Too Many Break Ups

Too Many Break Ups 

While in the midst of a series of break ups, people see them as eternal and feel as though nothing will ever change. The sensation may cause one to question if they have made the right decision. 

An important thing to remember is patterns shift without warning. One might begin questioning if they have gone through too many break ups following their most recent one. 

This sensation will be heightened if several have occurred within a short period of time. Spotting warning signs of a concerning trend may signify a deeper issue. Identifying them becomes critical before making any changes.

Addicted to the New

Some people crave new relationships and will end a relationship to experience something new. Those pursuing novelty may not even realize the pattern in their behavior. Let's look at some reasons the new might appeal to a person.

* Fresh Stories: After hearing repeated tales from the same person, the seeker will get to hear things they never have. A new teller might even spice up similar stories which have grown stale.

* Loss of Interest: Those entranced by originality may tune out of the relationship when things grow familiar. With this lack, they seek something to spice things up.

* Opportunity for Reinvention: Sometimes they also might wish to change their own narrative. As with their partner, telling one's history grows tedious for themselves as well. They can embellish new things when they retell it to someone different.

Lacking Growth

Someone who chronically bails from the couple could believe they have reached the zenith of the relationship. Like with the quest for the new, they feel the next person possesses the correct key to unlock all their potential. 

A sad truth is the individual responsible for their stagnation is often not the other person.

 Rarely does the person ending things repeatedly have the courage to address the deeper truth. Connected to this viewpoint is how the person uses their romantic partners for their own end. Rather than embracing who they want to become and pursing the goal, they look for another person to fill the hole within themselves.

Afraid of What's Next

Being too scared to move deeper into a committed relationship is a common problem for those who chronically terminate relationships. Most of the greatest concerns facing the couple prove more imagined than real. Commitment allows for deeper growth. Love becomes richer when couples display vulnerability with one another. One of the sad truths is such a level can only be achieved by those who remain together and unafraid of what the future holds for them.

One of the most important things to remember is too many break ups does not denote a number. A person can have a single relationship end causing them to surrender their hope of finding someone they love and who loves them.

 Also, the only time the number is too many is after finding the right person. Be aware of the reasons for each break up, do not fall into an unhealthy pattern and trust in the possibility of love.

Steps to Potent Passion

Steps to Potent Passion  

Couples seek ways to fire up their lives. Often the word passion denotes a focus on the bedroom. Passion means more than strictly a physical connection. 

Passion builds an existing connection. Couples without connection rarely create the heat necessary to spark deep and lasting passion. Taking the small steps permit couples to move toward greater passion and find the right spot to light the fire they need.

Changes Are Key

Routine allows couples to possess a sense of continuity in their relationship. A fine line exists between comfort and staleness. Couples who experience the same things repeatedly have tendency fall closer to complacency. They sense everything is fine and will always be that way.

This makes throwing a little variety critical to ignite passion. Step one is making a change, any change, and see where things go. Some ways to shake things up can include planning an event with a small amount of direct interaction like a concert. Travel provides an easy way to change things up by drastically altering the surroundings, entertainment options and local cuisine making passion a pleasurable byproduct.

Take More Risks

Couples looking to fire things up must do more than just change things. Making an effort by expanding their horizons offers an opening for passion to enter. Risks come in several stripes. What may sound daring to one partner may be dipping a toe in the pool for another. 

Talking about what to do, how risky to be and getting comfortable with the expectations assures both people will not be uncomfortable when the time comes to jump in the water. 

One should never force their partner into things they do not want to do because nothing stifles passion like an unwilling participant. Let's look at some guidelines for stretching the boundaries.

* Make It New for Both of You: No one should be an expert because it allow growth and comfort for both of you.
* Be Open: Saying yes, even with the possibility of appearing foolish, will generate a thrill leading to enriching passion.
* Laugh About the Mistakes: Doing something risky means things might not go perfectly and laughing about the foibles free everyone up to do it again.

Contact Is Critical

Passion grows best in an environment where every level of relational contact is present. Couples who communicate well, trust one another and connect find passion in almost everything they do. They relish the new things they experience while enjoying tasks other may find mundane.

Physical contact is more than merely sexual contact. Hand holding can occur in the grocery store or after an mud run where both people are filthy and tired. Simple touching can grow to more intimate contact. Stolen kisses linger for longer and longer making skin warm to match beating hearts.

More important than mere physical contact is a meeting of a couple's hearts. Hearts united and open will give each person the freedom they need to share the deepest longings, desires and truths. In the cauldron of deep love, passion blazes bright. Couples are able to maintain a passion like this because of the trust they have in each other.

Passion proves best when maintained and grown over time. Phases of life exist where passion flees. Often outside circumstances rob couples of their passion. 

One of the saddest days occur when a couple surrenders their passion thinking it has been lost forever when all they need is a little time and care. Take the steps necessary and jealously guard the passion between you because it is priceless.

Keeping Partners Happy

Keeping Partners Happy 

Relationship happiness challenges every couple and grows only more so the longer couples remain together. It goes beyond flowers at Valentine's Day and a sweet card on the anniversary. Knowing one's partner is critical followed closely by avoiding the temptation of self interest. Let's see some key missteps and wins in keeping partners happy.

Self Happiness Temptation

The person's tastes and preferences one knows the best is their own. When making decisions in a relationship, they can have a hard time putting aside what they prefer in favor of their partner. What causes these choices to be wrong?

* They ask for a change the partner is not willing to make -- either because they do not want or are not ready to make.
* They seek to establish a level of commitment for one's own security in the relationship.
* They cast the individual in a light not fitting who they really are causing them to feel a deep discomfort.
* They call into question the reason for the relationship if they do not meet unspoken expectations.

Early on, these sorts of things can be talked out because couples are getting to know each other. The amount of information they do not have far outweighs what they possess. Trouble occurs when it continues to happen because then a partner begins feeling they are not being heard.

What Makes Them Happy

A few simple rules exist to discover what makes another person feel happy in a relationship. If they are simple, people think everyone gains access and follows through in every instance. Because of such an unfortunate misconception coupled with a person's natural desire to follow their own self interest, partners need to interrogate and investigate what they are doing.

Ask: Often simply asking a partner will give the clearest indication the aspects of relationships bringing them the most joy. Bear in mind, this might change because people often blind themselves to what they really want. People also need to feel safe enough to be able to give voice to their desires in a relationship.

Watch: People will do things pointing to just what makes them happy. Do they say they need time alone and then linger in the same room with questions? They could be asking for the contact or time. Maybe they produce something creative and need the nurturing safety of the relationship.

Hear: As with everything, we all long to be heard, sometimes even the words. A partner who lived in a tumultuous house growing up may struggle with expressing how deeply they care. By being exposed to their history, one can pick out bits of their story coming through in what they do and positively impact them when they are opening up.

Happiness Connection

There are two people in the relationship, so happiness is not based on a single side. Pursing only one person's bliss will create a lack of balance. Why would this be bad? It provides a place of hiding. By being shielded, couples may become close without any opportunity for deeper connection. This means communicating, exploring activities together and fostering inclusion. This should be reciprocated because happiness should be both people's goal.

Think of a relationship as a tree. Rarely, does anyone ask if a tree is happy. Fortunately, everyone knows when it is happy because it is healthy, strong and growing.

 A relationship where both partners flourish, feel heard and laugh together stretches its root deep into the ground and hold fast for years to come.