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Where to Find Good Men When You Think They’re All Taken

Where to Find Good Men When You Think They’re All Taken   

There’s a bit of myth that circulates a woman’s mind (often wildly perpetuated by media) that unless you’re  already married, all the good men are gone. Sorry gals but that’s simply not true.
There is a vast world out there full of eligible men that very well could turn out to be your very own Mr. McDreamy… if you know how to look for him. The first step in finding something you’re looking for or attracting that thing that you want most is to get really clear about just what the heck you want in the first place.

This Holds True for Finding and Attracting Mr. Right As Well

You need to know what kind of guy you want in your life for the long haul before you can even attempt to narrow down the field and figure out where to find him. Sound a little science-like? It almost sort of is!
Think about it for a moment though.

If you know very specifically the traits you do and do not want in a man it gives you the ability to quickly (and more importantly painlessly) move through the masses and walk away from a man that doesn’t fit your personal “Man Picture” without hesitation.  

You don’t wind up involved in messy relationships with men you will never be able to live with long-term because you already know (based on your personal “Man Picture”) exactly the type of guy you want to settle down with. It also allows you to find said man much easier by avoiding places you know he absolutely would not be caught dead in. It’s a bit like sales, marketing, and “Customer Avatars”; only applied to relationships and your own personal likes and dislikes in a mate.

In sales an ideal customer avatar is created based on all the characteristics market research has shown would make up a person most interested in a particular product or service. Then based on that customer avatar and all of those characteristics, targeted sales materials are created to sell specifically to that (fictional) person.
 
By the same token, if you create your own ideal personal “Man Picture” made up of all the traits and characteristics in a man that you absolutely adore… you know exactly who you are looking for.
You are then better able to figure out just where this man might be found and won’t waste valuable time or wind up battling heartbreak (to quote an old country song) by  “looking for love in all the wrong places”.

In Girl Gets Ring I talk about something called the Waterfall Characteristic. In a quick nutshell it’s basically a single driving character trait you are looking for in a man that when you find it… you find the man that also tends to have a lion’s share of all those other character traits you’re looking for. Suddenly that man’s chances of being Mr. Right are increased exponentially. But you won’t know that single driving character trait or any of those other traits if you don’t first take some time to get really clear on who Mr. Right really is to you.

Create that mental picture of Mr. Right and then you can start putting yourself in his path by frequenting places he is most likely to be found.

Sample Questions to Help You Snapshot Your Personal “Man Picture”

• What does he look like?
• Is his hair long?
• Is his hair short?
• Is he clean-shaven or somewhat scruffy?
• What does he like to do?
• Where does he like to hang out?
• Who does he like to hang out with?
• What sort of job does he have?
• Is he into manual labor?
• Does he have a desk job?
• Is he funny?
• Is he serious?
• Is he athletic?
• Is he a fascinating blend of all three?
• Does he like books?
• Does he like art?
• Does he like to cook?
• Does he prefer sushi over BBQ?
• Does he prefer t-shirts or dress shirts?
• Does he like wearing boots or flip-flops?

As you can see these questions can get pretty specific. You can be as broad or as narrow as you want but the clearer a picture you can get of Mr. Right the better your chances of spotting him when he drifts into your orbit.
Once you have that personal “Man Picture” in place you should then have a good starting point on where to begin looking for him based on his most dominant characteristics and you can begin placing yourself onto a path of collision. (I know! The space metaphors are awesome… what can I say, I’m on a roll.)

Careful though because you may find this strategy winds up placing more than one Mr. Right in your path which then leaves you with (gasp) options! For obvious reasons you don’t want too many of those but it never hurts to have more than one apple to choose from right?

And there you were, thinking all the good men were taken. You just didn’t know how to find them!