Get Engaged
Congratulations, you are going to get engaged! This is an exciting and scary time. One thing I've found is that after the excitement winds down a bit many people start worrying how the marriage will be.
The statistics today are a little frightening, so many marriages end in divorce. I'm sure you don't want to think about that right now but those thoughts can creep in anyway.
But don't worry, you will get engaged and these simple tips will help ensure that you and your honey do live happily ever after. Now, I've got to admit that I'm not an expert, but I do have some ideas and I think they can help ease your mind a little bit.
As a matter of fact, many of the points I'm going to talk about are often covered in pre marriage counseling that is sometimes required prior to getting married. These are things that many of us don't think about, or talk about, but they are important.
You and your honey should think about the following:
1. What are your attitudes about money? Do you both have similar ideas about how to spend and save money? Do you both have similar ideas about which partner, or both, should take care of managing the household budget and paying bills? None of these issues are Earth shattering but it can cause strife in a relationship so finding some common ground early on is a great idea and a good, easy, way to avoid some conflict later on.
2. What are your attitudes about religion? Do you share the same faith, or are you of different faiths? If so, have you discussed how to handle various holidays? Most of the time before you get to the point where you get engaged you have already spent quite a bit of time together and have already gone through a few holidays so you have most likely already worked this one out.
But, if not, it's a good idea to discuss it now.
3. Do you both want to have kids? If so, how many? Have you discussed if you will both work or will one of you try to stay home and raise the kids? If so which one? Will you choose based on who makes the least income or on other factors? If you are of different faiths will you raise your kids with a knowledge of both faiths and basically let them choose?
4. And last but not least , have both of you fully committed to the marriage? What I mean is that have both of you formed a bond with the other and moved away from your family ties? No one is suggesting that you don't continue to have a relationship with your family but your partner should come first.
This is especially true when it comes to how you want to raise your kids and various religious beliefs. Sometimes the most pressure can come right from the parents of one or both of the spouses. They don't usually mean to cause problems but they often do.
That is why it is so very important that you and your partner commit totally to the relationship and each other. Your parents will sometimes want to enforce their ideas on you and your spouse and that can cause a lot of friction. You both need to learn how to respectfully tell them to back off. The sooner you do, the less stress you will have in your marriage.
I don't believe happy endings just happen on their own. I believe that it is a combination of many things such as being mature, committing fully to your partner and most importantly picking the right person in the first place.
When you get engaged you want to have a wonderful time planning not just your wedding but talking about your marriage too. Talking about some of these issues and figuring out how to handle them will make your relationship stronger and happier.
