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Saturday, April 11, 2009

Think Postitive about Your Self-Confidence

Think Positive about Your Self Confidence!

A person’s self confidence is their ability to believe in themselves. People with a high self confidence are optimistic, assertive, and eager individuals ready to take on the world and conquer the goals. On the other hand, people with a low self confidence find themselves often distant and despondent, constantly questioning themselves and often passive or submissive. Self confidence is the key to succeeding in your academic pursuits, athletic activities, employment field, and private life. Individuals that entertain a high sense of self confidence usually go on to phenomenally succeed, whereas individuals with a low sense of self confidence tend to be brought down by their inner demons and fail.

The trap of low self confidence is extremely easy to fall into and extremely difficult to remove yourself. That tiny voice in the back of your head that criticizes, questions, and insults can easily grow louder and louder the more you listen. Instead of traditional angel on one shoulder and devil on the other, someone with low self confidence finds the devil there more often than not. Instead of boosting themselves up by enjoying their accomplishments or congratulating themselves on a job well done, individuals with low self esteem find their shoulder devil is constantly picking and finding fault in the midst of triumph.

They key to maintaining a high self esteem is positive thinking. Individuals that think of themselves in a positive light are more likely to have a higher self confidence than those nay-sayers in the crowd. One way to remain positive and keep and upbeat aura is to surround yourself with positive people. Avoid individuals who criticize, nit pick, and put down. These negative individuals are a sinking ship and will only bring you down with them. By surrounding yourself with positive people, you will find it easier to maintain your high sense of a self worth and banish that devil from your shoulder. If you find yourself in a situation where you must deal with individuals with a negative outlook, confront them on the matter. Often, office gossip, school yard taunts, or home issues bury themselves deep within our minds and wreck havoc on our self confidence. Instead of allowing yourself to be burdened by these harmful words and thoughts, fight back! Refuse to stoop to their level, but insist the back biting and drama cease with the negative words. This task is certain to be difficult and the easiest thing to do is to walk away and let yourself moon over the hurtful words and thoughts, but the right thing to do is to attempt to put a stop to the situation. If the individuals refuse to cease, continue, or even worsen their actions, then break apart from the trend. Unfortunately, this may mean ending relationships, both personal and job related.

If you find yourself surrounded by so-called friends who constantly make you feel poorly about yourself and lower your self confidence, it might be time to part ways. Remember, friends, family, and loved ones are supposed to make you feel good about yourself and have your best interest at heart. This is not always the case and friends by title alone can do more harm than most enemies. Furthermore, personal relationships can have the same—if not worse—affect on one’s self confidence level. Quite often, individuals in abusive relationships find themselves despondent and upset about their situation. If a loved one is making you feel poorly about yourself by constant criticism, abusive language, and distrusting actions, drastic circumstances may be due. Make the case for a change in the relationship and make your loved one understand what his or her words, thoughts, or actions do to your self confidence. If this fails, you may need to make a painful break, but remember, your loved ones are supposed to love and support you at all times. If someone is failing to do so, they have not fulfilled their role in you life. You can catch me on http://theresilientinvestors.ning.com

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Why You Need A Success Mindset

