Think Positive about Your Self Confidence!
A person’s self confidence is their ability to believe in themselves. People with a high self confidence are optimistic, assertive, and eager individuals ready to take on the world and conquer the goals. On the other hand, people with a low self confidence find themselves often distant and despondent, constantly questioning themselves and often passive or submissive. Self confidence is the key to succeeding in your academic pursuits, athletic activities, employment field, and private life. Individuals that entertain a high sense of self confidence usually go on to phenomenally succeed, whereas individuals with a low sense of self confidence tend to be brought down by their inner demons and fail.
The trap of low self confidence is extremely easy to fall into and extremely difficult to remove yourself. That tiny voice in the back of your head that criticizes, questions, and insults can easily grow louder and louder the more you listen. Instead of traditional angel on one shoulder and devil on the other, someone with low self confidence finds the devil there more often than not. Instead of boosting themselves up by enjoying their accomplishments or congratulating themselves on a job well done, individuals with low self esteem find their shoulder devil is constantly picking and finding fault in the midst of triumph.
They key to maintaining a high self esteem is positive thinking. Individuals that think of themselves in a positive light are more likely to have a higher self confidence than those nay-sayers in the crowd. One way to remain positive and keep and upbeat aura is to surround yourself with positive people. Avoid individuals who criticize, nit pick, and put down. These negative individuals are a sinking ship and will only bring you down with them. By surrounding yourself with positive people, you will find it easier to maintain your high sense of a self worth and banish that devil from your shoulder. If you find yourself in a situation where you must deal with individuals with a negative outlook, confront them on the matter. Often, office gossip, school yard taunts, or home issues bury themselves deep within our minds and wreck havoc on our self confidence. Instead of allowing yourself to be burdened by these harmful words and thoughts, fight back! Refuse to stoop to their level, but insist the back biting and drama cease with the negative words. This task is certain to be difficult and the easiest thing to do is to walk away and let yourself moon over the hurtful words and thoughts, but the right thing to do is to attempt to put a stop to the situation. If the individuals refuse to cease, continue, or even worsen their actions, then break apart from the trend. Unfortunately, this may mean ending relationships, both personal and job related.
If you find yourself surrounded by so-called friends who constantly make you feel poorly about yourself and lower your self confidence, it might be time to part ways. Remember, friends, family, and loved ones are supposed to make you feel good about yourself and have your best interest at heart. This is not always the case and friends by title alone can do more harm than most enemies. Furthermore, personal relationships can have the same—if not worse—affect on one’s self confidence level. Quite often, individuals in abusive relationships find themselves despondent and upset about their situation. If a loved one is making you feel poorly about yourself by constant criticism, abusive language, and distrusting actions, drastic circumstances may be due. Make the case for a change in the relationship and make your loved one understand what his or her words, thoughts, or actions do to your self confidence. If this fails, you may need to make a painful break, but remember, your loved ones are supposed to love and support you at all times. If someone is failing to do so, they have not fulfilled their role in you life. You can catch me on http://theresilientinvestors.ning.com
Saturday, April 11, 2009
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
Why You Need A Success Mindset
Why You Need a Success Mindset:
You hear it all the time: "success is a state of mind." There are people who would argue that success is a natural result of proper planning, preparation and focused action, and that viewpoint certainly holds a grain of truth - but there are also many exceptions to disprove that "rule." Have you ever wondered how two people can attempt the same objective in the same way and only one of them succeed? Is it sheer luck? Timing? Tenacity? More often than not, it's a person's mind-set that determines whether they fail or succeed.
What is a mind-set, anyway? Typically a mind-set refers to your predominant state of mind day to day. It's what you think about, focus on, and expect from your daily experiences. Think negatively, expect the worst, feel pessimistic about your options and that's exactly what you'll seem to draw into your life. Likewise, think positively, expect the best and focus on a successful outcome and you get it most of the time.
Makes sense, right? But how exactly does this work? Why is a success mind-set so important? There are three big reasons:
1) A success mind-set boosts your confidence and self-belief.
