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Friday, December 28, 2012

Before You And Your Boyfriend Get Back Together

                                                                      
                                                                   
                                                               
                                     
 
Before You And Your Boyfriend Get Back Together



Are you considering getting back together with your ex boyfriend?  The idea probably seems quite exciting, especially if both of you are remembering all of the good times that you had together.  But you should definitely do some serious thinking before you and your boyfriend decide to get back together.

Many couples do successfully reunite and end up with very strong relationships after a break-up.  However, some couples end up getting back together for the wrong reasons or without fully dealing with the factors that led to the dissolution of the relationship.  If you want your rejuvenated relationship to be a success, make sure that you first take the time to consider the following issues:

Old wounds need to be healed.

In other words, there was some reason why you and your boyfriend broke up in the first place; has this issue been resolved?  If not, it is likely that your relationship may fail again.  You and your boyfriend must find a way to either deal with the problems that led to the break-up or you must jointly decide that the break-up issues are no longer conflicts.  It isn’t enough to simply have regrets about the relationship and how it ended; things must change.


Let go of old expectations.

If you and your boyfriend decide to give the relationship another try, you will need to learn to treat it as a new relationship--not as an extension of your old one.  This doesn’t mean that you need to completely start fresh; however, you do need to rebuild trust and friendship.  You will need to reassess your goals as a couple and work on creating a new life together.

• Don’t let emotions make decisions about reuniting or about the new relationship.


Of course it can feel quite thrilling to talk again with your ex, and you both may be feeling the euphoria of falling for each other once again.  Yet allowing those feelings to control whether you and your boyfriend get back together could be a mistake.  You both need to think rationally about how a new relationship would be--without letting the floods of emotion overcome you.

 Similarly, when making decisions about the new relationship, it is best to do so calmly and with sensible and reasonable thought.  If either of you allow emotions to cloud your judgment, you may come to regret it later on.

If you really want to get back together with your boyfriend, make sure that you and he are both really ready for another try at the relationship.  By doing so, you could end up saving yourself a great deal of heartache if, for some reason, the relationship does not fare well again.

It may seem quite easy to believe that your boyfriend has changed because of your great desire to reignite the relationship; however, if it isn’t actually true you will just be setting yourself up for failure.  Instead, set yourself up for success by being honest with your boyfriend and making sure that the two of you do not follow the same path that led to your first break-up.





Wednesday, December 26, 2012

Effective Tips On How To Save My Marriage





 

Effective Tips On How To Save My Marriage



If your relationship between the two of you to the point of questioning how long you will be together, you may be asking how to save my marriage. Remember that a marriage is a union of two people, so finding solutions to your marriage problems together is essential. These problems cannot be solved by just one of you.

Here are some tips that can help bring you together and increase the chances of your marriage lasting:

- No marriage is perfect. Unlike fairy tales, typical marriages have their flaws just like each of us do. Do not expect perfection from each other. Accept that there will be lumps and bumps along the way.

- Marriage requires work. For your relationship to work, both of you need to realize that it takes work to make a marriage strong. The more work that you put into your marriage can result in an honest and happy relationship. If you do not take this seriously, it can be detrimental. The areas that typically need the most work involve trust and respect in one another . Without these things, your relationship will fall apart.

- Communicate and listen effectively. Create an environment where you can talk to each other without getting upset. Speak calmly and clearly about how you feel and allow your partner to do the same. Make sure to listen to what they have to say, regardless of what they say. Discuss how each of you feel and find common ground where both of you feel that you can find solutions for issues you are facing. The more open and honest you are with each other, the better.

- Do not dwell on past problems. Do not let past mistakes or misunderstandings determine the future of your marriage. While your past problems may be quite serious, dwelling on them will not help your marriage. Focus on the here and now and take each day as it comes.

- Be more giving to one another. Be considerate of each others needs and feelings. You can do caring gestures to simply show that you are thinking of them. If you are unsure as to what you should do for your spouse, ask them what you can do to make them happy. Doing something that will make them feel loved  and special can go a long way towards strengthening your relationship. Sometimes doing the simplest things can mean the most to them.

If you have tried all of the above and still are asking how to save my marriage, a professional marriage counselor may be your best option. The decision to go to a counselor must be made by both of you as it will not work if you both do not participate fully.

If you are both truly committed to making changes to save your marriage, a counselor can offer unbiased advice to help you. By getting advice from counselor, it may help you see your problems in a different light and help you find solutions.

Tuesday, December 25, 2012

Advice On Sex To Repair Your Relationship

                                                                  
                                                                   
                                                                   
                                     
  
Advice On Sex To Repair Your Relationship



Being in a bad relationship is a tough thing to do.  Nothing is worse than being married and lonely at the same time.  If you think the best way to save your relationship is to 'spice up your sex life' you may want to think again.  Here is some advice on sex to repair your relationship.

First of all don't buy into the old cliche that if you have great sex your partner will be satisfied and not leave.  Unless your partner is an adolescent, or just acts like one, sex alone won't be enough to keep your relationship strong.  A good adult relationship is made up of many components and until you can get it clicking on at least several levels, not just sexual, you will struggle and most likely won't be happy in the relationship.

A word of caution though, no one is perfect and no relationship is perfect.  You will have times when you and your partner are not on the same page, and that's OK.  It's more about balance, in your relationship as a whole you should be on the same page more often than not. If it's balanced the other way, where you are at odds more often than you are in sync you should seriously consider reevaluating the relationship because the two of you just aren't a good fit, and that's unlikely to change.

So before you decide that hotter sex is the key to making your relationship what you really want it to be, consider some of these points:

1. How was your relationship in the beginning?  Did you have a lot of hobbies that you shared together?  What did you do, besides sex, when you spent time together?  If you don't do those things together anymore, why not?   If you analyze these changes in your relationship you will be a lot closer to figuring out what you need to work on to make your relationship strong again.

2. Have you asked your partner what they think is going on with your relationship?  After all you're both part of the situation, and the problem.  Why not share with each other what you are feeling, instead of complaining to your girlfriends, or buddies, why not ask your partner?  You two know whats really going on and they don't.

Make sure that when you ask your partner what they're thinking you give them the opportunity to tell you how they feel in a 'safe' environment.  What I mean by that is don't get mad and  yell at them if they say something you don't want to hear.  If you do then you are sending them a signal that they can't open up to you or it will get ugly, so they won't turn to you and share their feelings. That is the beginning of the end for many relationships.

Once they've told you how they feel, it's your turn.  And the same rules apply. You have the right to express your feelings without being persecuted by your partner.

If you and your partner have reached a rough patch in your relationship it can be tempting to think that if you can reignite a fire in bed you'll be able to save your relationship, unfortunately that's simply not the case.  Use the advice on sex to repair your relationship tips I've given you above to start to rebuild your relationship in a healthy way. But don't leave out sex and romance, just don't make it your only instrument in reigniting the love and passion in your relationship.