel all the pain and sadness again. That doesn't mean you're not over the person, though.
If you've had a lot emotionally invested into a relationship and it ends, it's something that can potentially make you feel sad for years. Maybe even for the rest of your life. But that doesn't mean the sadness has to be paralyzing or has to throw you into a depression.
By getting over the person, you can realize that losing them made you sad, and look back on it as you would any sad loss. It's the period of time soon after the loss that should be the hardest, that makes you ask how to get over someone you love.
If the break-up is new, often the only way to deal with it is just to face the pain and ride it out. It's going to hurt, no matter what you do. But there are some things you can do to lessen the pain. You can remove obvious visual reminders of the person, if possible.
Photographs of them can be put away for a while. Gifts they gave you can be stored instead of displayed. You can even avoid the places you used to go together for a while. This tip can be found in pretty much every list that explains how to get over someone you love, so it's at least a popular idea that's worth a try.
If you're really having trouble living your life after the break-up, it might be necessary to seek counseling. Simply explain that you've just been through a painful break-up and ask the counselor how to get over someone you love. They can offer helpful advice, and can be more specific than generic lists about how to get over someone you love.
A counselor can also probably offer better advice than friends or family.
Your friends and family might feel they know your situation too well. Some may have motives for helping you get over the person. They might not have liked that you were in the relationship to begin with, so they might want you to get over things or move on to another person too quickly.
With a counselor, though, you can safely tell them things about the relationship you probably don't want friends or family to even know.
Feel free to go to counseling for as long as you need to. If the counselor feels that you're spending too much time dwelling on how to get over someone you love, they'll tell you. And offer solutions to help you, the key is to be proactive and not reactive.
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Labels:
how to get over some one you love,
love,
marriage,
relationships,
romance,
sex
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