A lack of belief in yourself usually comes along with a sense of powerlessness and futility, which is the exact opposite of a success mind-set. Lack of confidence means you see no point in trying to be successful because it won't happen anyway. Obviously, this type of mind-set is a recipe for failure in any endeavor.
Having a true success mind-set, on the other hand, means you believe in yourself and your capabilities. You believe you can succeed at nearly anything you try, and you're willing to give it your best shot. Even better, the more you do try, the more confidence and self-belief you build - until you're virtually unstoppable!
2) A success mind-set strengthens your determination.
Without a success mind-set, one failure is enough to convince you that pursuing your goals is a waste of time. Tenacity and determination don't exist in your world. If you don't become a raging success the first time you try, you surmise that it simply wasn't meant to be. Unfortunately, few things worth having are obtained so easily!
A success mind-set, however, strengthens your awareness that a failure is not the end of the story - it's just one more way that didn't work out the way you planned. In fact, a true success mind-set makes it obvious that the only true failure occurs when you stop trying.
3) A success mind-set encourages fruitful actions.
Have you ever found yourself wandering in circles because you didn't know the best way to approach a specific goal? Perhaps you had an idea of the best course of action but you felt intimidated by some of the action steps required. As a result, you may have kept sabotaging your efforts as you searched in vain for an easier or less frightening way to your goal.
With a true success mind-set, you'll always know the most effective action steps that will lead directly to your goal. As already discussed, you'll also have the inner confidence and determination to pursue them - which is a sure recipe for . . . you guessed it; success!
If I had to sum up how to develop a success mind-set into as few words as possible, I'd say this:
- Go for your dreams.- Think positively.- Believe in yourself.- Believe you can do better.- Learn, grow and develop yourself.- Be willing to take chances.- Give it your all.- Expect the best in every situation.- Be willing to fail.- When you fall down, get back up and try again.
Keep doing that and you can't help but become successful, from the inside out. Catch me on: http://theresilientinvestors.ning.com
You hear it all the time: "success is a state of mind." There are people who would argue that success is a natural result of proper planning, preparation and focused action, and that viewpoint certainly holds a grain of truth - but there are also many exceptions to disprove that "rule." Have you ever wondered how two people can attempt the same objective in the same way and only one of them succeed? Is it sheer luck? Timing? Tenacity? More often than not, it's a person's mind-set that determines whether they fail or succeed.
What is a mind-set, anyway? Typically a mind-set refers to your predominant state of mind day to day. It's what you think about, focus on, and expect from your daily experiences. Think negatively, expect the worst, feel pessimistic about your options and that's exactly what you'll seem to draw into your life. Likewise, think positively, expect the best and focus on a successful outcome and you get it most of the time.
Makes sense, right? But how exactly does this work? Why is a success mind-set so important? There are three big reasons:
1) A success mind-set boosts your confidence and self-belief.
A lack of belief in yourself usually comes along with a sense of powerlessness and futility, which is the exact opposite of a success mind-set. Lack of confidence means you see no point in trying to be successful because it won't happen anyway. Obviously, this type of mind-set is a recipe for failure in any endeavor.
Having a true success mind-set, on the other hand, means you believe in yourself and your capabilities. You believe you can succeed at nearly anything you try, and you're willing to give it your best shot. Even better, the more you do try, the more confidence and self-belief you build - until you're virtually unstoppable!
2) A success mind-set strengthens your determination.
Without a success mind-set, one failure is enough to convince you that pursuing your goals is a waste of time. Tenacity and determination don't exist in your world. If you don't become a raging success the first time you try, you surmise that it simply wasn't meant to be. Unfortunately, few things worth having are obtained so easily!
A success mind-set, however, strengthens your awareness that a failure is not the end of the story - it's just one more way that didn't work out the way you planned. In fact, a true success mind-set makes it obvious that the only true failure occurs when you stop trying.
3) A success mind-set encourages fruitful actions.
Have you ever found yourself wandering in circles because you didn't know the best way to approach a specific goal? Perhaps you had an idea of the best course of action but you felt intimidated by some of the action steps required. As a result, you may have kept sabotaging your efforts as you searched in vain for an easier or less frightening way to your goal.