Why You Need a Success Mindset:
You hear it all the time: "success is a state of mind." There are people who would argue that success is a natural result of proper planning, preparation and focused action, and that viewpoint certainly holds a grain of truth - but there are also many exceptions to disprove that "rule." Have you ever wondered how two people can attempt the same objective in the same way and only one of them succeed? Is it sheer luck? Timing? Tenacity? More often than not, it's a person's mind-set that determines whether they fail or succeed.
What is a mind-set, anyway? Typically a mind-set refers to your predominant state of mind day to day. It's what you think about, focus on, and expect from your daily experiences. Think negatively, expect the worst, feel pessimistic about your options and that's exactly what you'll seem to draw into your life. Likewise, think positively, expect the best and focus on a successful outcome and you get it most of the time.
Makes sense, right? But how exactly does this work? Why is a success mind-set so important? There are three big reasons:
1) A success mind-set boosts your confidence and self-belief.
A lack of belief in yourself usually comes along with a sense of powerlessness and futility, which is the exact opposite of a success mind-set. Lack of confidence means you see no point in trying to be successful because it won't happen anyway. Obviously, this type of mind-set is a recipe for failure in any endeavor.
Having a true success mind-set, on the other hand, means you believe in yourself and your capabilities. You believe you can succeed at nearly anything you try, and you're willing to give it your best shot. Even better, the more you do try, the more confidence and self-belief you build - until you're virtually unstoppable!
2) A success mind-set strengthens your determination.
Without a success mind-set, one failure is enough to convince you that pursuing your goals is a waste of time. Tenacity and determination don't exist in your world. If you don't become a raging success the first time you try, you surmise that it simply wasn't meant to be. Unfortunately, few things worth having are obtained so easily!
A success mind-set, however, strengthens your awareness that a failure is not the end of the story - it's just one more way that didn't work out the way you planned. In fact, a true success mind-set makes it obvious that the only true failure occurs when you stop trying.
3) A success mind-set encourages fruitful actions.
Have you ever found yourself wandering in circles because you didn't know the best way to approach a specific goal? Perhaps you had an idea of the best course of action but you felt intimidated by some of the action steps required. As a result, you may have kept sabotaging your efforts as you searched in vain for an easier or less frightening way to your goal.
With a true success mind-set, you'll always know the most effective action steps that will lead directly to your goal. As already discussed, you'll also have the inner confidence and determination to pursue them - which is a sure recipe for . . . you guessed it; success!
If I had to sum up how to develop a success mind-set into as few words as possible, I'd say this:
- Go for your dreams.- Think positively.- Believe in yourself.- Believe you can do better.- Learn, grow and develop yourself.- Be willing to take chances.- Give it your all.- Expect the best in every situation.- Be willing to fail.- When you fall down, get back up and try again.
Keep doing that and you can't help but become successful, from the inside out. Catch me on: http://theresilientinvestors.ning.com

Monday, April 6, 2009

Self-Talk

Have You Checked Your Self-Talk Lately?
Did you know that you talk to yourself all day long? No, not the mental chatter about activities and chores that you need to remember throughout the day. That’s a form of self-talk too, but I’m referring more to the things you say to yourself on a regular basis; and more importantly, the tone in which you say them.
When you make a mistake, do you berate yourself angrily? Do you put yourself down or call yourself derogatory names? When you have a hard time making positive changes in your life, do you bemoan what a “worthless” person you are and conclude that you’ll never do anything right?
Negative self-talk can be incredibly damaging to your self-esteem, especially if it’s a big part of your daily life. When you keep saying things like that to yourself, eventually you begin to believe them!
Most often these messages begin as statements uttered by the adults in your life when you were a child. They may have said something negative about you when your actions displeased them, or perhaps they had a habit of saying unkind things even when you didn’t deserve it. As painful as these experiences can be, even worse is when you pick up where they left off and keep repeating the same negative messages to yourself over and over!
The good news is that you can change your self-talk any time you want. You just have to know how to become aware of the tone of your messages and consciously replace them with more encouraging ones.
Try these simple steps for starters:
1) Develop awareness of your self-talk. It may take practice, but if you keep “listening” in to your inner voice, you’ll begin to notice when you talk negatively to yourself.
2) Challenge the negative messages. When you notice yourself saying something negative such as, “You’re such a screw-up, you can’t do anything right” – stop yourself and challenge that belief. Is that really true? Maybe you mess up sometimes, but do you ALWAYS mess up? Probably not.
3) Replace the negative messages with positive messages. When you realize you’re saying unkind and untrue things to yourself, simply turn it around in your mind. Using the above example, you might say, “Wow, that’s not true at all! I do plenty of things right. It’s true I make mistakes, but so does everyone. I’m a good person and I try my best. That’s good enough for me.”
Over time, your efforts will pay off in the form of stronger self-esteem and respect for yourself and your capabilities. It probably won’t happen overnight, but the more you work at turning your self-talk in a more positive direction, the better you’ll feel about yourself. Catch me on: http://theresilientinvestors.ning.com