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Showing posts with label I want to keep the love alive. Show all posts
Showing posts with label I want to keep the love alive. Show all posts

Wednesday, December 26, 2012

Effective Tips On How To Save My Marriage





 

Effective Tips On How To Save My Marriage



If your relationship between the two of you to the point of questioning how long you will be together, you may be asking how to save my marriage. Remember that a marriage is a union of two people, so finding solutions to your marriage problems together is essential. These problems cannot be solved by just one of you.

Here are some tips that can help bring you together and increase the chances of your marriage lasting:

- No marriage is perfect. Unlike fairy tales, typical marriages have their flaws just like each of us do. Do not expect perfection from each other. Accept that there will be lumps and bumps along the way.

- Marriage requires work. For your relationship to work, both of you need to realize that it takes work to make a marriage strong. The more work that you put into your marriage can result in an honest and happy relationship. If you do not take this seriously, it can be detrimental. The areas that typically need the most work involve trust and respect in one another . Without these things, your relationship will fall apart.

- Communicate and listen effectively. Create an environment where you can talk to each other without getting upset. Speak calmly and clearly about how you feel and allow your partner to do the same. Make sure to listen to what they have to say, regardless of what they say. Discuss how each of you feel and find common ground where both of you feel that you can find solutions for issues you are facing. The more open and honest you are with each other, the better.

- Do not dwell on past problems. Do not let past mistakes or misunderstandings determine the future of your marriage. While your past problems may be quite serious, dwelling on them will not help your marriage. Focus on the here and now and take each day as it comes.

- Be more giving to one another. Be considerate of each others needs and feelings. You can do caring gestures to simply show that you are thinking of them. If you are unsure as to what you should do for your spouse, ask them what you can do to make them happy. Doing something that will make them feel loved  and special can go a long way towards strengthening your relationship. Sometimes doing the simplest things can mean the most to them.

If you have tried all of the above and still are asking how to save my marriage, a professional marriage counselor may be your best option. The decision to go to a counselor must be made by both of you as it will not work if you both do not participate fully.

If you are both truly committed to making changes to save your marriage, a counselor can offer unbiased advice to help you. By getting advice from counselor, it may help you see your problems in a different light and help you find solutions.

Thursday, July 26, 2012

What NEVER to say or do to your man...









Hello,


You’ve got to read this fantastic article I just came across.

It’s by Randy Bennett, a licensed relationship therapist, who has stumbled onto a special technique you can use to get your man to treat you like he did when you first started dating – for good!  Here it is below – I hope you enjoy.

Dr. Paul Pharms,PhD.  :)

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Have you ever wondered why some men treat their women like a princess even well PAST the dating phase?

Even after many years these guys STILL buy flowers, they remember EVERY special occasion and they give their women their FULL attention when they are with them.

They NEVER retreat to the garage, NEVER ignore them to watch the football game on TV and NEVER disappear for hours on end to play golf with their “buddies”.

Well recent reports from relationship scientists (yes, those do exist!) say that you can actually get that exact SAME love, attention and warmth from your man, regardless of how long you’ve been together or how rocky your relationship may be.

The Secret to Getting Your Man to Treat YOU Like a Princess...

The secret to unlocking this same love and affection from your man is probably something you’ve never considered.

But once you know the secret, you can literally change your man and influence him to treat you better...even like a princess.

Now before you accuse me of heresy, let me explain by asking you a question:

Is there something you or your man does that REALLY gets him going?

You know what I’m talking about... maybe it’s a word, or a certain look, maybe a flick of the hand or a shoulder shrug – something that REALLY gets under his skin?

Whatever it is you KNOW it drives him batty and the result is typically the same.

Within milliseconds, his face turns the color of a boiled lobster; his heart practically leaps out of his chest and he either explodes with rage, he runs away to the garage and you don’t see him for hours, or he just sits there...stone-faced, not saying a word.

WHAT just happened?

His Brain Was Just Hijacked...

Familiar with the fight or flight response?  Well, you just witnessed it and it’s the reason why a simple argument can turn into an all-out war.

Every one of us has a little internal guard on duty 24/7 in our brain.  It’s called the amygdala and it’s a small walnut-sized part of your brain responsible for alerting the body to danger.

The amygdala processes incoming information and automatically searches your memory bank to determine if it recognizes the information as friend or foe.

All of this happens instantly, and if the brain has memory of that word or action and the memory is bad... the body goes into an automatic negative response over which you have almost NO control.

It’s called neural hijacking and it literally stops love, warmth and intimacy from being able to enter the relationship.

And this automatic negative response is triggered by those little shoulder shrugs, those eye rolls...and anything else you may do that has conditioned your man to react negatively.

And once this happens, it’s game over – your man won’t listen to ANYTHING you say after this and you’ll both go round and round with finger-pointing, name-calling and laying blame on each other.

How to Eliminate these Triggers and Establish a Deep Emotional Connection...

The good news is that you can uncover what these triggers are (for BOTH of you) and set the stage for both of you to plant, nurture and harvest new feelings of love and intimacy.

Here’s exactly what you do:

First, think of a few actions you know set him off.  Be specific.  You know what they are, if you dig deep enough -- you use a “tone,” you make a face, you have a specific phrase you say when discussing a touchy subject, whatever.

And when you use any of these things, you get a negative response out of him.  Write those down now and remember them.

Second, go straight to the source: ask him what you do that sets off his emotional firebombs.  But don’t get defensive...let him have his say...just listen.
 
He may feel reluctant at first to share, or maybe he’s not even aware that there might be something specific linked to his going off.  Regardless, after you begin compiling your list here is what you do...

Avoid those words or actions at ALL COSTS.

It’s as simple as that.

Unless you really want to end up a divorce statistic or you really enjoy sifting through dating sites, avoid doing those behaviors or saying those words that cause problems in your relationship.

Once these are gone...your partner won’t have those mental blocks or love filters, and you’ll have a much easier time building intimacy and affection again.

This really works and I’ve been using this tip and several others for 25 years, teaching it to every woman who comes to me wanting to know how to melt her man’s heart...and in return, have her man treat her like he did when they first started dating – like a princess!

I wish you the best.

Randall E. Bennett, MA, LMFT, LCPC

P.S.  Due to the overwhelming response I’ve received about these relationship triggers that can cause a good relationship to go bad, I recently put together a video that explains in much more detail exactly how you can eliminate them to develop a deep emotional connection with your man.
Nobody really talks about this technique and it’s a shame, because it’s extremely powerful and works in almost any situation.

It’s something you MUST know if you want to understand exactly what your man REALLY wants, what makes him tick, and how to get him to shower you with the love, care and affection that you deserve...not because you are forcing him to do it, but because he actually WANTS to do it.

So, sit back, relax and go watch my video as I am not sure how much longer I will have it up.