With a true success mind-set, you'll always know the most effective action steps that will lead directly to your goal. As already discussed, you'll also have the inner confidence and determination to pursue them - which is a sure recipe for . . . you guessed it; success!
If I had to sum up how to develop a success mind-set into as few words as possible, I'd say this:
- Go for your dreams.- Think positively.- Believe in yourself.- Believe you can do better.- Learn, grow and develop yourself.- Be willing to take chances.- Give it your all.- Expect the best in every situation.- Be willing to fail.- When you fall down, get back up and try again.
Keep doing that and you can't help but become successful, from the inside out. Catch me on: http://theresilientinvestors.ning.com
Monday, April 6, 2009
Self-Talk
Have You Checked Your Self-Talk Lately?
Did you know that you talk to yourself all day long? No, not the mental chatter about activities and chores that you need to remember throughout the day. That’s a form of self-talk too, but I’m referring more to the things you say to yourself on a regular basis; and more importantly, the tone in which you say them.
When you make a mistake, do you berate yourself angrily? Do you put yourself down or call yourself derogatory names? When you have a hard time making positive changes in your life, do you bemoan what a “worthless” person you are and conclude that you’ll never do anything right?
Negative self-talk can be incredibly damaging to your self-esteem, especially if it’s a big part of your daily life. When you keep saying things like that to yourself, eventually you begin to believe them!
Most often these messages begin as statements uttered by the adults in your life when you were a child. They may have said something negative about you when your actions displeased them, or perhaps they had a habit of saying unkind things even when you didn’t deserve it. As painful as these experiences can be, even worse is when you pick up where they left off and keep repeating the same negative messages to yourself over and over!
The good news is that you can change your self-talk any time you want. You just have to know how to become aware of the tone of your messages and consciously replace them with more encouraging ones.
Try these simple steps for starters:
1) Develop awareness of your self-talk. It may take practice, but if you keep “listening” in to your inner voice, you’ll begin to notice when you talk negatively to yourself.
2) Challenge the negative messages. When you notice yourself saying something negative such as, “You’re such a screw-up, you can’t do anything right” – stop yourself and challenge that belief. Is that really true? Maybe you mess up sometimes, but do you ALWAYS mess up? Probably not.
3) Replace the negative messages with positive messages. When you realize you’re saying unkind and untrue things to yourself, simply turn it around in your mind. Using the above example, you might say, “Wow, that’s not true at all! I do plenty of things right. It’s true I make mistakes, but so does everyone. I’m a good person and I try my best. That’s good enough for me.”
Over time, your efforts will pay off in the form of stronger self-esteem and respect for yourself and your capabilities. It probably won’t happen overnight, but the more you work at turning your self-talk in a more positive direction, the better you’ll feel about yourself. Catch me on: http://theresilientinvestors.ning.com
Did you know that you talk to yourself all day long? No, not the mental chatter about activities and chores that you need to remember throughout the day. That’s a form of self-talk too, but I’m referring more to the things you say to yourself on a regular basis; and more importantly, the tone in which you say them.
When you make a mistake, do you berate yourself angrily? Do you put yourself down or call yourself derogatory names? When you have a hard time making positive changes in your life, do you bemoan what a “worthless” person you are and conclude that you’ll never do anything right?
Negative self-talk can be incredibly damaging to your self-esteem, especially if it’s a big part of your daily life. When you keep saying things like that to yourself, eventually you begin to believe them!
Most often these messages begin as statements uttered by the adults in your life when you were a child. They may have said something negative about you when your actions displeased them, or perhaps they had a habit of saying unkind things even when you didn’t deserve it. As painful as these experiences can be, even worse is when you pick up where they left off and keep repeating the same negative messages to yourself over and over!
The good news is that you can change your self-talk any time you want. You just have to know how to become aware of the tone of your messages and consciously replace them with more encouraging ones.
Try these simple steps for starters:
1) Develop awareness of your self-talk. It may take practice, but if you keep “listening” in to your inner voice, you’ll begin to notice when you talk negatively to yourself.
2) Challenge the negative messages. When you notice yourself saying something negative such as, “You’re such a screw-up, you can’t do anything right” – stop yourself and challenge that belief. Is that really true? Maybe you mess up sometimes, but do you ALWAYS mess up? Probably not.
3) Replace the negative messages with positive messages. When you realize you’re saying unkind and untrue things to yourself, simply turn it around in your mind. Using the above example, you might say, “Wow, that’s not true at all! I do plenty of things right. It’s true I make mistakes, but so does everyone. I’m a good person and I try my best. That’s good enough for me.”
Over time, your efforts will pay off in the form of stronger self-esteem and respect for yourself and your capabilities. It probably won’t happen overnight, but the more you work at turning your self-talk in a more positive direction, the better you’ll feel about yourself. Catch me on: http://theresilientinvestors.ning.com
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Theres Only One YOU!!
Learning to Love Yourself :
Loving yourself can be difficult when you have limiting and derogatory messages playing in your subconscious mind. Most of these messages are recorded during childhood, but their effects can be far reaching! Did you know that you’re still being influenced by the things your parents and others said to you decades ago?
When someone told you that you were no good, you believed them. When someone told you that you’d never amount to anything, you believed them. When someone told you that you were stupid or learning disabled or weird, you believed them. And you still believe them to this day – even if you’re not consciously aware of these underlying beliefs.
Is it possible to overcome old messages and replace them with new, empowering messages? Yes! Here are three good ways to start:
1) Romance yourself. Think about the last love affair you had. At the beginning you and your partner probably devoted a lot of time, attention and affection to each other, right? You felt passionate and swept away by the beauty of your partner and he/she probably felt the same about you. One of the best ways to learn to love yourself is to enter into a similar process – with yourself! Treat yourself like royalty! Do things that make you feel happy. Hug yourself. Sweet-talk yourself. Buy yourself nice things. Spend quality time with yourself simply because you deserve it.
2) Explore your existing beliefs. You may suspect you have old, limiting messages rattling around in your head but still be unsure about what they are exactly. In order to discover the beliefs that are holding you back, you may need to go on an expedition. Begin exploring your existing beliefs by writing in a journal. Give yourself prompts or questions like these: “My earliest memory of feeling stupid was . . .” “My mother always made me feel . . .” “My father always treated me like . . .” and so on. The idea is to think back to an earlier time in your life and see if you can discover when and where your limiting beliefs got started. Then, challenge those beliefs. Are they still true? Were they ever true? Decide what you WANT to be true, and begin to replace the old belief by focusing more on your new and improved beliefs.
3) Emphasize your good qualities! When you have low self-esteem, you tend to keep focusing on the things that are “wrong with you,” and dismissing the things that you have going for you. Start to turn this around by praising and encouraging yourself in your self-talk. When you accomplish something, congratulate yourself! Say things like, “Wow, I’m really proud of myself for doing that. It wasn’t easy, but I pushed through the rough spots and gave it my best shot.” You can also make a point of simply giving yourself positive self-talk daily. Recite affirmations like these: “I am a valuable person. I have a lot to offer the world. I’m talented and successful.” The more you do it, the more you’ll come to believe it!. Catch me on:http://theresilientinvestors.ning.cum
Loving yourself can be difficult when you have limiting and derogatory messages playing in your subconscious mind. Most of these messages are recorded during childhood, but their effects can be far reaching! Did you know that you’re still being influenced by the things your parents and others said to you decades ago?
When someone told you that you were no good, you believed them. When someone told you that you’d never amount to anything, you believed them. When someone told you that you were stupid or learning disabled or weird, you believed them. And you still believe them to this day – even if you’re not consciously aware of these underlying beliefs.
Is it possible to overcome old messages and replace them with new, empowering messages? Yes! Here are three good ways to start:
1) Romance yourself. Think about the last love affair you had. At the beginning you and your partner probably devoted a lot of time, attention and affection to each other, right? You felt passionate and swept away by the beauty of your partner and he/she probably felt the same about you. One of the best ways to learn to love yourself is to enter into a similar process – with yourself! Treat yourself like royalty! Do things that make you feel happy. Hug yourself. Sweet-talk yourself. Buy yourself nice things. Spend quality time with yourself simply because you deserve it.
2) Explore your existing beliefs. You may suspect you have old, limiting messages rattling around in your head but still be unsure about what they are exactly. In order to discover the beliefs that are holding you back, you may need to go on an expedition. Begin exploring your existing beliefs by writing in a journal. Give yourself prompts or questions like these: “My earliest memory of feeling stupid was . . .” “My mother always made me feel . . .” “My father always treated me like . . .” and so on. The idea is to think back to an earlier time in your life and see if you can discover when and where your limiting beliefs got started. Then, challenge those beliefs. Are they still true? Were they ever true? Decide what you WANT to be true, and begin to replace the old belief by focusing more on your new and improved beliefs.
3) Emphasize your good qualities! When you have low self-esteem, you tend to keep focusing on the things that are “wrong with you,” and dismissing the things that you have going for you. Start to turn this around by praising and encouraging yourself in your self-talk. When you accomplish something, congratulate yourself! Say things like, “Wow, I’m really proud of myself for doing that. It wasn’t easy, but I pushed through the rough spots and gave it my best shot.” You can also make a point of simply giving yourself positive self-talk daily. Recite affirmations like these: “I am a valuable person. I have a lot to offer the world. I’m talented and successful.” The more you do it, the more you’ll come to believe it!. Catch me on:http://theresilientinvestors.ning.cum
Monday, March 30, 2009
Failure Doesn’t Exist:
Have you ever held back on doing something because you were afraid of failure? Most people have! Let’s face it; no one likes to fail. None of us likes to feel like we’re ineffective, weak or lacking in any way, and that’s exactly how failure makes us feel.
However, you may be surprised to know that failure doesn’t exist – until YOU say it does. In the dictionary, failure has several definitions: 1) a failing to do or perform 2) a state of inability to perform a normal function adequately 3) a fracturing or giving way under stress 4) a lack of success.
Look carefully at those definitions and you’ll probably realize they have one thing in common when it comes to goal achievement: failure is a PERCEPTION.
If you believe you have failed, then you have. If you believe you don’t have the ability to succeed, then you don’t. If you believe you can’t handle the pressure of achieving your goals, you can’t. If you believe you’re not successful, you aren’t. Failure only exists in your own mind! The moment you decide to give up or stop working toward your goals, failure is born.
But what if you never do that? What if you continue working toward your goals, one step at a time for as long as it takes? There’s no failure then, is there?
This insight should be very encouraging if you’ve been working toward goals and not yet seeing positive results. Simply keep going and you cannot fail!
Here are three tips to help you stay strong and focused on your goals:
1) Never give yourself an out. Most people do this without even realizing it. They are willing to work hard on achieving their goals, until the going gets too rough or their motivation dwindles. Don’t do that! Commit to making your goals happen, no matter what! Never quit, never contemplate admitting failure, and never lose your inner determination.
2) Don’t get hooked on a specific timeframe for completion. It’s okay to set a general timeline, but be aware that some circumstances will be beyond your control, so you can’t say for sure when your goal will be achieved. If you do that, you’re just setting yourself up for failure! Instead, get a general idea of when you’d like your goal to be completed, but then take it a day at a time and focus on making progress, not reaching the finish line in as little time as possible.
3) Finally, be sure that you don’t view obstacles and setbacks as failures. The two are completely different. An obstacle, setback or delay means only one thing: it’s not time for your goal to be completed yet. That’s it! It doesn’t mean you failed; it doesn’t mean you’re weak; it doesn’t mean you’ll never achieve your goals. It simply means you’re not done yet. You’ve got to keep moving forward and find a way around or through the obstacle. Catch me on : http://theresilientinvestors.ning.com
Have you ever held back on doing something because you were afraid of failure? Most people have! Let’s face it; no one likes to fail. None of us likes to feel like we’re ineffective, weak or lacking in any way, and that’s exactly how failure makes us feel.
However, you may be surprised to know that failure doesn’t exist – until YOU say it does. In the dictionary, failure has several definitions: 1) a failing to do or perform 2) a state of inability to perform a normal function adequately 3) a fracturing or giving way under stress 4) a lack of success.
Look carefully at those definitions and you’ll probably realize they have one thing in common when it comes to goal achievement: failure is a PERCEPTION.
If you believe you have failed, then you have. If you believe you don’t have the ability to succeed, then you don’t. If you believe you can’t handle the pressure of achieving your goals, you can’t. If you believe you’re not successful, you aren’t. Failure only exists in your own mind! The moment you decide to give up or stop working toward your goals, failure is born.
But what if you never do that? What if you continue working toward your goals, one step at a time for as long as it takes? There’s no failure then, is there?
This insight should be very encouraging if you’ve been working toward goals and not yet seeing positive results. Simply keep going and you cannot fail!
Here are three tips to help you stay strong and focused on your goals:
1) Never give yourself an out. Most people do this without even realizing it. They are willing to work hard on achieving their goals, until the going gets too rough or their motivation dwindles. Don’t do that! Commit to making your goals happen, no matter what! Never quit, never contemplate admitting failure, and never lose your inner determination.
2) Don’t get hooked on a specific timeframe for completion. It’s okay to set a general timeline, but be aware that some circumstances will be beyond your control, so you can’t say for sure when your goal will be achieved. If you do that, you’re just setting yourself up for failure! Instead, get a general idea of when you’d like your goal to be completed, but then take it a day at a time and focus on making progress, not reaching the finish line in as little time as possible.
3) Finally, be sure that you don’t view obstacles and setbacks as failures. The two are completely different. An obstacle, setback or delay means only one thing: it’s not time for your goal to be completed yet. That’s it! It doesn’t mean you failed; it doesn’t mean you’re weak; it doesn’t mean you’ll never achieve your goals. It simply means you’re not done yet. You’ve got to keep moving forward and find a way around or through the obstacle. Catch me on : http://theresilientinvestors.ning.com
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
Do We Really Need The Banks Money ?
Hello, good people The Resilient Investor is back once more. As I travel around looking at real estate. I hear all sorts of talk from all walks of people in the street and in private settings, about the plight of real estate as an investment vehicle or comments like :I'm afraid to buy, so I guess I'll just rent. I just look at these people and smile. Oh, be still my check book/ cashiers check. So many properties to buy and not enough blank contracts on hand. Folks, like it or leave it this is the big one. The shift of equity has already been placed and no more nose bleed prices. The hand of make sense prices has been activated, so lets go with the flow and not against it. Now we have so many home owners who are upside down as the phrase goes. They owe more to the bank than what their house is worth . What about them?. I feel very strongly that it's our duty as professional investors to combine our prayers, skills, money and resources together as a master mind group and come up with some creative ideas and financing to help these good people. I have always been one of those old school investors who were against using bank funds to finance my real estate purchases, especially since I wasn't in this business just for the money, so I take the long road.I close on one deal at a time using my company's money and not with the banks. Mr Steady Eddie is still here and not having to beg the bank to reinstate my credit line. SMILE.
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
Beating The Bushes To See What Comes Out
Hello one and all. This is your friend The Resilient Investor back from the real estate front.This is such a great opportunity for us investor folks,especially the full time ones.Why is that you may say?Well because other than the old RTC days( remember that one?) this is the second wave of the perfect storm for real estate investors in my life time.The one where the banks are so eager to work with us ( please, please, please)like the lyrics from a James Brown song.When the market is on the up swing they(the banks) pretty much tell us to take a hike. Don't go away mad just go away. But the real truth is this WE INVESTORS ARE THE MOVERS AND SHAKERS AND THE HELPERS TO THIS INDUSTRY!.That's my story and I'm sticking to it. Now the banks are calling us for help. The step children that were casted a side to help them move the ABUNDANCE of their inventory. It's okay, Mr/Mrs bank I forgive you. But, my offer is still 40 cents on the dollar. Now with all this you still got to do your home work and your Columbo inspections.We make our money in the beginning of the deal and not at the end.Don't get GREEDY, its more than enough for everyone.This is a life style. The one that you eat, sleep and think of all the time. Its a road that we are paving with our blood, sweat and tears and tax write offs along the way. So keep moving, keep building your portfolio and NEVER, NEVER, NEVER GIVE UP!.Until next week,follow up on all leads and return all phone calls.
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